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wearejellyfish
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increased anxiety while stoned
#7905873 - 01/20/08 01:44 PM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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i've been smoking for about three or four years.. i used to smoke every night by myself. then i moved for college. stopped smoking as much by myself. sometimes smoked with others. sometimes got extreme anxiety and my body would shake. and i'd overthink, everything pessimistic.
well i stopped smoking for about two months. and i broke my break last night with my boyfriend. (he smokes a lot, all the time) and he was kinda surprised, but glad. he doesn't really understand my anxiety so he didn't really get why i stopped. so i took a hit. and there it was. i sat there feeling shaky. my body would shake ever so slightly. we talked though, a lot. we hardly ever talk it seems like, and it's weird. but when i got stoned i talked. about stuff i think about when i'm sober. so why the fuck can't i talk about that stuff when i'm sober? and then as words were coming out of my mouth, i would think about them as i heard them. i would say 'like' a lot but i couldn't help it. i would pause a lot because i kept thinking about what i was saying. and my voice sounded weird and sometimes shaky but i don't think enough for him to notice.
i just feel like my anxiety is high for no fucking reason. but it's like that whenever i smoke now. and i don't get it . i hate it. and i've tried to analyze it and try to get myself to calm down, but it doesn't fully work.
and i know i'm a lot more social and less awkward when i'm high because last year i was asked if i was 'on something' because i was 'actually talking'.
and i find that i hardly talk to anyone in person. i can talk to people online a lot. but in person. i just kind of sit there, 'weird and quiet' as someone let me know a few weeks ago.
advice? or maybe i'm just completely inept for socializing in person. send benzos
Edited by wearejellyfish (01/20/08 02:04 PM)
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
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Stop smoking weed for at least a year. It seems that weed does that to everyone at a moment, it did that to me too, so I stopped and then it got better. And score some good E. Take it with your boyfriend (or anyone else you feel really close to) and talk.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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wearejellyfish
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Re: increased anxiety while stoned [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7905930 - 01/20/08 02:06 PM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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yeah. he said a bit ago that he might be able to get some pure mdma from his friend. but that was a might. and it's been a week or two since he said that and i want to ask about it, but i don't want him to get annoyed.. though i've only asked once before.
but i know that he would tell me once he was about to get it. which i truly hope that does, because i think that would be truly amazing to experience with each other.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
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You can tell him that the reason why you are asking again is because you feel it's what you need right now. You two (from what I have read from you) have still to get a lot closed to each other, in a place where one doesn't gets annoyed by the other asking the same question multiple times. A relationship is how you make it to be, and frankly, I don't see the purpose of two people being together if they're not close. It does more harm than good. Work on that with him, because it can turn into a wonderful experience for the both of us. MDMA can do this for you, but you both have to be aware of what's happening and continue it, especially after the effects fade off, otherwise this whole experience will become nothing but a meaningless cliche.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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wearejellyfish
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Re: increased anxiety while stoned [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7905961 - 01/20/08 02:22 PM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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there's this barrier between us keeping us from getting close i guess. i hope mdma can fix that. and that's good advice, especially on continuing everything after the effects have faded.
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JRayV
former guy on couch




Registered: 10/20/06
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I agree that marijuana and social anxiety go hand-in-hand. I can feel a difference in mental clarity and willingness to talk to people. Also, I have a much stronger personality and sense of humor with daily pot use out of the picture. It's not completely out of the picture, though. Occaisional marijuana use is the best form of stress relief that I know of. If it weren't for that, I would've ripped the hair out of my head a long time ago.
MDMA is great therapy for depression and anxiety, but it works too well and you may find yourself using it alot more than you need to. That's a chapter of your life that you could do without.
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wearejellyfish
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Re: increased anxiety while stoned [Re: JRayV]
#7905973 - 01/20/08 02:26 PM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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i think that's what my boyfriend is afraid of. i'm not sure if more for him but for me. but it's too hard to get anyway, so i guess that's a plus in case i would want it like that. but i think one time would be enough to kick start things
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



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Yes, MDMA is highly mentally addictive for some persons, myself included. I overdid it in the past, now I seems to be satisfied with it a few times a year. The truth is that, when you feel uncertain of yourself you tend to keep wanting more, that's what got me there in the first place, so being a little extra careful with that wouldn't hut you. Also, an idea just hit me. Why don't you take a debate class? I did this in high school, and besides the fact that you learn A LOT from it, it also helps tremendously when it comes to fixing anxieties. Plus it's fun.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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wearejellyfish
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Re: increased anxiety while stoned [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7906255 - 01/20/08 04:06 PM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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i've actually heard that a few times, to take a debate class. but i absolutely hate debating. in my discussion classes we can do that though. i'm pretty confident with not becoming addicted because i don't seem to have an addictive personality. i've been prescribed on adderall but never took them on weekends, could stop whenever. started smoking cigarettes for a while but quit cold turkey and was okay. the only thing i seem to be addicted to is the internet :P but for a wonderful reason
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


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Honestly, I think it's bad advice to recommend taking MDMA to overcome communication issues. It may be more difficult to overcome a fear of talking while sober, but it's infinitely better for you. That way you can attribute your success to your own effort and not to a drug that will fuck your seratonin balance.
If you find it hard to talk to your boyfriend, try writing him letters at first. You don't necessarily have to even give them to him, but writing letters to people really helps you gather your thoughts and understand them. You can also give him a letter spelling out some of the things you want to talk about. It's a lot easier than trying to force words out of your mouth when you're nervous and anxious. I used to have SERIOUS problems with talking about my feelings or really anything with people but made the COMMITMENT to myself to work through it. Letters were a good start. Then forcing words out of my mouth. Sometimes it helps to sit back to back so they can't look at your face. It's less embarrassing when you know that they can't see your face. Or talk in the dark. I promise it gets easier over time. Each time you break down a little bit of the wall it's the most incredibly liberating feeling! Even if it takes baby steps. Over a few years of working through my communication issues in baby steps, I now feel pretty confident about it and am probably a better communicator that most. It just takes believing in yourself and challenging yourself to take each step.
Good luck!
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wearejellyfish
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Re: increased anxiety while stoned [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7906680 - 01/20/08 06:03 PM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
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very good advice. though i think he would make me feel a little dumb for writing a letter rather than telling him face to face or online. it seems to be easier to talk to him while we're lying next to each other in bed before we go to sleep.
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


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yeah, writing letters can feel dumb -- but it's not! It's an extremely effective way of learning how to gather thoughts and share them. And if it's a choice between letters and emails, letters are way more special. Yeah, the before sleep talk is always a good one. It's dark and quiet and you're close. Whatever works for you. These are just suggestions culled from my own experience. I felt dumb writing letters, but I needed to do it for awhile. I've used letters to express important feelings that I couldn't bring myself to speak, and writing them has helped me learn how to speak and that it is safe to do so.
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
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Just don't force it. You have to let the conversation flow I learned. If you force it, it is like you are not connecting on a mental level with these people but instead just blurting out responses. If that makes sense. You really just have to learn to let it 'flow' which can be hard. I still cannot do it.
Learn to take your time or it'll take you! But seriously I realize I tend to get worked up about things if I think about them in terms as the future. Example "I wonder if ill knkow anyone at this party. I wonder if ill get laid. What if its boring"
You create your own reality, if you think something like that is going to happen well then it probably will.
I guess the 'moral' of the story is Don't Dwell. I tend to dwell alot so when I get out of these dwelling states of mind I 'lose' myself and can't communicate with anyone else except my own thoughts.
Take my advice with a grain of salt because everyones experiences are different. I hope I helped somewhat.
Don't rush it and don't force it.
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JRayV
former guy on couch




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Re: increased anxiety while stoned [Re: Tangerines]
#7909923 - 01/21/08 02:36 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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Yes. Don't dwell, and don't over-analyze.
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wearejellyfish
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Re: increased anxiety while stoned [Re: JRayV]
#7910146 - 01/21/08 03:43 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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i think i worry about worrying. i do that future thing.. where i just worry about what might happen and what to expect and shit.
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
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As people have said, anxiety never really goes away. You just need to learn how you can embrace it and use it to your advantage.
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wearejellyfish
Stranger



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Re: increased anxiety while stoned [Re: Tangerines]
#7910254 - 01/21/08 04:10 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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advantage? how is having anxiety any bit towards an advantage?
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
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Well it never really goes away I am sayin. In my case my anxiety comes from over awareness. Like I am too aware of everything that is goin on. Every single fucking detail.
Everyone is different though.
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


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Re: increased anxiety while stoned [Re: Tangerines]
#7910926 - 01/21/08 06:07 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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Anxiety can and does go away with effort! Shall I talk about myself some more? Or has everyone had enough of life-lessons-with-NiamhNyx?
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wearejellyfish
Stranger



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Re: increased anxiety while stoned [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7911345 - 01/21/08 07:03 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
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yes, go on
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