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OfflineCannabischarlie
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Being closer with your friends
    #7887964 - 01/16/08 11:51 AM (16 years, 16 days ago)

I seem to fail at this. I feel like everyone can be close with there friends and call them up and say "hey whats up, you wanna do something?" and I feel like I can't really get to a level with a lot of people that I feel comfortable doing things like that.

How do you let someone know you would like to spend time with them and "Be friends"? I want to be more than acquaintances with some people.


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #7888002 - 01/16/08 12:08 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

Quote:

Cannabischarlie said:
I seem to fail at this. I feel like everyone can be close with there friends and call them up and say "hey whats up, you wanna do something?" and I feel like I can't really get to a level with a lot of people that I feel comfortable doing things like that.

How do you let someone know you would like to spend time with them and "Be friends"? I want to be more than acquaintances with some people.




It's easier for other people because they've already done it a lot.  The more you avoid something, the harder it is to do.  The more times you do something, the more comfortable and easy it becomes.

Watch other people do this, and emulate them.  Say some of the same things they say. 

A typical exchange:

"Hey man it's _________... Just wanted to see what you're up to... "

(blah blah small talk)

"So what ever happened with (whatever thing they were talking about the other day)..."

(blah blah)

"Hey what are you up to (tonight/tomorrow/saturday)?"

(blah)

"I kinda feel like doing something... You want to (go to a show/go out for a beer/shoot hoops/etc)?"

:smile:

Maintain a positive, light tone throughout.  If they decline, no big deal; I'm sure you've declined invitations for a million reasons that have nothing to do with the other person.  In any case, just making contact with people really opens things up between you.

Once you start doing this regularly, it becomes pretty natural.  I used to be very intimidated at the prospect of doing this, but it doesn't take too much practice to become fairly comfortable with it.

Fake it until you make it is another way of saying it.


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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Offlinewocka
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #7888006 - 01/16/08 12:09 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

its kind of wat your into.. i have 3 really close friends including my older brother. we all connect on a surfing level and it really brings us together. we all love to ride waves so we sort of just say fuck everyone else and all there drama and we run off and go surf, have a great session and toke a bowl..i think you need something to get along with and be able to gain trust with eachother. id rather have one close friend than 10 sketchy acquaintances. bros before hoes


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #7888014 - 01/16/08 12:13 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

I just want to emphasize the point of watching other people do this. I have a friend who acts ridiculously familiar with people he just met (way more than I would ever be) and guess what, he has a shitload of friends. Sure, a lot of them he only knows on a superficial basis, but that's the perfect start for a real friendship.


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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InvisibleSell Your Soul
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #7888034 - 01/16/08 12:20 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

You'll have more success at becoming closer friends with people whom you share the same interests.
Being able to relate to each other about things that happened in the past is also a great way to make them like you more.

The most important part is not to be shy.
Don't be afraid to say silly shit to them, just because you think they might give you a weird look and think you're lame.

Remember - everyone is different.
Just because someone might act in a way you didn't expect, doesn't mean others will do that too.


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Offlinesam420
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: Sell Your Soul]
    #7888083 - 01/16/08 12:38 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

I don't want to be 'that guy' in this thread but if you're into it, alcohol OR ecstasy OR weed OR shrooms OR acid have all helped me cement very firm friendships.

Getting fucked up with somebody is a solid bonding experience.

If you're not into it then don't. Just be yourself. Sounds cliche I guess but if you're real, you get real friends. If you're fake, you get fake friends.


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:duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead:

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InvisibleDontPlay
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: sam420]
    #7888121 - 01/16/08 12:49 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

LOL yeah my buddy Ricky is one of those off the wall will do anything, talk to anyone kinda people. He can go into walmart and literally pick up girls and leave with them. He could probably do the same with guys but I doubt he wants to :wink: Anyway just like Wiskey said you just have to be comfortable, if the people are into some of the same things you are it should be really easy. I can relate however I have a hard time making new friends but the ones that I got you better believe I call them up if im bored and we usually do something. Even if it's just hang out at one of your houses and see whats on tv, smoke a bowl, drink a beer or whatever.


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I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. 
    Hunter S. Thompson



I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.
~Thomas Jefferson


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OfflineKonyap


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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: DontPlay]
    #7888147 - 01/16/08 12:55 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

yea theres always akwardness but more times then others its just respect, dont worry bout people judgin you theyll do it anyway


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Invisible40oz
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #7888460 - 01/16/08 02:37 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

if you have a cellphone, use txt messaging.
its the perfect catalyst to initiate conversation
& it isnt as obtrusive as a phone call.
while txting, dont be too eager to ask 'lets hang out'
just let that conversation come when it comes.


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"your avatar is dirty."


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OfflineCannabischarlie
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: 40oz]
    #7888481 - 01/16/08 02:44 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

I used to be more outgoing, now I feel I worry about stepping on peoples toes.


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This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
-tiny_rabid_birds


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OfflineThe_Ghost
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #7888513 - 01/16/08 02:55 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

Making new friends is def an issue. Sure you can get to know someone you think might be interesting. But for me to really want to call someone up and do something with that person, it usually takes having known them for years. Otherwise there really isn't anything there that makes me care at all for that person, or think of a reason why they should care to spend time with me. Everyone is pretty much the same anyways.


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/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #7888527 - 01/16/08 02:57 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

Quote:

Cannabischarlie said:
I used to be more outgoing, now I feel I worry about stepping on peoples toes.




When did that change?


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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OfflineCannabischarlie
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #7888665 - 01/16/08 03:29 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

Within the last few years. I used to talk to random people in High School all the time.


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This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
-tiny_rabid_birds


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Invisible40oz
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #7888685 - 01/16/08 03:33 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

Quote:

Cannabischarlie said:
I used to be more outgoing, now I feel I worry about stepping on peoples toes.




you seem like you worry too much.

what type of person are you?

are you fun to be around?

etc


--------------------
:pacman: - - - -  :pill: :mushroom2: :pill2: :mushroom2: :regularshroom: :mushroomgrow: :pill: :pill2: :mushroom2: :poison:

:sun::heart::sun:

tiny_rabid_birds said:
"your avatar is dirty."


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OfflineCannabischarlie
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: 40oz]
    #7888733 - 01/16/08 03:42 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

People get butthurt easily.

People seem to like being around me.


--------------------
This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
-tiny_rabid_birds


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InvisibleMerkin
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #7888796 - 01/16/08 03:53 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

just ask them if they screw, that will sure get you closer.


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Wheels of cheese wheeels of cheeeeese!!!


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OfflineTangerines
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Re: Being closer with your friends [Re: Merkin]
    #7888805 - 01/16/08 03:56 PM (16 years, 16 days ago)

When I call my 'friends' I just ask them for drugs then come back home and do them all alone. It works for me. :shrug:


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