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Offlinerobbyberto
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Awesome quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms
    #7878271 - 01/14/08 01:04 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:http%3A//www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx%3Farchive%3D1
These quotes are awesome. Here is a taste:

"No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims."

"he Fact the Earth is Flat is not my opinion, it is a Proved Fact! While all we need to know is that the Bible says the Earth is flat (Is.40:22, Ez.7:2, Dn.2:35; 4:10-11,20, Mt.4:8)... but for a second can you imagine what these so-called 'scientists would have us believe --- If the earth really was round, that would mean there arre people who are HANGING DOWN, HEAD DOWNWARDS while we are standing head up? But since the theory allows to travel to those parts of the earth where the people are said to hand head downward, and still to fancy ourselves to be heads upwards, and our friends whom we have left behind us to be heads downwards! LOL! What foolishness! TheWHOLE THING IS A MYTH - A DREAM - A DELUSION - and a snare, and, instead of there being any evidence at all in this direction to substantiate this popular theory, it is plain proof that the Earth is Not A Globe! "

By some miracle I have avoided contact with these types of people, but do you have any stories about your run-ins with fundamentalist Christians? Maybe a crazy guy on campus or something.


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“People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn’t necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.” -Karl Pilkington



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OfflineMadtowntripper
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: robbyberto]
    #7878286 - 01/14/08 01:07 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

These folks are all over.

I love the people outside my neighborhood porn shop that have their elementary school age kids hold up huge sandwhich boards with pictures of aborted fetuses that says pornography is bad.

Yeah, sorry, but that can't be healthy for kids.

And there is the really creepy guy at school who hangs out in the stairwell of the student union handing out candy that says "Jesus Loves You". Now, I don't mind the message, but this guy is dirty and says "Hey, want some candy?" to everyone who walks by. I used to think he was some sexual deviant or something until I saw his candy that someone had taken and dropped.

All kinds of weird birds out there.


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After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus


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OfflineCannabischarlie
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #7878363 - 01/14/08 01:31 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

Um, they claim the earth is flat?

That is just retarded.


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This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
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Offlinefreddurgan
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #7878364 - 01/14/08 01:31 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

rofl???

PEOPEL HANGING UPSIDE DOWN OMGZ GRAVITY ISNT REAL


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Ishmael
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Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/


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OfflineThe_Ghost
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: freddurgan]
    #7878369 - 01/14/08 01:32 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

Damn these people must miss the middle ages.


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/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function


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InvisibleEternalCowabunga
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: The_Ghost]
    #7878378 - 01/14/08 01:35 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

AETHIESTS ARE SECRET MUZLIMMS!!!  :scream:


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OfflineEssen
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #7878382 - 01/14/08 01:37 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

That is perhaps the greatest website to ever be created, ever. I can't believe some of the shit that these people say...


Quote:

Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.




:rofl:  :foreheadslap:


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: Essen]
    #7878389 - 01/14/08 01:39 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

Quote:

Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.

Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son





Fuck this guy, srsly fuck this guy


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Edited by learningtofly (01/14/08 01:41 PM)


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Invisiblemaggotz


Registered: 06/24/06
Posts: 7,539
Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: Madtowntripper]
    #7878401 - 01/14/08 01:42 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

i don't have a neighborhood porn shop. :sad:


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: maggotz]
    #7878406 - 01/14/08 01:43 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

the essence of faggotry. its funny how they embody what they hate.


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Invisiblemaggotz


Registered: 06/24/06
Posts: 7,539
Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: learningtofly]
    #7878409 - 01/14/08 01:44 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

i think that kid killed himself.


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OfflineCaribou_Lou
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: maggotz]
    #7878424 - 01/14/08 01:49 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

Christian fanatics are just as bad as suicide bombers. Twisted, bizarre mother fuckers.

haha I just read this one:

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!


Edited by Caribou_Lou (01/14/08 01:50 PM)


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OfflineThe_Ghost
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: learningtofly]
    #7878435 - 01/14/08 01:50 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

Quote:

learningtofly said:
Quote:

Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.

Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son





Hank Hill??


--------------------
/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function


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OfflineThe_Ghost
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: Caribou_Lou]
    #7878450 - 01/14/08 01:54 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

Quote:

Caribou_Lou said:
Christian fanatics are just as bad as suicide bombers. Twisted, bizarre mother fuckers.

haha I just read this one:

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!



"
The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?"


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/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function


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OfflineEssen
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: The_Ghost]
    #7878456 - 01/14/08 01:55 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

Quote:

As far as I am concerned if an answer to a question isn't in the bible, then the you have no business asking the question. A few years ago when my wife suddenly had to get an emergency c-section I was scared. But I didnt turn to any book about quarks. Luckily I had my palm pilot with me, which just happened to have the entire King James bible on it! I read a few passages that gave me the strength to pray for her and the baby to get through this ordeal. I sure didn't need any useless trivia books about quarks to find comfort in.




I though this was kind of ironic.


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InvisibleAlteredAgain
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Re: Awesome quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: robbyberto]
    #7878462 - 01/14/08 01:56 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

Quote:

There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least.




:what: :shocked: :lol: :hypno:


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OfflineThe_Ghost
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Re: Awesome quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #7878463 - 01/14/08 01:57 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

Quote:

AlteredAgain said:
Quote:

There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least.




:what: :shocked: :lol: :hypno:



Hahaha. I was just going to post that one.


--------------------
/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: Awesome quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: The_Ghost]
    #7878471 - 01/14/08 01:59 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

factz r the work of the devil! anything that is diffrent frum wut i think is satanz work!

wuts my proof? if u think differenly then ur obvioisly the work of the devil


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InvisibleAlteredAgain
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Re: Awesome quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: learningtofly]
    #7878474 - 01/14/08 01:59 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

anyone who believes in the devil, is the devil! :evil:


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OfflineThe_Ghost
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Re: Awesome quotes from Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian chat rooms [Re: Caribou_Lou]
    #7878484 - 01/14/08 02:01 PM (16 years, 18 days ago)

Quote:

Caribou_Lou said:
Christian fanatics are just as bad as suicide bombers.



Suicide bombing is an act. I mean a whole range of people could be one. These people are just fucking stupid tho.

"Several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys don't live several million years."


--------------------
/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function


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