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Dietrootbear
makes u think



Registered: 08/23/11
Posts: 724
Loc: Sheffield, UK
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Matte Haddock Chokes Mid-sentence [Re: Toe_Jam]
#18815663 - 09/08/13 03:41 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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With the UN Watching, Conductive Prego Sauce Causes Syrian Blackout By B. ADDISON SANGER, ANDREW W. LEHREN and BROOKE BOYARSKY
International efforts aside, Syria’s governing Assad family exploited condiment chaos to undergo what some sources allege to be covert ordnance stringings. Lax culinary skills fostered a resultant of thick podium falsities. Sans electric conditions propagated over night.
PICTONEWS: Arhmed Nohrisobi, left, sub-head-sous-chef of Assadland PartyPorkHouse, confirming Brooke Boyarsky's claims of hidden victual vindictiveness with a starch nod this Tuesday.
Harvard Business School Case Study: Step Equity By CAPRICE CANTOR
An aggressive program by protesting students to stir up equivocal step-height brought ankled improvements this Wednesday, but also resentment and uncertainty. Biology student Norman Pragmatism states that the steps have been "taller in some places and short as an invalid's hopes in others" for as long his drug-addled college neurons can remember, and that filed-away faceplant suits of embittered grandeur have been ignored for years. Noggin cracks and knee trampling disasters have been reported over 500 times in Harvard's last 3 year ovum cycle, and only recently are they garnering an offhand poster gaze. "It's not enough" says Pragmatism, but perhaps he's not poking the real ambiguities here, escalator deficits, for example.
PICTONEWS: Lorrie Reid, Harvard majority legislator, and Dienne Finestine, the chairwoman of the StairStep Renovation Committee, before a closed hearing in a linen closet on Friday.
Wolfman Struggles at Four Square By HAEN PANDLER and JONATHAN WISTMAN
Known in recess sessions across the country as blocxball, chimpsquare, king's corner, mortal-ringer, vital backflip, depp's high kick, and other young slang, the playground funtime game commonly called four square involves, you guessed it, four squares. But there's also a ball, and it's bounced about by child proto-paths with an undignified rage never before seen in the hearts of men. Torvis Tuffland is a 35 year old man who was born with Hypertrichosis, a genetic condition that bristled up his face quicker than an abandoned peach. No luck without folly though, 10 years in the rows of a sideshow department and now he's chosen the way of the Samaritan. He says teaching kids how to stay fit is one of his greatest pleasures, despite the gratuitous invectives they dispense at him ad nauseam. "You get used to it at first," he explains with shaky confidence, "what's worse is when my claws pierce the rubber, balloon ricochet follows. Then it all goes frivolous. One ginger child started seizing on the gravel and making a sound like a broken Victrola."
PICTONEWS: Park Slope, Brooklyn, Torvis grinning like a mutant bipedal lapdog with a PBS sense of humour, 5th grader retracting terror howls to the right. But you probably guessed his adjacency, didn't you? You poor sap, needing my damned help all the time.
Husband Pays Off Houseflies to Hide Truth About Affair By DAVID W. CHEN
Latvian entrepreneur Dorschel Føn transferred 13 million euro to a gang of specially bred Russian fruit flies if they agreed not to disclose footage of him engaging in a sexual liaison with his accountant, an intelligent application complete with Excel compatibility he had installed on his laptop. The flies, who have personally opted out of allowing their names in the media, grabbed startling photographs of Føn posturing starkly as to force his organ to conform with the curvatures of a USB port, run time errors following. When questioned as to how he felt about the whole matter he sobbed with quietude and compressed a rubber duckling catatonic-like.
PICTONEWS: The Stolichnaya production line at a factory in Riga, Latvia, where gay rights protesters are boycotting alcoholic drinks in the hopes of changing national policies. Here Føn's wife taped herself to a conveyor belt in an attempt at suicide last Tuesday. Propitiously her enveloped despair thickened the frame of her flesh well enough to prevent anything less than a superficial tearing.
Body Odors Congregate in Art District By ANDREW HIGGINS
Higgins goes in-depth and bereft among artly assailants of the conventional and subversive sweat-clots with paintings like a cicatrix, covering America's most creative metropolitan communities from the top to the greasy, cockroach gobbling bottom.
PICTONEWS: Decayed modernist trash-head paints stencils of dog cocks on bathroom walls and pickpockets people's billfolds just to hand them back as an allegorical statement about the nature of "Our political irreverence towards the quotidian fiscal confinement grind". Black nurse stitches his lips and lineaments back together, left.
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lets drive around
That kid with a stupid low Jetta



Registered: 07/25/13
Posts: 1,060
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Re: Matte Haddock Chokes Mid-sentence [Re: Dietrootbear]
#18815678 - 09/08/13 03:44 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Someone put tooth paste in my pisss hole. Fuckin A
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Matte Haddock Chokes Mid-sentence [Re: Dietrootbear]
#18815747 - 09/08/13 03:59 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
One ginger child started seizing on the gravel and making a sound like a broken Victrola."
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the mad machinest
Medicine Man



Registered: 04/18/13
Posts: 4,249
Loc: parallel universe #420
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Re: Matte Haddock Chokes Mid-sentence [Re: Konyap] 1
#18817902 - 09/09/13 05:58 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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the mad machinest
Medicine Man



Registered: 04/18/13
Posts: 4,249
Loc: parallel universe #420
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"I tried making a sexy poop video for my pinto beans and things got a Lil green and Fourty," she wrote that dumb servo on the video donkey."
Heller's twerking malfunction made retarded children cry less than a week after the famous zebra cake Miley Cyrus' complete mental breakdown an introduced much of the world to the fuck me i need attention dance move at the very milky MTV VMA MDA and LSD awards.
not kosher
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Sham87
mashAllah


Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 9,816
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dingle dangle dongle dengle dingly. Nod. NOD. NOD.
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   ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest places if you look at it right...
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Trippinhighman
kill the flux



Registered: 06/04/12
Posts: 1,078
Loc:
Last seen: 6 years, 28 days
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Re: Matte Haddock Chokes Mid-sentence [Re: Sham87]
#18818240 - 09/09/13 09:14 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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The greatest sacrifice is not of your life,
but of your mind.
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Toe_Jam
Bluefoot Bandit



Registered: 04/15/10
Posts: 3,693
Loc: Around some corner...
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I thought I knew what fear was; that I had known fear.
I was wrong.
This night I have experienced true fear.
The army of the dark is upon us and it has no end. They march shoulder to shoulder, for as far as the eye can see. The very Earth must be crying out from the damnable weight of them.
                   
                   
                   
                   
                   
                  
-------------------- God lay his finger at the Mouth of the Serpent March 1984   A pleasing land of drowsy head it was, Of dreams that wave before the half-shut eye, And of gay castles in the clouds that pass, For ever flushing round a summer sky. -Castle of Indolence
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the mad machinest
Medicine Man



Registered: 04/18/13
Posts: 4,249
Loc: parallel universe #420
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Re: Matte Haddock Chokes Mid-sentence [Re: Toe_Jam]
#18818851 - 09/09/13 01:06 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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slim bore and sandy Sloan I'm a seagull and it hurts when you litter.
nice men kindle fire rocks and forget your horrid symbols to give Bernard his clove
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Invisible_Woe

Registered: 05/25/07
Posts: 11,707
Loc: Mabase
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Three fingers on a swollen hand beside a dented garbage can.
-------------------- These are not the answers you should be questioning.
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Toe_Jam
Bluefoot Bandit



Registered: 04/15/10
Posts: 3,693
Loc: Around some corner...
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Re: Matte Haddock Chokes Mid-sentence [Re: Invisible_Woe]
#18819661 - 09/09/13 04:56 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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The Deciever shook angrily when he heard this, saying he would travel alone to warn Aleric of the impending danger, and ordered the rest of us to guard that dam, vowing that he would punish those who allowed it to fall....
...I asked one of the Black Robes why the Deciever must travel alone.
He replied, "The Deciever moves through odd angles, moving much faster than any man, and if unobserved, much faster than that."
-------------------- God lay his finger at the Mouth of the Serpent March 1984   A pleasing land of drowsy head it was, Of dreams that wave before the half-shut eye, And of gay castles in the clouds that pass, For ever flushing round a summer sky. -Castle of Indolence
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Sham87
mashAllah


Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 9,816
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Re: Matte Haddock Chokes Mid-sentence [Re: Toe_Jam]
#18819855 - 09/09/13 05:45 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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beep.
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   ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest places if you look at it right...
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Trippinhighman
kill the flux



Registered: 06/04/12
Posts: 1,078
Loc:
Last seen: 6 years, 28 days
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Re: Matte Haddock Chokes Mid-sentence [Re: Sham87]
#18820120 - 09/09/13 06:48 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I like the smell of my own nutsweat when I masturbate.
This isn't bullshit.
First chick I ever fucked turned into a fwb situation. She gave me head one time (didn't jizz in her mouth) and then we made out a little after that. I could taste my own stank on her and now I associate my stank with getting poon
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Invisible_Woe

Registered: 05/25/07
Posts: 11,707
Loc: Mabase
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A blind man staring at something only he can see.
-------------------- These are not the answers you should be questioning.
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Sham87
mashAllah


Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 9,816
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Boop.
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   ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest places if you look at it right...
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Toe_Jam
Bluefoot Bandit



Registered: 04/15/10
Posts: 3,693
Loc: Around some corner...
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Where is the god damn elevator? [Re: Sham87]
#18820175 - 09/09/13 06:57 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Stop drawing on the walls Earl.
-------------------- God lay his finger at the Mouth of the Serpent March 1984   A pleasing land of drowsy head it was, Of dreams that wave before the half-shut eye, And of gay castles in the clouds that pass, For ever flushing round a summer sky. -Castle of Indolence
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Invisible_Woe

Registered: 05/25/07
Posts: 11,707
Loc: Mabase
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Re: loli alcoholics is a funny idea. [Re: Toe_Jam]
#18820239 - 09/09/13 07:11 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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wax fiddely fiddela fiddely dio Sure your ona sure your ondelana Dodely di do fiddel wax juredelenadio And something about a picolo
-------------------- These are not the answers you should be questioning.
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Synthe
Gatorade me, bitch!



Registered: 11/10/12
Posts: 7,961
Loc: Three bags of Funyuns
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Re: loli alcoholics is a funny idea. [Re: Invisible_Woe]
#18820242 - 09/09/13 07:11 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Post Extras: Print Post Remind Me! Hide Post Notify Moderator Email Post PM User Ignore User Rate User Onlineaiyobro Maniac Wacko Unread Journal
Registered: 06/30/07 Posts: 12,867 Loc: Outer Space Last seen: 6 minutes, 14 seconds Re: Matte Haddock Chokes Mid-sentence [Re: Dietrootbear] + #18815747 - 09/08/13 05:59 PM (1 day, 3 hours ago) Reply to this postReply Reply to this postQuote Quick ReplyQuick Reply
Quote: One ginger child started seizing on the gravel and making a sound like a broken Victrola."
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Invisible_Woe

Registered: 05/25/07
Posts: 11,707
Loc: Mabase
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Re: loli alcoholics is a funny idea. [Re: Synthe]
#18820767 - 09/09/13 08:49 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Dear brother collect all the liquids off the floor
Use your oily fingers
make a paste let it form
-------------------- These are not the answers you should be questioning.
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Toe_Jam
Bluefoot Bandit



Registered: 04/15/10
Posts: 3,693
Loc: Around some corner...
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Good thing I still have those Super High Tops. [Re: Toe_Jam]
#18822177 - 09/10/13 06:31 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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On the other side of the Cloudspine they found the severed head of one Balor's enemies. Apparently, they've dug it up and somehow managed to start talking to the thing.
-------------------- God lay his finger at the Mouth of the Serpent March 1984   A pleasing land of drowsy head it was, Of dreams that wave before the half-shut eye, And of gay castles in the clouds that pass, For ever flushing round a summer sky. -Castle of Indolence
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