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DeadPhan


Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 5,260
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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THe Intervention Show...
#7846153 - 01/07/08 10:23 PM (16 years, 25 days ago) |
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shit wheres mine nah...its funny tho this girl is a total wastecase....just like me my mom has video taped me before in such a state but ive never wanted to see it after seeing this chick and realizing how i proly fall over 20 times as her, im almost ready to watch them to see if i realy am that bad altho, i should regardless, itd be quite a dose of reality....and im just as well not ready to quit i could be if i had a place to stay but at the moment im on the streets or couch surfing its a long story....i cant even go to rehabs cause of my warrants its like...i realy have very many less resources as most to get clean as much as ive always wanted to do it on my own....i dont know if i can between my will, addiction, and just all in all comfort zone when im out on the street.....it can be so boring....alcohol helps me get through the night if i had a warm place where i can be comfortable and read a book or chill online readin up on things, even veg out and watch a fucking movie i think id be able to ahhh...im so sick of it....buti try to quitall the time....with only maybe a week at most of luck and before i know it.....i hav ea drink and im in headfirst for months at a time after blah....getin old never thought it would get to this point i realy use to have so much fun with it it was almost like tripping im sure some of u can understand that everynight was an adventure id throw on my headphones and grab an 18 pack, go into the woods, start a fire, even if bymyself and just have a wonderful time i truly believe u can have insights on alcohol but over time ive found im just not at that point anymore and its also nice going out around town and to the bars and stuff i get into crazy awesome and some not so awesome but interesteing converstations and experiences just the same but....im 26 years old...its starting to catch up if u knew how much i drank ud understand its soo funy how how u feel affects everything it seems like the people around me only accept me when i feel good which is only with alcohol for the most part when i dont feel good....im very unaproachable.....and i feel like my friends and family almost like think im being egocentric or full of myself when im depressed i just judge myself to death and their faces arent the way they are when im feeling good on alcohol but....then, that good feeling on alcohol more often then not eventualy turns into belligerance and stupid shit happens but ahhhhh its so hard to explain just geitn my mood in order is such a fucking bitch i wana be consistent with my mood
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Big Gulps! Alright! Well, See ya later! And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: THe Intervention Show... [Re: DeadPhan]
#7846187 - 01/07/08 10:33 PM (16 years, 25 days ago) |
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Take some acid and sort out your thoughts.
Whatever you do, good luck.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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Dobie
Dopeless Hopefiend


Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 52,841
Loc: ON DA BLOCK
Last seen: 5 months, 30 days
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Re: THe Intervention Show... [Re: DeadPhan]
#7846240 - 01/07/08 10:44 PM (16 years, 25 days ago) |
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Life gets better bro trust me
BTW intervention rocks I watch it and it makes me never wanna be such a peice of shit ever again. I got a bunch recorded on my DVR
-------------------- This place is gayer than when the balls touch
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DeadPhan


Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 5,260
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: THe Intervention Show... [Re: g00ru]
#7846343 - 01/07/08 11:02 PM (16 years, 25 days ago) |
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bro ive taken my share of L trust me.....ur talkin to Grateful Dead Family here my friend..... i appreciate ur gesture in ur sugestion to help....but yea......that wouldnt help me at the moment trust me, ive been around the block bro proly taken over 2000 doses if it means anything or not but, why not just as well say, eat an eighth of mushrooms and sort my shit out....or smoke a 10th of dmt and sort my shit out i have access to all like woah i realy need to get sober period dont think i still dont enjoy my psychedelics just sayin those are for when i get my shit together myself or however i do it .....i have considered it tho but , ive tried that method in the past and realy doesnt help....but.....yea.....maybe u can feel me now
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Big Gulps! Alright! Well, See ya later! And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman



Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: THe Intervention Show... [Re: DeadPhan]
#7846407 - 01/07/08 11:18 PM (16 years, 25 days ago) |
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the booze beast is a tuff bitch to domesticate.
thats whyi stand cear of it all together.
people tend to think that phyches are the end all beat all cure all they are not your brain does that.
stop drinking dude. flat out, cold turkey. i know its gonna be damn hard.
i know we all want to be social (well i dont) or the life of the party
infact i hate partying and talking to people. but when i take mushrooms (my buzz of choice) i am inevitably witty, quick and social. its not like i plan to be. it just happens.
dont pine for what you once had. im shure you know alot about accepting the boat your in. its ruff but you just gotta keep paddeling
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman



Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: THe Intervention Show... [Re: notapillow]
#7846414 - 01/07/08 11:20 PM (16 years, 25 days ago) |
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and by the by dude. you seem to think your thougghts are not gettign across. or maybe you are just not forming them on the page how they appere in your head but i can assure you brother. we feel you we know how it is its ruff
 nothing left to do but...
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey




Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,962
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 5 months, 10 days
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Re: THe Intervention Show... [Re: notapillow]
#7846478 - 01/07/08 11:32 PM (16 years, 25 days ago) |
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Hey deadphan, I would suggest you check out the forums on soberrecovery.com. Read about the psyiological characteristics of this progressive disease that you have. I myself am an alcoholic and have only recently been able to be honest with myself in accepting the fact that I don't have any power over booze, once I drink one its all over back to square 1 again your lowest of lows but even lower this time untill death, jail, etc gets you. Also if your warrants aren't to serious just turn yourself in get clean and get it off your record they offer programs in jails for addicts.
I find it funny that you got the eat some acid response because I have gotten the same on these boards, but I believe for alcoholism and people suffering from post acute withdrawl syndrome complete abstinance and time is the only way to heal. You may need to also try working the steps if you don't find any relief with abstinance alone.
-------------------- -QuantumMeltdown Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself. -Mark Twain "The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome Be lonesome and you will be free Live a lie and you will live to regret it That's what livin' is to me That's what livin' is to me" Jimmy Buffett
Edited by QuantumMeltdown (01/07/08 11:37 PM)
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