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OfflinePoppygod
EarlyBird
Male

Registered: 05/15/07
Posts: 411
Loc: All-asska
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Drug tests
    #7843462 - 01/07/08 01:04 PM (16 years, 25 days ago)

Any suggestions on beating probation drug tests? Thanks .!


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Offlinerobbyberto
Water Boy
Male User Gallery

Registered: 05/11/06
Posts: 15,499
Loc: Netherlands Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 4 days
Re: Drug tests [Re: Poppygod]
    #7843484 - 01/07/08 01:10 PM (16 years, 25 days ago)

Don't do drugs that they test for. It's not worth it.


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“People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn’t necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.” -Karl Pilkington



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OfflinePlok
Life is fractal
Male

Registered: 09/08/04
Posts: 1,152
Loc: Los Angeles
Last seen: 2 months, 7 days
Re: Drug tests [Re: Poppygod]
    #7843485 - 01/07/08 01:10 PM (16 years, 25 days ago)

Yeah, check the search engine. There are like 1000 of these threads.


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Just say NO to the War on Drugs.


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Offlineallreadyused
The Liquor
Male


Registered: 09/10/07
Posts: 480
Loc: Trailer Park, Nova Scotia
Last seen: 8 years, 23 days
Re: Drug tests [Re: Poppygod]
    #7854499 - 01/09/08 03:58 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

If it wasn't a test for probation I would say fake piss. But you'll most likely be watched while you provide a sample so that's no good. You may be able to get away with using the whizzinator. But I wouldn't chance it. http://www.whizzinator.com/index.html

My advice would be to not use drugs while there is a chance you'll get piss tested. A few month without drugs at home is better than a few months without drugs in prison.


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Everything I say is for entertainment.

Fuck the ASPCA


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Offlineemrandel
Love iS freeD


Registered: 03/03/07
Posts: 94
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
Re: Drug tests [Re: allreadyused]
    #7855148 - 01/09/08 06:07 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

The place I go to watches out for whizzinators. They've busted countless kids with them. The guy who supervises always tells me he can tell the difference between rubber and skin.

Just go clean. If you can't go clean, you have to recognize you have a problem. It's a pleasant change, it'll take up to 6 weeks to rebalance your seratonin levels but it's a good thing once in a while. Not to mention you can still eat mushrooms and drop acid. And I guess you can use nitrous too. Not to mention alcohol.

You'll be fine, I've been on about half a dozen various probations in different counties. You just gotta buckle down and get through it.


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"No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, green and love of power!" - P.J. O'Rourke


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
Not here
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
Re: Drug tests [Re: emrandel]
    #7857914 - 01/10/08 07:14 AM (16 years, 22 days ago)

Quote:

emrandel said:
The place I go to watches out for whizzinators. They've busted countless kids with them. The guy who supervises always tells me he can tell the difference between rubber and skin.






Do they actually look at your cock while you piss?


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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Invisiblefastfred
Old Hand
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/17/04
Posts: 6,899
Loc: Dark side of the moon
Re: Drug tests [Re: emrandel]
    #7858124 - 01/10/08 08:27 AM (16 years, 22 days ago)

Quote:

emrandel said:
The place I go to watches out for whizzinators. They've busted countless kids with them.




That's just that sick pedophile's excuse for grabbing kids cocks.

I bet he also says that the only way to tell for sure is to stroke it and see if it ejaculates.


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OfflineChemy
Jesus is Lord

Registered: 10/05/07
Posts: 6,276
Loc: A Church
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
Re: Drug tests *DELETED* [Re: emrandel]
    #7858444 - 01/10/08 10:05 AM (16 years, 22 days ago)

Post deleted by Chemy

Reason for deletion: If you are sure you want to do this, click the button below. Yes, I want to delete this post.



--------------------
Alcoholics Anonymous

Narcotics Anonymous

Get help, help is free and available 24/7/365.

God bless you all and I hope you receive the help you need to turn away from your lives of sin.

Mushrooms and drugs make you gay, you can reverse this homosexual condition with rehab, get help! Stop being gay!


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Offlineallreadyused
The Liquor
Male


Registered: 09/10/07
Posts: 480
Loc: Trailer Park, Nova Scotia
Last seen: 8 years, 23 days
Re: Drug tests [Re: Chemy]
    #7860284 - 01/10/08 03:53 PM (16 years, 22 days ago)

Quote:

The place I go to watches out for whizzinators. They've busted countless kids with them. The guy who supervises always tells me he can tell the difference between rubber and skin.



That's why I said don't take the chance, go clean. Just in case you thought your job sucks... Imagine your job is to look dudes cocks all day and watch them piss.

Quote:

Do they actually look at your cock while you piss?



For a probation test, yes. Not for employment tests though; law requires the employer to give you at least some privacy.

Quote:

What kind of a bitch gets paid to look at dicks all day.
What does that bitch tell his wife or kids when he gets home after work?



What kind of bitch? Probation Officers most likely a a borderline homosexual.
What does he say? Not sure, but I'll bet he's full of himself thinking he's doing a good thing for society.


Here's what I wonder... What if the dude he's watching has a cock that's much bigger than his? Does he get jealous and act like more of a prick to the dude?


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Everything I say is for entertainment.

Fuck the ASPCA


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OfflineSeussA
Error: divide byzero


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 23,480
Loc: Caribbean
Last seen: 2 months, 20 days
Re: Drug tests [Re: allreadyused]
    #7863545 - 01/11/08 03:30 AM (16 years, 21 days ago)

Quote:

That's why I said don't take the chance, go clean. Just in case you thought your job sucks... Imagine your job is to look dudes cocks all day and watch them piss.




Even more frightening... imagine the kind of person that would take such a job.


--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
Not here
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
Re: Drug tests [Re: Seuss]
    #7863834 - 01/11/08 07:00 AM (16 years, 21 days ago)

HELP WANTED

Experienced cock-lookers

Flexible hours
Competitive wages
No criminal record check


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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Offlineclover606
Stranger
Male
Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 656
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: Drug tests [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #7866430 - 01/11/08 06:54 PM (16 years, 21 days ago)

wow that sucks for you guys my POs dont look at my dick when i fill up the cup, if they tried id flip.


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grassman said:

I remember being in DARE when i was much younger and some of the stories they would tell you are not only ridiculous, but completely untrue. One story was that a woman was on LSD and thought her infant was a turkey so she baked it in the oven. Now I look back and think thats hilarious, but at the time I guess it scared me.


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Invisiblejohnm214
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Registered: 05/31/07
Posts: 17,582
Loc: Americas
Re: Drug tests [Re: clover606]
    #7866459 - 01/11/08 07:14 PM (16 years, 21 days ago)

well thats just cuz you're so hardcore


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OfflineMolasses
sobriety with aside of what thefuck am i doing?
Male


Registered: 11/03/07
Posts: 564
Loc: Marijuanaville, Vermont
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: Drug tests [Re: johnm214]
    #7867309 - 01/11/08 11:14 PM (16 years, 21 days ago)

i'd rub it softly while i pissed just to get him all hot and bothered, hahahaha


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Invisiblefastfred
Old Hand
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/17/04
Posts: 6,899
Loc: Dark side of the moon
Re: Drug tests [Re: Molasses]
    #7868361 - 01/12/08 08:47 AM (16 years, 20 days ago)

Just go in there and start jacking off. Tell him you have to get rid of your erection before you can give him a sample.


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Invisiblespock
journeyman
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 1,165
Re: Drug tests [Re: fastfred]
    #7868734 - 01/12/08 11:30 AM (16 years, 20 days ago)

vitamins and lots of water.
i had randoms for 14 months once a week. i fucked up twice though.


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