|
Some of these posts are very old and might contain outdated information. You may wish to search for newer posts instead.
|
Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
|
Social Awkwardness take II
#7835046 - 01/05/08 11:01 AM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
I made a post about social awkwardness a few weeks ago, that was about the awkwardness during a trip.
This thread is about awkwardness in every day life.
It seems to me that the more I do LSD, mushrooms, and things of the like, I seem to not give a damn what other people think about me other than people I am good friends with. I no longer hold much value in going out, and meeting new people.
Not because I don't want to meet new people, but because human social interaction is shallow, fake, and I can't participate in it seriously anymore. My eyes have been opened to the pure fakeness of it. Or at least I believe it is really fake.
Smalltalk. Nothing has been deemed by me to be more useless, or more gossipy than smalltalk. I can't stand it. It's just there to give an excuse for some one to talk to some one else, when they have real reason to talk to them.
Whenever people come up to me, they say 'Hey dude, whats up?'. Of course they are expecting me to say 'nothing', so they can go on with what they are about to say or ask that is the real reason they want to talk to me.
The only people that ask me how I'm doing, or whats up and mean it are my friends. They ask it sincerely.
Again, I would like to go out and meet new people, but I can't do it anymore. I want to, but I feel so awkward if I try to mask what I'm feeling about smalltalk, or not enjoying the conversation I'm engaged in.
I talked to my friend about this already, and it only made me more confused. Any input?
Edit: I just reread this post, and it sounds a whole lot more negative than I am actually feeling. It just came out that way.
--------------------
 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
Edited by Drewwyann (01/05/08 11:04 AM)
|
MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Drewwyann]
#7835075 - 01/05/08 11:10 AM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Any input?
Yes. Start telling everybody, when they ask you, what you ACTUALLY do, not what they "expect".  I mean, you yourself said that you don't care anymore what other people think, right? So, why do act like you do? It's not healthy to cultivate this attitude. And this comes from someone who doesn't really like to be a social person. But it's one to be more in your own world, and something entirely different to complain and see flaws in people.
--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
|
mecreateme
YoUisMEEMsiUoY


Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 2,727
Loc: Memphrica
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Drewwyann]
#7835083 - 01/05/08 11:12 AM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
Sounds like you need an over the top trip that will make you appreciate the small things in life, like little bits of smalltalk. I used to be the same way you say you feel, but I have oriented myself in a different direction. You are taking socialism and communication too seriously, sometimes I communicate just for the sake of communicating, not because I want something or I want to get some information from someone.
-------------------- No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT. You are everything's way of feeling itself. Happy Schwag, everygodly!
|
appleorange
Rainbow Technician



Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 4,868
Loc: Reykjavík
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7835085 - 01/05/08 11:12 AM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
I don't think smalltalk is fake or shallow, it's just a way of connecting with people on a simple level.
|
Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: MushroomTrip]
#7835098 - 01/05/08 11:16 AM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
Thanks Dr Teasy Thighs (thats fun to say).
That helped a lot. 
Edit: your avatar is adorable.
--------------------
 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
Edited by Drewwyann (01/05/08 11:18 AM)
|
Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: appleorange]
#7835102 - 01/05/08 11:17 AM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
appleorange said: I don't think smalltalk is fake or shallow, it's just a way of connecting with people on a simple level.
The way I see it, it's a way to connect to some one in a superficial way. Smalltalk is composed of things that are more of less meaningless to me. Why engage in it, unless you want to climb up the social ladder?
--------------------
 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
|
appleorange
Rainbow Technician



Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 4,868
Loc: Reykjavík
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Drewwyann]
#7835118 - 01/05/08 11:21 AM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
social ladder?
i don't think bullshitting with people really has any kind of agenda concerned with climbing some kind of social hierarchy.
if everyone actually said what was on their mind or just ignored people when they felt like it, I think the world would be a much more lonely place.
|
MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Drewwyann]
#7835131 - 01/05/08 11:25 AM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
I'm glad I could help!  Psychedelics cam be very confusing at times and it takes time for out mind to adjust and integrate everything we get from them. It is your case too, so relax and be more patient with yourself and with others.
And those are two red pandas... kissing
--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
|
Ell Ess Bree
reppin state tostate, wat uneed?

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 914
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Drewwyann]
#7835132 - 01/05/08 11:25 AM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
Man... I felt exactly the same at one point, and still do to a degree. But here's what you do.
Ignore them.
Or, say whatever your mind-machine comes up with in response to what they just said. They're giving you input, they're sorry their input isn't that good, but they don't think like you do, atleast just not yet.
You can outright be mean, if you really don't care, and that'll be fun for a little while, but it gets shitty 'cause people don't talk to you.
Have fun with them, man! They clearly show you the levels they're working with, and you claim to be able to see around them, so fucking... Dood. Play with them in their small levels with your bigger idea's floating around outside for them to catch on to, or just straight up dance around their arenas.
I mean, if they can only see this far, and you can see just beyond that, you can do things in the just beyond that will make absolute sense to you because you can see them, if they can't see into the just beyond, it's not going to make any sense and they'll get all confused and fucking... people do funny shit when they're confused.
YOU are in control when they are confused. YOU know what's going, they don't.
You can.... essentially use this against people.
Or just have fun with them.
So you're not bored.
And pissed off about their dumb shit.
Make sense?
|
Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: appleorange]
#7835149 - 01/05/08 11:29 AM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
I wouldn't ignore people, Ell Ess Bree. I don't want to put negativity into the world more than I have to.
Imagine there is a social mask that people wear, and I am underneath a mask.
My mask it growing holes in it, and it is becoming more apparent to people I am talking to. And I don't see much point in repairing that mask.
Maybe not the best analogy, but thats essentially my feeling.
--------------------
 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
Edited by Drewwyann (01/05/08 11:31 AM)
|
MindGorilla
Stranger



Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 285
Loc: Detroit
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Drewwyann]
#7835154 - 01/05/08 11:29 AM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
You literally took my feelings and typed them.
Up until New Years I had quit drinking for about 5-6 months. I felt/feel exactly how you do and I found that alcohol was just another means to an end.
But exactly like you said, shrooms started changing me in a way that I couldn't stop.
Being social and going to parties is truly one big popularity contest, and the problem with mushrooms, ( not so much a problem ) is that they take you above that.
I don't mean to be conceded, but I'm a pretty popular person in my area.(Trust me I don't act like that) And one thing that I've always noticed is that I can get away and do a lot more then someone not as "popular" as me. There has been many of times when I say something that really isn't that funny, but if it comes from me it is. Or the simple fact that I can take advantage of situation with girls because of who I am and where I stand in my group of friends.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that no one looks at each other for who they really are, they look at them as where they stand in the "social ladder". Which goes back to everything being fake.
I think the fact that I can be so popular with the guys and gals is simply because I'm "real" and I think someone that is just mediocre but real will always be better then someone awesome and fake. Isn't it a funny game that we play.
|
Ell Ess Bree
reppin state tostate, wat uneed?

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 914
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: MindGorilla]
#7835181 - 01/05/08 11:39 AM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
Man I already know what you're feeling, I told you to ignore them OR...
read that over again. If you don't want to ignore them, do the other part.
Fucking just take the mask off and get it over with.
You are what you are, and you're becoming what you're becoming.
Trying to hide it is what makes it awkward for you. The people around you obviously have no problems being the little things they are. Why should you have a problem being the big thing you're becoming?
Sometimes there is a lot of positive hidden behind a little negativity. A tetanus shot hurts like a fucking cunt, but hey, YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE. Get what I'm saying?
Take control of what's happening before it gets out of control.
Getting back in control once it's spun wildly around for however long you let it IS NOT AN EASY THING TO DO.
You said yourself the mask is still just coming off.
It's going to come off.
Get on it!
|
origami.octopus
Mycoporn fanaticin training


Registered: 11/17/07
Posts: 256
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Ell Ess Bree]
#7837286 - 01/05/08 09:15 PM (16 years, 27 days ago) |
|
|
Take what i say with a grain of salt. I dont claim to be any wiser than anyone else. (op)
I really want to say that i'm proud of you. I've felt the exact same things. Your not alone with this.
There are hundreds of fake people, many of which will never grow mentally or spiritually past eating the bullshit fed to them every day. you are what you eat after all. 
however, they are just at another place in their lives. Wish them the best, and some times drop a few hints to help them along to the next step of learning. Dont force anything. It will do them no good to have it forced.
Lsd, and psychedelics have the powerful potential to make you see things in a new light. To break social patterns, and change who you are as a person. Remember that. Take what you are seeing and learn from it. Use it to be more true to your self.
It might not be easy, but there are real people out there. that are not fakers and who wont indulge in all that bullshit. look for them. Were here for you.
-------------------- I like to look at mushrooms the way most people like to look at flowers. this is an amazing game http://www.kongregate.com/games/customlogic/sprout
|
RonaldFuckingPaul
Our Dear Leader



Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 13,617
Loc: Straight Outta Compton
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
|
|
You're not alone broham You're not gonna go back to the way you were before psychedelics so don't long for that. Plus the way you are now is better than before..you're just a tad bit more spiritually evolved than most..be yourself and free yourself:) And just try to be a positive force in the world instead of a negative one. What good has negativity done for our world? Even if it's pointless small talk, stay positive broham
--------------------
|
ElBandito
Stranger

Registered: 07/31/07
Posts: 31
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
|
|
Funny, I feel pretty much exactly opposite what you're feeling, Drewwyann. I cherish the "true" small talk. When somebody comes up to you just to say "Hey, what's up?" On a small scale, it shows they care. I put the word true in quotes because I feel like what you described isn't really small talk. I picture small talk being seemingly pointless exchanges between people, where your "bullshit" I picture being more one sided, and not really a conversation, as if one of the people is pushing something on the other. That is something to frown upon.
Going out and meeting new people, assholes and all, just goes to prove the value of the people worth knowing. Meet 500 jerks and 1 awesome friend? Great! You can always go out and interact and filter out the ones that are trash, but you can't shell yourself up and suddenly get tons of awesome friends.
Not really agreeing or disagreeing, more just giving my take on things.
|
Ell Ess Bree
reppin state tostate, wat uneed?

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 914
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: ElBandito]
#7838303 - 01/06/08 06:22 AM (16 years, 26 days ago) |
|
|
OR YOU CAN SAVE YOURSELF THE TIME OF MEETING PEOPLE AND STAY INSIDE AND DO ALL OF YOUR SCIENCE AND MATH!!!!!!!!!
AND WHEN YOU GET DONE, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT ANYTHING YOU COULD POTENTIALLY LEARN FROM ANY OF THE SWEET PEOPLE YOU'D MEET ON YOUR OWN.
Which is an astonishing thing to figure, I might say!
SCIENCE AND MATH! NOW SMOKE!
|
manyc
♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫


Registered: 01/03/04
Posts: 571
Loc: Axis Mundi
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Drewwyann]
#7838322 - 01/06/08 06:34 AM (16 years, 26 days ago) |
|
|
I know how you feel. Though my avoidant behavior is fueled by a disliking for cliques and posses and the limelight, it's also got roots in my general anxiety. Social situations, with STRANGERS mind you, are stressful as fuck for me.
I'm slowly learning to open my compassionate side a little more though, so I can enjoy life. There's no point holing up inside of your head.
--------------------
Hemp could Save the World. "There is no flag that is large enough, to hide the shame of a man in cuffs." -Serj Tankian Know Thyself. "If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness' don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on." -Terence Mckenna
|
Proskier
Stranger


Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 104
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: manyc]
#7838438 - 01/06/08 08:15 AM (16 years, 26 days ago) |
|
|
i have also felt this way for quite a while now. i too hate small talk. it feels like a waste of my time and there are better things i could be doing. since i dont enjoy small talk i usually dont listen or pay attention and so sometimes from time to time, i would miss something real. something of substance or relavance.
the conclusion i came to way that i have to be social. small talk can lead to some real friends, and it will suprise you because you werent expecting to make friends in these situations.
id say i lean to Elbandito's point of view.
|
nookjohn
Nooker



Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 1,560
Loc: Dancin' in the street
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Drewwyann]
#7838480 - 01/06/08 08:49 AM (16 years, 26 days ago) |
|
|
Recreational drugs and especially psychedelics and MDMA but including the community have helped guide me down the path of ditching unneeded anxiety and other emotional states that serve to divide us.
Consider the television advertisements that were created to convince all viewers that they have social anxiety disorder, depression, or whatever mental health condition the drug they're pushing purports to cure. Psychedelics have wiped that all away and now I just relate to people. I don't care what your social position or income level is. We all look the same naked.
Rarely, I get the kind of anxiety I used to experience every day as a child. But that's because I just got way too stoned.
Edited by nookjohn (01/06/08 08:50 AM)
|
zubi420
Stranger
Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 65
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: nookjohn]
#7868730 - 01/12/08 11:29 AM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
|
|
everything people say usually has a purpose. Otherwise it wouldnt be said. Unless they have tourette's or some shit lol.
|
Apollyphelion
Dungeon Master/Princess(1009)


Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 16,757
Loc: Festival of Deaths
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: zubi420]
#7868733 - 01/12/08 11:30 AM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
|
|
I have tourettes (although not extreme)
I made it have a purpose. I HAD to fit it in.
--------------------
"I'm looking at you looking at it" SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book
|
Ell Ess Bree
reppin state tostate, wat uneed?

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 914
|
|
Everyone fits in.
How can you not if you're a part of everything? Even nothing is a part of all of it.
You don't really get to choose.
|
Amber_Glow
Sat Chit Anand


Registered: 09/02/02
Posts: 1,543
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Drewwyann]
#7869271 - 01/12/08 02:32 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
|
|
Look behind what small talk is. Look at the actual meaning. The most basic meaning. When someone is talking to you, it isn't just words, it is feeling, and the desire for a connection. It's not just, hey what's up, how about the weather today, boy my car needs more washer fluid, did you see that new movie out, etc. it is also communicating that 'I like you', 'I want to interact with you', 'Let's be friends', etc. Maybe if we all just hugged and cuddled and tickled each other when we met this would be more apparent but unfortunately humans do all this "talking" business and it really starts to hide what is actually going on.
|
DeathCompany
Oneironaut



Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 12,662
Loc: Somewhere in my head
Last seen: 9 months, 29 days
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Drewwyann]
#7869335 - 01/12/08 02:54 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
|
|
I'm in the same situation, social norms make me want to vomit. I cant hold a conversation with an acquaintance without thinking how stupid humans act the entire time. I tend to lean more towards humor in the matter rather than negativity though.
--------------------
|
Caribou_Lou
Stranger


Registered: 10/17/07
Posts: 2,510
Loc: Never Land
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Drewwyann]
#7869348 - 01/12/08 02:57 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Drewwyann said:
Not because I don't want to meet new people, but because human social interaction is shallow, fake, and I can't participate in it seriously anymore. My eyes have been opened to the pure fakeness of it. Or at least I believe it is really fake.
I realized this way before I ever took drugs, and once I got into heavily smoking and tripping it totally reinforced my thoughts. Everybody seems so fake to me, even most of my friends. It's just so fucking stupid how people act the way they do because they think that it's socially acceptable. I feel like very few people in my life are on my level, or even close at all. Thinking about shit like this even makes me feel nauseas.
|
fazdazzle
Wanderer


Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 1,796
Last seen: 11 years, 27 days
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Ell Ess Bree]
#7869372 - 01/12/08 03:03 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Ell Ess Bree said: Man... I felt exactly the same at one point, and still do to a degree. But here's what you do.
Ignore them.
Or, say whatever your mind-machine comes up with in response to what they just said. They're giving you input, they're sorry their input isn't that good, but they don't think like you do, atleast just not yet.
You can outright be mean, if you really don't care, and that'll be fun for a little while, but it gets shitty 'cause people don't talk to you.
Have fun with them, man! They clearly show you the levels they're working with, and you claim to be able to see around them, so fucking... Dood. Play with them in their small levels with your bigger idea's floating around outside for them to catch on to, or just straight up dance around their arenas.
I mean, if they can only see this far, and you can see just beyond that, you can do things in the just beyond that will make absolute sense to you because you can see them, if they can't see into the just beyond, it's not going to make any sense and they'll get all confused and fucking... people do funny shit when they're confused.
YOU are in control when they are confused. YOU know what's going, they don't.
You can.... essentially use this against people.
Or just have fun with them.
So you're not bored.
And pissed off about their dumb shit.
Make sense?
That's the truth.
I used to think the same thing...small talk blows it's pointless, bullshitting is dumb, etc, etc. Then I realized it's pretty sweet just to interact with people. I don't care how fake they're being as long as it doesn't make me fake.
I usually just dance around them like Ell Ess Bree said to do, which confuses them...it's entertaining as hell! and you'll fish out the real people, because they will respond in kind. I don't even mean it's entertaining in a condescending way, since I'm not manipulating them or judging these folks, I'm just saying what I want in response to what they said, no matter how it comes across.
If I am interacting with some truly shallow people I normally just make a game out of it until they get pissed and leave lol
As the other poster said, if there wasn't this interaction the world would be a lonely place.
I've realized lately that human interaction is a beautiful thing, nothing to be classified or painted different colors...just go with it.
|
redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,532
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: fazdazzle]
#7869514 - 01/12/08 03:46 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
|
|
here is my brain dump:
I spent the whole day setting up a cheap wireless router with security, 5 complete installations and removals and reconfigurations, each a different way, and during this time I was so out of synch with my wife and the people around me that they really could not bear to be near me.
OUT OF SYNCH. IMPATIENT, ALL RELATIONS UNSATISFACTORY, NONE OF THE MASKS IN REPERTOIRE WERE SUITABLE.
it relates because I am 1 week from acid and was deeply into salvia earlier in the day. it relates because there is a part of self, the expressive part, which is 99% reflex and 1% interest, and all those reflexes or masks are good but might not be a good fit for what i am up to at the moment.
I guess I could work on making my tech fuckup service persona more congenial, but the risk was that it might slow down the process - excuses!
realistically I was just too bowled over by how badly the wifi router installation was going.
and while that was important, I was out of synch with everything else, i.e. I could cue up no masks that would serve both needs, social and intellectual.
yep life can be hard when you run a free ranging life. and lots of psychedelic make you a real free range bird.
also I really must add, that the most significant psychedelic insights seem nearly inaccessible when the mind is not so enhanced, however, I am pretty certain that the wide sweeping resonant moments of psychedelic experience help highlight how habits can interfere with free ranging yet habits also form the framework of experience.
it really takes delicacy to manage along the way, and often a good deal of charisma to make up for the (social) errors that are nearly unavoidable.
--------------------
_ 🧠 _
|
Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate



Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 3 days, 17 hours
|
|
Sounds like you need to chill and go with the flow.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
|
Justice_Fish
Fustice_Jish



Registered: 01/06/07
Posts: 2,652
Loc: CebèuQ
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: zubi420]
#7870996 - 01/12/08 09:16 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
|
|
I have the same feeling. And I don't hate it. It helps me find the true people out there.
|
PoisonedV
Fuming Shrooming




Registered: 09/13/07
Posts: 398
Loc: Hell
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: zubi420]
#7871014 - 01/12/08 09:21 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
|
|
Hey, drew, hows it going?
-------------------- Lazy...
|
Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!



Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
|
Re: Social Awkwardness take II [Re: Justice_Fish]
#7871029 - 01/12/08 09:25 PM (16 years, 20 days ago) |
|
|
There's nothing wrong with little social niceties. Smalltalk may seem like bullshit but it's integral in getting to know a stranger. There's nothing inherently fake or stupid about it, it's just a matter of fitting yourself and your information into an enormous, multifaceted system of human interaction. If you're happy not meeting anybody new, well, that's your prerogative, and you may have to deal with some unpleasant consequences in the long run.
Personally, acid has helped me put said little social niceties in perspective: I know what it's worth now, which is an opening to talk to somebody new; there is little in the way of "success" or "failure," so there's no pressure to act more awesome or interesting or special than you really are. If it's awkward, it's not somebody you should bother talking to. If you hit it off and have a great conversation, you may have just met a new friend. In short I'm much more comfortable with stuff like smalltalk. I myself enjoy meeting new people, especially females.
TeasyThighs was right, namely that you shouldn't just give the answers you think people expect. That's not smalltalk, that's just getting someone off your back. If you want to engage and meet somebody, actually put some thought into your answers, and be honest about yourself. Always remember to be yourself, because naturally you'll suck at trying to be anyone else and it'll show. You should never truly need to wear a "mask;" this is a metaphor for the ego that does not always apply.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
Edited by Tchan909 (01/12/08 09:33 PM)
|
|