I've done shrooms three times at this point, and I've got a very nice collection of Thai and Golden Teacher in my dorm waiting to be eaten. But my first time was definitely the best.
I got invited by a friend a few months in advance for a real "shroom party". The girl hosting the party, L., had decorated her entire house in varying themes. The attic was a zen place with beanbags and pillows, ambient music, moving stars on the ceiling, glowsticks, a bong, everything. The bathroom was black and white with mirrors everywhere and a fucking stroboscope. The hallways, the stairs, the living room, the garden, everything had glow-in-the-dark stuff lying around, and lava lamps, glowing hearts, etc.
There were four people tripping and two sitters including L. We spent a few hours in advance discussing what was going to happen, reading some books on the subject, and playing REZ. The weather was nice and the entire house just seemed so friendly. We ate the shrooms (Mexican) around 10pm.
At first, it felt just like getting high, feeling my arms sort of push through my body. When I'm high I always feel like I can reach through my stomach and grab my spine with both hands. Then I noticed my mouth getting larger, and I felt a bit nauseous, but I didn't let it bother me.
The images from REZ were becoming very vivid. I spent a long time staring at a pillow, making friends with the patterns, and suddenly realized I was remembering things from my very early childhood that I'd completely forgotten about. All the usual memory barriers, and feelings of shame, of guilt, were gone. About an hour after eating the shrooms I'd resolved most of my early childhood's problems. I started categorizing: "This happened. Can I do something about it? Yes. Then I will. This happened. Can I do something about it? No. Then I'll let it go." Once that was done I noticed the plasma TV set again and we decided to watch Hair. It was incredibly entertaining for two of the others, but I'd already seen the movie too many times to get something new out of it... I heard every instrument separately, which was distracting, so I wandered outside.
My friend was there with her head stuck in a tree, completely transfixed, and one of the sitters was smiling at me. I wanted to make some kind of sarcastic remark but decided I should be nice. Then, as though it was the most logical thing in the world, I decided to be nice forever.
I went upstairs to the attic, where some of the others had already gathered. I felt it was very important to ask if I could sit with them. They welcomed me, which felt wonderful. Eventually my friend came to sit with us as well, and we pretty much spent the rest of the trip all cuddling, playing with glowsticks, and watching the ceiling. I have very strong synesthesia when I'm sober, and the shrooms enhanced it, completely blending all my senses. I saw wonderful images, and could control all of them. Our sitters had at this point decided to get high. I loved watching their bong smoke rise up to the ceiling.
Once everyone was sobered up again, what seemed like days later, we sat around a table and had very emotional, very personal conversations for a while. I ended up crawling into bed with my friend and her partner, and we fell asleep all cuddled up.
It was the most relaxing trip I've had so far. I felt it's given me an amount of insight I could not possibly have achieved without drugs. I feel more emotionally "healed" after tripping than after years of psychotherapy, and everything that was making my life miserable - compulsions, traumas, etc. - seemed just gone. It's hard to be compulsive when you realize nothing at all matters. I'm convinced shrooms will eventually help me solve every emotional problem I could possibly have. And apart from that, it's fun, it's relaxing, it's inspiring.
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