Ok this is some heavy stuff. Please I am looking for opinions on the solution to a long lasting problem that has plagued some friends of ours for some time.
To make a long sotry short..
-Bob, one of my best friends (almost like a brother to me) has a girlfriend, Sara. She is cool. Things seem to be going good. -Bob comes to a friends cottage. Bob meets Anne (one of my best female friends). -Bob and Anne hit it off, resulting in bob cheating on Sara. -Bob thinks hes falling for Anne. -Sara finds out about Bob and Anne via facebook. She was in love, now she is dying. -Bob, who was set on ending it with Sara, and starting anew with Anne, decides to get Sara back (her friends tell bob that they can help him get her back) -Bob cant end it with Anne. But gets back with Sara. Hurting Anne. -Then, Bob decides he wants to be with Anne. Leaves Sara. And hurts her. -Bob runs back to Sara. Anne is hurt. -Bob runs back to Anne. Sara is hurt. -Bob runs back to Sara. Anne is hurt. badly. -Bob runs back to Anne. Sara is hurt. badly. -Bob runs back to Sara. Anne is hurt. WORSE. -Bob runs back to Anne. Sara is hurt. WORSE. -etc... back and fuckin forth.
This has been going on for like 6 fuckin months now. At first it was cute. Now it's bad. I've talked to both girls, who are singing the same fuckin song. They talk exactly the same about him. Claiming that he always, ALWAYS comes back to them, even when they tell him to do what he wants and to be happy.
Bob tells me hes in love with two girls. I dont believe him, I tell him to go for the one that makes him most happily comfortable. This was after the first month. I didn't understand then what I do now.
Now its got to the point where Anne is like fuckin suicidal. And so is Sara to be honest. Bob says too many i love yous. He crawls on his hands and knees. To both Sara, and Anne. Back and forth. Schizo shit. The only reason these girls take him back, is because he tries so hard to get them back. He becomes desperate. He stalks, he cries, he falls, and he "needs" them. They take him back, everytime. Its happened more times than I can count with my fingers.
Last night, me, with a few friends, including Bob AND ANNE were going to party for new years. Bob claimed that it was truly over with Sara, and that he was now wit Anne for good. A buddy asks Bob if he has any contact with Sara anymore. He says no, its over. My buddy, who claims he once was in the same situation, offered honest and sencere advice.
It turns out that Bob and Anne start getting all stupid again, and its drama and tears on new years. They end up going home. I go with my bud and some others to afterhours.
We get fucked up. Party for 12 hours straight. My jaw hurts. But we acheive expanded awareness.
At the end of it all, me and buddy exit the subway station, on the same street that Bob lives on.
We are standing, talking all kinds of crazy shit, when we none other than.. Wow.. Bob and Sara. walking down the street holding hands.
Bob looks at us, kind of has this extremely ashamed smirk on his face and says "whats up" and continues walking.
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A FUCKIN REASON.
Both my and buddy are ANNEs confidance. Weve helped her along through this never ending cycle, always offering her advice. But she will always take Bob back, because bob is fucked. At this point and time, Anne is in great risk of getting so brutally heart broken (gets worse everytime he leaves) that theres no telling how she will react. She thinks that Sara is out of the picture 100%. So shes actualy doing "ok". But if she only knew...
Me and buddy love Anne, shes like our sister. We care and worry about her.
Well, this time Bob lied to Anne, Sara, me, and buddy. He is not the person I used to know. Hes fuckin insane and is now lying to everybody. hes crossed the line. hes fuckin with peoples lives so deeply. Hes too egotistical to consider other peoples emotions before his, or even on equal footing.
Me and buddy are kind of pissed off. Bob lied to us. (i knew he was lying i could sense it).
So me and buddy, who always had this solution that if Bob LEAVES YOU, YOU DONT TAKE HIM BACK FOR ATLEAST TWO MONTHS! NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS.
Now, its different. Hes turned into a sleazy bastard liar. hes like my brother and I cant believe hes so fuckin lost and naive.
Mine and buddies solution.
Present him with the ultimatum:
END IT WITH BOTH GIRLS! This is the RIGHT thing to do, to save yourself from this mess, and to save these girls. It is an opportunity to set the girls down nice and smooth and you can be HONEST. You dont have to lie anymore. You dont love either one of the girls enough to make up your mind. This has gone for too long. Its time to end it with both. It will be a big sacrifice, but you have to do it to fix everything. You can make people look up to you again. You can do the right fuckin thing, and move on. You will learn a valuable lesson, and this will never happen again to you, because how things are going, you are miserable anyways. Girls can fall inlove with you, so you will find another girl and appreciate her more, and you wont fuck it up the same way you always do.
Just end it with both of them. Heal. Grow. Learn. Evolve. Be happier than ever before. Your family (who is quite aware of this game) will once again have respect for you. Your father who died two months ago will look at you from the heavens and will be proud of you.
Promise me you will do the right thing. Walk the right path. There is no other path that you can take except to keep the twisted cycle going. And thats not the road you want to walk, because everyone is always misearble, and you kill the girls more everytime.
If you do not keep your promise to me to do the right thing, then me and buddy have no choice but to expose you fully to Anne (and maybe Sara too). The game has gotten old. You have not learned. Infact, with time, your shit has gotten deeper. You have trained yourself not to give a fuck anymore for these girls fragile lives.
If we expose you, you will lose them. This is an inevitability, no matter what. The sooner it happens, the better. No more suffering please.
Me and buddy cant bare to watch Anne hurt anymore. Its beginning to drain us, and affecting us negatively. This shit does not have to be like this.
SO thats the ultimatum. At first, the deal was that we would not meddle with Bobs life. Fuck, NEER! We would only offer them suttle advice and philosophical views of warm vibrations. Well, things have changed. Hes lying big time, to everybody, nothing has changed in his approach, and Anne is at her breaking point. I assume that Sara is too. Poor poor girls. I know bob hurts all the time too.
Shit WILL hit the fan. Do the right thing, and you will be ok. There will be no shit hitting the fan.
If you keep playing the game, you WILL be exposed. Its inevitable. Everybody IS GOING TO SUFFER BAD! Therefore, to save peoples time and money, me and buddy will make it happen. We cannot see more suffering. It is not right. We love Anne like our sister. We love Bob like our brother. We cannot keep the truth hidden, because if we do, nothing is solved, and Anne comes crying into our arms every two weeks. That is not right.
Its tough love.
The ultimatum.
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