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Anonymous #1
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suicide seems kinda feasible...
#7815350 - 12/30/07 09:58 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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maybe I'm in the 1 in 10 of people with schizophrenia that commits suicide.
I honestly don't see much of a future for myself, i don't like the way society works and that's that, so i should just stay alive to please everyone else?
Let's see, spend most of my time getting a degree so i can go and spend most of my time working and have hardly anytime to LIVE.
I'm not afraid of hard work, i will work very hard for thing that please me, I'd work hard if i lived in a tribe for example.
I get no satisfaction from working a soul crushingly depressive job so i can go and BUY my food and......fuck it I'm just rambling
All I'm saying is, I'm going to have some fun, make some music, add to my recording gear, have some fun year and then probably kill myself in some sort of way.
Or I'll just be a fucking junkie or alcoholic so I'm dead inside but still here in the flesh so it might not be as bad for other people because I'm not "dead"
I don't fit in this society and I'd rather fucking die than participate in it.
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psychejam
Musician

Registered: 09/17/07
Posts: 380
Loc: Surfers Paradise, Queensl...
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7815362 - 12/30/07 10:03 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Shit dude, what country do you live in? Sounds like a bit of a shithole if you ask me.
Move to Australia. =]
-------------------- "You mean we're smoking dog shit, man?!"
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Anonymous #1
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: psychejam]
#7815370 - 12/30/07 10:07 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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scotland, it's good and bad. Lots of fucking fools.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: psychejam]
#7815372 - 12/30/07 10:09 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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basically i'm fucking self destructive, i'd rather destroy myself than let soceity do it for me.
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WScott
´ ɑ `▽ ᑲᓇᑕ



Registered: 07/31/05
Posts: 5,713
Loc: Nacada
Last seen: 9 months, 15 days
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: psychejam]
#7815376 - 12/30/07 10:10 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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The society you're speaking of is only a part of a bigger picture. You are alive man. Keep it that way.
--------------------

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Anonymous #1
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: WScott]
#7815381 - 12/30/07 10:12 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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yeah it's just a part of the bigger picture and just a part of my problems.
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psychejam
Musician

Registered: 09/17/07
Posts: 380
Loc: Surfers Paradise, Queensl...
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: WScott]
#7815386 - 12/30/07 10:13 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Scotland. No fucking wonder you're depressed, that's a bloody miserable place. Move somewhere sunny and happy like the Caribbean, Hawaii...
Your life will take a turn for the good, trust me!
-------------------- "You mean we're smoking dog shit, man?!"
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psychejam
Musician

Registered: 09/17/07
Posts: 380
Loc: Surfers Paradise, Queensl...
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: psychejam]
#7815387 - 12/30/07 10:14 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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At least visit Vegas before you do anything 'silly', yeah?
-------------------- "You mean we're smoking dog shit, man?!"
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Anonymous #1
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: psychejam]
#7815392 - 12/30/07 10:16 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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yeah, i'll at least go out with a bang .
hahah
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Dephect




Registered: 08/10/07
Posts: 1,779
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7815412 - 12/30/07 10:24 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Aye! Scotland is not that bad of a country brother.. Aye and this is coming from a mick ya hear. Live life love life brother.. Ireland has its downs but Im moving back there when I finish up art school..
Edited by Dephect (12/30/07 10:31 PM)
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lbtchnlgs
Feel like a Stranger



Registered: 04/12/07
Posts: 672
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: Dephect]
#7815440 - 12/30/07 10:37 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Edited by Stein (12/30/07 11:43 PM)
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enlightened seed
Utopia is a state of mind



Registered: 05/04/07
Posts: 2,117
Loc: amongst civilization
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: psychejam]
#7815451 - 12/30/07 10:47 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I've felt what your feeling, then leaving home one day I made eye contact with a cripple walking down the street. I wanted to give him a ride but he was aiiight and you know what else? I suddenly knew everything would be alright. No matter how bad you have it (or think you do) there are a lot of people who wish they had what you have! Be +
Edited by enlightened seed (08/05/09 07:06 PM)
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7815635 - 12/31/07 12:25 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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who says you have to do what society tells you to do?
give it the middle finger, and go on your own path. Don't destroy yourself, because of something as stupid and meaningless as society.
Travel. Go somewhere. Move somewhere else. Disrupt business as usual where you are now. Screw the system.
Society is just people. Its nothing more than people. And they can't stop you from breaking free of the reigns and saying "I'm not going to get a cubicle job" or "This is fucking pointless".
I agree with much of what you said, society can be a terrifying machine, that it seems is impossible to escape from. But you just have to try and understand that there are things that are much better out there.
There are thousands of societies out there. All with smaller societies within them.
Costa Rica, which is a place I visited has to be by far the best, most loving place I've ever visited.
No expectations, no worries, just sitting back, and enjoying the beaches and the nice weather. (given I did not go there during hurricane season.)
But there is so much to live for. So you haven't found what you are looking for just yet. That doesn't mean there isn't anything out there for you.
If it means saving your own life, get the hell out of the place you are in. Don't go to college if you don't want to. Life is more important than any of this shit that your society will feed you.
'Success' seems to be the most terrifying part of the machine known as society. I realized a long time ago, that success simply means being happy. Making money, and having a nice house with a white picket fence, two kids and a dog has no part in it whatsoever.
Before you consider killing yourself, please consider all of the things you haven't seen out in the world that you would truly find beautiful. All of the societies that will accept you for who you are, and all of the societies that would love to have some one like you. and what you would like to be.
Please PM me. I would really appreciate hearing from you.
You are a human being, and just that alone is enough for me to love you(unless your a political official in a high office?). I am NOT being like this just to get you to stay alive. This is the honest to god truth.
--------------------
 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: Drewwyann]
#7815690 - 12/31/07 12:50 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Great post
--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Anonymous #1
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: Drewwyann]
#7816729 - 12/31/07 11:29 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I appreciate the kind words.
I was just feeling really bad last night, stressed out from a life i don't want to live.
I will find my way somehow.
I like music, food, having fun, the sea, the sun, mountains, people saying thanks to you when you hold a door open for them.
I'm mostly a very strong determined person when it comes to what i like and want to do , so when I'm not doing it i can get really suicidal, i guess it's a good thing, a warning sign telling me I'm not living the way i think i should be.
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ZippoZ
Knomadic



Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7816870 - 12/31/07 12:18 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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much love man 
sometimes life gets on top of me too, ive thought of blowing my brains out from time to time. but in the end, the thought ALWAYS has passed and ive found my way again.
one of the things that always keeps me from ending it all on those rare occasions where i am at that low of a low, is this.
If im no longer afraid of dying, then there are alot more exciting options to life than were previously available. fuck... i mean, things that would otherwise have the horribly consequence of death, are now doable. sky diving, and other horribly risky things.
just dont go robbing banks or killing anyone !
-------------------- PEACE
zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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Dephect




Registered: 08/10/07
Posts: 1,779
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7817057 - 12/31/07 01:17 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yeah brother.. Its good to think about all the things that make you happy. If you dont want to live the life you live, you should choose another one.. I like to mix it up too.. Im a raver, DJ, artist, stoner, drug using Catholic..
Be who you want to be brother..
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Mike_yy


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7817757 - 12/31/07 04:39 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
psychejam said: Scotland. No fucking wonder you're depressed, that's a bloody miserable place.
,, Scotland's actually really beautiful..
But yeah you're an individual and if you can see beyond this "we have to work" in these 8-12 hour a day jobs even if we don't like it attitude then you're lucky. Believe me the UK is not the be all and end all,, ethics are majorly different in different places..
Even if you stay in the UK, it's hard living here if you have a certain attitude but it's also kinda a blessing in disguise.
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JoseLibrado
return


Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 569
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: Mike_yy]
#7818901 - 01/01/08 01:43 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Fuck if you could only find some fun in changing peoples minds about what is true, we who agree that generally the thinking in society is wrotten and beyond compensation, would appreciate your assistence in creating change.
One step at a time, the first being after you know what made you miss the first.
love. for peace.
-------------------- The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution. And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change. Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems. Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....
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Anonymous #2
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Re: suicide seems kinda feasible... [Re: Drewwyann]
#7821040 - 01/01/08 06:21 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Drewwyann said: who says you have to do what society tells you to do?
give it the middle finger, and go on your own path. Don't destroy yourself, because of something as stupid and meaningless as society.
Travel. Go somewhere. Move somewhere else. Disrupt business as usual where you are now. Screw the system.
Society is just people. Its nothing more than people. And they can't stop you from breaking free of the reigns and saying "I'm not going to get a cubicle job" or "This is fucking pointless".
I feel exactly like the original poster and just wanted to say excellent post Drewwyann, its helped me out.
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