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OfflineScarfmeister
Thrill Seeker
Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 8,127
Loc: The will to power
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
How to succeed at work
    #7815055 - 12/30/07 08:08 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

I'm going to give you guys the benefit of my experience so that you may have a long and prosperous career.

The most important factor for succeeding at work is not contrary to popular belief doing a good job, its blending in well.
As long as you are popular at work you can get away with anything.
If you are well liked, and people perceive you as one that is liked by others they will not, no matter how much they'd like to talk shit about you or complain to your boss or coworkers. They are simply scared that the boss wont agree with them and label them as trouble makers or something.

Always be on time. If you are extremely well liked you can start coming in late and nobody will care but that is the exception.
People seems to put an incredible premium on punctuality. That if you are five minutes late you are somehow stealing time from them or something.

Rest assured that if there are some people that don't like you, they will complain about it to the boss and the boss will bring it up with you. You can be a complete asshole and do crappy work, but as long as you are on time every day you are fucking untouchable. (trust me on this one)

Make friends with the boss. If he invites you to the Thursday evening company soccer game, you best get your ass there even if you'd rather get ass raped then play sports with your douchbag colleagues.

Don't be afraid to gossip and talk shit about coworkers that are less liked than you. Even if you don't agree its better to join in and be inside the circle then outside. Also this will keep your coworkers less inclined to get on your bad side since they will fear to be on the receiving end of the trash talk.

Always pretend you are buried in work even if you have squat to do. Don't even joke around that you are slacking because the greedy litte cunts will eventually think you are.
Whenever someone asks you to do something, sigh and act bothered like you just don't have the time, then agree to do it anyway like you are doing them a favor.

In the end, all that matters is perception.

God i hate you all.


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We're the lowest of the low, the scum of the fucking earth!


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InvisibleCherryBomM
Yoga Gypsy
Female User Gallery

Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
Re: How to succeed at work [Re: Scarfmeister]
    #7815066 - 12/30/07 08:12 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

New title:  How to succeed when you work a part-time job after school and weekends.  :rolleyes:


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Invisibleappleorange
Rainbow Technician
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 4,868
Loc: Reykjavík
Re: How to succeed at work [Re: CherryBom]
    #7815087 - 12/30/07 08:19 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

haha,

scarf, I agree with you man. muppet had a thread earlier about some new girl who kept working her way up the ladder even though mupp was doing a much better job.

being on time and being a people person are two very important things in the workplace.


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OfflineScarfmeister
Thrill Seeker
Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 8,127
Loc: The will to power
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: How to succeed at work [Re: CherryBom]
    #7815094 - 12/30/07 08:23 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

CherryBom said:
New title:  How to succeed when you work a part-time job after school and weekends.  :rolleyes:




I graduated 7 years ago...


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We're the lowest of the low, the scum of the fucking earth!


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InvisibleUnholyChild666
I'M GOD
Male

Registered: 03/26/06
Posts: 8,940
Loc: Flag
Re: How to succeed at work [Re: Scarfmeister]
    #7815148 - 12/30/07 08:46 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

If you don't work through a union they can fire you just because they can they don't need a reason. As much as you might like to think you can sue them for such a thing you would have no luck, unless it was because of your race, religion or something but that would be hard to prove, sometimes...


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"I am the Highest Power the leader of the pack"

Actiavte My Dream Sequence Machine

GOD of the hologram earth


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InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: How to succeed at work [Re: Scarfmeister]
    #7815151 - 12/30/07 08:46 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Scarfmeister said:
I'm going to give you guys the benefit of my experience so that you may have a long and prosperous career.

The most important factor for succeeding at work is not contrary to popular belief doing a good job, its blending in well.
As long as you are popular at work you can get away with anything.
If you are well liked, and people perceive you as one that is liked by others they will not, no matter how much they'd like to talk shit about you or complain to your boss or coworkers. They are simply scared that the boss wont agree with them and label them as trouble makers or something.

Always be on time. If you are extremely well liked you can start coming in late and nobody will care but that is the exception.
People seems to put an incredible premium on punctuality. That if you are five minutes late you are somehow stealing time from them or something.

Rest assured that if there are some people that don't like you, they will complain about it to the boss and the boss will bring it up with you. You can be a complete asshole and do crappy work, but as long as you are on time every day you are fucking untouchable. (trust me on this one)

Make friends with the boss. If he invites you to the Thursday evening company soccer game, you best get your ass there even if you'd rather get ass raped then play sports with your douchbag colleagues.

Don't be afraid to gossip and talk shit about coworkers that are less liked than you. Even if you don't agree its better to join in and be inside the circle then outside. Also this will keep your coworkers less inclined to get on your bad side since they will fear to be on the receiving end of the trash talk.

Always pretend you are buried in work even if you have squat to do. Don't even joke around that you are slacking because the greedy litte cunts will eventually think you are.
Whenever someone asks you to do something, sigh and act bothered like you just don't have the time, then agree to do it anyway like you are doing them a favor.

In the end, all that matters is perception.

God i hate you all.




it does not sound like you plan on working in a very professional enviroment

maybe.... taco bell for you


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Invisiblebadchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,372
Re: How to succeed at work [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #7815186 - 12/30/07 08:54 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

As others have indicated, this is only true in a minority of jobs. This is because many upper level positions have objective criteria on which job performance is rated (e.g. number of sales, number of publications, how muchoney you bring in etc.). In fact, in these types of jobs, performance is all that matters. If you are making a company millions of dollars, no one will give a shit how well you are liked or perceived.


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...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: How to succeed at work [Re: Scarfmeister]
    #7815229 - 12/30/07 09:11 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Scarfmeister said:
The most important factor for succeeding at work is not contrary to popular belief doing a good job, its blending in well.




incorrect, the goal would be to stand out, if you're the same as every other
cookie cutter employee, you wont be noticed, if you're noticed and you do shit
work, you'll be gone, OTOH if you do good work, you'll advance



Quote:

Always pretend you are buried in work even if you have squat to do.





what happens when the work doesnt make it out the door, the customer is
dissatisfied with the service he was given, etc... I work with a few that
subscribe to your work ethic, one gets a 25-50 cent raise once in a while, the
other one gets laughed at, neither has had a raise based on merit because
neither has shown initiative to take on any challenges

in the time I've been with my company my pay has doubled, I'm $1/hr behind the
senior man, he has 6 years in with the company, I've just finished my first with
9 raises in that time because I made it a point to stand out, to assist those
that need it instead of being too busy

my supervisor has been there one year longer than me, hr runs the shop and makes
more than the guy with the seniority


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OfflineScarfmeister
Thrill Seeker
Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 8,127
Loc: The will to power
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: How to succeed at work [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #7816103 - 12/31/07 07:04 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

GGreatOne234 said:
it does not sound like you plan on working in a very professional enviroment

maybe.... taco bell for you




What? I have some 7 years of professional experience. I've worked everything from a 10 man startup to IBM.
Kiss-assholes, get there in time and be manipulative is the key.
But hey, maybe things are different in lala land were you guys work.

btw spell check is your friend.


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We're the lowest of the low, the scum of the fucking earth!


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