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tsquad
Stranger

Registered: 09/18/06
Posts: 104
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Family Assistance
#7805938 - 12/27/07 10:52 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Hello fellow Shroomerites 
I didn't think it would happen to me, but I finally have come across a large family problem.
To preface: I have a very close knit family. My parents are divorced, but it worked out very nicely, and we all had dinner on Christmas Eve with my Mom's brother's family and my Mom and Dad and their respective significant others. My entire side of my Mom's family smokes weed; I've smoked with my Mom, several of my aunts and uncles, my cousins, etc. We're a very large Italian family. So my Mom has known of my psychedelic usage as well, and doesn't condone it but understands it, and would rather me do them safely in our house rather than at school (I go to a large university in Boston). My Dad, on the other hand, is a lot less open. When my parents were together, he smoked weed with the rest of the family. I found his stash in the freezer when I was too young to know what is was, and my Mom told me it was Chicken Neck Seasoning (ha). Anyway, it was not until I went to college when he became open about his usage. Since he started dating his girlfriend, he hasn't touched the stuff. She is very antidrug. But yeah, he knows about me smoking as well and unlike my Mom, it's "don't ask, don't tell" with him. As long as I'm not driving and am home when he wakes up, it didn't really matter. Now the problem...I came home after my first semester two weeks ago. My father found the acid (three tabs) I was planning to drop with a two friends.
He now thinks I'm a druggie, a "teenager using hallucinogens" (his words) and he's very worried for my safety. I have only dropped acid once, used mushrooms twice, but have done Salvia on I would say a monthly basis on average (I never used it at school, I would not want to). We nearly lost my Grandmother on his side a couple weeks ago to a tumor on her lung (grew 10x in a year, yet turned out to be benign, thank God), and he has been wigging out ever since, understandably. Anyway, now he thinks I am playing Russian Roulette with my life.
A little background on my father...he lived in San Francisco and San Diego in the 70s and has seen nearly everything. He lived in what we would call a crackhouse when he was in college (he ended up transferring to UC Berkeley Law and becoming a successful man, so he is not a burnout). He's seen lives destroyed by drugs, and has had several very close people to him die not because of drugs. Anyway, to cope with that, he turned to alcohol and himself was an alcoholic. He didn't drink for 10 years after seeking help. So, his views of psychedelics are bunched into the drug abuse he saw in his youth.
I have explained to him that I use psychedelics as a tool to enhance my spirituality (I am very into Pantheism and the Dharmic religions), and am actually decreasing my usage, yet he says intent does not matter. He says he understands my position, but still claims I'm using "hallucinogens" for other reasons, and is making me go to therapy to find those out. He nearly took me out of school for next semester, but I helped him understand that would do far more damage to my life than responsibly using a psychedelic. He now wants to go to therapy for his sake, as he is very worried about me, and wants me to come along, which I am fine with.
Part of the problem is also that he wants me to "abandon all drug culture" and "never touch those things" ever again. The thing is, I don't plan on stopping my use of psychedelics, at least for the time being. I feel I am using them responsibly and am not putting myself or others at risk. I don't want to lie to my Dad, nor do I want to hide part of myself from my own father. I know he will be nearly destroyed if he knows I am continuing in my beliefs that psychedelics are not harmful if used correctly, especially if I am away from home at school. He just doesn't understand.
The question I ask you all sounds fairly simple: What should I do??
I plan on going to the therapy session with him, and hopefully will be able to speak my mind and perhaps she will be able to help him understand where I'm coming from.
ps - His girlfriend is a practicing vegan Buddhist. She has been very antidrug, but was VERY interested in my copy of "The Psychedelic Experience," and is now reading a book titled "The Physics of Consciousness." I feel as though she would understand my position moreso than my father, even though she has her antidrug stance. Just another piece to the puzzle.
Let me know guys, it means a lot. Thanks 
Tyler
Edited by tsquad (12/27/07 10:58 PM)
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GGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
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Re: Family Assistance [Re: tsquad]
#7806220 - 12/28/07 12:13 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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well tyler, thank you for sharing your story
one thing that sticks out to me is that i find it very courageous of you to be so willing to attend a therapy session with your father about these matters, good man
i had a similar situation happen to me when i was growing up with my parents, my dad is cannabis nazi, he used to grow and smoke his own for many years until one day the herb started to make him paranoid... and he flipped the fuck out when i told him i started smoking herb... i kind of started at a very young age but still, i was just being honest with him, strange enough, that was the only drug he disapproved of for the most part, my mom let me make my own decisions and mistakes with experimenting even though she has never touched a recreational drug in her entire life, it all started at a young age for me, they would buy me cigarettes and beer and did not mind me doing that... heck i even got heavily involved in a very dangerous narcotics scene for many years and, insanely the only one that would piss my dad off is probably one of the most harmless drugs on the planet, cannabis :chuckles: i was using herb to write music and perform and practice with my bandmates ... my parents were always erily quite, understanding and accepting of my interest in mushrooms and lsd, to this day i still laugh my ass off about my dads opposition to the use of marijuana, it was just unbelieveably insane, ya know, why are you buying a teenager cartons of cigarettes and at the same time have this evil eye on marijuana while your kid is going to the ghetto to score heroin everyday because it doesnt stink up the house so much.. my parents are great though, i love them both to death, they did a wonderful job me i think, neverending love and patience, our relationship with one another has really balanced out for us in recent years, and i do not really use any drugs anymore except for coffee.. one day you might be sitting and thinking about all the drugs and alcohol you did during your life and see a gigantic mountain of crap you put into your body, and just kind of get disenchanted with the whole scene.. i still eat mushrooms a few times a year for my own health reasons, but that is about the extent of it all
i can not really say much more than my own story to you
good luck, and uh, you can still love people even though they do not use many drugs
classy move by going to a therapist with/for your dad, i like that
gg
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origami.octopus
Mycoporn fanaticin training


Registered: 11/17/07
Posts: 256
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
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(too OP) I share similar views with you on psychedelics.
Does your fathers girlfriend know he found those tabs? If she does already, i would say that it might be a good idea to talk to her about it. Take your time explaining psychedelics to her, and instead of trying to make her have your views, lead her to a reasonable conclusion.
When explaining personal use of psychedelics to someone who has no experience with them, or has not used them for spirituality, it can be very difficult to convince them of you intentions. (as well as convince them of the possibility for spiritual use)
Providing either your father or your fathers girlfriend with appropriate literature on entheogens/psychedelics seems like it would be beneficial. (can i recomend "Mushroom Wisdom: How Shamans Cultivate Spiritual Consciousness" http://www.amazon.com/Mushroom-Wisdom-Cultivate-Spiritual-Consciousness/dp/1579510361 )
Agreeing to the therapy was good in terms of your relationship with your father, however be wary that therapists (the rapist) might have a very set view on psychedelics, perhaps grouping them with all other drugs, as just something that is abused.
but that might just be my experiences with therapy speaking
-------------------- I like to look at mushrooms the way most people like to look at flowers. this is an amazing game http://www.kongregate.com/games/customlogic/sprout
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Family Assistance [Re: tsquad]
#7807339 - 12/28/07 12:57 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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The question I ask you all sounds fairly simple: What should I do??
Well it's really none of his business an he's a hypocrite to boot. I think his GF will come to your rescue however.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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tsquad
Stranger

Registered: 09/18/06
Posts: 104
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: Family Assistance [Re: Icelander]
#7809417 - 12/29/07 12:49 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Thank you all for the advice, I've considered each of your ideas.
A bit of an update:
In my talks with my father, he finally came out that he's not worried about my intent or religious experience. He did have a bit of a cynical tone when discussing a religious experience produced by mushrooms for shamans and the like, but I'd expect that from him. Anyway, being a lawyer and a father, he seems most concerned with me possibly receiving a felony charge if I'm caught, and affecting my brain chemistry by using drugs. I am 18, and my mother's aunt was "schizophrenic": she was a POW in WWII and was given unknown drugs, came back to the US very fucked up and was institutionalized for the rest of her life.
Granted, he has a right to be concerned about both of those things. They are both matters that I need to consider for my own safety. However, I doubt the police would somehow enter my house, find my three tabs hidden in a harmonica case, and arrest me. Also, LSD and psilocybin have been shown to have no lasting physical effects, am I right? My perspective about the whole schizophrenia thing...you won't develop psychoses from a bad trip. Obviously we cannot control our trip, but with adequate preparation and correct set and setting, the risks of a bad trip are minimalized. Thus, I have weighed out the risks and benefits for myself, and it is not up to him to tell me how to live my life. I don't want to worry him though, and for his sake I will not be partaking in LSD, at least not for the time being.
So now, I am not really allowed to go out for a little, as he doesn't trust me when I say I'm going to watch a movie...he thinks I'm going to go get high. I guess I just have to suck it up.
The therapist hasn't called him back, but I'm guessing we're still going to go to that before I go back to school (January 15th).
Any suggestions about what to talk about with him or the therapist or anything in general?
Thanks again.
ps I showed him the John Hopkins study about psilocybin producing a universal 'mystical' experience, and he basically said I can't experience that because I don't have a mentor nor the controlled conditions, both of which the participants had. I disagree, and think that adequate preparation (ie reading literature such as the Book of the Dead) and having a sitter and no plans for the day is safe. We will never agree on such, so we were kind of stuck there.
Edited by tsquad (12/29/07 12:50 AM)
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GGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
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Re: Family Assistance [Re: tsquad]
#7809519 - 12/29/07 01:37 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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well honestly my opinion may not fair too well at a drug based website, but i will share
um, i do not think you will ever really have a actual "religious experience" from using drugs, and i am not going to even get into "religion" with anybody, but people go to church for that kind of stuff
there is a good chance that you can have a "spiritual experience" or even a "human experience" with the use of recreational drugs, but the drugs are not at all necessary for exploring your own spirituality, most people probably do a better job at doing that while completely sober, making something great happen in your life, being healthy, being kind, challengeing yourself, learning new things, broadening your horizons, making other people happy, doing good things for others, and on and on until one day all positive and healthy things you do in life mushroom clouds in your face and you are extremely happy with your life, living every second feeling great and natural and healthy and pure, not even concerning yourself much with religion and spirituality and death and god, just enjoying everything you have inside of yourself, spreading that love to everyone you meet, being kind and genuine, and not having to look into other peoples eyes with psychedelic laser beams piercing through them in a unnatural or intense fashion hehe
naw, psilocybin essentially might be one of safest drugs that i can really think of on the planet today, but it most certainly is illegal in most places so that is a clear risk for many people, you can learn a lot from ingesting it, but it is not truly necessary for anyone in my eyes.. drugs are an illusion
gg
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tsquad
Stranger

Registered: 09/18/06
Posts: 104
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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I agree with you. I would say that the furthest psychedelics can go into religion is showing and reaffirming the belief in the divine. The paradox of learning so much about your inner self by taking an external substance is a great one. I am slowly learning that more rewarding experiences can be had without psychedelics, and by merely living a healthy and yogic lifestyle. However, I don't think that my exploration is done, and I would like my father to understand and possibly even accept that.
Also, psychedelics are certainly not necessary. My Dad kept asking me what the need was, and I said there was no need, and then he said so why are you risking everything for something you have no need for? He has a point, and I'm definitely reconsidering. I just feel like my work with them is not done.
Edited by tsquad (12/29/07 02:30 AM)
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