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Offlinedanlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
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I need help
    #7804745 - 12/27/07 05:10 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

can somebody answer this? Why do I care so much about people when they couldn't give a shit about me? there is this kid who i have been friends with all my life... but he treats me like shit and talks so much behind my back... none of my friends stand up for me and they have been hanging out with me much less. Is everyone on this planet like this? or do I have bad friends? I'm in the most painful time of my life, and the only person that can do something about it cant get the strength to help. the only person that can help me is me... but i just don't have the strength


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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Invisibleim_on_a_boat
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Registered: 04/06/06
Posts: 3,950
Re: I need help [Re: danlennon3]
    #7804753 - 12/27/07 05:12 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

you got the strength.

shit just say fuck em if they aren't there for you you still got family ya know.

maybe they dont know that you need em and shit maybe whatever you're going through is making your (possibly subconsciously) push them away or they are getting the wrong signals.

best thing to do is talk to ya boys and let em know whats up.

either they will back you up or they are pieces of shit and shouldn't be your friends anyways.


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OfflineManianFHS
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Registered: 07/06/04
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Re: I need help [Re: im_on_a_boat]
    #7804777 - 12/27/07 05:17 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

I agree you need to say fuckit to all those people you know. You are right when you say you are the only one that can help yourself. If you are looking for happiness with your friends, you are looking in the wrong place man. Happiness comes from within, and you will never have it until you find it there. Stop worrying about other people; just let go.

fuck them, fuck them, fuck them.. you need to let go and live your own life now. Deal with the emotional pain if you have any, but after its all said and done, you will be a lot stronger from your previous experiences, and people will not be able to have the same effect on you. If others are manipulating your emotions, it is because you are letting them..

take control, and go find happiness on your own, regardless of the costs.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
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Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: I need help [Re: danlennon3]
    #7804820 - 12/27/07 05:31 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Didn't you make a post in P&S about the exact stuff, a few months ago?
I think that it must be hard for you to get used to the ides of not being friends with this dude anymore and afraid of loneliness, but I am going to be straight with you and tell you that you have two options: face life on your own, fight your own fears and face a lot of things that you're not used to, or stay in a situation where you feel safe and pay the price you're paying.
The risks of the first are that you'll discover a lot of bothersome truths about yourself (but in the same time the opportunity to fix them and become your own person).
The risks of the latter are that you'll develop yet a deeper addiction to masochism and becoming more and more repressed.
Your choice. :shrug:


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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OfflineMocha Bear
BHP
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Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 831
Loc: Mississippi
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
Re: I need help [Re: danlennon3]
    #7804906 - 12/27/07 05:54 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

At the end of the day you have to do what makes YOU happy. When one door closes another one opens. My best friend in high school treated me like crap but I just let it slide for the longest. I'm an extremely nice guy and even when people did me wrong I'd put up with them and went an extra mile to make sure that even if I wasn't happy my friends would be. There's nothing wrong with that but you have to draw the line somewhere.

Trust me dude with one friend lost there are about 5 more gained and BETTER. I never thought I'd have friends that actually appreciated me and everything I've done. I'm still cordial with the guy but I need people that will help boost me up, not bring me down. Once you get to that point you'll realize that people change and grow apart. It's sad and it sucks but it doesn't kill you. Don't let someone else bring you down when your goal is to be at the top.


--------------------
The love you take is equal to the love you make....


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Offlinedanlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
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Registered: 10/29/02
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Re: I need help [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #7804949 - 12/27/07 06:09 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

I dont know why I let people do this to me... Im just taken back when I do anything and everything to be a good person and people will backstab me. I have spent the last 6 months in solitude, probably even more. Im not a drug addict but Im starting to use them for the wrong reasons, basically to forget about everything. being high is the only thing that makes me happy anymore. I cant get a break, fucked up things just keep happening to me. I dont know how to be optimistic when everything keeps going wrong. I can only repress these negative feelings for so long... Then it all crumbles down on me


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: I need help [Re: danlennon3]
    #7804990 - 12/27/07 06:20 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

I dont know why I let people do this to me...




Because you let them.
Because you're afraid of loneliness and facing yourself.
No matter what way you turn it, it is you, not the others. The problem is yours. I am in no way dis considering you when I tell you that because people use to see this as a blaming game, but the problems that you have are because of how you behave and feel about yourself and existence. It might be not you thought and what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth.
There is no bad luck, just unskillfulness.
The sooner you'll realize this, the more time you'll have to change this. To change yourself.
What I found to help me a lot were some deep psychedelic experiences, on my own, and not the blissful experiences but mostly the scary ones.
I am not saying this is the only way, but I think that you could try that.

The fact about these unhealthy bonds between people is that they are addictive. Hence your impulse to abuse drugs.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: I need help [Re: danlennon3]
    #7805015 - 12/27/07 06:28 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

danlennon3,
there are a lot of very kind people out there in this world for you to learn how to find,
it helps to first learn how to find yourself


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Offlinedanlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
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Registered: 10/29/02
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Re: I need help [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #7805037 - 12/27/07 06:38 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Its hard to hear it but I know you speak the truth. I still have difficulty resolving my issues. its sad to think that I wasted my entire life caring about other people for nothing.When I try to care less about people, I start becoming the very person I never wanted to be. Its like I have to become more selfish and arrogant and I don't want to be.


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: I need help [Re: danlennon3]
    #7805060 - 12/27/07 06:46 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

no man,
do not look at other people yet, look at yourself
once you learn how to love yourself, project it upon every person that you come in contact with
you will be amazed with how much of a difference it makes
you will begin attracting other people who are kind


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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
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Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: I need help [Re: danlennon3]
    #7805085 - 12/27/07 06:56 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

First of all NOTHING is a waste.
Since everything that happens to you is a lesson to yourself about who you are and about what life is.
Every experience can be as valuable as you want it to be, depending on how much you're ready to take from it.
Second of all, again, I will have to tell you that what you do isn't called caring about people. You think it's so because that's the only explanation that made sense to you once and then you sticked to it because you found comfort in it.
It is true what you always hear, that you only love others when you love yourself. And you're far from loving yourself.
The reason why you believe you care about people is because you are afraid to end your unhealthy relationships. This and the fact that you think that you're not good enough, and the shame that comes along with it in telling the other it's over.
This is a crucial moment for you, a moment where you are posing yourself a question: shall you continue lying to yourself and follow an addictive path (regarding everything not just the people you know and the drugs you use), or start following a hard (but well worthy) way of facing your fears.
I say this is a crucial moment not because it is THE ONLY moment in which you can choose, but because it is the most favorable for a change, since you feel an impulse that makes you reflect upon your life.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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Offlinedanlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
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Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 19,246
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Last seen: 1 year, 12 days
Re: I need help [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #7805088 - 12/27/07 06:57 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

its hard for me to love myself, I dont know where to start.


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: I need help [Re: danlennon3]
    #7805092 - 12/27/07 06:59 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Stop blaming yourself and start understanding the mechanism behind your attitude. :mushroom2:


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: I need help [Re: danlennon3]
    #7805139 - 12/27/07 07:19 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

yes, it usually does not happen over night dan

the best advice i can give for a starting point is simple, but it is easier said then done

look into yourself until you are comfortable with what you see
learn how to love yourself, you are the only one that can do it
then spread the love freely to everyone you meet

and that is the truth, ruth


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Offlinedanlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
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Registered: 10/29/02
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Re: I need help [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #7805186 - 12/27/07 07:38 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

if I lose 2 friends, I might as well lose them all. everyone usually hangs out together. I already have spent many months alone, and it was the worst experience. I dont know how Im going to meet new people and make new friends...I can't drive. the reason I cant drive is because of a seizure I had 6-7 months ago. I cant afford to go back to the doctor either.and this is why I worry so much. because one little problem leads to a chain reaction of many big problems


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
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Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
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Re: I need help [Re: danlennon3]
    #7805215 - 12/27/07 07:47 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Can you provide details about how your alone experience was?


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: I need help [Re: danlennon3]
    #7805227 - 12/27/07 07:51 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

if they are friends they will be there for you when you get back
try to bring yourself back as a better person, they will love it

5-10-20-50 years away, however long it might be
walk your own path for a while, and come back stronger

being alone is, difficult
no one ever said it was easy to learn how to like yourself
but once you learn how to do that, almost everyone will like you


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Offlinedanlennon3
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Re: I need help [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #7805343 - 12/27/07 08:11 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

I spent most of the time at home in front of the computer. I spent much of that time thinking...The thinking led to worrying, and the worrying led to panicking. I was depressed most of the time because I would only feel happy only in small intervals. My friends stopped calling to hang out. Sometimes a friend would come to visit and we'd talk...Id catch up on what everyone else was doing and also hear what other people were saying about me... Since no one stands up for me,rumors and lies are spread. Then I realize why no one hangs out with me


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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Offlinemushroomplume
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Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 1,395
Last seen: 14 years, 19 days
Re: I need help [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #7805358 - 12/27/07 08:12 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Hey Dan!

It sounds like these are your only remaining friends and are afraid of losing them because of this.

Before you decide to do anything, I think you should take it easy and just think about for a while if these people actually are your friends. Once you have an answer to that, you should roll from there.

:hippie:


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OfflineJoseLibrado
return


Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 569
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
Re: I need help [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #7805361 - 12/27/07 08:13 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Why do I care so much about people when they couldn't give a shit about me?

Im not sure what you mean by care. But i assume it means, try to please them.

So if this is true. Why this happens has to do with the prespective you have about people.

People are all nessecary in the experience of life. Even these people here are important to you, because later on the people who you care about and care about you too, will seem as as good as these people who do not care about you, seem bad.

In the same way, any uneasyness you have caused them, will create for a better experience in the future for them with other peoplem if not already.

Your relationship with them may show them in the future, what it is really like to be a friend to someone, because they most likely will meet people who treat them like shit and use them.

All this no matter what you did to them and what they do to you, is nessecary in the cycle of good and bad, real and fake.

You like everyone, is nessecary.

Ying and Yang. :heart:


--------------------
The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution.

And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change.

Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems.

Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....


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InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: I need help [Re: danlennon3]
    #7805701 - 12/27/07 09:51 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

dan, learn how to channel your thoughts and feelings into a more positive direction

if i was bored and stuck in front of a computer screen like that
i would recommend waiting for a good feeling to come around
and then use that energy to open up with people in the kindest way you know how

write your mom a letter telling her how much you love and care about her, be creative about it
tell your dad that you respect him and think he is great, tell him that you appreciate everything he has done for you
tell your brothers or your sisters that you wish all the best for them, ask them if there is anything you can do for them
tell your aunts and your uncles how much you appreciate something kind that they once did for you
send your grandmas and grandpas nice letters in the mail telling them how great you think they are
call your little neices and nephews on the phone and tell them you think they are cool and ask them what kind of toy they want you to buy them
email a old friend a well constructed letter describing a good time you once had together and how halarious you thought it was
call a girlfriend or your wife if you have one just to say you were thinking good things about her and to have a wonderful day

i could go on forever with this

open up, be positive, break bad habits, be healthy, challenge yourself, learn something new

dont be afraid of anything or anyone

go to a coffee shop and approach strangers in the kindest most natural way possible, say hi how is your day going so far, how is the coffee, when the conversation is over tell them to enjoy their holidays and that you hope to maybe see them around again

talk to everyone you can, be kind, spread your love for life into their lives if only for a few seconds and you never see them again

those are just a few ideas to get you started

be healthy man, open up to people and genuinely be glad to have met them no matter how long they are in your life

it sounds over the top, but you could try doing these things for a while and see if it makes you feel any better

gg


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