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gluke bastid
Stinky Bum



Registered: 12/20/00
Posts: 3,322
Loc: Charm City
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Being a man
#7803471 - 12/27/07 10:42 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Recently I have been giving a lot of thought to the fact that I am a man and what that means, if anything. I find it very difficult for some reason. I have always looked up to women in a weird way, and rarely look up to men. Lately, I would say, this attitude is causing me some amount of pain and sufferring. I will try and go deeper into this to make some sense and see if anyone feels the same way:
My sex makes me feel empty, shallow, like I don't have any essence. I feel like the feminist movement and the civil rights movements and the emerging visibility of minorities in our culture (all things I support) have made it sort of "out-of-style" to be a straight white dude, which is what I am. I truly support all the causes I listed, and I think it is good that all this freedom and power is emerging for new groups of people who were traditionally left behind. But I just don't know how I fit in. I feel like having any aspect that makes you different is like having character. I often feel so plain, dull, square and ordinary. But beyond that I have trouble respecting and loving what I am. I imagine that if I were a woman I would be more excited about myself and interested in myself. I would be more confident that I am attractive and interesting, things that I find men not to be.
I just wish I could figure out one thing that being a man means, you know? Like some aspect of my sex that I am proud of, some advantage I can celebrate and thank God for. And I don't know what that is. The only things I can think of that men can do better than women are athletic in nature. Which doesn't amount to much because, although I love exercise, I'm not really interested in becoming physically competitive. I don't know.
What is a man?
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Society in every form is a blessing, but government at its best is but a necessary evil - Thomas Paine
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fake estate
didgin it out



Registered: 10/13/07
Posts: 264
Loc: NC
Last seen: 8 months, 4 days
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before anyone can answer that..one might want to know what is being human
everryone is unique in so many aspects yet we are all connected at certain levels too...the qualities you look up to in others are those qualities that you wish to have more strongly
embrace your individuality and dont strive to fit in with societal norms...because as you have already found out they too are constantly in flux...ultimately leaving you a very empty person when you realize you can never fit the mold if you ever even determine what it is
-------------------- eat more algae.
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gluke bastid
Stinky Bum



Registered: 12/20/00
Posts: 3,322
Loc: Charm City
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Wow. Thanks! Really good advice there.
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Society in every form is a blessing, but government at its best is but a necessary evil - Thomas Paine
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Good questions.
But I just don't know how I fit in.
You fit in whether you know it or feel it, just because you're human.
But what you seek by wanting to fit is happiness IMO. I don't think that ever works for long. It's just a good distraction.
I went through all these questions myself. There are no answers but the ones you choose. No right or wrong except as you feel it. Try to forge a path that is based on your own evaluations of how to be. Listen to what others (including the experts) have to say but don't believe that they are any more sure of anything than you will be. If you ever can accept your confusion and all your habits without condemnation then you will be on your way to forging a path that you can live with. THERE ARE NO RIGHT ANSWERS OR RIGHT WAYS TO BE.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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JoseLibrado
return


Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 569
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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What is a man?
The question disintergrates when you realize that we are not bodies. But i feel like i am a body and this is fine, we need to be illusioned to know reality. It is the only reason i speak to your about this, because i am still illusioned, at times and i can see the illusion that the question creates, and makes you circle back even after the 3rd time you think youve figured out the question.
The reason we cannot be a body, is because a body only represents a potential. Be it a potential to please someone, to a potential to fit it or even a potential to know what we are not a potential. We simply are not potentials.
For instance, your body may or may not have the potential to jump. This potential preceeds the actualization of the JUMP when you recognize that you want to fullfill the potential. To say i am a high jumper, assumes that i am a capacity to jump higher than most.
Some may even say [well we are responsible for our capacity, so it reflects the persons identity and the value that you think the identity deserves. I think your question arises from this?
No matter. In answere to this i would say that although we do have an effect on out potential or capacities, this in itself has a capacity itself. IE. You want to change your mind about something, but your subconcious tells you something else and you end up living it for a larger part of your waking life. To change this one must have a potential to change it.
In the same way that we have a potential to increase our potentials, do we have the potential to change our minds about something.
So i see that even the person who see{s that we are our potentials because we have an effect on them, cannot prove that we are in any way our potential, because it takes a potential to effect a change on your potential, in order to have any effect on our potentials.
Through all of this i see that we are all the same thing. The only thing that differes between us is the potentials that we are presently in the potential to play with, to cultivate whatever us creators ch
-------------------- The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution. And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change. Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems. Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....
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Anarleaf
Teotihualto



Registered: 01/19/07
Posts: 156
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I admit that feminists have done well such as Alice Paul and Lucy Burns, which help push the 19th amendment. As of today however feminists are pushing for unfair and ridiculous legislation, such as forcing females to "male dominated" workforces.
As to how you feel, that all depends on the role you think masculinity and femininity are in society. Females tend to be closer and focused on working together, while men are typically competitive and physically stronger. But it all matters on how you perceive yourself in the role as a human.
Edited by Anarleaf (12/27/07 08:11 PM)
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BlueCoyote
Beyond



Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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My catch on this is, that despite the social norms, much of what defines man and woman are their hormones which influence their minds. I would have to reread the effects, but you can do it by yourself. As far as I remember, especially estrogens and testosterones seem to force a pattern on one's behaviour. For example testosterones will make you active, impulsive, etc. Now, both hormones are present in both types, but typically in a gender-specific correlation. As this happens very early in the development of a child, it also may have influence on a way of the specialization and utilization of one's brain parts, especially the hemispheres. This may change drastically, let's say, if a man experiences homelessness, then his female qualities seem to be activated and he begins to search for a 'home' or begins to make himself comfortable. Men attributes would be to strive further and seek their peace by conquering and battling. Woman traits seem to be those which keep one happy with what one has and to make the best out of it. This is in no way an unchangeable pattern, imho, as all our mind can be influenced by our willing consciousness. Much of the modern feminism sadly catches up male traits, mirrors and enforce them on males, instead of bringing the own feminine power to more weight and influence. So man can read a good picture about male behaviour by learning about modern feminism
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