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Anonymous #1

My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading.
    #7802951 - 12/27/07 04:46 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

As stated, I finally got it out of her as to why she feels sick to consider putting her mouth down there.

She feels that it is degrading and makes her sick to the stomach, even when I compared my ..... to a banana she was about to eat, she got upset and told me that she felt sick.

So... what can I do to make her feel like this isn't degrading?

She wants to feel better about it so she can, and I want to help her.


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Anonymous #2

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7802962 - 12/27/07 05:00 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

the only thing that's important in this situation is whether or not she expects you to eat her out...cause if it's degrading for her to go down on you - then it's also degrading for you to do the same

and if you can manage sex without the fucken foreplay - then, you sir, are every man's hero  :cheers:


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Anonymous #1

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #7802969 - 12/27/07 05:08 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

(Original Poster)

She doesn't expect me to and sometimes she does feel bad about it, but yes, most times she gets oral and if she doesn't she does get foreplay. She doesn't usually return, but sometimes. Just no oral from her.


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Anonymous #3

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7803029 - 12/27/07 06:42 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Well what the hell.

STOP going down on her.  See if she cares.  If she likes getting it, she'll say something, and then you can explain that if she feels the act is "degrading", then why would she want to degrade you in the same way??


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Anonymous #4

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7803038 - 12/27/07 06:50 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

I suppose she feels dry smashing the shitbox is degrading too.

Probably need to look into getting a new girlfriend.


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Anonymous #5

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #7803072 - 12/27/07 07:17 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

I love to give blowjobs! I don't feel they are degrading. In fact when done correctly it puts the girl in the position of power.

I'm sure the same can be said about guys going down on a girl. When you have someone right on the edge and almost begging you not to stop...................that's when you are in control.

At that point you can cause the most extreme pleasure or anguish. But I didn't always feel this way. It takes getting really good at it.

Maybe showing her that you don't think less of her and that it's a wonderful gift she can give you might help.


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Anonymous #1

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #7803075 - 12/27/07 07:19 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

(Original Poster)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Well what the hell.

I'm a chick, and I don't like oral- I don't like giving OR receiving. Sounds like she's being selfish.

STOP going down on her. See if she cares. If she likes getting it, she'll say something, and then you can explain that if she feels the act is "degrading", then why would she want to degrade you in the same way??

Seriously. I don't like it, but at least I'm consistent and fair.




I don't consider it selfish because I enjoy doing that for her, but she doesn't enjoy giving it. She enjoys getting it and holding that hostage would not change anything but strain us. And reduce our quality of sex.

As for getting a new girlfriend...
She's not going to be my girlfriend anymore soon though, she'll be my wife.


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Anonymous #2

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7803118 - 12/27/07 07:43 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

STOP going down on her.  See if she cares.  If she likes getting it, she'll say something, and then you can explain that if she feels the act is "degrading", then why would she want to degrade you in the same way??



best advice that could be given  :thumbup:

Quote:

I don't consider it selfish because I enjoy doing that for her, but she doesn't enjoy giving it. She enjoys getting it and holding that hostage would not change anything but strain us. And reduce our quality of sex.



...and worst response  :nonono:


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Anonymous #6

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7803136 - 12/27/07 07:52 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
(Original Poster)

She doesn't expect me to and sometimes she does feel bad about it, but yes, most times she gets oral and if she doesn't she does get foreplay. She doesn't usually return, but sometimes. Just no oral from her.




What a shitty one way street.


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Anonymous #2

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #7803158 - 12/27/07 08:06 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

to the OP

are you familiar with the term 'tough love'
ever heard of the concept of negative reinforcement
ever consider that psychological reprogramming can be accomplished with the 'proper' motivation

do you see where I'm going with this???

cause what you're doing to your woman is the equivalence of giving-in to a child every time they throw a temper tantrum (i.e. the child is doing something wrong, and you're rewarding them for it) take the advice of others and quit eating this bitch out / strain your god damn relationship already by not giving her that *privilege* unless she starts damn well returning the favor / and practice a little tough love until she learns to overcome this little phobia of hers (or social programming, or whatever you wanna call it)

either that or shut the fuck up about it already





if you're not going to take people's advice - then don't ask for it  :rolleyes:


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Anonymous #1

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #7803178 - 12/27/07 08:21 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

(Original Poster)

I know what you mean, and I have used this in many cases in the relationship, but only to benefit us in a large, long term way. There is a huge risk in this and for this particular case, it isn't worth it.

Forcing her to do this that way would not be good, because at best she would not hate it that much, but she still wouldn't find it positive for our relationship.

You know, I think I'll just wait it out and see if she decides to. At one point she will, I'm sure, she has wanted to before. Maybe on our wedding night. Haha.


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Anonymous #7

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #7803270 - 12/27/07 09:06 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Op is a pussy, and would be commiting canbalism if he ate pussy.


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Anonymous #2

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #7803280 - 12/27/07 09:13 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

I may not understand the second part of that statement...  :what:



but I agree whole heartedly with the first  :yesnod:


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Anonymous #2

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #7803328 - 12/27/07 09:35 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

never mind...I just now got that one  :foreheadslap:


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Anonymous #8

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #7803453 - 12/27/07 10:32 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Here is a thought; Maybe you don't marry someone who has drastically different views on sex then yourself? Do you also have different views on other issues? Children? Money? Religion? Culture?

Sounds like a Divorce to me.


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Anonymous #9

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #7803469 - 12/27/07 10:39 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

I once dated a girl and the first time she had me go down on her she came and shit but when it was time to return the favor she said "no, thats gross" so i was like fuck u bitch and i left.

Havn't regretted it yet.


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Anonymous #2

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #7803507 - 12/27/07 11:01 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

words to live by  :thumbup:


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Anonymous #7

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #7803734 - 12/27/07 11:59 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Is it true dat azn chicks have sideway vaginas?


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Anonymous #1

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #7803793 - 12/27/07 12:14 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

(Original Poster)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Here is a thought; Maybe you don't marry someone who has drastically different views on sex then yourself? Do you also have different views on other issues? Children? Money? Religion? Culture?

Sounds like a Divorce to me.




No, we don't have different views on religion, culture, money, or children. Pretty much, we're exact matches.

We both were Christian because our family was, but now we both said screw it to that. We both want a kid, but not now. Money, we both like money, neither of us have it, but I like to give it when I have it to her and she likes to spend it (no, not gold digger like. Cheap little things that her family doesn't let her buy for herself.)

Culture? Not really. Not even sure how to poke at that one.


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Anonymous #10

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7803837 - 12/27/07 12:26 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

This blowjob issue sounds like a cultural thing.


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Anonymous #1

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #7803876 - 12/27/07 12:36 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

(Original Poster)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
This blowjob issue sounds like a cultural thing.




It's not, it's a personal thing.

Maybe she sees it as being a Japanese thing... since to Chinese Japanese appear to be a bunch of dirty sluts and, well, bukkake anyone? She has watched a fair share of pr0n.

But I don't know... I think in our relationship, most times, she's the husband. In sex, it is fairly equal, but she rarely will lay on me and prefers to have me lay on her with her head usually above mine.

Dunno, she's not controlling when it comes to possessions, chores, or money, but meh. I sound like a pussy now.


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Anonymous #2

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7803912 - 12/27/07 12:50 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
but meh. I sound like a pussy now.



what do you mean *now*  :lol:


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Anonymous #11

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #7804033 - 12/27/07 01:20 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

well if ur not getting them now.you sure won't get them when ur married.:thumbdown:


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Anonymous #12

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #7804736 - 12/27/07 05:08 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Sounds like she's being selfish.




QFT


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Anonymous #13

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #7805696 - 12/27/07 09:51 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

you come here posting your problems with a relationship and refuse everyone's good advice

this is seriously the most doomed marriage i've ever seen


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Anonymous #4

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7805735 - 12/27/07 10:03 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Just out of curiosity why is it important that we know your girlfriend is Chinese?


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Anonymous #1

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #7805800 - 12/27/07 10:20 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

(Original Poster)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Just out of curiosity why is it important that we know your girlfriend is Chinese?




So that you can relate this thread to my many other anonymous threads about her.


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Anonymous #14

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7805863 - 12/27/07 10:36 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
(Original Poster)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Just out of curiosity why is it important that we know your girlfriend is Chinese?




So that you can relate this thread to my many other anonymous threads about her.




So that we know that you're the same unfortunate bastard. :lol:
Leaving the half-joke aside, I think that she has lots of issues hiding behind her unwillingness ti blow you.
I am a woman but I don't think it makes so much of a difference since I can relate to both sexes pretty well.
The Question is: do you wanna spend your time with someone who needs to have an advantage in a relationship? This is looking for power and it's doesn't resume only to her not wanting to suck your cock.
It is also about all those other things which come with the territory.
Look at her and analyze her behavior in all the other situations in which she needs to hide behind a superiority mask.
I have been in relationships where my partner did the same thing and it didn't turn out good. On the contrary, it was terrible.
It was terrible because I ended up identifying with his psychological issues and I had to fight with them for more than a year. :hehehe:
It WAS a valuable lesson for me and now I know what to avoid and know myself better because of that, but the experience itself sucked.
Do you wanna follow that route? :sherlock:


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Anonymous #15

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10904403 - 08/21/09 01:07 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

As for getting a new girlfriend...
She's not going to be my girlfriend anymore soon though, she'll be my wife.




what the fuck man... you're settling for less than you want

remember, marriage can either be a cool awesome chance to spend your whole life with someone you love

or a fucking LIFE SENTENCE with someone who won't even blow you :nonono:


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Anonymous #16

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #10904520 - 08/21/09 01:29 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

my white girlfriend was the same way. it took a lot of me telling her she's being selfish and telling her to just put a little in her mouth, feel free to get mad at her. now that little bit has bloomed into her stuffing as much of me in her mouth as possible. She still isn't phenomenal at giving head or totally game for it, but she does it often enough now which is good enough :tongue:


edit: my girlfriend is a cunt


Edited by Anonymous (08/22/09 07:20 AM)


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Anonymous #17

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #16]
    #10904570 - 08/21/09 01:38 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Put honey on your cock.


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Anonymous #18

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10906092 - 08/21/09 05:04 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Heres what you do. Start eating her out every time until she gets used to it. Then suddenly go on strike until she decides to start using the mouth.

The downside is that you may have to continue eating her out every time (if you consider that a downside), but its better than no blojobs. I wouldnt even stay with someone who wouldnt do that.


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Anonymous #19

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #10906518 - 08/21/09 06:09 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

lie to her, tell her swallowing sperm will make her taller, bigger boobs, etc.. chicks dig that.




also, stop  mimicking the full metal jacket line everytime you try to get her in the moodd...  "sucky, sucky", " five dolla'" and " anyching joo want" might be what is actually turning her off


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Anonymous #17

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #19]
    #10907383 - 08/21/09 08:05 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

http://www.tatom.org/documents/CNN.com-StudyNewstudyshows.htm

Tell her it reduces risk of breast cancer.


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Anonymous #20

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #10909347 - 08/22/09 12:58 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Eating dogs and killing baby girls is degrading. To everyone.

Many proud and respectable women get down on the knob. Tell her to grow the fuck up.


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Anonymous #12

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10909998 - 08/22/09 04:36 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

You know what is degrading? Putting her on her knees, and slapping her face to make her beg for the cock.

Insinuate it, then let her decide.


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Anonymous #21

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10910113 - 08/22/09 05:57 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Most of the advice so far has been crap.  There's no point witholding oral from her as that just turns it into a war.  It sounds like she wants to do it but can't bring herself to.  Ok so the best thing to do is to ease her into it.  So get her to start by perhaps kissing, licking and sucking etc around the general area.  Then she can graduate to perhaps moving in closer, then kissing/licking the end etc.  It's just all about slowly slowly getting her used to the idea that it's not disgusting etc.  I am sure once she does this over a period of time and sees how much you enjoy it she'll overcome her horror of it.


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Anonymous #17

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #21]
    #10910284 - 08/22/09 07:52 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #21 said:
Most of the advice so far has been crap.  There's no point witholding oral from her as that just turns it into a war.  It sounds like she wants to do it but can't bring herself to.  Ok so the best thing to do is to ease her into it.  So get her to start by perhaps kissing, licking and sucking etc around the general area.  Then she can graduate to perhaps moving in closer, then kissing/licking the end etc.  It's just all about slowly slowly getting her used to the idea that it's not disgusting etc.  I am sure once she does this over a period of time and sees how much you enjoy it she'll overcome her horror of it.




:thumbup::thumbup:

Make sure you trim and keep it clean too!

This book has a page or two on different oral sex positions; not all of them go deep in the mouth or anything.


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Anonymous #15

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #17]
    #10910322 - 08/22/09 08:07 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #17 said:
http://www.tatom.org/documents/CNN.com-StudyNewstudyshows.htm

Tell her it reduces risk of breast cancer.



Quote:

"Only with regular occurrence will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."




:congrats:


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Anonymous #22

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10910424 - 08/22/09 08:41 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
As stated, I finally got it out of her as to why she feels sick to consider putting her mouth down there.

She feels that it is degrading and makes her sick to the stomach, even when I compared my ..... to a banana she was about to eat, she got upset and told me that she felt sick.

So... what can I do to make her feel like this isn't degrading?

She wants to feel better about it so she can, and I want to help her.




Get a new one, I know a place where there's about 600,000,000 more ladies of the Orient...


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Anonymous #23

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #10912664 - 08/22/09 02:17 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #14 said:
Leaving the half-joke aside, I think that she has lots of issues hiding behind her unwillingness ti blow you.
I am a woman but I don't think it makes so much of a difference since I can relate to both sexes pretty well.
The Question is: do you wanna spend your time with someone who needs to have an advantage in a relationship? This is looking for power and it's doesn't resume only to her not wanting to suck your cock.
It is also about all those other things which come with the territory.
Look at her and analyze her behavior in all the other situations in which she needs to hide behind a superiority mask.
I have been in relationships where my partner did the same thing and it didn't turn out good. On the contrary, it was terrible.
It was terrible because I ended up identifying with his psychological issues and I had to fight with them for more than a year. :hehehe:
It WAS a valuable lesson for me and now I know what to avoid and know myself better because of that, but the experience itself sucked.
Do you wanna follow that route? :sherlock:




Some truth in this.

You know how I know my girlfriend loves me?  I was talking about anal one day (something I've never done, not sure if I'm interested either) and she said "I wouldn't like it, but if you want to try.."

It's that willingness to please the other even if you're own comfort barrier is broken that represents a real care for the other person..

Something like that pretty much.


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Anonymous #24

Re: My Chinese girlfriend thinks blowjobs are degrading. [Re: Anonymous #23]
    #10913670 - 08/22/09 04:41 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

SHOVE YOUR DICK IN HER FACE!

OR GET A NEW GIRLFRIEND!

These are the choices.


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