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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Social Awkwardness.
#7793838 - 12/23/07 09:13 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Me and some friends decided to dose today at around 12:30. It was a pretty fun day, and then we decided to smoke.
so after we got done smoking a few bowls, the social awkwardness sets in (awkward is an awkward word).
I have never felt so weird towards one of my own friends before. I felt hated by them. Even though no words were exchanged, it was as if we had realized something in our two souls weren't compatable and a disagreement about something was made.
I can't possibly explain it well. But it was so profound. It made me feel so terrible. It was so weird.
I'm still trying to relive that moment. has anyone else had this happen?
Whenever you are with some friends, and you are all tripping/high, and you are the only one talking, and you feel so awkward.
I really don't know how this sounds to anyone else, but see if you can't make sense of some of it at least.
anyway...
anyone else where I am right now?
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 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: Drewwyann]
#7793842 - 12/23/07 09:16 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Let it go...coming down off acid can be a delicate time as your ego settles back in. Sounds like you were just seeing your shadow. I wouldn't worry about it. Just focus on love.
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: MOTH]
#7793859 - 12/23/07 09:24 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I don't want to let it go though. I just can't explain what happened, and I want to delve deeper into it and find out what it was, but I can't because I don't know what it was.
It was so negative though. So severely negative. Whatever it was, it came in and smashed me like a cannon ball.
My heart sank, and I felt so victimized and helpless.
It was one of the worst feelings I've had in a long while. But I don't know why it happened. I can definitely see why some people wouldn't be able to take LSD.
It really did scare the hell out of me. But it was so beautiful in how it did it.
We were all sitting there, with a lit bong between us in a circle, and no one was talking.
So i start mumbling, sort of commenting on how pathetic we are, that we are on the floor with a bong, instead of the couch. And I was really just talking in order to get some one else to talk. It was so quiet, and making eye contact was weird without words.
So whenever I started mumbling, they began to look at me. And then they were asking me why I was mumbling, I asked them why they were looking at me, and it went on, and then it just got so weird I can't explain.
It was so negative though. I hope some of my explaining has done a justice.
Edit: and damn, sufjan stevens is good.
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 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
Edited by Drewwyann (12/23/07 09:25 PM)
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: Drewwyann]
#7793862 - 12/23/07 09:27 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I get this vibe from your post that is awfully familiar...I've hit rough patches like that before. I don't know what stems from it. But you can't chase it that way, trying to figure out what caused it, in a way I think that's what makes it worse, like you pick up on this negative feeling and then you just end up trying to follow it, and it only leads you to more dark places. When in reality, all is probably fine...I think the fact that one is so in touch with oneself while simultaneously experiencing boundary dissolution in a social setting can be extremely difficult to navigate through, but isn't that the challenge? You feel like the center of the universe, and so you feel like your voice is booming and when you talk all eyes and the spotlights of the world are upon you...but you have to see beyond yourself.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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enesi
On the Bus



Registered: 04/23/06
Posts: 1,408
Loc: Erf
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: Drewwyann]
#7793863 - 12/23/07 09:27 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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It's the elephant in the room that nobody wants to acknowledge, lol. I've been there.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: Drewwyann]
#7793874 - 12/23/07 09:31 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Drewwyann said: I don't want to let it go though. I just can't explain what happened, and I want to delve deeper into it and find out what it was, but I can't because I don't know what it was.
It was so negative though. So severely negative. Whatever it was, it came in and smashed me like a cannon ball.
My heart sank, and I felt so victimized and helpless.
It was one of the worst feelings I've had in a long while. But I don't know why it happened. I can definitely see why some people wouldn't be able to take LSD.
It really did scare the hell out of me. But it was so beautiful in how it did it.
We were all sitting there, with a lit bong between us in a circle, and no one was talking.
So i start mumbling, sort of commenting on how pathetic we are, that we are on the floor with a bong, instead of the couch. And I was really just talking in order to get some one else to talk. It was so quiet, and making eye contact was weird without words.
So whenever I started mumbling, they began to look at me. And then they were asking me why I was mumbling, I asked them why they were looking at me, and it went on, and then it just got so weird I can't explain.
It was so negative though. I hope some of my explaining has done a justice.
Just remember that no experience in life is inherantly negative or positive. Everything just is. It's the interpretations and labeling we attach to experiences that create the impression of negative or positive at all.
I wonder why you chose to react to the experience so negatively? Why were you uncomfortable with silence? Why did you need the presence of words to feel comfortable?
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: MOTH]
#7793878 - 12/23/07 09:33 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
MOTH said: Why were you uncomfortable with silence? Why did you need the presence of words to feel comfortable?
My interpretation? Because psychedelic experiences awaken in us that stirring that first gave birth to self-awareness, and language is our attempt to reconcile our anxiety with the fact...but hey, maybe that's just me.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: enesi]
#7793894 - 12/23/07 09:37 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I dunno. I know I shouldn't follow it, and I can't even, but it was just so...
I wish I could explain it. You put it pretty nicely.
Social interaction... What a weird thing....
I just need to sleep. But I'm way too far into the trip to even think about sleep yet.
I find myself hating myself in ways. But in that, its beautiful.
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 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
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CokedUpHobit64




Registered: 10/01/07
Posts: 2,053
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: Drewwyann]
#7793903 - 12/23/07 09:39 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I've had plenty situations like this. Bad weed=bad vibes
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So good to see you, I've missed you so much.
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: Drewwyann]
#7793904 - 12/23/07 09:40 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Drewwyann said: I find myself hating myself in ways. But in that, its beautiful.
Try and work past that initial revulsion and just realize...tripping provides you with a wonderful opportunity to take some time to really work on yourself, as a human being, simply by experiencing yourself and sort of conversing with yourself...look at the things you don't like about yourself and think on them.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Hmm...I guess communication could be considered a result of anxious self-awareness seeking support and validation from neighboring universal bodies. It seems that modern minds grow restless and uneasy in silence (without verbal validation) and that interests me for obvious reasons, because I am one of them.
To the OP: I was probing deeper out of curiousity. It just seemed according to your tale like you got uncomfortable with the situation (setting) and it sent your trip in an unexpected direction. But you seem exhilarated by it so ...
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outhere4
Anomaly


Registered: 08/07/07
Posts: 457
Last seen: 14 years, 5 months
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Sure, it may be awkward some times when you're communicating with others. We all walk around the world with an I perspective, all living out our respective lives. Of course, we're all the same, we have an infinite nature that defies labelling and restrictions, attempts at such, including labellings by you of the sitting on the floor as pathetic as well as your friends thinking you were weird for mumbling really only serve to complicate understanding. Understanding of the experience, it was what it was man, laugh at it. There wasn't anything to the situation except for the feelings that you created for yourself, your interpretations of the events and consequent thought and response patterns. Or maybe its just the weed, either way man, don't sweat it, you'll be alrigghhttt
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: MOTH]
#7793933 - 12/23/07 09:51 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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It wasn't that I needed there to be talking, I was more or less just talking to myself, and I thought that they were partly listening.
Then they looked at me with the "what the fuck are you talking about?" look on their face.
So awkward....
--------------------
 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
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azuresense
SpaceTumbler



Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 132
Loc: Sunshine State of Darknes...
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: outhere4]
#7793937 - 12/23/07 09:54 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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yea i know where you were at. in about a year you'll be at this point..."why the fuck do i communicate with people at all?" and when you run out of answers to that question you'll be at the point i'm at...
-------------------- "Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party.” ~Winston Churchill
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CokedUpHobit64




Registered: 10/01/07
Posts: 2,053
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: Drewwyann]
#7793947 - 12/23/07 09:57 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Drewwyann said: It wasn't that I needed there to be talking, I was more or less just talking to myself, and I thought that they were partly listening.
Then they looked at me with the "what the fuck are you talking about?" look on their face.
So awkward....
They don't sound like too good of tripping partners. When your tripping you should be able to go absolutely crazy and babble incoherent rants without your friends criticizing you in any way.
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So good to see you, I've missed you so much.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Quote:
CokedUpHobit64 said:
Quote:
Drewwyann said: It wasn't that I needed there to be talking, I was more or less just talking to myself, and I thought that they were partly listening.
Then they looked at me with the "what the fuck are you talking about?" look on their face.
So awkward....
They don't sound like too good of tripping partners. When your tripping you should be able to go absolutely crazy and babble incoherent rants without your friends criticizing you in any way.
Yeah, that's an excellant point.
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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exactly!
But they decided to gang up on me and make me feel like such an asshole.
gah... I love earth. What a sweet planet we have.
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 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: MOTH]
#7793975 - 12/23/07 10:04 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
MOTH said:
Quote:
CokedUpHobit64 said:
Quote:
Drewwyann said: It wasn't that I needed there to be talking, I was more or less just talking to myself, and I thought that they were partly listening.
Then they looked at me with the "what the fuck are you talking about?" look on their face.
So awkward....
They don't sound like too good of tripping partners. When your tripping you should be able to go absolutely crazy and babble incoherent rants without your friends criticizing you in any way.
Yeah, that's an excellant point.
I definately think that is the last time I'm tripping with them. The one of them, I've tripped with before, many many times and hes a cool guy (might be reading this right now). And I would love to trip with him again.
But the other two that were there, were so weird towards me. I guess it wasn't just me, They were definitely not the most chill people to trip with, and I don't think I'll do it with them again any time soon.
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 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
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opensaysme
Be Here Now



Registered: 07/15/07
Posts: 1,649
Loc: NJ-NY area
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: Drewwyann]
#7794076 - 12/23/07 10:33 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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My first time on real acid was on three strong hits with a few people around besides the normal crew i chill with.
At some points the folks who were outside my circle of friends made me feel so uncomfortable. It wasn't their fault they just weren't used to being around people who were tripping. If i was doing something odd, they would chatter about it between each other like i couldn't hear what they were saying and it just made for an annoying, overly self-conscience portion of the trip.
I agree that people you trip with should be open minded and ready to roll with any wild shit you come up with, as long as it isn't causing harm to anyone.
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daytripper23
?


Registered: 06/22/05
Posts: 3,595
Loc:
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Re: Social Awkwardness. [Re: Drewwyann]
#7794124 - 12/23/07 10:47 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Dont blame anyone for awkwardness. Communication is always a two way street. I dont have too much to say, but I really think Moth put it quite well in this post.
Quote:
Hmm...I guess communication could be considered a result of anxious self-awareness seeking support and validation from neighboring universal bodies.
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