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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

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please help!!
#7769686 - 12/17/07 01:39 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Hello, perhaps some of you know me from before. My name is jonathan and I feel I am in big trouble.
I have lived my life as several years as a Christian. All of what I thought to be true was based upon my belief in a comprehension of God's spiritual eternal nature. But very recently that changed very much.
To put it shortly, if what the beings that are talking to me is saying is correct, or the beings I perceive, humanity is doomed forever.
A harsh reality has awaken me to the realization that I cannot be realistically logical, because the intuitive comprehension I thought I once had turned out to (seem to) be another being and group of beings that control humanity, and the comprehension I thought I had of God was really of a being I do not know who truly is but is supposedly satan and God at the same time, fooling humanity. They are evil but can pretend to be very good and preject lies into you mind.
If what I perceive is true, they intend to make me the or an antichrist and help to destroy humanity before they throw me into something like a lake of fire along with the rest or most of humanity as well.
It makes sense now to consider that a God of love would not send people to hell for eternity. I realize now that I accepted that blindly. Also the idea that God would require the slaughtering of animals and shedding of blood for remission of sins does not make sense, and there is no explanation given in the bible. The best explanation I have is that this being or beings who claim to be God are very evil and want to smell the nasty smell of meat and death and watch as animals are killed and lives destroyed. Why not just forgive humanity? Why wait so long?
I don't know if I will convince any of you, but I have to try, I cannot give up. Because if what I perceive is correct, and if what they are saying is correct, I am doomed, and so are you all. Unless we can find a way to overcome. There is no way to do this if you choose evil. There is evil, and there is good. And these beings seem to hate good very much.
Please help me,. I am serious. We can meet up an d talk about it. I am lost and confused and I am trying to find a way.
I am convinced these beings are real. I know this contradicts what I know to be logical, but I have no choice.
Consider that the symbol of ishtar the sumarian goddess is a dove. But the holy spirit is a dove also. Once you uderstand that men and women were supposedly created in the image of God and his church it makes a lot of sense. They seem to be made by the same beings to control and deveive humanity.
Drugs are also seemed to control humanity.
The illuminati culminate in 13, that is their number. The cannabis plant also has thirteen leaves.
Mushrooms are also used to deceive humanity if what these beings are saying is true.
I believe in love and righteousness. I don't know if there is some greater being out there that will save me, or if we can save ourselves, but I am going to try. If there is no God, then I still love righteousness, and believe there is nothing greater to live for.
I must say I cannot hold to the ten ommandments, so please have mercy, and don't attack me for being a fundamental, and have mercy if you can.
Please consider what I am saying.
*edited your personal info for safety reasons* If you want to talk please hurry and come talk to me because it is your life that could be on the line also.
I don't know how much o what these beings are saying is true, it seems possible if they are real they are just toying with me. I don't know how much of my mind is my own. But I know I have a mind of my own and I am me. I know I am very special.
206 is the number of high priest of the order of the mystic circle. I believe I was deceived to put that in my name. It seems these being s have controlled all humanity like little sheep and make them go and do what they want to do.
I believe in love though, and I believe that there is a possibility that you can have love also.It wouldn't be the same love of the bible, because without God, elements of God's love falls apart.
They have told me a number of things: they are from a timeless abyss, they are spiritual creatures from another dimension.The say they hate love because it is weak. They have said there both is and isn't good beings that could help me. I can't rely on what they tell me, they do not seem to be trust worthy, but from I have perceived that can control matter, and electricity, and your mind. I don't know whether i have a spirit or not, but I don't see why I can't.
They also said that the universe is their creation and that everything is intrinsically evil in substance because of their nature. Please reply back asap and come and help me please!!
PLEASE HELP! I AM SO SERIOUS!
Edited by coda (12/17/07 01:49 PM)
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
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What are you on right now?
I AM SERIOUS!
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
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Re: please help!! [Re: Rose]
#7769735 - 12/17/07 01:49 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I don't think he's "on" anything
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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coda
Banjo Goiter



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Re: please help!! [Re: Rose]
#7769737 - 12/17/07 01:49 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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i don't know, but i do know that cannabis does not have thirteen leaves.
-------------------- To get really high is to forget yourself. And to forget yourself is to see everything else. And to see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe. And I think every human being should be a conscious tool of the universe. . . . -JG i really am glad you came back to us instead of taking the other path. *hug* -A_S (RIP your final words to me will never be forgotten)
 Don't fuck with the laughing jesus.
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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

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Re: please help!! [Re: Rose]
#7769740 - 12/17/07 01:49 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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this is no joke, I am totally serious, please consider what i am saying, if you think about it it makes a lot of sense!
Think about how all music in this world has darkness, ALL OF IT That's because it seems perhaps they don't want any good music in this world because it could help to liberate humanity.
Have you ever been in a room and heard that faint whisper of music, and it's so dark and eery, and you've never heard it before? It's very likely them.
Please consider what i am saying, and gaurd your minds because they can prject lies into your mind and brainwash you from what I perceive.
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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

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Quote:
i don't know, but i do know that cannabis does not have thirteen leaves.
yes it does, it can have up to 13 leaves.
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WScott
´ ɑ `▽ ᑲᓇᑕ



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Re: please help!! [Re: Rose]
#7769746 - 12/17/07 01:51 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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How are you communicating?
and.. two things
1. What you are saying reminds me a lot of this. 2. Type 'spoon guitar' into youtube and tell me that is dark music.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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This Donnie Darko shit doesn't belong in this forum.
We're neither paramedics, shrinks, nor exorcists.
This thread should be moved and the personal address should be removed.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
Edited by Rose (12/17/07 01:57 PM)
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CureCat
Strangest


Registered: 04/19/06
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Jonathan, your posts entertain me a great deal, and I thank you for that. I have no idea what you are saying, and I don't think any of my advice would help you, or make you feel any better about humanity.
You sound like you are under the influence of LSD or a similar chemical.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



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Re: please help!! [Re: Rose]
#7769767 - 12/17/07 01:53 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I agree that the address should be removed, but maybe the thread could be moved in physical and mental well being?
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
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Xactly.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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ShroomMan420
91' Til Infinity....



Registered: 01/09/06
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Re: please help!! [Re: Rose]
#7769775 - 12/17/07 01:55 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Huh?
-------------------- I am excited for my thoughts to become positive and of lifeful things instead of negative and suicidal things - Oceanshore23Forest
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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

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no please don't remove the adress I meed help!!
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CureCat
Strangest


Registered: 04/19/06
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Also, don't give out your personal info like that. It is especially dangerous to do so in a state of mind like you are now.
>I know I am very special.
That sentence along with the paranoid and irrational nature of your thread leads me to believe you are almost certainly on some sort of drug.
Out of curiosity, how are these entities communicating with you?
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CureCat
Strangest


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Re: please help!! [Re: CureCat]
#7769813 - 12/17/07 02:01 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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>no please don't remove the adress I meed help!!
No, you cannot give out your personal information on a public site like this!!! It will bring more trouble to you than help!
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CureCat
Strangest


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Re: please help!! [Re: CureCat]
#7769825 - 12/17/07 02:04 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Furthermore, please provide evidence to show why you are "special" and why these entities can deceive us with their lies, yet you are not effected by their tricks??
Jonathan, what drugs have you taken in the last 48 hours? I am serious. I'd like you to address this.
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dorkus
don't look back
Registered: 04/12/04
Posts: 1,511
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Most of what you describe is exactly what I experienced during a psychotic break several years ago.
Everything comes together as a conspiracy and all connections are suddenly so obvious, like you have an overview or the full grid imprinted onto the map.
Maybe it is some kind of revelation not to be taken so literally?
I do believe you will be grateful for this experience later in life. Ram Dass wrote 'the Devil Knows not Who He Works for', think about this and about the backside of a coin. About perfection being stillness where nothing ever could happen and therefore 'evil' (friction, resistance) being the prime and only mover. Therefore you in a weird way live in the shadow of perfection while your Self is the centre itself, the non-local. In this way 'they' are right, but you have just put faces and personalities on your revelations and spun them into human language - thus made your own MYTHOLOGY as a map for the territory.
The path leads through yourself. Maybe the Illuminati is reality itself illumining its' shadows through different peeking holes. The person (ego) obscuring the peeking hole from flowing its' essence inthrough itself is seen as something evil. But this 'evil' darkness is how resistance looks. If you zoom out the branches will come into context and nothing will be threatening. It will be a GAME. And you are pushing yourself out of yourself.
YOU MUST EMBRACE HOPELESSNESS.
I know you must be terrifed right now. Breathe slowly. Don't panic. PM me whenever.
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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

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Re: please help!! [Re: CureCat]
#7769880 - 12/17/07 02:17 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Furthermore, please provide evidence to show why you are "special" and why these entities can deceive us with their lies, yet you are not effected by their tricks??
Because I know, and you should know by now that I am a very unique person. From what they are saying, I could be brainwashed just like everyone else, but they do not because they want to torture me and want me to willingly help them destroy the catholic church. I don't know how much of this is true, but from whatI have seen YES they do have power, and I have no taken any serious hallucinagens, I have smoked some weed last night, but I am completely sober now, and this has been happening over a period of several days. I hear their voices right now! I am serious, I know this sound like some stange bizarre nightmarish hallucination, but I am telling the truth!
Please, I know gnostics and luciferians , they must know more of what I ma talking about. They have minlged lies with the truth. They have revealed truth in mysteries including Christianity and hebrew relgion that reveal about them. This has to sound familiar to them and others..
I have never even done mushrooms and havn't done lsd in years. I am being totally honest, and I need help now!
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Re: please help!! [Re: CureCat]
#7769887 - 12/17/07 02:18 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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jonathan i hope you're okay man.. please don't watch any television or listen to the radio for the next little while
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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

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They have told me I am the ONLY ONE, and if you know about lucifarian religion, you have to know what this means!
The say they intend to throw me into the sun, I don't know how true this is or not.
I am not psychotic, I feel I am a very sane person.
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Silversoul
Rhizome


Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Quote:
This has to sound familiar to them and others..
As a matter of fact, it does sound familiar to me. It sounds like my thought process when I'm having a bad trip. I suggest going to a psychologist and getting checked out for schizophrenia.
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CureCat
Strangest


Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 14,058
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Okay. I agree, you do need help. Please take my advice to heart, and see a psychiatrist or psychologist. If they are speaking with you, and you are not under the influence of any other drugs, I believe you are likely schizophrenic.
I know well what schizophrenic episodes, including drug induced schizophrenia look and sound like. You are having an episode. I would see a psych doctor and tell them it is an emergency, or simply go to the ER if you feel like taking actions based on what you are being told.
Best regards...
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CureCat
Strangest


Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 14,058
Loc: clawing your furniture
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Quote:
jonathan_206 said: I am not psychotic, I feel I am a very sane person.
The friends and people I have seen go through schizophrenic episodes have said EXACTLY the same thing. They believe that they are being completely rational, and that what they are hearing is from somewhere outside of them, when in fact, it is from inside their own heads.
They think that those who insists they sound "crazy" are either in on the conspiracy, or that they are being closed minded and stubborn.
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dorkus
don't look back
Registered: 04/12/04
Posts: 1,511
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Well, just know that these exact same things have happened to others. These episodes decode in the language of Mythos and archetypes. Everyone is special and the only one in the world of stories. You are the hero with a thousand faces, and I peeked through the exact same face that you do now. I am not that special.
Listen to the voices. Feel them. Try to locate where they are coming from. Don't take them seriously. Don't reinforce them by pushing them away.
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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

Registered: 09/24/07
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Is anyone out there who understands? Please help, please at least let me show you what I know.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
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Quote:
jonathan_206 said: They have told me I am the ONLY ONE
Who are THEY?
Have you been taking any kind of uppers?
I saw you posting about them recently.
Coke? Meth? Speed? Crack?
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Diglottic_Sun
Stranger in astrange land


Registered: 12/15/07
Posts: 35
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Schizophrenia is characterized by profound disruption in cognition and emotion, affecting the most fundamental human attributes: language, thought, perception, affect, and sense of self. The array of symptoms, while wide ranging, frequently includes psychotic manifestations, such as hearing internal voices or experiencing other sensations not connected to an obvious source (hallucinations) and assigning unusual significance or meaning to normal events or holding fixed false personal beliefs (delusions). No single symptom is definitive for diagnosis; rather, the diagnosis encompasses a pattern of signs and symptoms, in conjunction with impaired occupational or social functioning (Source: DSM-IV)
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CureCat
Strangest


Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 14,058
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JONATHAN, you are being VERY stubborn. Is there anyone close to you?? Can you tell them?
NO ONE sane is going to understand, because you are not being sane right now. Understand this, stop resisting reality- it is not "evil".
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CureCat
Strangest


Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 14,058
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Thank you Diglottic.
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dshroom
balshem

Registered: 08/30/06
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go to the emergency room.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: please help!! [Re: dshroom]
#7769972 - 12/17/07 02:48 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
dshroom said: go to the emergency room.
This is so ignorant  He needs help, real help, not some medicine to put him into a neuro vegetative state.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
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Re: please help!! [Re: dorkus]
#7769975 - 12/17/07 02:49 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
dorkus said: Well, just know that these exact same things have happened to others. These episodes decode in the language of Mythos and archetypes. Everyone is special and the only one in the world of stories. You are the hero with a thousand faces, and I peeked through the exact same face that you do now. I am not that special.
Listen to the voices. Feel them. Try to locate where they are coming from. Don't take them seriously. Don't reinforce them by pushing them away.
Yes, this is the best advice by far
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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dshroom
balshem

Registered: 08/30/06
Posts: 174
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i respectfully say again, go to the emergency room. how can anyone here help him if we have no idea where he is or what his real problem is. if he truley needs immediate help he should go to the er immediately. he sounds quite upset. for sure i am not ignorant.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
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Re: please help!! [Re: dshroom]
#7770003 - 12/17/07 02:59 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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You surely are ignorant to what happens to someone in his situation when they get to the emergency room.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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CureCat
Strangest


Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 14,058
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Re: please help!! [Re: dshroom]
#7770004 - 12/17/07 02:59 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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It's not ignorant advice, though it may be a bit drastic. I will be the first to tell you not to trust doctors completely, but when you are as confused as jonathan is, you need to see someone trained to deal with this. I would recommend a psychologist or psychiatrist.
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vigilant_mind
unfazed



Registered: 01/19/07
Posts: 1,717
Loc: boco
Last seen: 14 years, 6 months
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Quote:
MushroomTrip said:
Quote:
dshroom said: go to the emergency room.
This is so ignorant  He needs help, real help, not some medicine to put him into a neuro vegetative state.
I agree. Don't go to the ER. There's a chance they'll give you thorazine or some other sort of psychologically enslaving pharmaceutical. I suggest visiting a psychologist ASAP.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
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Yes
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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dshroom
balshem

Registered: 08/30/06
Posts: 174
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
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sorry, not so. you may not think it is a good idea but in ordder for you to know if i am ignorant you would have to know my training and experience. it is ok to think what you want but, from what i hear this young man saying he is danger.
sir, this ignorance argument is a diversion, i suggest you get some sort of professional help asap.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
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Re: please help!! [Re: dshroom]
#7770045 - 12/17/07 03:08 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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"Professional help" is much wider than E.R. E.R. should be out of the discussion because he will be given medicine, this is the "help" they give you. As for your training and experience - I couldn't care less. It does not sustain anything since there are lots of "professionals" who suck at their profession.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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don't go to the E.R.. don't fucking go. jonathan, i've been in that place where you are now and i am telling you that it's just your mind having a mind of it's own and having fun with you. even if all that shit were even true, it's just one of infinite realities that is possible and it's not going to be able to sustain itself under the pressure of more convincing and comfortable realities
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
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A diagnosis such as this can't be made over the internet. Not by this group. Doctor or shrink. Either will help more than we can.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Re: please help!! [Re: Rose]
#7770087 - 12/17/07 03:23 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I am confident that I would be more help to jonathan than either a doctor or a shrink
check out this thread:
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/7041323
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
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Confident enough to take the liability that comes with the responsibility?
I am glad you feel that way.
We've all helped people.
But this is not the place for such discussion... nor is this the group to lead it.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
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And I am sure that the only one who can help joanathan is himself. And that a good therapist might help. A lot.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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I agree. I just didn't want jonathan to end up in some mental hospital where he gets pumped full of drugs every day or something like that
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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I know.  Me too.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 767
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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I wish people would address the facts.
I'm truly worried that people are not thinking for themselves. I wonder If even I am.
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Silversoul
Rhizome


Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Quote:
jonathan_206 said: I wish people would address the facts.
The fact is that we have all read your post and have concluded that you show signs of psychosis. Please see a psychiatrist. We're all worried about you.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Quote:
They have told me I am the ONLY ONE
You have told yourself you are the only one. There is no 'THEY'.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Not to scare you Jonathan, but the two Shroomery member suicides in the last 6 years both had posts/mental states similar to yours.
Listen to your friends here - get PROFESSIONAL help ASAP!
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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 767
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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Quote:
You have told yourself you are the only one. There is no 'THEY'.
I think it's a given that standard methods of logic are inapplicable in this instance. Please consider that I really am hearing voices, just like you are reading my words. You assumed, assume again.
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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 767
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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AH please change my name
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biospun
homo sapien



Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 282
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
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unless you are making this up as a joke, no, you are not psychotic....your word is a lot to process right now... but i've been through what you were going through. Let me ask you this, what chain of events seemed to trigger this change in though pattern- concept of god, voices, etc. Were you sleep deprived, taking a lot of mushrooms, smoking a lot of pot and reading? You are obviously having panic attacks and high levels of paranoia due something, and cannot process all of the signals that come to you because of it. Calm down a sec, take vitamins, get plenty of sleep, stay away from caffiene...do breathing exercises- try downloading a guided kundalini breathing technique or read about some.
your friekin out about your role in life. Most of us here know that the workings of the world are highly influenced by many systems, -whether its the illumnati, masonites, the media, etc. these things poison your mind if u react to these subliminal messages with such a fight or fligh fury. chilling out is the first step to understanding. that's the only way you control your own thoughts. if you want anyone to take you seriously, you have to take us and our advice seriously. you continue to ask if anyone out there understands. are you not reading the posts? several of us have been through this type of thing. it was scary as shit when i went through it several years ago. You MUST use mental control on yourself in order to make decisions. I didn't go to councelling then, but i do now, and it helps, but i don't divulge everything to them. Only enough to let them know i'm friekin out. After you breath and try to stop your thoughts for a sec, go to an herb store. Buy some Chamomile-can be teabags or loose flowers. Gets some Skullcap as well. one capusule before bed. This will help with frustration. Chamomile helps to calm your adrenaline down enough that you can think for your self. There are other herbs to help, and don't be scared that these will rob you of your thoughts, they only allow you to relax enough that you can process all of the many things the world throws at you. Good luck. and please take our advice.
Edited by biospun (12/17/07 07:36 PM)
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NobleLie
Stranger
Registered: 12/17/07
Posts: 4
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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The part about God and the devil being the same thing intent on your destruction is a problematic judgment call. It might not be true.
It is quite possible that you have been deceived by the devil into thinking that the devil and God are the same, when they are in fact distinct beings. The good news is that God is greater than the devil and God will prevail in your life if you only remember that God is good.
Be well Jonathan
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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 767
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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Re: please help!! [Re: biospun]
#7771428 - 12/17/07 08:28 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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How can I be calm when why my entire reality has been shaken and there is a being inside of me that can project lies at my mind and heart, and constantly verbally attacks me with a number of other unseen entities that sound like creepy aliens harrassing me day and night?
I'm not sure If I want to take any drugs. I have doubts that they're even meant to beused. I am confused and I wish some people would come talk to me. I tried to smoke weed the other night and things got worse, I'm not sure If I want to try it again.
Now they were trying to tell me I am God and we are ying and yang and I have to achieve nirvana and suffer in the fires hell for thousands of years and then I will forget and they will destroy this place all over again in a never ending cycle. It is constantly about hell, they go back and forth.They really like to focus on hell and pain alot. I'm really confused honestly. The other one was that I am seperated from my other half or parts and we somehow have to make it back together again. It all sounds so rediculous I know it does, but I can't make this being get out of me, and I tried to tell my Dad but I think these beings influenced his mind. They are nasty evil creatures.
They tell me that there is darkness in light and light in darkness. There has to be a truth out there. I am convinced love is greater than evil, but they want me to believe it's not, that we are inseperable and eternal.
If they were just aliens from another world I would accept that a whole lot easier.
I don't even want to masturbate because this being inside of me tries to turn it into something nasty. They have been doing this for a long time. They have been haunting me for a long time. They try to get me to move and use my body in a way that is wrong. I can feel their evil presence, it's so nasty.
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NobleLie
Stranger
Registered: 12/17/07
Posts: 4
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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God will still be good, even if you are not.
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Grav


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Loc:
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
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Breathe go for a jog walk in the woods do some stretches take a hot shower and just feel the water stop thinking
you're just a human, you don't know anything
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dorkus
don't look back
Registered: 04/12/04
Posts: 1,511
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you are movement, a gleam of desire put in motion by your forefathers. hell is resistance to coming into your essence. hell is love burning your false impurities away so you realize your nature through a clean mirror. hell is standing with your back towards heaven, your backside will be ignited. you identify with your mind, which reflects you into this world which is nothing separated outside of mind. it is all the same out there, nowhere in no(w)space outside of time. you make it based on complicated patterns, endless links of filters organizing the chaotic flux of incoming void into an illusory perception of some kind of order. the devil is gods trickster boy who mess up your head until you give up completely and find that the only way out is through. this trickster boy is of course only a metaphor for certain forces, or certain qualities of life. actually hell might be burning you until you see it is not you who is on fire, the whole house is burning. then you wonder who is doing the looking, but i never found him. there is only looking. and a peephole hot as hell.
the door to heaven can be located in the bottom of hell. you see, everything is a circle. you are having some major revelations that will take a long time to process.
imagine hell and burning in hell as a metaphor for experiencing reality. the eternal wheel of samsara fueled by burning desire. This motion could not be fueled by perfection as perfection implicitly would never move out of itself. to move is to stretch towards something outside of oneself in space. but it is all you, you move in yourself, and are therefore never moving. this makes everything the same.
the part about you being the only one is linked with the part about you being scattered. It is ALL YOU. You are separated for the sake of union. Love is separated for the sake of union. holy means whole means hole means void means love means glue.
Light is darkness and darkness is light. This experience you are having will probably culminate in an impressive realization about everything being different sides to the same coin, and also about how every extreme culminates in its' polar opposite.
keep in mind that hell, love etc are just words. then forget. breathe and relax.
relax relax relax.
Edited by dorkus (12/18/07 12:50 AM)
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SuperPuma
Automation Nut



Registered: 11/06/07
Posts: 97
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
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Re: please help!! [Re: Grav]
#7772453 - 12/18/07 12:40 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Jonathan,
Welcome to the other side. Consider this your trial by fire.
You've peeked, and now you see how deep that rabbit hole really is.
Now relax and read on for a second.
Its really a lot simpler than you're making it out to be. Your natural response to such profound a vision is to take immediate and urgent action. Realize there is no urgency.
The cycles you see are absolutely real, but they are things of beauty my friend, not of sorrow.
These voices you hear, they're real alright, as real as anything can be real; but why do you listen so intently?
Just because they are there? Does merely saying something make it true?
Don't let the novelty of this particular magic trick get the best of you. You are listening to opinions, opinions designed to shake and rattle the foundations of your existence.
There are no rules anymore Jonathan, lets be smart about this.
Jonathan, return to yourself. Use the intelligence that brought you here to build yourself into total awareness, apply logic. Ask for explanations, and as you said, don't assume.
Read this post again, and for fucks sake get some fucking sleep bro.
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Crasher
αἱρετίζω



Registered: 03/13/01
Posts: 6,220
Loc: Tardy to the Party
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Re: please help!! [Re: dshroom]
#7772746 - 12/18/07 02:51 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Truthism just ruined my day...
-------------------- Give me silence, water, hope; Give me struggle, iron, volcanoes...
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benrules92
Tripaddict



Registered: 11/26/04
Posts: 790
Loc: Ont-hairyohhhh
Last seen: 1 year, 20 days
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Re: please help!! [Re: Crasher]
#7772758 - 12/18/07 03:01 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Best post ever
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igwna
The Cap'n


Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 8,016
Loc: New England, USA
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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all crazy people thnik they're sane. seek help my dude.
-------------------- I don't believe in cops, bosses, or politicians. Some call that anarchism. I call it having a fucking heart that beats.
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WScott
´ ɑ `▽ ᑲᓇᑕ



Registered: 07/31/05
Posts: 5,713
Loc: Nacada
Last seen: 9 months, 15 days
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Re: please help!! [Re: Crasher]
#7773286 - 12/18/07 10:22 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Firewolf127 said: Truthism just ruined my day...
Sry.
--------------------

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biospun
homo sapien



Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 282
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
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Re: please help!! [Re: WScott]
#7782221 - 12/20/07 04:18 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Jonathan???? are you still there? what happened? did you sort things out yet?
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fazdazzle
Wanderer


Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 1,796
Last seen: 11 years, 27 days
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Re: please help!! [Re: biospun]
#7784089 - 12/21/07 12:00 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I suggest you read "Spiritual Emergency," if at all possible. There is a difference between real psychosis and a deep mystical experience.
What did your dad say? Did you tell him everything you've told us?
Hope all is well, Jonathan.
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biospun
homo sapien



Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 282
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
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Re: please help!! [Re: fazdazzle]
#7793427 - 12/23/07 06:21 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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hello? JONATHAN? you still there?
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: please help!! [Re: biospun]
#7793454 - 12/23/07 06:35 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yeah, I hope he's all right
--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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biospun
homo sapien



Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 282
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
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still no word from him? i p.m.'d him also and got no response
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: please help!! [Re: biospun]
#7803256 - 12/27/07 08:57 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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He didn't get on in the last 8 days and six hours
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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biospun
homo sapien



Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 282
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
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shit, i'm worried. but maybe he took our advice and is in councelling. In that case, he may not wanna go to a sight like this one, may think we're evil or something. if he saw a shrink, i'll bet he'd tell them much more than was necessary about his life, and they'd tell him to stay away from influences like us. and being in such a manic state, he may have created an account and forgotten about it when he came down.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: please help!! [Re: biospun]
#7808129 - 12/28/07 05:53 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I am sure the problem is more easier. Perhaps he just needs some time alone to sort things out and he'll get back when he will feel like doing so.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Anarleaf
Teotihualto



Registered: 01/19/07
Posts: 156
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I think Jonathan is looking for truth in all the wrong places, this symbolism he spoke of is not substantial.
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Ginseng1
Elegant Universe



Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 3,310
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Doom is yet another illusion. Something for people to cry and "go-thru-hell" trying to get their heads around.
Just try to percieve beyond such realities and know that is just part of an infinite number of other realities. Try to see in the perspective of that which encompasses all realities. That "doomd" is just another slide-show, you don't always have to be "stuck" in any illusions. It's about the state of mind. And the state of mind is in everything, and in different mentalities. So none of them can be more real than others, since they are all made up of the same energies
We live, we die. What happens within that span, is up to how we perceive the realities we are a part of. Which doesn't seem to be the "right" one.
Feelins of doom is just negative energy to feed off of anyway  
-------------------- Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...
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Liquid_Dimension
Lighthousekeeper



Registered: 02/15/04
Posts: 4,413
Loc: Radioactive state
Last seen: 9 days, 5 hours
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Re: please help!! [Re: Ginseng1]
#7808617 - 12/28/07 09:07 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I think he may be 'schizotypal'
http://groups.msn.com/schizotypal/general.msnw
I've posted in that site a few times,I've experienced really crazy shit before...once on a pot a little bit and others while i was sober.As of now i'm pretty ok though.
You should maybe join that site Jon,it's extremely helpful!
--------------------
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mescalinaz
TheCapitator

Registered: 12/14/07
Posts: 117
Loc: NorthWeastFromTheEast
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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wow... man, uffffffffffff i think you misinterpret your visions. destroying catholic church is nothing bad. it's unavoidable.. we wont need them in few years
-------------------- We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Did we ever need them?
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 767
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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Just letting pweople know I am still alive. I am in a psychiatric hospiltal right now. Not much time to type and it would take to time to explain but I hope I get out soon. As of now I've changed my name to Ai not artificial intelligence, but ai as in aye captain, it in chinese for loving.
Hope to talk to everyone later, and hope you all think for yourselves.
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biospun
homo sapien



Registered: 07/28/07
Posts: 282
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
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Thanks for giving us that update jonathan. we were really worried. please keep us updated. I hope you get out soon too. I'm glad you took our advice. we care about you.
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appleorange
Rainbow Technician



Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 4,868
Loc: Reykjavík
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Re: please help!! [Re: biospun]
#7819816 - 01/01/08 11:53 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Hey Jon, great to hear that you're ok.
I hope everything turns for the better, be sure to update us when you get a chance.
*Much Love
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Quote:
jonathan_206 said: Just letting pweople know I am still alive. I am in a psychiatric hospiltal right now. Not much time to type and it would take to time to explain but I hope I get out soon. As of now I've changed my name to Ai not artificial intelligence, but ai as in aye captain, it in chinese for loving.
Hope to talk to everyone later, and hope you all think for yourselves.
Good luck jonathan, get well soon
--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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WScott
´ ɑ `▽ ᑲᓇᑕ



Registered: 07/31/05
Posts: 5,713
Loc: Nacada
Last seen: 9 months, 15 days
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Hi Ai. Glad to see a post from you.
--------------------

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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Quote:
jonathan_206 said: Just letting pweople know I am still alive. I am in a psychiatric hospiltal right now. Not much time to type and it would take to time to explain but I hope I get out soon. As of now I've changed my name to Ai not artificial intelligence, but ai as in aye captain, it in chinese for loving.
Hope to talk to everyone later, and hope you all think for yourselves.
glad to hear you're ok, jonathan! hope you get out soon
--------------------
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jonathanseagull
Cool!


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 993
Last seen: 10 years, 11 days
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I just saw this. I'm glad you've found your way into helping hands. Ultimately, you must help yourself. In the future, when you return to read these posts, I believe they may help you organize the situation in your mind. Many many people go through what you are experiencing now. I have. To label it, I'd call it a psychotic break. Many times, its a schizophrenic episode, often times with messianic qualities. That's what psychologists would call it. But you don't have to call it anything.
Having gone through it myself, I believe that I was previously completely mentally unhealthy, no matter how well I functioned. This was due to many reasons. The break-down really turned out to be a break-through. My cruddy foundation crumbled, and was replaced with a much more healthy and sturdy one.
The coming times will be trying times. You may experience existential issues with greater depth and understanding. Not just knowing about them, but a deeper realization of them. It may seem like a burden, but you'll find that it is also an opportunity for higher awareness and freedom from past problems. You'll gain a much broader perspective of self, others, and the world. You may begin to see that your "delusions" weren't completely delusional, but "mythological" and "archetypical". Don't take them literally, but percieve the symbolic meaning and how they relate to you and to all of us. Don't fight the changes that are being made in your world view. Take the time to become comfortable in them and relax in them.
I'm just trying to give you some words of comfort for your future. Remember that there have been many many many people who have gone through the same experience. I would look at it as a rite of passage. You were ready.
Check out some certain books, such as Joseph Campbell's "The Hero of a Thousand Faces", or Stanislov Grof's "Spiritual Emergency", as others have already recommended in the thread. Check out this blog: http://spiritualemergency.blogspot.com/ . It is about the experience you are having. If you need some optimism, try: http://spiritualrecoveries.blogspot.com/ for some recovery stories, and how almost every person tells how they wouldn't change their experience for anything, because it made them a much better person. It is a gift. It's an amazing opportunity for growth. Choose to see it with wonder, amazement, excitement, and joy, despite the truly hard times. Gain insight into your own thoughts and behaviors. You will look back and be like "damn, that was rough. But it was awesome. I'm so much more healthy and happy nowadays."
Rock on, Jon.
P.S. Another very short book you may enjoy that might offer insight into the experience is "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach. You are much like the Jonathan of the story, flying high and far, only to return happier and more helpful to those around you.
--------------------
Loving in truth, and fain in verse my love to show, That the dear She might take some pleasure of my pain: Pleasure might cause her read, reading might make her know, Knowledge might pity win, and pity grace obtain.
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a_guy_named_ai
Stranger

Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 767
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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I hope I get out of here real soon. They're making me take respiradol and I'm also taking adovans for my stress because it gets so bad. Hoepfully I'll be out by next monday. Then I will hopefully feel better. I'm getting ready to say say hello to a new me.
Ai
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soulcircus
Stranger


Registered: 05/09/06
Posts: 1,300
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Post deleted by soulcircusReason for deletion: .
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Hopi
Stranger in astrange land


Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 72
Last seen: 10 years, 27 days
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The voices - they're trying to confuse you. It's alright - calm down, accept things for what they are. You're just a normal human being, getting annoeyed by normal spiritual entities. They'll be gone soon enough. Take it easy, enjoy the small things in life. Have some tea with friends, take a nice warm bath. Go for a walk, sit in a cafe and watch the world go by. We're not in on the conspiracy, we're not ignorant. The doctors are going to help you. It's going to be fine!  Hope you get better!
-------------------- Ten thousand miles an hour plus We streak across the sky like dust And none of us know where or why We're like a jewel in the sky http://psychedelicnews.wordpress.com/
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spiritualemerg
Stranger

Registered: 03/28/07
Posts: 366
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Re: please help!! [Re: Hopi]
#7829153 - 01/03/08 07:31 PM (16 years, 29 days ago) |
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Hello Ai: Glad to hear that you're feeling better. Sometimes people need a bit of assistance when they're going through an experience like yours. I hope that you're feeling a bit better. Meanwhile, here's a few links that may be helpful to you at some point in the near future.
Quote:
What is a Psychotic Break? : A brief explanation of the process you've been through. Bear in mind that different cultures and settings may have different names for this experience. In this culture, the label most often applied is psychosis although I think "ego collapse" would be more appropriate. (I'm using the term "ego" here to refer to one's sense of self-identity.)
epocrates.com : epocrates is an online database that can help you research and understand more about the drugs you've been given.
How To Rebuild Your Life After a Breakdown : This link can help provide you with a bit of insight into how other people have successfully moved through this experience.
Those are just a few basics to get you started because what people need or want in the aftermath of such experiences will vary by individual. For example, some people simply want to put the experience behind them, others will find it necessary to understand what their experience was all about -- some may want both or something else entirely.
Obviously, there are others here who have undergone similar experiences and might be able to provide some support and assistance as you move on from, and integrate this experience into your life.
I hope you'll continue to pop in and let others know how you're doing and what you might be needing at that time.
Best of luck to you.
s_e
.
-------------------- ~ Kindness is cheap. It's unkindness that always demands the highest price. Blogs: Spiritual Emergency | Spiritual Recovery | Voices of Recovery | A Jungian Approach to Psychosis
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implee
Cyber Hippie


Registered: 07/27/06
Posts: 5,833
Loc: Houston, Texas.
Last seen: 5 months, 19 days
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I think the hospital should leave him in a room with some shoe laces for a while.
LOL OMG ROOOOFL
Edited by implee (01/08/08 04:03 PM)
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some1whoisntme
Stranger


Registered: 09/21/05
Posts: 882
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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No god. No satan. Everything........is. That's all.
-------------------- "Ignore the distortion you're forced to percieve and believe that what supercedes is love, but who agrees?"
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wyldeman007
Student



Registered: 06/03/06
Posts: 309
Loc: Los Angeles, CA
Last seen: 8 months, 28 days
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Are you a man of science? Just step back and look at yourself from outside the box. Meditate on this, when a voice or they appear, simply focus on that and nothing else. After your level of comfort has dropped and you become alarmed look at what popular opinion tells you. Regardless of the facts, your beliefs including your perception of reality are separate from others. You need to search for the self you were before this and then apply that to your new system of belief. Something has changed, it's that simple, you didn't just become aware of it, it was never there.
If anything you need to be chill about the entire situation, take it in and exhale it out, slow your breathing and relax. You need to find meaning in yourself and hold on to it tight because if you slip into the oblivion you're describing that's the real tragedy...
You are right about one thing, you can make them go away (the mind is a powerfully thing!) Just imagine yourself being a happy person, emulate this by thinking it over and over, do you feel a change?
If you start thinking suicidal thoughts or begin to find yourself in a helpless situation: seek knowledge from a professional, they really can make you focus on reality.
The best of health to you and think about one thing for me. If this was a genuine belief of yours, why would you post it in the mental health and well being forum?? Somewhere deep inside your subconscious, you are reaching out for help, so listen to your mind.
--------------------
"We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here." - Richard Dawkins
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