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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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In My Time of Dying [DMT]
#7765754 - 12/16/07 02:17 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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This event took place on Saturday Night/Sunday Morning Dec. 14/15 around 2:25 A.M...80 mg DMT freebased.
This was my seventh go at freebasing DMT, but the first in a while that I'd done alone. I had my apartment all to myself and the security of knowing neither roommate nor any unexpected visitor was likely to return home anytime soon. Still, I probably rushed into things. But how long can you meditate on DMT? I don't know. That's something to think about.
I had known all day I'd likely wind up smoking DMT that night. I had only had a couple of beers in the evening, didn't want to get too buzzed at all beforehand. After my roommates were gone I smoked a bowl of marijuana and settled in, clearing off the coffee table and arranging all the things I was going to need. I put on some classical music, set the lighting just the way I like it, and relaxed on the couch just taking deep breaths and posting on the Shroomery a little bit.
I decided not to wait around anymore, and just got down to brass tacks...I tipped 80mg worth of DMT into the pipe and then prepared a cold wet paper towel to wrap around the stem so as to cool the smoke down on its way to my throat. Rigged the lighter to produce a more intense flame...and set to heating up the DMT.
I listened to it bubble and snap a little and as the bulb filled with vapor I took the first hit, pulled it in for a long time and breathed it in down deep. As I leaned back from the pipe, the DMT had already taken hold after a few moments of sitting in my lungs. Before I even opened my mouth to exhale the vapors, my world had begun to crumble, dissolve, and stream past me like jeweled tapestries fluttering in the wind. The entire world was woven of crystalline jewels that were each shapeshifting - even the air - and then all of space became sectioned off in seemingly random boxes and vectors...
Meanwhile the classical music I had been listening to - an album by Philip Glass called "Songs From Liquid Days" - had became absolutely warped in a way that seemed to say that I was in some alternate version of the dimension I'd just come from. It was the same music, but totally different. As I lit the pipe once more and took the second huge hit, the music began to dance in the most abstract manner, and as I exhaled that second hit other, foreign music came in and merged with the Philip Glass. Where this other music came from, I have no idea.
And behind all that sound, was this wall of noise, this afterburn scream which seemed electronic and organic all at once, that was just streaming past the periphery of my mind, streaming and screaming through the entire experience, yet not disturbing at all.
There was some vapor left in the pipe so I took a third and final hit and placed the pipe down on the table. My eyes closed for only the briefest of moments and then I opened them, forced them open, and lurched up off the couch and out into the center of the living room, doing the ol' Johnny-Depp-as-Hunter-S.-style walk, like a four-legged creature up on its hind quarters for only the first time. I was on the verge of some fantastic laughter, simply navigating space as it navigated around me...all the space around me was alive. I saw liquid. I realized it was flowing out of me..my feelings...I felt like I was dying but it didn't bother me...until I felt liquid on me.
Suddenly I felt a drop of liquid, very concretely a single drop, run down from my elbow along my forearm, and then trickle down my hand. Immediately I thought of blood. I pulled up the sleeve of my hoodie and felt this weird pain from around the area of my tattoo...and I was convinced blood was leaking out of my arm somewhere. And then the other arm felt wet as well. I began panicking. And my eyes gravitated towards any red hallucinations...and as the world was made up of a lattice composed of every color shapeshifting into every other shade of every other color every single moment, well - yeah, insanity ensued.
I wound up crawling on the floor obsessively looking for proof of my own death, sure that there was blood somehwere and that I was truly dying. Of course, it was death I was experiencing I just didn't realize it was a temporary death. But for nine minutes (really quite long, about a full 3 minutes longer than the peaks of any prior DMT experiences I had. This really contributed to my feeling of dying because I was quite aware of time and agonizing over the fact that I seemed so trapped in a long moment. I was able to make out what song it was on the Philip Glass album and I couldn't believe that it had changed from the previous song considering that one had been about 12 minutes long.
I thought something had gone terribly wrong, and ended up sitting on the floor convinced that I had a wound I would never find, because it had already killed me, and this was death - sitting in my living room tripping insanely hard and filled with absolute despair and not being alive.
How silly. I sat on the couch again. And as soon as I could bring myself to open my computer I did, posting in my DMT thread in The Psychedelic Experience and practically crying as I waited for someone, anyone to respond, so I would know for sure I was really alive. I wanted to call my friends but it was so late at night and I didn't know who to call that wouldn't be pissed about being woken up or something.
notapillow responded, and I knew I was still alive. I tried writing with pen and paper and my writing came out completely unlike it ever did before..it was so straight and vector-like. it freaked me out. I was horrified by the way my own writing was coming out of my hand, so I just started typing instead, and communicating the experience immediately made me feel better.
I really thought I had died. And of course I had...but I could not deal with it. What's funny is that 30 minutes before I did the DMT I had read an interview with Rick Strassman in which he said:
Quote:
I also used to tell our volunteers that sometimes they may think they've died; and there are two ways to react to that. One is to freak. The other is to try and keep your bearings -- something to the effect, "Well, I seem to have died. Let's see what's next."
I should have let that soak in a little more. Ha. It sounds difficult, preparing to accept death...it seems worth meditating on.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster


Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Quality stuff as usuall. Always enjoy your posts.
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theorganicdomino
Psychedelic ZenBuddhist



Registered: 09/03/04
Posts: 1,855
Loc: Here & Now
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Quote:
I also used to tell our volunteers that sometimes they may think they've died; and there are two ways to react to that. One is to freak. The other is to try and keep your bearings -- something to the effect, "Well, I seem to have died. Let's see what's next."
Love that quote.
I am utterly jealous of all those who've experienced DMT, as short of doing an extraction myself I'm never going to see any, ever!
-------------------- "You've got to get hold of the thread of marching time, pull the fuck thing down, get on the end of it and pang yourself to the infinitude of absolute mind" Ken Campbell - Furtive Nudist "The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced" - Aart van der Leeuw
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Something really bizarre:
Two days later I am having phantom feelings in my arm from my imaginary wound..
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster


Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Wicked. Your lucky you didn't imagine losing your Goldstien. Sounds like it left you with a bit of psychological scar.
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Help on the Way
Slipknot420

Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 2,893
Loc: Another World
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Re: In My Time of Dying [DMT] [Re: Dreamer987]
#7770345 - 12/17/07 04:25 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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heh DMT .... yea i died too ...but its all good...thats just the beginning!
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*Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
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Yoschie99
nomad



Registered: 11/24/99
Posts: 3,149
Loc: center of earth
Last seen: 2 months, 17 days
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never too late to use the phone!
sounds like you got rocked to the core... just have to hold on and get past that panic...
i had one experience that had me feeling like i had died and wasn't coming back.. but, i gave into it and was greeted kindly by, "the voice".. and ended up having a more than enjoyable time.
oddly enough.. this makes me want to vaporize a little myself...

yos-
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: In My Time of Dying [DMT] [Re: Yoschie99]
#7771856 - 12/17/07 09:49 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Yoschie99 said:
oddly enough.. this makes me want to vaporize a little myself...
Funny. pretty much everyone I've told has been horrified and hasn't understood why I've been smiling while talking about it. It was a pretty grand experience.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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Phishe
Lysergic Bliss



Registered: 01/21/06
Posts: 2,908
Loc: Planet Earth
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Sounds pretty wild.
Can you take a low dose of dmt? Is it not as damn scary.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Quote:
OneLessForeskin said:
Quote:
Yoschie99 said:
oddly enough.. this makes me want to vaporize a little myself...
Funny. pretty much everyone I've told has been horrified and hasn't understood why I've been smiling while talking about it. It was a pretty grand experience.
did you read mine recently? the similarities are disturbing, and i wish i had remembered that quote (or been able to calm myself down). A very worthwhile experience, though...just wish i could've gotten passed it. maybe next time 
incredible
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: In My Time of Dying [DMT] [Re: demiu5]
#7773791 - 12/18/07 01:19 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Just amazing that one minute I felt my death imminent...and 10 minutes later I was looking at the pipe thinking about the mental preparations necessary for my next time..:)
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Quote:
OneLessForeskin said: Something really bizarre:
Two days later I am having phantom feelings in my arm from my imaginary wound..
dude you'll be fine, it might be a small case of conversion disorder, but all that is is some severe anxiety (most likely thinking that you've died) converted into something that disturbs physical functioning, which would be your arm pain.
But that sounded pretty crazy. I cannot wait to try DMT
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Devin
Fucked Up



Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 59
Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
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I don't know quite how I would react in a situation like that, but I'm sure it would be an amazing phenomenon. I am very eager to try DMT =).
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symbiotic
insighted


Registered: 12/18/07
Posts: 105
Loc: ok,nm,co,ca,or
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
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Re: In My Time of Dying [DMT] *DELETED* [Re: Devin]
#7781108 - 12/20/07 10:51 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Post deleted by symbioticReason for deletion: blah
-------------------- The greatest journey we can make is about 12 inches, from our heads to our hearts.
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frank84
Stranger
Registered: 04/17/07
Posts: 72
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
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Re: In My Time of Dying [DMT] [Re: symbiotic]
#7787687 - 12/21/07 11:58 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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i am very curious on DMT, what i dont get is why people want to try it if they experience death? that probably has to be the worst feeling in the world so why would u take DMT and go through those emotions
for that reason im scared of DMT
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: In My Time of Dying [DMT] [Re: frank84]
#7789541 - 12/22/07 03:53 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I just read this report...when the guy describes the part right after he says "am I dying?" christ...that is EXACTLY what happened to me.
http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=39857
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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Riboflavin



Registered: 03/05/05
Posts: 1,388
Loc: Midwestish
Last seen: 3 months, 9 days
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It sounds so beautiful and scary. I'm hoping that I too can try this someday.
-------------------- All that groks is God.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: In My Time of Dying [DMT] [Re: frank84]
#7793617 - 12/23/07 07:52 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
frank84 said: i am very curious on DMT, what i dont get is why people want to try it if they experience death? that probably has to be the worst feeling in the world so why would u take DMT and go through those emotions
for that reason im scared of DMT
because death is a beautiful and interesting experience/subject
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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Plok
Life is fractal


Registered: 09/08/04
Posts: 1,152
Loc: Los Angeles
Last seen: 2 months, 7 days
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I'm always far more scared before smoking it than I am while on it. I'm almost never scared while on DMT but I don't think I've ever done 80 mg.
-------------------- Just say NO to the War on Drugs.
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littlebirdie
Stranger



Registered: 09/15/07
Posts: 285
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A grand trip report, OneLessForeskin.
Have you listened to Philip Glass since? I wonder if it brings back the mantle of death?
Once on an ayahuasca journey the ground swallowed me whole. I felt my body being tossed inside the void by a small group of people who were wailing. Instant death, instant burial. I remember sighing, loud, wondering why my voice didn't muffle from the six feet of dirt over my head. I knew I was dead, the reasons unclear. I wanted to escape my body, be a spirit being. And that's how I woke from death. I couldn't separate the soul from the matter. And I found myself back on top of the soil. In a way a strange disappointment.
Best wishes, Birdie
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