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Anonymous #1
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My Pussy Hurts (Ouchy)
#7756057 - 12/13/07 09:43 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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So I get some bitches number today at panera bread, she was a hot little item, i sat at another table outside and smoked a half pack of cigs and like 3 cups of coffee before i got the nerve to approach her. She was sitting alone outside at a table with her laptop and shit. chomped a fucking bagle down like a champ she did. She has short brown hair, and black rectangle kind of glasses that made her look smarter i guess. The best damn part was she was clearly not wearing any panties, i could see half her sexy butt crack popping out of her pants and i can assure you there were zero panties on her, eh, whatever. She was kind of difficult to work with but i knew she was going to be the hottest chick i was going to meet today so i made it a point to score her number and set a date with her tonight at 9.
So I call her at nine and she didnt answer, so i said fuck that bitch and threw her number away and will never call her again. that is just too rude for me to deal with.
So then i call my friend (a unnatractive yet cool gal i just hang with) to tell her to meet me at the bar for some beers. She doesnt answer. 20 minutes later she calls me back and says she has other plans, nice enough, fine.
So then i decide fuck it, ill just go to a bar downtown and hopefully have some people to talk with there. I get to the bar and there is like nobody fucking there yet. So i get a bass ale and drink one and the bar tender bitch was fat and ugly and kept calling me sweety, i wanted to say "stop calling me sweetie you piece of shit". i was in a bad mood by then, irritated.
So i leave the bar and go to my vehicle and this hot ass blonde who was just completely smoking gets out of her car next to mine so of course i know well i have got to say something to this girl but nothing fucking came out of my pussy mouth. so i blew that one. she was smokin wearing tight blue jeans with a most perfect ass and i stood there watching it walk down the sidewalk and said "holy fucking christ that bitch is hot". so then i say fuck it, instead of going home im going to see where this girl is going and followed her down the block to another bar, outdoors with a lot more people and a band playing. so i scope the place out and it is kinda crowded and mostly older people and i just said fuck this im out of here.
so i drive out of there and pick up a six pack and come home to the stupid computer to drink it alone and i think i need a douche because my pussy is bleeding. what a fucking lame night.
fags.
if i dont have a better night tommorrow ill call you all fags again.
ill call you on your excessive faggotry and stick my bloody douch in your faces.
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Anonymous #2
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you're puttin the pussy on a pedestal man...
i always blast me some petshop boys when I'm feelin down. maybe this'll cheer you up!
*oliveplume
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Anonymous #3
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Anonymous #4
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so let me get this straight - you pussed out, and now you have blue balls
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Anonymous #1
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so everyone of my paragraphs started with the word so
so i dont care, ill just try again tomorow
so im not clicking on any pet shop boys gay band
so ill just go change my doush because this one is all bloody already
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Anonymous #4
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Quote:
Anonymous said: so everyone of my paragraphs started with the word so
you noticed that too huh
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Anonymous #1
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so i didnt completely puss out, i totally did my best to mack on some chick at panera and got her number and a date set
so she never answered her phone so i said fuck that girl, i dont put up with such rudeness of not answering her phone so ill never call her again, and if she calls me back ill totally just tell her im busy and dont deal with rudeness and all that shit and say by
so i did puss out with this other blonde girl, she was pretty much as hot as they get and any of you fags would have pussed out to i bet
soo oh well
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Anonymous #3
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Props for giving it a shot, even though you failed miserably.
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Anonymous #5
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Quote:
Anonymous said: you're puttin the pussy on a pedestal man...
i always blast me some petshop boys when I'm feelin down. maybe this'll cheer you up!
*oliveplume
that was nice and cheerie
may i add one of mine?
ta
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Anonymous #2
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lol,
i fuckin love the 80's.
i want one of those "choose life" shirts too 
*oliveplume
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Anonymous #1
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so i just clicked on olivepoons pet shop fags video and stopped it after about 10 seconds, that was so gay. olivepoon should be banned for excessive faggotri
so and then he said this
Quote:
you're puttin the pussy on a pedestal man...
so im running out of ways to start my sentences with the word so, so i havent been layd for a while now it seems, so at least im trying everyday ya fag
so i was not putting the panera bitch on a pedistal, i was just sitting there smoking and drinking my coffees waiting around to see if any other girls would show up, then didnts so i just went up to her and said hi, and how is your morning going so far.... so anyways, back to the bagel. she chomped that fucking thing down like a champ, and i was watching her do it kinda gettin a strange feeling about the girl - but she was hot, and after i got my coffee refilled i walked by her and noticed the whole no-panty sceem, i would have probably been more turned on if she had some kind of gstring or something colorful showing, so i just said well its pretty nice actually and eventually decided i would hit on her so i did, you fucking fags
so she wasnt easy to really even talk to, not as outgoing as me but i did an alright job getting her number and everything, she just didnt pick up her fucking phone, and she did give her correct number because i heard her answering machine and the girls name was amy - so i said fuck it, i dont put up with that shit and ill meet another girl tommorrw
so my pussy is really leaking blood now, i need olive poon too switch my doosh again because this one is all bloody again
so, fuck it
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Anonymous #2
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^
so, you need to fucking learn how to spell my name. OLIVEPLUME
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Anonymous #1
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so no i like olive poon better, and i already pmd all the key players in offtopic your new nickityname so your through, start up a new account
so dont go and post pictures of some chick your not even nailing, we all know you arent getting laid, , , unless that is the girl who shoves the dildo up your but every night?
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Anonymous #1
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so my name is olive poon, i post in the fucking anonomous forum and post my name after each post
so olive poon bo balla poon bo nana nana fanna fo falla poon fee fy fo olive, olive poon
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Anonymous #2
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haha,
that's a boy.
i wish you the best of luck in your future endeavours of identifying the opposite sex 
*oliveplume
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Anonymous #1
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lol
so dude, shut the fuck up and clean up all this blood
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Anonymous #1
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so wtf is an olive plume anyways?
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Anonymous #4
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Quote:
Anonymous said: that's a boy.
damnit...I was just about to say she was kinda hawt too
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Anonymous #2
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Quote:
Anonymous said: so wtf is an olive plume anyways?
it's what is called a euphony (which means, words that sound nice when put together). an oliveplume doesn't exist to the best of my knowledge.
*oliveplume
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous said: ^
so, you need to fucking learn how to spell my name. OLIVEPLUME
so i think oliveplume just came out of the closet and posted a picture of himself. that is olive poony right there!!!!
sooo fitting for your screenname , and now i can see why girls want to shove dildos in your buttox all the time
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Anonymous #1
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Yes that is me.
*oliveplume
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Anonymous #6
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nice purse, and is that lipstick...
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Anonymous #1
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so holy shit, i just found a little white mushroom in my lawn when i was smoking a cigarette outside in the dark.. i want to feed it to ol poony, rectally-delectably 
so holy shit, that is ol poonies newest nickname, "rectally-delectably"
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: ^
so, you need to fucking learn how to spell my name. OLIVEPLUME
so i think oliveplume just came out of the closet and posted a picture of himself. that is olive poony right there!!!!
sooo fitting for your screenname , and now i can see why girls want to shove dildos in your buttox all the time
oliveplume is "so" gay, or bi, or transexual...transgender, cross dresser or something.
so fuck yes, i totally agree, ol poonies newest nickname will now stand as "rectably-delectably". it is so official.
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Anonymous #2
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Oliveplume is prettier than all you bitches. You need to shut the fuck up.
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Anonymous #6
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I do not want to be pretty,I am man.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous said: so wtf is an olive plume anyways?
That is also what I have been wondering for a while now.
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Anonymous #1
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oliveplume just personal messaged me back and told me this:
"From: oliveplume
Hello, well, it is a strange story that began in the 80's when we we're listening to lots of the Pet Shop Boys (my favorite band of all time), and my buddies and I were drinking martini's (with olives;))... we got real loaded that night, and the boys convinced me to let them shove the rest of the bottle of olives up my ass.. I was really drunk, but it didn't matter that much, because I liked the idea. It was the best night of my whole life.. when I signed up for the shroomery I thought deep and hard for a good screenname that fits me best, and remembered the olive incident, and later that night I shat out a plume of a half bottle of martini olives into the toilet. I marveled at it, and the name just came to me as I sat their with serious olive-plumage. It was hours on the toilet that night, but all worth it if you ask me I like to experience new things and listen to the Pet Shop Boys!~
Yours ever so truly, oliveplume "
And that is all he wrote. That is the story. I omitted my own screenname from the PM because I know him personally, we met on Craigslist. :wink-wink: Thank you Craigslist, Thank you oliveplume, I think you're a real champ!
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Anonymous #4
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I believe he's going by 'rectally-delectably' now
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Anonymous #4
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yeah...it's official
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Anonymous #7
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Anonymous #2
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*Oliveplume (THE REAL OLIVEPLUME!)
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous said:

*Oliveplume (THE REAL OLIVEPLUME!)
So, its a new day, and oh my god my pussy hurts, it needs a big cock in it.
So i went back to panera a little while ago to get a cup of coffee and met Natalie. the second i walk in the door i see the sexiest women ive seen for a long time standing at the register by herself ordering some stuff. so i walk right up to her and stand like a foot next to her. shes ordering her bowl of soup and shit. then she fucking sneezes right on me. i say bless you, and then about 5 other guys said bless you after me. so i get my cup and standing there filling up my coffee with sugar. she walks righ tup to me with her tea and i meddiately started talking with her. and she appoligzed for sneezing on me, so she trys to put white sugar in her tea and i told her she has to use raw shugar instead so she did. then i grab the soy milk and brush my arm up agianst her stomach a little bit in the process and start preachinga bout how she should use soy milk instead (i do this shit to basically every body everythime i fill up my coffee). so we talk for a minute or two and she walks away. im still standing there and then she walks back to where im at to dump a little the top portion of her tea into the garbage and right there...my fucking pussy started to hert again, the first thing that popped in my head was to ask her if she wanted me to sit with her while she ate, but my pussy mouth and i totally fucked it up. she walks away and so do i. and yes, i am not kidding you this girl was one hundred percent gorgeous, friendly to talk to and completely by herself.
So i go outside with my cofee sit down to smoke a cigarette and then she sits down at a 2 person table inside right next to me except there was a window between the two of us. so she sets up her fucking labtop and eats her soup, so i drink my coffee sitting there, and slowly watch as older guys start sitting at tables next to her and theyre all sparking up conversation with her
So she wasfucking gorgeous, tall black high heels, perfectly healthy black long hair, clean sexy clothes, impecable nails and sexy hands, probably 21 (perfect age for me)and she looked half japanese or something, and for some reason i dont nomally go for asians but this chick had it in for her
So i go inside and fill up a second coffee and walk up to her and start a conversation. these other guys surrounding her were quite astounded by the balls i had and listened to what i was saying to her
So im like well im kinda busy this weekend but i want to take you out for a drink sometime during the week to get to know you better. she says well i dont date guys who smoke. i said, yeah i completely understand that, but ill tell you the only one thing that i will change about my self for a women is i will quit smoking for her, and i wont change anything else about myself for a women,, and i dont quit smoking for girls i just date, only if im in a serious relationship with her.
So we talk for another minute and i let her know if i see her again im going to get a date no matter what she thinks. so she was real nice and very cool personality so we parted on good terms.
So i go back outside and sit back down at the same table right next to natalies. So these two younger girls (18ish) walk by me and i said hey and bullshitted with them for a minute, but, they were kind of young and i dont really chase after girls unless they look 21 for the most part.
So this ginger bitch several tables down sees me talking with them. and starts starring at me, i just wave to her and keep smoking. the ginger bitch was sitting with some fat goth looking girl and i didnt even want to approach them,, that fat bitch would have ruined it all so i diddnt even talk to ginger. anyways, im not much in to gingers anymore.
So i leave the place with no numbers and my pussy is sore.. im on the rag and need some dick
So now im gonig out again somewhere soon and going to do this shit again somewhere else. Im gettin some pussy this weekend, you faggots.
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