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cam4eva
lostsoul
Registered: 11/03/07
Posts: 176
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
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Peaceful living what is the key?
#7743114 - 12/10/07 10:36 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Hi guys im in my low 20's and for the past 3 years I have been struggling to attain what I call peacefull living which is basically life with the feeling of being connected with other people. I was a very outgoing thoughtfull child when I was younger but as I went threw my teenage years I believe my growth emotionally and mentally stalled. I started getting into smoking weed, and not blame it on pot but if i look back on my life things werent going downhill until I started smoking. After dropping out of college I left my parents house to live with a friend in hope that I may find myself, and place in this world. After 3 years I can say that it mostly has just made things worst. I got arrested and put in jail for a little while and inspite of that I still dont "get the big picture" as my pops would always tell me. Ever since teenage years my thoughts have not been clear, I feel like I dont know what I want anymore in life. I have trouble concentrating on anything including something as simple as just talking to people and being open minded. A couple of times in the past year I smoked weed confessed myself to God and meditated and for a couple of days afterwards it was like everything was just so blissfull. My memory was back, my open mind was back , I was communicating with people, but more importantly I felt like I was truely connected with people, and myself. But the bad thing is those days arent consistent, and during those days i felt like it took all of my concentration(from having to block out all my thoughts and keep thinking on what I was doing at that very moment, to repeating this mantra of Lord thankyou for this action in regards to watever I was doing everysecond of everyday) to keep a positive attitude and although I noticed I was doing great with life it just felt such a heavy burden to constantly be focusing to that extent. I also feel I have lost myself because I cant see anybodies face for their face anymore, im not sure to focuse directly in their eye or on their nose while talking and its little things like that that just bug me out. I recently took shroom for the 1st time in hope that they would help me with those issues but I took a small dose and it barely had any effects, and right now Im just kinda lost. I consider myself very religious I am always trying to talk to God to find answers but its just so frustrating. I get angry when I see people communicating laughing chilling LIVING so easily and having to struggle so much just to feel alive. I want to get to a level where I am totally aware of the present and my thoughts, and able to control my emotions. I just want to be happy with my life and know my place, has any ever experienced anything of what I am talking about, and if so how did you help yourself? Everyone feel free to discuss.
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im_on_a_boat
Stranger

Registered: 04/06/06
Posts: 3,950
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Re: Peaceful living what is the key? [Re: cam4eva]
#7743210 - 12/10/07 10:56 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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damn that is a large block of text.
my only advice:
quit analyzing your life and start living it.
sounds like some inspirational speech bullshit, but if you are gonna analyze shit, find out what's wrong, then fix it.
what worked for me was 1. quit smoking 2. quit worrying 3. just let shit happen 4. make shit happen
sounds to me like you have fucked up in the past.
your dad seems like he knows what he's talking about.. maybe just listen to what he has to say..
good luck out there dude.
Edited by im_on_a_boat (12/10/07 11:02 PM)
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vigilant_mind
unfazed



Registered: 01/19/07
Posts: 1,717
Loc: boco
Last seen: 14 years, 6 months
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Re: Peaceful living what is the key? [Re: cam4eva]
#7743248 - 12/10/07 11:06 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
quit analyzing your life and start living it.
I agree with this. You can only analyze your life so much. At a certain point you become hypersensitive which only leads to you making things seem worse than they are. Thinking over the issue(s) again and again will only worsen the pain. You need to target what is wrong in your life and take direct action to fix it. That's the best route.
I've been in the shithole myself many times so far in life. For me, seeing a psychologist works best. This can be expensive, but damn it helps.
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JoseLibrado
return


Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 569
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: Peaceful living what is the key? [Re: cam4eva]
#7743256 - 12/10/07 11:09 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Wow, talk about seeing my experience in anothers. Man i can relate to this so fluently and the reason you are so distressed is simple...look around you when you are outside, do you see anyone with this type of attitude towards life?
The people we are around have a tremendous impact on us, especially if we are outnumbered. Think of each persons attitude as emmiting a vibration, and you'll begin to see why it is so easy for us to be derailed even after a tremendously enlightening experience.
I have had experiences of this nature too, feeling like im one with everyone, feeling at peace finally, feeling all to fearless and lovefull.
It really is a state of mind and it can easily be transfigured in the mix of all these commonly held mentalities. Easily.
Move into a smaller town, i would suggest. cities are the worst places for development that you can feel. It can really highs and lows in cities, where as in smaller towns people smile more, move slower and over are more open energetically.
Oh the littlest thing bug me out too. i think its our obsession with freeing our minds. And in this we fail, to acheive because achievment is never forced, rather moved into...what we seek is an awareness and awarenesses are not acheive. When you achieve that awareness, you notice this and become aware of your acheivement and in this we begin to deviate from staying within the awareness that we sought to acheive.
Confusing i know...but these places we want to go are within us, we are them. Can you achieve yourself? No. YOu can move into yourself, you can come into full awareness of yourself, but acheive yourself, own yourself, implies that you are seperate from yourself, like you are when you acheive, or buy your first car.
This is usually why i trail off...too. Wow like recently i developed a tendency to be paranoid about what everyone thinks about me to the point where i felt and believed that the fan was staring at me.I just cannot accept myself and irrational thoughts...yet irrational thoughts can be accepted, because they are just as important as rational thoughts...
logic says that if rational is to exist, and be experienced, then there must be something where we derive what rational is. The only thing that can show us what rational is, is irrational.
The reason is that knowing what a thing is, defining it, experiencing it..is only describing what makes it different and distinct, as something, from other things.
Ie. What is real? Describe it. Well real is, what is not false. But thats not the definition of real....is it? Well look at what it 'really' means for a sec then...real elongated means things that can be experienced. What does this mean? Well, it simple...things that can be experienced are a reflection of things that cannot...but how can we experience things that we cannot experience? Can you watch a porno where two colors, are sexing each other?
Here in this question you just experienced what you (could not experience) or in short form, what is false.
Kind of lost now...hmm. Right. So the experience you are in right now, is by this logic, just as important to you as the one you were in that lasted ten days, and the one that will soon come, through the cycles of life, which in nature includes this very call for assitance.
practical advice because i know if this does help it will eventually get lost in the sturggle of daily life...read taoism, read the conversations with god series...ooh ohh and check out www.ethericwarriors.com these dudes kind of know the science behind spirituality and thoughts patterns...it seems like there is alot against this type of opening of the mind man and we have the odds against us, but the truth is, it can only be suppressed until it explodes...wanna explode together? lol
keep in touch, and i cant say i dont accept you, cant say we arent one.
-------------------- The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution. And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change. Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems. Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....
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pacific blue
Stranger


Registered: 11/25/07
Posts: 18
Loc: North Coast, Calif.
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Re: Peaceful living what is the key? [Re: JoseLibrado]
#7743433 - 12/11/07 12:07 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Me and Jose are gonna disagree a whole bunch. He says he sees himself in you. I do too, but I see a host of different conclusions.
In order to listen to a person's problems and concerns, the first thing you want to do is listen to what bothers them, and then you want to examine the assumptions underlying those problems.
You talk a lot about connecting with people. Go back and read your own post. "I also feel I have lost myself because I cant see anybodies face for their face anymore …" What a profound, interesting sentence you have written down there. You have lost yourself because you can't find anyone else. Did you know that you define yourself through others? It's evident to me that you do.
That's an extremely common, extremely human thing to do. Congratulations. You're one of us. You're a human being with feelings and an ego and a need to be recognized BY OTHERS. By and large people define themselves through their perception of others' perceptions. Let me repeat that because the point is important and I don't want you to miss it. Pretty much everybody's self image is based on what they think that other people think about them. It's not what others actually think about them. It's what they assume or expect or fear other people think about them.
So when you tell us how you fear how you come across to others, you're only telling us YOUR impression of how you think you fit into the social realm. And YOUR impression is that you are disengaged. But this could be totally wrong. In your need and desperation to be engaged, to find connection with others, maybe people around you find you to be nice, sweet, sympathetic or thoughtful. But because you are lost in a jungle of your own making, you can't see your way out. You think you are disengaged and conclude that you must be.
Once you take responsibility for how others react to you by recognizing that your perceptions of their reactions are your own, your feelings of inadequacy will dissolve.
For example, maybe you don't like looking at other people's faces, but who said that is a bad thing? Maybe you are just an extra-sensitive soul and you wilt under the harsh light of another's face. Just because most people don't wilt or shy away doesn't mean your hypersensitive feelings are somehow wrong or illegitimate. You might simply be more sensitive, more capable of picking up on subtleties of emotional force inherent in the social exchange between any two people. Your feelings are no less legitimate than the social butterfly, who can talk to anyone and look them in the eye but completely miss the essence of others' souls.
Bottom line, stop apologizing for being you. So you're shy and withdrawn. That could simply mean you are extra-seneitive to the power of social exchange. Where most people see in black and white binary you see in a kaleidoscope of almost unbearably intense colors. You want to live your life with shades on that you can't take off, or do you want to be tripping with both the agony and ecstasy of an infinitely diverse and beautiful world?
Examine the assumptions of what you think you ought to be, and then throw them out. Rebuild your ego with your own definitions of the good life.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: Peaceful living what is the key? [Re: cam4eva]
#7744722 - 12/11/07 12:06 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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there is a lot of text in this thread that i haven't read, so sorry if this is repeating anything...
it seems to me that you have built up ideals of things you should want based on what other people a) want you to have/be or b) what you have been conditioned to want/be
the best advice in this thread i've seen is quit over-analyzing and quit worrying
just do some things, try new things, and DON'T be afraid to try them or fail (or succeed or enjoy)
also, don't be expecting psychedelics to suddenly change everything or make it clear. they can help, but sometimes can be more distracting
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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backfromthedead
Activated


Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,592
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: Peaceful living what is the key? [Re: demiu5]
#7744754 - 12/11/07 12:13 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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'also, don't be expecting psychedelics to suddenly change everything or make it clear. they can help, but sometimes can be more distracting'
Definitely, especially if already sensitive.
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