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Offlineboxcarguy07
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Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 3,942
Loc: SC
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Please critique my song
    #7736696 - 12/09/07 01:36 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)
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K, I re-recorded everything and now have a much better song.
Let me know if you like it, or if there's anything I can do to improve upon it!

The song is called "Will You Go?" and here are the lyrics:

------------------------------------------------
It seems, seems as if you're tired
Tired of the place where you reside
It would take a split second to flip the switch,
Redraw the map, change the way you get by.

If you go there
You'll return the ocean.
You'll return the evening.
You'll be returning everything you ever knew.

Oh, but to go there!
You'd return to spring time.
You'd return to twilight.
You'd return to everything you ever knew.

Now you're faced, face with a decision.
A decision, you've got to make up your mind.
Do you go there? Pondering all these questions,
Try to keep open, and don't be scared

To go there
Walk across the cobwebs.
Hear the ancients singing.
Wonder if you'll ever be the same again.

You listen.
Listen for the answers.
Embark upon a journey
Hoping that you'll never be the same again.

Will you go? (as nauseam)


--------------------
:musicnote:Music doesn't stop at the ears when it begins at the heart.:musicnote:


:psychsplit:"Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind."
            -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:psychsplit:


Edited by boxcarguy07 (12/09/07 08:14 PM)


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Invisiblelukeboots
fresh futuristic
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Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
Re: Please critique my song [Re: boxcarguy07]
    #7736944 - 12/09/07 02:35 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

not bad - the soloing definitely needs to be cleaned up a lot.. is that you going "wowww woww wowoww"? or is that a guitar? haha


--------------------

funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey


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Offlineboxcarguy07
Uno
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Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 3,942
Loc: SC
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: Please critique my song [Re: lukeboots]
    #7736975 - 12/09/07 02:44 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

oh crap, that stayed? I thought i took that out haha.
yeah that was my voice


--------------------
:musicnote:Music doesn't stop at the ears when it begins at the heart.:musicnote:


:psychsplit:"Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind."
            -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:psychsplit:


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Offlineboxcarguy07
Uno
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 3,942
Loc: SC
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: Please critique my song [Re: boxcarguy07]
    #7738122 - 12/09/07 08:24 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

updated


--------------------
:musicnote:Music doesn't stop at the ears when it begins at the heart.:musicnote:


:psychsplit:"Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind."
            -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:psychsplit:


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OfflineThePeruvianTorch
Cactidude

Registered: 09/11/05
Posts: 310
Last seen: 13 years, 8 months
Re: Please critique my song [Re: boxcarguy07]
    #7739873 - 12/10/07 10:25 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

cool man


--------------------
my techno: www.myspace.com/funkbungus
my acoustic:

www.myspace.com/icanplaythetambourine


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