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tiny_rabid_birds
Nocturnal



Registered: 11/08/05
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ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar?
#7717107 - 12/04/07 07:49 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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i sure as hell do.
these past couple of weeks have been chock full of highs and lows. really fuckin cool things will happen, then pretty damn shitty things will happen, several times throughout the day, and i'll be left uncertain on how to feel.
i finished my first term paper and had a slight break from work (yay), but then i bit it on my bike while fucking it and my knee up in the process (boo).
i find out i got a solid C on something i thought i failed the fuck out of (yay), then my headphones break (boo).
i get my new diesel passat (super fuckin' yay to the max), but its in the midst of one of the busiest end-of-semesters i've had in ages and i'm not sure i'm going to fair too well (pretty big boo, seeing has how this was supposed to be the start of a new end for me).
i talked to two of the more attractive ladies of interest during which time they made unnecessary flirtatious contact (yay), but then the gears on my bike straight up break, making it so i have to walk the stupid fucking thing home (boo)
is it just me, or does life love fuckin' with you like this? one minute i'm stoked about something, then suddenly something will go wrong and remind me of how terrible my luck has been.
gimme a break-down of your highs and lows, yo.
edit: btw, i'm not complaining, even though i realize that's what it sounds like. for the most part i stay fairly optimistic. i just think it's funny how things have been working out.
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate



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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
#7717184 - 12/04/07 08:03 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I've tried recently (with varying degrees of success, hahah) not to get too high or low, and focus instead on balance and clarity... "witnessing" life rather than being identified with my actions, my personal melodrama. Happiness that is dependent on external circumstances seems to be another flavor of suffering, and life does indeed seem to have a way of fucking with us when we think we're on a roll. The key for me is to develop an attitude of light-heartedness about the whole thing... I mean, do you think any of the things any of us is pissed (or happy) about matter at all? I don't think they do, but that's just my perspective.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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machination
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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: Lion]
#7717235 - 12/04/07 08:16 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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staying neutrally charged while enjoying life is just a matter of looking at lif in a gnu perspective, perhaps from a periscope? a precipice, a ponderously awkward memory,
are you using the write alchemy?
-------------------- "Have you not learned that your word is bond? Yes, my word is bond and bond is life, I shall give my life, before my word shall fail."
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Muppet
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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: Lion]
#7717241 - 12/04/07 08:17 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
bug said: I've tried recently (with varying degrees of success, hahah) not to get too high or low, and focus instead on balance and clarity... "witnessing" life rather than being identified with my actions, my personal melodrama. Happiness that is dependent on external circumstances seems to be another flavor of suffering, and life does indeed seem to have a way of fucking with us when we think we're on a roll. The key for me is to develop an attitude of light-heartedness about the whole thing... I mean, do you think any of the things any of us is pissed (or happy) about matter at all? I don't think they do, but that's just my perspective.
excellent advice
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Ravings of a Madman
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tiny_rabid_birds
Nocturnal



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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: Lion]
#7717281 - 12/04/07 08:27 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
bug said: I've tried recently (with varying degrees of success, hahah) not to get too high or low, and focus instead on balance and clarity... "witnessing" life rather than being identified with my actions, my personal melodrama. Happiness that is dependent on external circumstances seems to be another flavor of suffering, and life does indeed seem to have a way of fucking with us when we think we're on a roll. The key for me is to develop an attitude of light-heartedness about the whole thing... I mean, do you think any of the things any of us is pissed (or happy) about matter at all? I don't think they do, but that's just my perspective.
well like i said, i stay fairly optimistic. though i may bitch and whine, i do a fairly good job about not letting the blows get me down too much. so i agree that a light-hearted attitude is the optimal approach.
however, i can't say i agree with the rest of your perspective. i understand the whole "life is a trip, i'm just along for the ride" mentality, but if i were to allow myself to belittle my own actions to the extent that i were to consider myself merely a witness to my own life, i imagined i'd often get locked on the whole "insignificance of it all" sort of existential crisis that leads to depression. no, in the grand scheme of things those little events and material possessions that make me happy or sad have absolutely no significance, but i hate that point of view. but i like getting a charge from the little things. those little spurts of excitement accompanied by elevated energy and emotions are fun, and not all too destructive assuming you don't take it to some ridiculous extreme.
i like to think of life more pro actively. after all, we define our own reality. and though a more ego-centric reality may seem and actually be more self-serving, it doesn't have to be entirely. whether it be taking little actions throughout the day i.e. tipping well, being polite, smiling at strangers or larger more life-altering events like volunteering, traveling abroad, changing a destructive lifestyle habit; i feel it's best if i keep a pro active point of view and play an acting role in my own life to shape who i am, rather than just sitting back and watching life go on.
this certainly doesn't mean that i'm a constantly moving go-getter. in fact, quite the opposite. i'm very laid back, and i procrastinate more than any man should. so certainly i have a lot of work to do on playing that acting role. but i still feel it's best for me to keep that point of view, lest i enter into said afore mentioned crisis of existentialism.
i suppose this was a complete digression from the original thread topic, but i felt it pertinent in response to your own personal view on life. i'm not saying your way is wrong at all. do what works for you and keeps you happy. just saying that in my experience, its best for me to make more of an active effort in the role i play in life.
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razmablues
Biologist




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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
#7717295 - 12/04/07 08:29 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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i blame finals week... these two weeks are hell for all of america's college youth, lots of bad energy going around, just gotta keep your head up i guess
-------------------- soft silly music is meaningful, magical
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
#7717297 - 12/04/07 08:30 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I didn't know having a rough time could make you bipolar, it can result in depression episodes but in order to be bipolar you have to be seriously depressed for a few years not to mention the altered brain chemistry.
which reminds me of something a teacher said today that really pissed me off which was "I used to be bipolar..."
1. My mother is bipolar and from what she described it was nothing like that all, she was just down in the dumps for awhile 2. You can't just stop being bipolar, because its not curable, they can only try and help you cope with it.
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Tangerines




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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: razmablues]
#7717303 - 12/04/07 08:30 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Wooooooooo keystone light. 3 finals done, 1 to go!
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tiny_rabid_birds
Nocturnal



Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 15,653
Loc: estados unidos
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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: learningtofly]
#7717323 - 12/04/07 08:35 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
learningtofly said: I didn't know having a rough time could make you bipolar, it can result in depression episodes but in order to be bipolar you have to be seriously depressed for a few years not to mention the altered brain chemistry.
which reminds me of something a teacher said today that really pissed me off which was "I used to be bipolar..."
1. My mother is bipolar and from what she described it was nothing like that all, she was just down in the dumps for awhile 2. You can't just stop being bipolar, because its not curable, they can only try and help you cope with it.
i'm sorry, i didn't mean literally. and i didn't mean to press any sensitive buttons.
i just meant that lately life has been full of more ups and downs than usual. my mood and outlook has been much more unstable, topping off at craggy peaks and bottoming out in depressive stressed out valleys several times a day due to external events (not a chemical imbalance, or whatever reportedly causes the disorder). i didn't literally mean that i think i'm bi-polar.
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
#7717381 - 12/04/07 08:43 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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my bad sorry about that. but no pro, lately i feel like im getting fucked as well.
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ravin0fff
Stranger

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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
#7717406 - 12/04/07 08:51 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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a proactive lifestyle does not contradict with a "detached" sort of view of the world - we're all keenly aware of ourselves as quite important(and thus we still want to "improve" or make changes)
Quote:
tiny_rabid_birds said: those little spurts of excitement accompanied by elevated energy and emotions are fun, and not all too destructive assuming you don't take it to some ridiculous extreme.
the emotional attachment to external events that causes the elevated mood you experience due to "positive" experiences is the same that puts you in a depressed state when "negative" experiences come around.
(you seem to be separating the two, that's why i make this point)
destructive? well that's a matter of opinion. i would say so since it opens the door to a degree of "suffering"
beyond either of these states is something permanent and reliable most easily experienced when doing nothing
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tiny_rabid_birds
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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: ravin0fff]
#7717438 - 12/04/07 09:00 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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certainly it opens the door to a small degree of suffering, but that's the price paid for not being emotionally numb to the world. it's all a matter of personal preference as to whether you're interested in paying that price or not.
like i said in the first thread, i'm not complaining. hell, it's keeping life interesting. i'd rather be emotionally reactive to my environment than emotionally numb. while it may cause me to feel pain, it also causes pleasure. and with the right optimistic outlook, the weighted value of the moments of pleasure can easily outweigh that of the moments of pain.
maybe in a specific instance like this it would be more beneficial to tone down my emotional reactivity. however, it's not like i can really just flip a switch. and the emotional reactivity certainly isn't something i'd like to lose entirely. so i'll deal with the interesting times like this for the sake of keeping some flavor in life.
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RandalFlagg
Stranger

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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
#7718096 - 12/05/07 12:13 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Life likes to fuck with you man...get used to it.
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate



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Re: ever feel like life is conspiring to make you bi-polar? [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
#7718641 - 12/05/07 07:09 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
ver, i can't say i agree with the rest of your perspective. i understand the whole "life is a trip, i'm just along for the ride" mentality, but if i were to allow myself to belittle my own actions to the extent that i were to consider myself merely a witness to my own life, i imagined i'd often get locked on the whole "insignificance of it all" sort of existential crisis that leads to depression. no, in the grand scheme of things those little events and material possessions that make me happy or sad have absolutely no significance, but i hate that point of view. but i like getting a charge from the little things. those little spurts of excitement accompanied by elevated energy and emotions are fun, and not all too destructive assuming you don't take it to some ridiculous extreme.
I hear what you're saying. I don't think that witnessing one's actions is equivalent to 'belittling' or denying one's life, or the amazement of the reality of being alive. Rather, it is recognizing that there is no true self doing anything, and that the false self that we cling to, in happy times and in sad, is what keeps us suffering. Practicing non-attachment to the fruits of one's actions, every action, not just the little material things that get us off, is imbued with a sense of worth, and is an end in itself. I am of the opinion that everything that happens to us on the outside is less important than our internal state of being, and it is possible to live life in a state of peace and equanimity by letting go of self-limiting concepts. It is definitely hard work at times, though.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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