|
Anonymous #1
|
 Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest!   1
#7714013 - 12/04/07 04:50 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Let’s hear them! I have two to share. All start with number two.
When was in highschool I got this pot head chick all shitfaced and convinced her to let me fuck her in the ass. She passed out whilst I was fucking her and released a huge dump on my dick. Right after that she woke up and said, “I think I pooped on you”. Next day her friends tell me she has Herpes.
I didn’t get the Herp, but my young mind was scared for life.
It was a sexual disaster!
But the number one all time nastiest disaster was when I bought a full service escourt. We started fucking and she was pretty raunchy, I had trouble getting it up, and since I had to fuck her with a condom I also had trouble coming.
I only paid for one hour of service, and she was starting to pressure me to cum so I tyold her to use her hand. Still wasn’t working, so I told her to sit on my face and I ate her out while she jacked me off. I finally came and immediately realized how bad I had just fucked up
After she left I literally spent an hour washing my mouth out with every antiseptic I could find in my house. This included Listerine, Iso Alcohol, and peroxide. Yes I washed my mouth out more than one with each of those substances. Yes it probably knocked 10 years off of my life.
It was a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7714273 - 12/04/07 08:13 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Anytime my husband wants to fuck but he's too drunk it's a sexual disaster. He can't keep it up, can't cum and has no rhythm. 
And the damn thing keeps falling out!
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#7714329 - 12/04/07 08:35 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
lol
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7714569 - 12/04/07 09:57 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I got really fucken drunk one night at a bar, and wound up getting a ride home from some gay guy...only...we went back to his house instead - where he fucked me up the ass, and made me walk home from there
that one was certainly a disaster 
|
Anonymous #4
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
#7714640 - 12/04/07 10:14 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Its funny how Muppet's posts are the only ones I can identify in the Anonymous forum.
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #4]
#7714766 - 12/04/07 10:47 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
|
Anonymous #5
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7715037 - 12/04/07 11:52 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I once fucked a corpse. 
|
Anonymous #6
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7715045 - 12/04/07 11:54 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
five years ago when i first lost my virginity, the girl i was fucking started her period right after i started fucking her and it scar'd me for life (well for a couple weeks)
|
Anonymous #7
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #6]
#7715095 - 12/04/07 12:05 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
my girlfriend at the time and i fucked on the fourth of july. it was fucking awesome awesome sex. seriously. right on the living room floor. fucked for an hour or so, then stopped and took a breather for like 20 minutes. then went at it again for like 45 minutes before i came deep inside her. she literally climaxed 14 times. to this day, that is still my record. later that day we had a huge fight and broke up.
4 weeks later she told me she hadn't had her period in weeks.
It was a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
#7715142 - 12/04/07 12:14 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Ok so you know how malls have these back corridors that lead to the rear delivery entrances of shops? One of the ghetto malls in my town never had them locked and we would sneak in.
So I was with my highschool girlfriend and we were making out in one of these corridors. We decide to fuck so I lay her down on the cement and we start fucking. It was one of my first times fucking. I take a break and look down, and there is this huge pile of blood on the cement like the size of a dinner plate.
We freaked out and got all zipped up, ran to the bathrooms so she could check her self out. And than as were walking out of the mall we pass a maintenance guy and he’s talking over the radio with another worker that’s freaking out thinking someone got there head smashed in the corridor.
I didn’t take that bitches virginity, all that blood came from inside of her. To this day I still don’t know what was wrong with that bitch.
It was a sexual Disaster!
|
Anonymous #8
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7715370 - 12/04/07 01:14 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
i once had sex with your mom.
It was a sexual Disaster!
|
Anonymous #9
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #8]
#7715520 - 12/04/07 01:50 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I like sex when the woman puts her feet against my chest...it's better than ankles over the shoulders, at least for me..but one time this chick I was having sex with had a magnificent out..I'm talking the fart blew my sack in the air like a mud flap on a semi truck.
Not so much disastrous as it was funny.
|
Anonymous #7
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #9]
#7715634 - 12/04/07 02:13 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
eww.. i'd lose my hard-on.
|
Anonymous #10
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
#7715731 - 12/04/07 02:32 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I had sex one night while on a high dose of Poppy Tea, DXM and Ephedrine.... We fucked for hours and hours.... Neither of us could cum.... But it felt so good....
It was a sexual disaster.
|
Anonymous #11
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #10]
#7715849 - 12/04/07 02:57 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
i am THE
sexual disaster.
my dick has no sensation its really fucked up.
|
Anonymous #12
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#7716172 - 12/04/07 04:03 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Anytime my husband wants to fuck but he's too drunk it's a sexual disaster. He can't keep it up, can't cum and has no rhythm.
And the damn thing keeps falling out!
that pretty much explains my sexual disaster(s)
|
Anonymous #13
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7716317 - 12/04/07 04:43 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Not too many disasters for me really
But one time i was screwing this dumb cunt after a night of heavy drinking, and when i was done and pulled out my dick was covered in blood. She was having her period (and my guess is she knew it). When i pulled out and saw the blood i was like "uhhhgg", that bitch laughed harder than I ever seen her laugh before. So I went to the bathroom and washed up.. i dont like that bitch.
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #5]
#7717087 - 12/04/07 07:42 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I once fucked a corpse.
hey now...you really shouldn't be posing as other people anonymously ya know 
|
Anonymous #14
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
#7717190 - 12/04/07 08:05 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Fucking someone untill their arse got loose. I got lots of shit on my dick, I already came, so I lost the mood for a second round then.
|
Anonymous #15
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #14]
#7717824 - 12/04/07 10:34 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
One night me and my roommates girlfriend were just sitting on the couch watching tv while I was popping xanax and drinking vodka. I was getting really fucked up. She all of a sudden puts some porn on, I didn't think anything of it really, I was so fucked up that I was just kind of lost in my zone. She suddenly starts massaging my legs, I was beginning to realize that she may want to have sex with me. Seeing that she was my roommates girlfriend, I didn't want to make any moves unless I was 100% positive that she wanted to have sex. Then she just starts rubbing my crotch. It clicks. She puts on porn, encourages me to get drunk and is rubbing my naughties. I'm pretty sure wants to fuck me.
I lean over and kiss her and she immediately pulls off her skirt with no sense of trying to build up any kind of intimacy whatsoever. Turns out she wasn't wearing any underwear either. I'm getting ready to take off my pants when I realize fucking my roommates girlfriend on the couch in the middle of the living room is bad bad idea. Considering that the other 3 roommates were home at the time too. I take her into my room and start fucking her. The xanax and booze begins to get the best of me and I just lose it. I have no control over what is about to happen.
I blow this horrid stream of projectile vomit all over her face and stomach. I am so fucked up I don't even care. I just say, "sorry about that" and turn over moaning because I feel so bad. She is obviously disgusted. I go and take a shower, so does she. To my complete amazement, after crouching in the corner of the shower for a straight hour, I come back to my room to find her laying on my bed again still wanting to fuck. We probably had sex for a good 2 hours and then she tells me that she shouldn't of had sex with me because she has a boyfriend.
It was bad sex btw, I was so drunk and sloppy, I put my dick in her ass a couple times thinking it was her vagina and she had to tell me I had the wrong hole. It was so sloppy...
Real Story.
*Oliveplume
|
Anonymous #7
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#7717836 - 12/04/07 10:38 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
eww..
|
Anonymous #15
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
#7717843 - 12/04/07 10:40 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
It was dirty man, dirty.
The next morning I threw out all of my bed sheets and bought new ones. I cleaned like mad the next morning in my room, I cleaned stuff that was already clean. Just to get the dirtiness out of my mind.
|
Anonymous #6
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#7717845 - 12/04/07 10:42 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
yeah.. i accidently stick my dick in their ass once and a while thinking its their vagina... muwahahaha, dumb gullible girls.
|
Anonymous #7
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#7717866 - 12/04/07 10:49 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
It was dirty man, dirty.
The next morning I threw out all of my bed sheets and bought new ones. I cleaned like mad the next morning in my room, I cleaned stuff that was already clean. Just to get the dirtiness out of my mind.
there's no fucking way i would have been able to get in the mood after vomiting. i hate vomiting. and i would be dreadfully embarrassed. not to mention that must either be one raunchy ass girl for still wanting to fuck her boyfriend's roommate after he projectile vomited all over her or you must be a truly handsome fucker.
also... i don't understand how you can accidentally slip it in her ass.. I mean, assholes aren't exactly loose and gaping. they're tight, dry, and resistant to entry without adequate lube.
|
Anonymous #15
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
#7717889 - 12/04/07 10:58 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
there's no fucking way i would have been able to get in the mood after vomiting. i hate vomiting. and i would be dreadfully embarrassed. not to mention that must either be one raunchy ass girl for still wanting to fuck her boyfriend's roommate after he projectile vomited all over her or you must be a truly handsome fucker.
also... i don't understand how you can accidentally slip it in her ass.. I mean, assholes aren't exactly loose and gaping. they're tight, dry, and resistant to entry without adequate lube.
She was pretty dry, by no means was this a "heat in the moment" passion feast. I was so drunk and numb too, I couldn't really even feel much in my extremities.
haha, yea it was embarassing too.
|
Anonymous #8
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#7718133 - 12/05/07 12:27 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
enjoyed your story
|
Anonymous #16
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #8]
#7718203 - 12/05/07 12:56 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
One time, i was fucking a girl in the ass, and after we were done, she went to the bathroom in my room . . . let out the loudest after anal fart ever.
It was a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #16
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #16]
#7718223 - 12/05/07 01:04 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
and yeah im retarded, most farts are anal hahaha. But still.....
It was a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#7718255 - 12/05/07 01:19 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I put my dick in her ass a couple times thinking it was her vagina and she had to tell me I had the wrong hole.
I can't help but feel like I seen this ina movie somewhere
(like an actual movie...not just some porno or something)
and this girl's are shaking her head with this sly smirk saying something like: "that's the wrong hole"
or at least - I'm *hoping* it's from a movie...and not some memory of mine 
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
#7718295 - 12/05/07 01:37 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
It was in that movie "don’t be a menace" with the The Wayans Bros.
Despite that I still believe him because a chick has told me the same thing. It doesn’t necessarily mean you were sticking it inside there ass. But if you’re pushing at the wrong whole, a typical response IME is "That’s the wrong hole". I've had it happen to me more than once.
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7718314 - 12/05/07 01:53 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
yeah...I've had those kind of problems myself (where you try to be all smooth about it, and it just keeps sliding off to the side an shit) first time I had sex actually - the girl just laughed at me after my fifth or sixth attempt, and simply reached down there and veered it in manually
apparently I was too 'macho' to just use my hand to aim it in myself 
|
Anonymous #11
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3] 1
#7718369 - 12/05/07 02:51 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
well i came in a girl once and she got mad.
i never seen her since, that bitch better not call me up and be like haha heres your kid 
|
Anonymous #17
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #11] 1
#7718404 - 12/05/07 03:34 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
One night me and my ex were all fucked up and had been fucking nonstop for hours..sometimes I miss her..lol anyways, She was riding me and she was like I wanna do it reverse cowgirl so I said go for it.. well she stands up completely on the bed swings one leg around gets it planted then goes to move the other leg over the other side and she steps off the bed, falling and unluckily falling full speed with her ass plowing into my face. Thought it had broke my nose, but luckily it just blacked one of my eyes..HAH
Got a black eye from the brown eye..!
|
Anonymous #15
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #17] 1
#7719101 - 12/05/07 10:38 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
One night me and my ex were all fucked up and had been fucking nonstop for hours..sometimes I miss her..lol anyways, She was riding me and she was like I wanna do it reverse cowgirl so I said go for it.. well she stands up completely on the bed swings one leg around gets it planted then goes to move the other leg over the other side and she steps off the bed, falling and unluckily falling full speed with her ass plowing into my face. Thought it had broke my nose, but luckily it just blacked one of my eyes..HAH
Got a black eye from the brown eye..!
that's fucking hot 
|
Anonymous #18
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#7721445 - 12/05/07 07:29 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
i got too excited when she was about to cum and started laughing!
no sex for me after that one 
i could elaborate on that but that pretty much sums it up, i beat my self over it again and again. i really liked that girl
|
Anonymous #19
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #18]
#7721550 - 12/05/07 07:52 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
do you giggle when you beat yourself over it?
|
Anonymous #18
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #19]
#7722901 - 12/06/07 01:33 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
sometimes
but fortuntly i've had some reacent sex that made all that go away, the most amazing sex i've been waiting for ever since i knew i could cum 
|
Anonymous #20
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #18]
#7723191 - 12/06/07 05:59 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I was going down on a girl and she let out the biggest fart in my face. I felt the fucking wind on my neck.
I would have been ok with it had it not actually stunk really bad (the fart, not the pussy).
it was a sexual disaster!
A girl also licked on my toes while I had a serious bout of athletes foot... I mean she was gobbling and slobbering all over my feet for a good 20 minutes and didnt say anything. Really, it doesnt do anything for me, but she seemed to be getting off on it so I rolled with it. Later, my roommate said some remark about how I always have athletes foot, in front of her, and she got really pissed.
|
Anonymous #21
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #20]
#7724379 - 12/06/07 12:49 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
It was a couple of years ago.
I was at a friends party, and there was this girl there. She was really fine. Tall, well toned, athletic, generally hot.
We all got wasted, and i laid what little mack i had on her. I pulled the old "I'm homeless, and don't have anywhere to stay tonight"
On the drive back to her house, we kill a little bottle of jack, which was a mistake. We get home, and end up trying to have sex. Complete Whiskey dick. We fucked around for a long time, and nothing.
She starts getting mad, and i start laughing.
She's like "oh you think this is funny!" I was like "i don't even know your name" I thought telling her that i might be gay would help. It did the opposite.
She ended up outside trying to get her frustration out by picking a fight with a group of Mexicans. I was trying to mediate the situation by walking out buck naked, with nothing but a bottle of jack to cover up my no-no places.
Turns out she was 26, and i was 15-16. The whole thing was very illegal.
Wait, that was an awesome date. I guess i just wanted to gloat.
Sux i couldn't get my monster wet tho... I didn't get another chance to get laid for a few years afterwords.
-Dreamer987
|
Anonymous #22
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #20]
#7724417 - 12/06/07 12:55 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I'm not small, I'm not overly large. I'm regular kinda dude.
Very long story shortened to my friend's girl decides to take me home to fuck me to get at my friend even though we are all complicit to the affair. Keep in mind that neither or friend has fucked girl before. She gets me home and gets the mood on and my cock out. When I went in I was seriously concerned. It truly felt like a hotdog in a hallway. I'd been around a few times so I knew that it wasn't because I was a small guy, either. I may not split a girl open but, for god's sakes, the entire surface area of my inserted penis should feel contact with vagina. This was very intermittent contact. Kind of like rattling a pencil around inside a toilet paper tube. I was actually worried for her health and asked her what was up. She said this wasn't usually a problem. I told her I couldn't get off like that and she agreed she wasn't getting off either so we just quit the sex mid-stream and called it a night.
Afterwards I conducted some interviews of her acquaintances and learned 2 pertinent facts:
1. Her casual nickname was "Firstname-"Black Hole"-LastName" due to her promiscuity.
2. She was public about her frequent masturbation with an extremely large dildo.
Never before or since have I felt such a loose pussy. It was beyond the idea of loose. It was like she had rode that huge dildo all the way to my house and had just removed it before I went in.
It was sexual disaster!
Where is a disaster from a female POV?
|
Anonymous #23
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #21]
#7724450 - 12/06/07 01:02 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
My 6 month anniversary with an ex.
We were gettin drunk at a party and the chick I was banging before her shows up ( these bitches hated eachother, jealousy ).
Well we all get drunk at this kids house ( he lived with his mom ) and the previous chick starts coming on to my girlfriend at the time ( while we are celebrating our 6th month ) and we decide to go back into my friends bedroom to watch a movie.
Well they start making out, and it was gettin awesome, first time girl on girl action...I was freaking the fuck out with anticipation.......so I go in for the triple kiss thing.....SUCCESS...two chicks at once!!!!!
Well they get naked and my ex gf starts eating out my present girlfriend...and my present girlfriend suddenly has a wind of sobriety, and sits up and declares this is two uncomfortable I have to leave.....
She runs into the bathroom....by this time I'm naked as well.....
I chase after her and I'm in the bathroom with her, shes all shakin up because the other chick was groping my dick while she was eating her out and my girlfriend just didn't want it to happen....I subtley try to get her to go back in the room but no dice....then....
My friends mom bangs on the door....."what's going on in there?" "WHy Are there two people in the bathroom"...."Get out here now"......( I'm only 16 at this time )....I tell her to hold on...."NO....GET OUT HERE NOW!!!!"......
Well I was naked, no towels, no nothing.....I had no choice......I opened the door with my raging 16 year old boner sticking straight into the air and a very exasperated look on my face.....she was appalled....I didn't get my threesome.....my girlfriend was uncomfortable for a week.
Needless to say that was a sexual disaster.......
Then........2 months later.....
I get drunk at this kids house again....against his moms best wishes...but she still allows it.....and I pass out in his bedroom trashed.....Apparently I sleep walked ( first time I ever did this ) and crawled into bed with his mom and dad.....they didn't even wake up. I woke up at 5 in the morning and was very disoriented and hungover...lookedaround and muttered where am I, and get responded with screaming and shouting......
That kids mom hated me from then on........
|
Anonymous #10
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #23]
#7724714 - 12/06/07 02:10 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
^
|
Anonymous #24
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #23]
#7724734 - 12/06/07 02:16 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
OK i was at this party about 10 years ago, and i was pretty fucked up on 40s and weed, and i started talking to this blond girl. People at the party referred to her as Duck, and when i had her on my lap , and was making out with her my friend Raymond ( His house party) came in, and saw me kissing her. He somehow got me into a different room.
He started laughing, and said you don't want to do this and there is a reason they call her duck.. I told him she was good people, and the girl was kind of cute.. What did she have a dick? He said no, and that she had a kid, but if i went on with this action i would be sneaking out of his house in the morning.
Needless to say i didn't care, and later that night we ended up in his spare bedroom, where we fucked.
The next morning i woke up feeling sober, and looked over at her. She was really cute but i happen to notice that her feet where not in the same spot, but her legs were straight under the covers.. When i lifted it, i saw that her right leg was 6 inches shorter then her left leg, and that she was called duck because when she walked she limped with the shorter leg causing her to wobble.
Needless to say i grabbed my clothes, and started to sneak out of the house.. Who was down at the bottom of the stairs with my shoes in hand.. Ray... He laughed and told me he'd tell her i had to go to work, and i did the walk of shame out of the house...:)
|
Anonymous #20
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #24]
#7724833 - 12/06/07 02:49 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
my friend Dennis had almost that exact same story.
He never gave details about "duck", but he said it was a pretty cute girl that had one leg shorter than the other.
|
Anonymous #25
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #24]
#7724920 - 12/06/07 03:11 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I've got two to share. While they're not disasters they put me in some really embarrassing situations.
Story 1:
It was the first week back to college after break. Given that nothing happens the first week, me and a group of friends decided to sit around in one of the dorm rooms and drink. In this group of friends was an exgirlfriend of 2 years that I had broken up with before the break.
Everyone in the room is drinking excessively, having a good time. Then one of our friends decides shes going to bed. Great. The ex and I decided that since the "party" was dead, we were gonna go talk about how us being friends is going to work. So we go back to my room and sit on the couch to talk.
Within 5 minutes we're both butt ass naked in my bed doing the deed. This was around 1 in the morning, mind you. So we're having some great make up sex... for about 3 hours. Around 4am someone BANGS on my door and starts screaming "SHUT THE FUCK UP. ITS 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING AND PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP." So we stop for about 15 minutes and go at it again for about another hour.
Next day a friend of ours comes up to us an asked the ex if she slept in my room last night. She said yes and asked why she was wondering. Apparently this friend was eating breakfast in the cafeteria and overheard a conversation between these two girls who lived three floors below me in the adjecent building. The conversation was something like this:
Girl 1: Do you know who a guy named <my name> that lives in Bonel 314?
Girl 2: No, why?
Girl 1: Because he kept me and my roommate up all night having some crazy loud pornstar sex.
Me and the ex just look at each other and grin, the friend who told us knew what was up. So it was a funny little inside joke between the three of us and that was the end of it. Or so I thought...
End of the semester rolls around. I had pulled an all-nighter studying for an exam and I go out side to smoke a cigarette around 7 in the morning. While I'm out there this girl walks up to me and asks me if she can bum a smoke. So I give her one and she sits and smokes with me. I kinda knew this girl through another friend, but never knew her name. So I ask what her name is, and she asks mine. I tell her. Then she says "Wait... <my name> that lives in Bonel 314?" As I admit to that being me, I'm thinking "Oh fuck, I know where this is going."
She says "Oh really? Well do you remember a night earlier in the semester when someone was banging on your door telling you to shut up because you were having really loud sex?" "Yeah" "Yeah, well that was me."
I then had to apologize explain that me and the girl were trashed and I forgot that my window was open. I would have never thought I'd apologize to someone for having "crazy loud pornstar sex."
It was a sexual disaster! (kinda)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Story 2:
Last fall, my girlfriend invited me to a party at a very nice house that her friend was pet sitting at. This was going to be the first time I would drink with sister and friends (whom I'd met once before). Sounds like fun right? It was. It was a ton of fun... from what I remembered.
These girls introduced me to a drinking game called pitcher of death. I don't want or need to explain it, but its similar to kings in that if you get a king, you and your partner have to drink a pitcher of beer. The girlfriend and I got 3 of the 4 kings. Lets just say I forgot everything after that.
Turns out that the girlfriend and I wanted to get in the hot tub, so we put on our bathing suits and went out there. No one else wanted to come, they stayed inside playing drinking games. Apparently we decided to have sex in the hot tub. No big deal right?
Well, there's a slight problem there. This hot tub sits outside the living room that has huge bay windows... where everyone was playing drinking games. Eventually someone noticed that we were having sex. Being the drunk assholes they were, they didn't shout out the window "hey we can see you having sex." They watched. And made commentary ("Oh SHES ON TOP NOW!).
Eventually we went back inside and had more sex. At one point I had to take a piss. I decided it would be easier to just sit down on the toilet because I was wasted. So I down to pee and the next thing I know my girlfriend is banging on the door asking if I'm alright. I had fallen asleep on the toilet AND taken a shit, which I didn't intend to do. So we went back to the sex once I was out of the bathroom. Eventually we went to bed. That was until I woke up to go to the bathroom, tried to put on someone else's clothes and thought the closet was the bathroom.
So my girlfriend's friends and her sister saw me having sex and I passed out on the toilet in the middle of sex.
It was a sexual disaster!
Edited by Anonymous (03/25/09 11:43 AM)
|
Anonymous #26
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #22]
#7725194 - 12/06/07 04:16 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
i started to nail this girl on the couch at somebodies house, in the living room
everyone else was in another room
the persons whose house we were at didn't know that their mother would be home soon
so we got busted fucking like animals with our pants around our ankles
the mother walked in and didn't see us on the couch at first
we both sat up right away, but didn't have time to pull our pants up
the mother was standing right in front of us by the time she noticed we were there
im just sitting there with my boner, i said "Hello"
the mother walked out of the room quickly and then proceeded to raise a fucking shit storm.
It was sexual disaster!
but i loved it!
|
Anonymous #27
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #26]
#7725476 - 12/06/07 05:39 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Should've had that milf join in.
|
Anonymous #26
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #27]
#7725549 - 12/06/07 05:59 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
milf would have been nice
but no milf here
|
Anonymous #28
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #26]
#7726914 - 12/06/07 11:53 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I tried to have sex two different times.
It was a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #28]
#7727570 - 12/07/07 07:16 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Hey Dreamer987,
just thought I'd let you know, telling girls that you are homeless and have nowhere to go really isn't a great way to put the moves on them. Kind of screams loser.
No offense meant.
|
Anonymous #29
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#7727639 - 12/07/07 07:42 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Really the worst for me was when I tried to fuck a fat chick. I was hanging out with some friends that day, and one of the girls had brought a friend with her. She looked to be a bit fat, but I figured eh Ill hit on her. So later that night the fat bitch and I head back to my place to fuck. We were both entirely sober. Anyways, I get naked and she attempts to blow me, but this blowjob involved teeth and very little sucking going on. She would even stop and start kissing my stomach for some reason.
So I put an end to that and started taking her clothes off, however when the shirt came off it became apparent that she was wearing an extremely tight shirt underneath that. I try removing the tight shirt and to my horror her stomach literally explodes out of the shirt. She takes it all the way off and now I can see her in her full glory. She looked literally like some kind of manatee. Her pants come off, and Im sitting there with a look of horror across my face. I go down on her because I figured I needed time to get my dick rehard again, but her pussy is just the most gelatinous mess of homosapien cell matter, beet red like something the farmer would make a pie out of, fat lips that looked like the brain bug in Starship Troopers. My dick starts to shrivel in fear at being thrust inside of there.
After finishing giving her head I excuse myself and say I need to find a condom. I rush out of the room, find a porn magazine I have and go to the bathroom to try and get my dick up. I figured if I could fool my dick initially, then I could trick it into staying up as I entered the fat bitch. So here I am in the bathroom looking at porn while that beast is lying on my bed in the other room. I can only picture her though, the porn does very little. I see a cute chick in the porno then suddenly she morphs into a manatee, feeding on fish and swimming in the ocean. I walk outside, take 2 shots of whiskey and go back into the bathroom. This finally calms me down to the point where I can get it up. I burst into the room with an erection and try to put the condom on. But I fuck it up every passing second my dick is getting wiser to my plot and I start losing the erection. I finally get it on and mount her. But now I had to literally move aside a fold of fat to penetrate her, and that was the downfall.
I told her I was sick and that there was no way anything sexual was going down. I think she understood the score
|
Anonymous #10
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #29]
#7727743 - 12/07/07 08:36 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
^ Holy Shit Bro.
That was a sexual disaster.
|
Anonymous #30
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #29]
#7727796 - 12/07/07 08:57 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I try removing the tight shirt and to my horror her stomach literally explodes out of the shirt. She takes it all the way off and now I can see her in her full glory. She looked literally like some kind of manatee.
hahahaha This reminds me of several of my sexual encounters.
|
Anonymous #30
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #30]
#7727831 - 12/07/07 09:12 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
But, the bitches I do are even bigger than this. 
|
Anonymous #31
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #30]
#7727907 - 12/07/07 09:35 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
OK, I have one to share, it's not nearly as funny as some of your, but its not bad.
Let me set the stage a little. I'm 17 at the time, my ex-girlfriend just set me up with her 15 year old friend. This friend is a FREAK, we fucked the first night me met, and about every other time we saw each other.
Anyway, I'm at her house one night, and my buddy, who lives there at the time (her dad was a meth head who took in kids with nowhere to go) calls me and needs a place to to for the night. I guess her dad was pissed about something, who knows I never knew it and I was there, but thats not the point of the story. So we go back to my moms house, they have like 2 cases of beer, we start drinking, next think I know my friend passes out. Leaving me, his friend and my new fuck buddy. We decided to go outside and smoke some pot. Next thing I know this kid is puking everywhere. He only drank like 2 beers, guess hes just a pussy. Anyway I clean the garage, we go inside I give him a blanket and pillow and tell him the floor is the best I can give him, because his friend already got the couch.
So, my room is in the basement, one half being a living room and a sheet separating that from where my bed and computer was. I take this girl to my half of the room and we get down to business.
The kicker is, I find out, a week later, that this dude who puked in the garage WAS HER EX-BOYFRIEND!!!
And they only broke up like a week prior to that.
AND SHE DIDN'T BOTHER TO TELL ME BEFORE I FUCKED HER DAMN NEAR IN FRONT OF HIM!!!
I found out about all this because I couldn't find my paycheck, I start thinking through who has been at my house that I don't really know. BAM, that random dude. So I called my friend who knew him, and he fills me in on the scoop. I never found out if he took my check for sure, but I got it re-issued, so I got my money.
Either way that bitch was fucking loony, went to a psychiatric hospital for almost a month after eating LSD, freaking out and trying to kill herself.
|
Anonymous #30
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #31]
#7727987 - 12/07/07 09:54 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
You guys have some really good stories. Mine are pretty tame but here goes:
1. Had sex with several fat girls.
2. I was doing this chick doggy-style and all of a sudden I smelled shit. I mean SHIT. It was over-powering. I guess she hadn't wiped her ass thoroughly. I still managed to finish though.
3. I had a girl come over to my place and she's on the phone to her boyfriend saying, "We're just friends. I just came over to his place to say hi. Nothing's going on. Blah blah." Five minutes later she's naked in my bed. Wait...that's not really a disaster.
4. I fucked a girl and her boyfriend found out. He got my address and started sending me threatening letters. That kind of sucked. Dude, it's not my fault your girl is a ho. 
|
Anonymous #26
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #30] 1
#7728285 - 12/07/07 11:06 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Dude, it's not my fault your girl is a ho.
this is true
i don't understand all these crybaby fuckers,
"you fucked my girl friend"
"you fucked my girl right after i broke up with her"
"i know i told you that you could fuck her, but I didn't think that you would, i was joking"
when they want to fuck they want to fuck, quit being a bitch
it happens to everyone, i learned this when i was young
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #29]
#7728303 - 12/07/07 11:10 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
yeah...I ate out a fat bitch out once too
- about ten minutes in I try an move on to something more 'intimate'
- she insists "just one minute more"
- so I roll my eyes / hold my breath / and say a little prayer as I re-enter that cave of death
she then clasped her hands around the back of my head, and held me fucken hostage until the job was done - I was literally struggling just to gasp for air (not even attempting to do the job anymore) and she just kept trying to cram my whole head up inside of her...apparently
the funny thing though, is that this entire time she was making these real deep soulful moans (eerily similar to the sound a whale makes when it's singing) ...but... at the moment of orgasm - she suddenly shot up about twelve octaves in an instant (like one moment: she's a bass / and the next: she's a soprano)
it was rather comical to be perfectly honest with you
|
Anonymous #30
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
#7728335 - 12/07/07 11:18 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
the funny thing though, is that this entire time she was making these real deep soulful moans (eerily similar to the sound a whale makes when it's singing)
hahahaha Like in Star Trek IV.
|
Anonymous #29
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #30]
#7728363 - 12/07/07 11:26 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Such a fantastic movie
|
Anonymous #26
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
#7728373 - 12/07/07 11:30 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
these pussy eating stories just reminded me of this.
i was 17, she was 16
this chick had the tightest pussy posible, super hot too
this was the pussy dreams are made of, no shit
you couldn't hardly get your dick in this chick, and when you did get it in all you could do was wiggle your dick around up in there, it was too tight to actually fuck.
anyways, she used to make me eat her pussy to get it super wet before i tried to put it in.
the first few times were cool, but after a few days of fucking her and shooting loads in her hole
there was an awesome cheese buildup on her pussy.
really thick awesome pussy cheese
i used to have to give the pussy one lick and then give the sheet on the bed a lick
to scrape that shit off my tongue
one for the puss
one for the sheet
one for the puss
one for the sheet
totally worth every second though
|
Anonymous #30
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #26]
#7728393 - 12/07/07 11:37 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Oh shit...I almost forgot. I was making out with this girl who I was fucking for a long time and I started to attempt to go down on her and she kept trying to stop me. Her face got all red and I could tell she was embarrassed and hiding something. So, I just normal intercoursed her. I later found out she was fucking other dudes and some of them were just blowing their loads inside of her. So, I almost ate another guy's semen. Thank God the ho stopped me. That's the only favor she ever did for me actually.
It was almost a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #21
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #30]
#7728976 - 12/07/07 02:24 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
"Hey Dreamer987,
just thought I'd let you know, telling girls that you are homeless and have nowhere to go really isn't a great way to put the moves on them. Kind of screams loser.
No offense meant. "
For an adult this is sexual suicide.
When your 16, and your trying to get with a lady thats got her own house, how can she say no to a kid whose parents put him out on the street for smoking pot, and he's gonna have to go sleep under a bridge tonight.
I didn't have enough mack back than to say:
"hey lets go back to your place, and party after this" My voice would have gotten all squeaky, and i probly would have hyperventalated.
This put her in a position where she had to make the moves.
The funniest part, was all night she was going off about being a super huge mega lesbian. "not attracted to dick at all" yada yada. I knew better.
-dreamer987
|
Anonymous #19
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7731465 - 12/08/07 12:31 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
i liked the pencil in a toilet paper tube story
|
Anonymous #10
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #19]
#7735056 - 12/08/07 10:52 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
My sister started fucking me when I was 4 and she was 9, until I was 10 and she was 15. Between knowing about sex from elementary age, to boundary issues as an adult, up to recent years of therapy for having the urge to fuck everything in sight.
It has always been a sexual disaster.
|
Anonymous #32
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #10]
#7735108 - 12/08/07 11:13 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Best Thread EVER.
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #32]
#7735224 - 12/09/07 12:11 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Best Thread EVER.
fuck yeah it is 
|
Anonymous #17
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7735635 - 12/09/07 07:34 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I see that some of you all have said that fucking while your chick is on the rag is nasty..fuck that..that's the best time to do it. So warm and inviting..Only have had one mishap with it.. I was fucking this bitch in a log cabin one time and we've been going at it for several hours..same bitch who blacked my eye with her brown eye.. and she gets up to switch positions(we are in total dark) and I feel something splatter from my dick to my chest..as we were fucking she must have caught air in her fucking cooter. LOL Forced that shit out like a pressurized gun...POW Blood splatter but no crime scene. 
"I don't trust an upside down hole that holds water"
|
Anonymous #17
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #20]
#7735650 - 12/09/07 07:51 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I was going down on a girl and she let out the biggest fart in my face. I felt the fucking wind on my neck.
I would have been ok with it had it not actually stunk really bad (the fart, not the pussy).
it was a sexual disaster!
A girl also licked on my toes while I had a serious bout of athletes foot... I mean she was gobbling and slobbering all over my feet for a good 20 minutes and didnt say anything. Really, it doesnt do anything for me, but she seemed to be getting off on it so I rolled with it. Later, my roommate said some remark about how I always have athletes foot, in front of her, and she got really pissed.
Soak your feet in 80% water, 10% bleach and 10% baby oil. Keep the bad foot fungi away, also eliminates odors as long as you don't have sweaty/nasty/smelly shoes.
|
Anonymous #26
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #17]
#7736106 - 12/09/07 10:55 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
while we're giving out anti fungal advice here
i'll go ahead and say that you can also soak your feet in 1/2 water 1/2 apple cider vinegar also
|
Anonymous #33
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #26]
#7736863 - 12/09/07 02:16 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Also try soaking your feet in 10M H2SO4 acid. I find that works pretty well too.
|
Anonymous #34
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #33]
#7737009 - 12/09/07 02:54 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
LOL
|
Anonymous #11
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #34]
#7737015 - 12/09/07 02:55 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
10 M!!!!!!
|
Anonymous #35
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#7737105 - 12/09/07 03:27 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
So I'm balls deep in your mom's asshole, right?
And I'm railin', and she let's out this fart that blew me back like three feet!
So I'm like "Look bitch, if I'm gonna give you a hot beef injection in the fart tank, you'd better be runnin' on empty!"
True story.
It was a sexual disaster.
|
Anonymous #11
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #35]
#7737204 - 12/09/07 03:56 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
i was about to cum and the girls teeth hit my penis head. it felt like she poked it with a needle.
then she asked if i was going to cum.
not now! 
|
Anonymous #19
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #11]
#7737335 - 12/09/07 04:44 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
you could have turned it into a success if you slapped her when she asked
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #19]
#7737613 - 12/09/07 06:11 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
To the one who ate out the cheesy girl: she probably had a yeast infection. Eew.
|
Anonymous #36
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7737923 - 12/09/07 07:33 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
2 years ago i was with a girl but i couldn't get it up and when i did i didn't last long and she didn't cum
that never happened to me before
it made me feel inadequate and insecure
i'm still healing
it was a sexual disaster
this is probably ythans favorite forum...lol
|
Anonymous #37
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#7738722 - 12/09/07 10:48 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
shrooms, 2 bottles of midori, can't get it up when i do I blow my load after 30seconds...
|
Anonymous #38
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #37]
#7739952 - 12/10/07 10:46 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I had always wanted to try anal sex. I'd read about how it's DEFINITELY a good idea for the recipient to get an enema or 2 beforehand, and to have LOTS of lube on hand. Well, my gf at the time wasn't all that open to it (even though she liked the finger in the ass while fucking her from behind). One night we're fucking and she says, "stick it in my ass", really wanting to please me and I'm thinking fuck yeah! So i lightly lube up a bit with my spit, and slowly start to work it into her hole.
EWWWWWW! The fucking smell was HORRENDOUS! It made me gag, and it was so horrible i just had to stop and go clean off my dick (which had some brown spots on it, fucking EEEWWWWW!). It smelled worse than any normal shit too, i dunno wtf that was all about. Neither of us were pleased, and all she really had to say was "you're the one who wanted it".
Well, if there ever is a next time, i will definitely go about it in a cleaner manner.
|
Anonymous #26
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #38]
#7740167 - 12/10/07 11:45 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
be a man
you should have blown a load in her shit
|
Anonymous #9
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #38]
#7740217 - 12/10/07 11:56 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I had always wanted to try anal sex. I'd read about how it's DEFINITELY a good idea for the recipient to get an enema or 2 beforehand, and to have LOTS of lube on hand. Well, my gf at the time wasn't all that open to it (even though she liked the finger in the ass while fucking her from behind). One night we're fucking and she says, "stick it in my ass", really wanting to please me and I'm thinking fuck yeah! So i lightly lube up a bit with my spit, and slowly start to work it into her hole.
EWWWWWW! The fucking smell was HORRENDOUS! It made me gag, and it was so horrible i just had to stop and go clean off my dick (which had some brown spots on it, fucking EEEWWWWW!). It smelled worse than any normal shit too, i dunno wtf that was all about. Neither of us were pleased, and all she really had to say was "you're the one who wanted it".
Well, if there ever is a next time, i will definitely go about it in a cleaner manner.
Every chick I have ever done in the ass there has never been an odor or shitstains on my dick afterward.
You just gotta make sure she's not prairie doggin before you stick it in. Which pretty much means ask her if she's got a turtle head poking out because if so then you're asking for trouble.
|
Anonymous #39
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
#7742854 - 12/10/07 09:37 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I got really fucken drunk one night at a bar, and wound up getting a ride home from some gay guy...only...we went back to his house instead - where he fucked me up the ass, and made me walk home from there
that one was certainly a disaster
MUPPET!
|
Anonymous #40
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #39]
#7742882 - 12/10/07 09:42 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Once bit self and pulled a muscle in my neck while masturbating furiously.
|
Anonymous #41
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #40]
#7747592 - 12/11/07 11:27 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Finally, after years of waiting, I was about to have sex! Me and a friend had been hooking up for a while, just making out and stuff. We were pretty drunk and went back to my room to watch 40 year old virgin (how ironic!). Things got intimate very close, and soon we were both totally naked. She reminded me she was on birth control, and I went for the kill. Only problem was IT WOULDN'T FIT! I'm not saying I have a massive penis, it's probably just about average, she was just a very petite girl with quite the tight vag. After all the waiting to finally "lose my virginity" I couldn't get the damn thing in, I could just get a half inch or so in, and it just wouldn't work out! She told me it had happened before with her last boyfriend. We hung out only a few times after that, then we grew apart. Even though I didn't have full blown sex, I still tell people I'm not a virgin, since I think it's embarrassing, and who knows, maybe 1/2 inch counts!
Not as bad as 99% of the things in this thread, but still, in my eyes, a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #41
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #41]
#7747672 - 12/11/07 11:51 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
A close female friend of mine was getting nailed in the ass by her boyfriend at the time in his living room. Parents open the front door, he pulls out extremely fast, liquid shit pours out all over the place, he throws up everywhere, his parents FLIP out and go cry in the bedroom as he cleans everything up.
|
Anonymous #30
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #41]
#7747676 - 12/11/07 11:53 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
hahahahaha
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #41]
#7748073 - 12/12/07 05:26 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
A close female friend of mine was getting nailed in the ass by her boyfriend at the time in his living room. Parents open the front door, he pulls out extremely fast, liquid shit pours out all over the place, he throws up everywhere, his parents FLIP out and go cry in the bedroom as he cleans everything up.
now that's a sexual disaster
|
Anonymous #29
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #41]
#7748082 - 12/12/07 05:37 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
A close female friend of mine was getting nailed in the ass by her boyfriend at the time in his living room. Parents open the front door, he pulls out extremely fast, liquid shit pours out all over the place, he throws up everywhere, his parents FLIP out and go cry in the bedroom as he cleans everything up.
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #41]
#7748721 - 12/12/07 10:55 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Finally, after years of waiting, I was about to have sex! Me and a friend had been hooking up for a while, just making out and stuff. We were pretty drunk and went back to my room to watch 40 year old virgin (how ironic!). Things got intimate very close, and soon we were both totally naked. She reminded me she was on birth control, and I went for the kill. Only problem was IT WOULDN'T FIT! I'm not saying I have a massive penis, it's probably just about average, she was just a very petite girl with quite the tight vag. After all the waiting to finally "lose my virginity" I couldn't get the damn thing in, I could just get a half inch or so in, and it just wouldn't work out! She told me it had happened before with her last boyfriend. We hung out only a few times after that, then we grew apart. Even though I didn't have full blown sex, I still tell people I'm not a virgin, since I think it's embarrassing, and who knows, maybe 1/2 inch counts!
Not as bad as 99% of the things in this thread, but still, in my eyes, a sexual disaster!
Sounds like either you weren't hard enough or she wasn't wet enough. Next time make the girl get on top, that might help. And lots of foreplay for the girl helps.
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#7748734 - 12/12/07 11:00 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
either that - or homeboy here is even more of a pedophile then me 
|
Anonymous #35
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
#7748808 - 12/12/07 11:16 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
It's funny how Tangerines cant post in this thread
|
Anonymous #11
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #35]
#7748874 - 12/12/07 11:27 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
yeah sounds like she needed to slobber on ur cock for a bit before you put it in.
|
Anonymous #7
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #11]
#7748941 - 12/12/07 11:39 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
yeah sounds like she needed to slobber on ur cock for a bit before you put it in.
a girl's natural lubricant is more effective than spit. so he would have been better off eating her out and getting her juices flowing.
|
Anonymous #11
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
#7748966 - 12/12/07 11:43 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
well the spit is just there to ease the first thrust man, the girl will start oozing after that.
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #11]
#7751402 - 12/12/07 09:16 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
No he should have eaten her pussy.
MEN, EAT MORE PUSSY!
|
Anonymous #7
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#7752270 - 12/13/07 12:46 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
i can honestly say i eat it almost every opportunity i get, given that the girl is attractive and clean. it's a huge turn on for me.
|
Anonymous #19
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
#7752451 - 12/13/07 02:30 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
once an asian women told me she laughs when she gets her pussy eaten
she said she imagines the guy is cleaning her cunt out
|
Anonymous #42
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#7752516 - 12/13/07 03:44 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Where is a disaster from a female POV?
My sexual disasters are pretty much the female norm- losing interest halfway through and wishing for it to be over faster. Then there was the time the guy I lost my virginity to didn't like to wear a condom so 'sex' was a few minutes of 'we should stop now, I don't want to have a baby.' Then there was the one night stand last summer, with my roomate's friend who I'd known for a few weeks and talked to quite a few times- who forgot that he knew me the next time we saw each other- last weekend. The sex was really bad for me and I had to suffer the gossip around the house the next morning, which made being forgotten about even more irritating. I'd say 60-70% of the sex I've had has sucked and I've had several partners over the course of several years so the problem is not a lack of experience.
|
Anonymous #19
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #42]
#7752606 - 12/13/07 05:29 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
lack of enthusiasm?
should a guy just start wanking off half way through because you cum so fast?
|
Anonymous #43
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7753353 - 12/13/07 11:46 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
About ten years ago I was essentially living on the road with this girl in a gigantic 1971 ford super van. We were passing through a region of the country populated by rednecks and had to sleep so we parked in a seemingly secluded state park in the middle of nowhere and slept. The next morning we started doing the thing, this girl was extremely kinky and general preferred anal sex. Which was ok with me however i wasn't really hip on the idea of anal sex in the back of steaming hot van in the middle of nowhere with no access to showers or anything... but yeah... that is what she wanted. Moments after beginning a loud banging noise on the van's barn door, we immediately look up at the window, just in time to see a cops head pop up. He opened the door without asking and despite the fact the day was already bright with the midmorning sun, he pointed a flashlight at us. We had to interrupt our session, step out of the van and answer questions.
It was a kinda a sexual disaster
The best sexual disaster however was recounted to me by my brother and numerous other who were told of the story. I still laugh about this every time I think abut it. My brother is an idiot, he thinks of himself as being "Mr. Rock and Roll", even though he has no musical talent. The point being, he tries to be Über cool, but is so vacant he has no clue what cool is.
So he has been pursuing this really beautiful, intelligent woman for two years. She of course rejects him due to the fact he is a scum bag mongoloid.
But fate shined upon him one summer evening. He had been hosting a party on this antique boat, an authentic Chinese junk, I could see how it would have certain romantic appeal, with my brother in his sailor's cap... literally.
Everyone left the boat, the beautiful young woman, apparently suffering from too much alcohol or perhaps mild heat exhaustion, became open to my brother's advances... so he take her on a boat ride far off shore where they could have a bit of privacy. They are making out on the deck of the boat, this poor girl probably sees this as here best and perhaps only opportunity to live out some hot irate fantasy. The clothing comes off and they are on the cusp of engaging is what could have been a life changing experience for my brother.
As I mentioned, my brother is a retard, a complete mouth breather, apparently he was really excited with his mouth gaped open gasping for air, because just as they started a bee flew into his mouth, down his throat and stung the inside of his esophagus. Needless to say, they never had sex, and seeing my brother reaction (he has a terribly low pain threshold) was enough for her to rethink the situation and realize that it was a mistake, I doubt she even contemplated a second chance, not that it could have taken place that day, as she had to help the captain steer the ship back into port.
That was a sexual disaster... a truly golden sexual disaster I might add.
|
Anonymous #9
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #43]
#7753380 - 12/13/07 11:54 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
As I mentioned, my brother is a retard, a complete mouth breather
I know people like that
|
Anonymous #42
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #19]
#7753425 - 12/13/07 12:08 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
lack of enthusiasm?
should a guy just start wanking off half way through because you cum so fast?
The problem isn't cuming too fast, it's being so disatisfied that I realize I'm not going to cum at all. I know it isn't just me because I've had some really great sex too. A couple of the partners I've had were consistently really good.
|
Anonymous #44
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #9]
#7753429 - 12/13/07 12:09 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
me and my girl got to taco bell to eat. we go home and were in the mood so she starts sucking my dick to get things going and i think i hit the back of her throat and she PUKES all over my dick and pretty much every where on my lower half of my body. KIND OF RUINED THE MOOD!!!..... NOT TO MENTION IT HAPPENED AGAIN LATER ON:(
|
Anonymous #10
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #44]
#7754203 - 12/13/07 03:15 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
me and my girl got to taco bell to eat. we go home and were in the mood so she starts sucking my dick to get things going and i think i hit the back of her throat and she PUKES all over my dick and pretty much every where on my lower half of my body. KIND OF RUINED THE MOOD!!!..... NOT TO MENTION IT HAPPENED AGAIN LATER ON:(
When I started reading this, It reminded me of a sexual disaster.
Me and my gf at the time went to this party that was hosted on Caddo lake (a lake surrounded by swamp) at a Cabin where there were to be lots of patrons. It was a 420 party on may 20th 2002. There were peeps from out of state in state, out of town and in town. We knew the people that owned the house, so we had laid claim to a bed early on. (There were three beds to each of the 4 bedrooms if that's enough foreshadowing for you)...
The party was a hit, lots of blunts being passed around and 100 pounds of crawfish for boiling...
As the night progresses everyone is high and drunk to the point of oblivion. Me and my girl head to the bed room where there is another couple already going at it. We walk in and they look up as if they were interrupted, but we close the door behind us and just start making out. Ol' dude that was doin the banging, resumed his rythym as if it were cool for us to get down and dirty beside them..
I lay my girl on the bed and pull her pants off and go down on her and she's really turned on by all this. I start licking it real good, then I put a finger in her and she Screams....
"Shhhhhit.. WTF?" and I was like 
And she grabs her hole and runs to the bathroom and I follow...
Apparently it's not a good idea to play stinky finger after eating crawfish all evening. I don't think cayenne pepper seasoning feels that great in the ol' pink hole. It was so awkward, embarassing and such a turn off, not to mention she felt like her pussy was on fire for the next 3 hours.... It was a new orleans style sexual disaster.
|
Anonymous #44
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #10]
#7754661 - 12/13/07 04:57 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
thats fuckin funny ^^^^^^lolo^^^^^^lolol:)
|
Anonymous #25
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #44]
#7754991 - 12/13/07 06:18 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Oh man I just remembered a sexual disaster that happened several times.
I'm a huge fan of spicy food. I had these asian neighbors that had this ungodly hot asian chili paste stuff. I forget what it's called, I think it had a chicken on it. Anyway, I used to put it on almost everything I ate.
This stuff is the only hot food I've found that just won't wash off with soap, no matter how hard I tried. As you can imagine, this was a recipe for disaster.
So me and the girlfriend are doing the foreplay thing. She liked to be fingered. She loved it. Like deep as possible. Apparently I had some of the spiciest chili paste in the world on my fingers or under my nails. So I'm fingering her then all of the sudden she starts screaming. "You fucking fucker, my pussy burns like hell. MOTHER FUCKER, why didn't you wash your hands. Fuck I gotta go wash it out."
So that was the end of sex for that night. And honestly, this happened about 5 other times. One time I went down on her about an hour or two after eating. Yes, an hour or two. Same thing. "MY CLIT IS ON FIRE! CHRIST! YOU FUCKER!".... then she'd run to the bathroom.
Eventually she made a rule of no sex that night if I ate chili paste. Of course that just turned into keep your hands and mouth away from my pussy and we'd have sex anyway.
Lesson learned. Be careful with chili paste and sex.
Edited by Anonymous (03/25/09 11:44 AM)
|
Anonymous #45
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #25]
#7755117 - 12/13/07 06:41 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
It was a sexual disaster!
-Gumby
The point of Shroomerites Anonymous is...
forget it.
|
Anonymous #25
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #45]
#7755316 - 12/13/07 07:10 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Nah man, if it's something worth being proud of you might as well give yourself credit. I think this thread would have been a lot more fun in a public forum.
|
Anonymous #46
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #17]
#7755406 - 12/13/07 07:22 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
One night me and my ex were all fucked up and had been fucking nonstop for hours..sometimes I miss her..lol anyways, She was riding me and she was like I wanna do it reverse cowgirl so I said go for it.. well she stands up completely on the bed swings one leg around gets it planted then goes to move the other leg over the other side and she steps off the bed, falling and unluckily falling full speed with her ass plowing into my face. Thought it had broke my nose, but luckily it just blacked one of my eyes..HAH
Got a black eye from the brown eye..!
|
Anonymous #19
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #9]
#7756185 - 12/13/07 10:07 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
As I mentioned, my brother is a retard, a complete mouth breather
I know people like that
i never heard the term 'a complete mouth breather' before
|
Anonymous #42
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #19]
#7756349 - 12/13/07 10:31 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
- Apparently I had some of the spiciest chili paste in the world on my fingers or under my nails.
Oh my god, I totally forgot that this had HAPPENED TO ME TOO until you posted it! Except I was the girl in the situation. It was not pretty. The hot sauce on his fingers was some habanero shit that claimed to be THE hottest hot sauce on the market. Well, I can tell you it wasn't false advertising because this happened at least 6 hours after he ate the stuff. It was the first time we had hooked up with each other and both of us were REALLY SHY. Oh yeah, and the other thing is that we were camping so I couldn't wash it off, I had to just wait it out. That was definitly a disaster.
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #42]
#7756501 - 12/13/07 11:00 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I dunno...sounds pretty hot if you ask me
|
Anonymous #47
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
#7756545 - 12/13/07 11:09 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
fuck i rub tiger balm on my balls all the time, big whoop.
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #47]
#7756665 - 12/13/07 11:28 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
ever try it with nair 
|
Anonymous #47
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
#7756681 - 12/13/07 11:31 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
i but chug nair, cleans out the ol colon real good.
|
Anonymous #7
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #47]
#7756951 - 12/14/07 12:32 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
the spicy food thing is definitely a common "disaster". i know it happened with me and my ex a couple of times.
|
Anonymous #42
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
#7757023 - 12/14/07 12:53 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Tiger balm is a little different than hot sauce. You know, it's got that whole cool and refreshing thing going for it. Hot sauce just burns-- especially when applied to the vaginal region. Would you rub pepper spray on your junk?
|
Anonymous #7
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #42]
#7757084 - 12/14/07 01:12 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Tiger balm is a little different than hot sauce. You know, it's got that whole cool and refreshing thing going for it. Hot sauce just burns-- especially when applied to the vaginal region. Would you rub pepper spray on your junk?
you fucken know i would. makes it feel like there's still some fucken body heat.
|
Anonymous #47
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #42]
#7757159 - 12/14/07 02:12 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
i would and i have
|
Anonymous #42
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #47]
#7758022 - 12/14/07 11:40 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Jesus. I got pepper spray in my eye once, and I can tell you it ain't getting anywhere near my genitalia.
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
#7760467 - 12/14/07 10:41 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
the jokes on you fucker - *I* don't use periods 
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
#7763038 - 12/15/07 07:50 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I would never admit this if it wasn't in the anonymous forum and dammit this shit had better stay anonymous!
I was doing Whip its one night with my boyfriend. I was very horny and he talked me into inserting the tiny canister into my pussy. Started by just rubbing it on my clit. Felt good. It was extremely cold and I thought it might feel interesting so why not?
Why not indeed! My pussy just sucked up that little canister and we spent the next few minutes having to fish that little baby out! Won't do that again! 
|
Anonymous #10
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#7763607 - 12/15/07 09:42 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I would never admit this if it wasn't in the anonymous forum and dammit this shit had better stay anonymous!
I was doing Whip its one night with my boyfriend. I was very horny and he talked me into inserting the tiny canister into my pussy. Started by just rubbing it on my clit. Felt good. It was extremely cold and I thought it might feel interesting so why not?
Why not indeed! My pussy just sucked up that little canister and we spent the next few minutes having to fish that little baby out! Won't do that again!
Why didn't you just stand up?
|
Anonymous #48
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #29]
#7763797 - 12/15/07 10:09 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
holy shit man, greatest story ever told in this thread.
Bravo, good sir.
|
Anonymous #49
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #48]
#7763882 - 12/15/07 10:27 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
First time, the worst time.
So my first serious steady girlfriend. about 3 months in after serious pelvic bruising (dry humpzzz) & MADMADMAD blue balling she skips school one day and were getting touchy feely. She was very self conscious, even tho she was apparently a big ho, I liked her alot and respected her... girls are complicated.
Needless to say I finally put the foreplay mackdown and got the green light to pull the train into the station . So she didn't want the covers off so I could see where I was inserting so after a few minutes of frustrating trying to get it in, it finally slides in and feels so good. shes all like 'oh not too deep it hurts, but you can go faster. and dont cum in me.' and I'm all like, yeahh  lets have babies lots of babies. then she starts crying  game over.
we broke up like a month after that. No other times of nookie. She has me owned I dream of that snatch that got away. AND SHE HAS MY HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL JERSEY!
|
Anonymous #15
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #49]
#7763895 - 12/15/07 10:30 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
previous story made no sense.
a slutty girl cried during sex and you kept saying "I WANT LOTS OF BABIES!"
?
|
Anonymous #49
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#7764029 - 12/15/07 11:14 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
haha no. shes like dont come in me, im like yea (sarcastically) lets have babies (one time) shes like no boohoo. sexytime stops and turns into wak ass cry time. bongs make it hard to type sometimes
|
Anonymous #48
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #49]
#7764123 - 12/15/07 11:47 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
man, learn your lesson from that.
Don't be sarcastic when your going to get some pussy.
Accept and be thankful.
|
Anonymous #49
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #48]
#7764211 - 12/16/07 12:12 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Lol I learneded the hard way!
|
Anonymous #50
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #49]
#7764319 - 12/16/07 12:44 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
One chick whispered what I thought what "I love you" during a one night stand. (Turns out that's not what she said) and I sorta accidentally reflex-jerked and she went flying off the side of the bed.
Another one night stand I guess I hit something wrong while I was fucking her, she shoots off my cock after yelping in pain and runs to the bathroom. I'm not even sure I said goodbye to her that night, I think I fell asleep before she even left. Things were awkward between us after that.
Watching a girl choke on your cum is sort of a disaster, but one you're always willing to let happen because it's so worth it.
That's all I got right now.
|
Anonymous #11
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #50]
#7764857 - 12/16/07 10:28 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Watching a girl choke on your cum is sort of a disaster, but one you're always willing to let happen because it's so worth it.
That's all I got right now.
it is he best evar.
|
Anonymous #51
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #11]
#8228926 - 04/02/08 02:21 PM (16 years, 18 days ago) |
|
|
a friend and I got some hookers to bang one nite...so anw my friend is fucking his ho, but am too high to concentrate on what i am doing,i would be rock hard one minute,completely flaccid the other...and she didnt really turned me on...well long story short, i got completely un-horny...couldnt get a hard on and came 2wice in like 30secs. then i fell asleep on the hookers boobs.
It was a financial disaster.
|
Anonymous #52
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8228957 - 04/02/08 02:29 PM (16 years, 18 days ago) |
|
|
You_suck
never again
|
Anonymous #51
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #52]
#8229021 - 04/02/08 02:44 PM (16 years, 18 days ago) |
|
|
you are never gonna suck dick again?
|
Anonymous #51
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #51]
#8229060 - 04/02/08 02:51 PM (16 years, 18 days ago) |
|
|
unexpected projectile ejaculation on the face. 
|
Anonymous #53
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8232339 - 04/03/08 05:50 AM (16 years, 17 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Let’s hear them! I have two to share. All start with number two.
When was in highschool I got this pot head chick all shitfaced and convinced her to let me fuck her in the ass. She passed out whilst I was fucking her and released a huge dump on my dick. Right after that she woke up and said, “I think I pooped on you”. Next day her friends tell me she has Herpes.
I didn’t get the Herp, but my young mind was scared for life.
It was a sexual disaster!
But the number one all time nastiest disaster was when I bought a full service escourt. We started fucking and she was pretty raunchy, I had trouble getting it up, and since I had to fuck her with a condom I also had trouble coming.
I only paid for one hour of service, and she was starting to pressure me to cum so I tyold her to use her hand. Still wasn’t working, so I told her to sit on my face and I ate her out while she jacked me off. I finally came and immediately realized how bad I had just fucked up
After she left I literally spent an hour washing my mouth out with every antiseptic I could find in my house. This included Listerine, Iso Alcohol, and peroxide. Yes I washed my mouth out more than one with each of those substances. Yes it probably knocked 10 years off of my life.
It was a sexual disaster!
PW3d
|
Anonymous #54
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #53]
#8233388 - 04/03/08 01:06 PM (16 years, 17 days ago) |
|
|
This is about a friend of mine.
A different friend owns a penthouse apartment in south Miami and had a bunch of girls over. My friend was getting friendly with one of the girls throughout the night. In the early morning after everyone gets fucked up and everyone is either passed out or hooking up, we hear screams from outside on the balcony. Not screams of pleasure, but the most blood curdling screams imaginable like some bitch is getting rape choked. Then the yelling starts. Some of us get up to go see what happens when the girl who was with my friend comes running in, hysterical, hands covered in blood like she ripped someone's heart out.
Going outside, the friend is butt naked from the waist down and his legs are covered in blood. He's fucking losing it and we find out that somehow the head of his dick ripped in half and is pouring out blood. We end up driving his ass to the hospital while the girl is holding his underwear up to his dick trying to stop some blood loss with this deer in headlights look on her face.
There was so much blood.
At the hospital he ends up getting his dick cleaned off and bandaged up by this gay 300lb black guy. They sent him off with bandages and cream. The apartment looked like a murder scene with a pool of blood and bloody clothes scattered around where it happened and trails of blood leading everywhere.
He won't say exactly how it happened.
It was a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #55
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #54]
#8234132 - 04/03/08 04:12 PM (16 years, 16 days ago) |
|
|
The first time I had sex was at a house which a friend was housesitting at for the summer, and there were several of us there getting drunk and stoned. Later 2 other girls showed up, one who I hadn't met before and one who I might've. So, I ended up laying the one I had never met downstairs, and a friend did the one I might've met before, upstairs. I was pretty fried, and lasted a good minute or two. As soon as I came, I lost my hard-on 100% and didn't even bother trying to keep going, or get it up again. I just burnt out and just went home.
It was a sexual disaster!
For her, hahahaha. I'll bet she was pissed.
|
Anonymous #55
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #55]
#8234195 - 04/03/08 04:25 PM (16 years, 16 days ago) |
|
|
I haven't had sex in a long time.
It's a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #56
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #55]
#8235287 - 04/03/08 08:17 PM (16 years, 16 days ago) |
|
|
One time I was fingering a girl when she was sitting on my lap so my palm was sort of covering her butt. After a while of that, she got up so we could get to some fucking. I got up so I could position myself to do her from behind when I noticed a little unusual smudge on my hand. Hmm, that's interesting, what could it be? After a closer inspection I came to discover the horrendous truth... IT WAS SHIT!
With considerable unease I asked her what it was (already knowing the answer) and she danced around the bush it until I finally got it out of her that she had a problem of anal leakage. Needless to say our sexual encounter came to an abrupt end, my boner was extinguished, and I drove her home silently.
It was a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #26
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8235353 - 04/03/08 08:33 PM (16 years, 16 days ago) |
|
|
i can't believe you didn't finish tagging it
|
Anonymous #56
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #26]
#8236178 - 04/03/08 10:54 PM (16 years, 16 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
i can't believe you didn't finish tagging it
Yeah cuz getting shit on is a real aphrodisiac.
|
Anonymous #57
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8236230 - 04/03/08 11:02 PM (16 years, 16 days ago) |
|
|
I woulda finished... damn never had anal I guess. shit happens
|
Anonymous #56
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #57]
#8236297 - 04/03/08 11:17 PM (16 years, 16 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I woulda finished... damn never had anal I guess. shit happens
No. You wouldn't have. Having someone else's shit on you will immediately kill whatever boner you had. Sorry
|
Anonymous #48
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8251921 - 04/07/08 06:21 PM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I woulda finished... damn never had anal I guess. shit happens
No. You wouldn't have. Having someone else's shit on you will immediately kill whatever boner you had. Sorry
Do you realize what forums your on?
This is OTD on PCP, Meth, LSD and Heroin.
These people would drysmash women's shitboxes until they shit on their dicks, then drysmashed them again using the poop as lubricant.
So don't ever say that shit in the anon forums.
|
Anonymous #56
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #48]
#8254097 - 04/08/08 12:58 AM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I woulda finished... damn never had anal I guess. shit happens
No. You wouldn't have. Having someone else's shit on you will immediately kill whatever boner you had. Sorry
Do you realize what forums your on?
This is OTD on PCP, Meth, LSD and Heroin.
These people would drysmash women's shitboxes until they shit on their dicks, then drysmashed them again using the poop as lubricant.
So don't ever say that shit in the anon forums.
Haha! They can SAY whatever they want but guaranteed getting shat on while fucking will probably make you wanna hurl.
|
Anonymous #53
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #50]
#8254330 - 04/08/08 04:32 AM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
One chick whispered what I thought what "I love you" during a one night stand. (Turns out that's not what she said) and I sorta accidentally reflex-jerked and she went flying off the side of the bed.
when i fucked this chick one time on acid.. I asked here "How are you?" But I heard myself say " I love you" and so did she @_@
|
Anonymous #58
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #53]
#8254441 - 04/08/08 06:08 AM (16 years, 12 days ago) |
|
|
i don't really have anything good to add.
one time i slept with a girl while i was living at her boyfriends house.
but actually she had another boyfriend in jail that she was cheating on with that boyfriend. then i lived with her when her "real" boyfriend got out of jail (who then lived with us also), and he was a very scarey person and found out about boyfriend 2 and beat the shit out of him. he (jail boyfriend) used to talk to me about how angry it made him she had been with another man.
then i moved and i was safe.
then i had a girlfriend that wanted me to facefuck her and be real rough. it totally turned me off, because i only want to do that stuff to shy virginal girls. also she could never cum, and she used to tell me about how awesome and rough her hispanic hugely hung boyfriend used to fuck her, which turned me off more.
now i will never facefuck a girl.
It wasn't a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #59
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #58] 1
#8257512 - 04/08/08 09:34 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
|
|
I was fucking my girl real hard one night after doing a few lines of blow earlier in the afternoon. About halfway through my nose starts bleeding really bad, down my nose and right on her face and tits. It ruined the mood 
It was pretty much a sexual disaster
|
Anonymous #60
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #29]
#8258584 - 04/09/08 03:38 AM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
|
|
1. One time I fucked a girl who had just shot up heroin in my bathroom seconds before. While I was fucking her she held up her bloody needle wounded arm and asked me to lick it. I refused, but in retrospect I should've done it I just didn't want to get AIDz. I wore a jimmy hat for that encounter.
2. Another time I was fucking my ex girlfriend doggy, and it smelled like shit everywhere obviously from her asshole. I continued to pound it anyway, and for some reason I kinda enjoyed my room smelling like shit. Another occasion I had sex with her she started crying, that was just bad.
|
Anonymous #61
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #60]
#8259866 - 04/09/08 01:16 PM (16 years, 11 days ago) |
|
|
I had met this girl twice before and after a game of drinking king (donkey kong country drinking game) I was too wasted for my own good, I ended up fuckin her all night long and then passed out...In the morning I awake to her asking me to get up.
she looked pretty worried and she told me that she had a tampon jammed up her vag almost into her uterus, dumb me didn't even notice and just keep fucking the shit out of her all night, well she was really scared and asked if I could help get it out, which I did and it was really awkward considering we were sober and I had my hand up her snatch trying to get a bloody jammed up tampon out, took about 5 minutes...damn, I washed up for about 30 minutes, she made me coffee and I went on my way.
It was a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #56
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #61]
#8260399 - 04/09/08 04:11 PM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I had met this girl twice before and after a game of drinking king (donkey kong country drinking game) I was too wasted for my own good, I ended up fuckin her all night long and then passed out...In the morning I awake to her asking me to get up.
she looked pretty worried and she told me that she had a tampon jammed up her vag almost into her uterus, dumb me didn't even notice and just keep fucking the shit out of her all night, well she was really scared and asked if I could help get it out, which I did and it was really awkward considering we were sober and I had my hand up her snatch trying to get a bloody jammed up tampon out, took about 5 minutes...damn, I washed up for about 30 minutes, she made me coffee and I went on my way.
It was a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #62
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8260630 - 04/09/08 05:05 PM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
|
|
This is absolutely one of the top 10 threads on here.
|
Anonymous #63
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8262540 - 04/09/08 11:50 PM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
One time I was fingering a girl when she was sitting on my lap so my palm was sort of covering her butt. After a while of that, she got up so we could get to some fucking. I got up so I could position myself to do her from behind when I noticed a little unusual smudge on my hand. Hmm, that's interesting, what could it be? After a closer inspection I came to discover the horrendous truth... IT WAS SHIT!
With considerable unease I asked her what it was (already knowing the answer) and she danced around the bush it until I finally got it out of her that she had a problem of anal leakage. Needless to say our sexual encounter came to an abrupt end, my boner was extinguished, and I drove her home silently.
It was a sexual disaster!
How old was this chick and did you get out of her WHY she had a problem with anal leakage?
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #63]
#8262587 - 04/10/08 12:04 AM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
|
|
Who cares why 
|
Anonymous #56
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #63]
#8262702 - 04/10/08 12:35 AM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
One time I was fingering a girl when she was sitting on my lap so my palm was sort of covering her butt. After a while of that, she got up so we could get to some fucking. I got up so I could position myself to do her from behind when I noticed a little unusual smudge on my hand. Hmm, that's interesting, what could it be? After a closer inspection I came to discover the horrendous truth... IT WAS SHIT!
With considerable unease I asked her what it was (already knowing the answer) and she danced around the bush it until I finally got it out of her that she had a problem of anal leakage. Needless to say our sexual encounter came to an abrupt end, my boner was extinguished, and I drove her home silently.
It was a sexual disaster!
How old was this chick and did you get out of her WHY she had a problem with anal leakage?
She was 19 I believe and it was already so incredibly awkward that I decided not to press the issue any further. That was a few years back and if that sort of thing happened today I'd probably have gotten it out of her.
|
Anonymous #64
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8263044 - 04/10/08 02:51 AM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
|
|
two new years ago we me and my girl got blitzed at the club and barley made it home alive, not like i remember.
Anyway shes on the rag so we go get to fucking in the shower and she decides to puke all over me for like 5 minutes. She almost tried to bitch when i told her we wernt going out anywhere this NYE.
|
Anonymous #64
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #64]
#8263046 - 04/10/08 02:52 AM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
two new years ago we me and my girl got blitzed at the club and barley made it home alive, not like i remember.
Anyway shes on the rag so we go get to fucking in the shower and she decides to puke all over me for like 5 minutes. She almost tried to bitch when i told her we wernt going out anywhere this NYE.
PS it was a sexual disaster 
|
Anonymous #56
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #64]
#8264917 - 04/10/08 03:40 PM (16 years, 10 days ago) |
|
|
 I love how all stories end with "it was a sexual disaster." Gives me a chuckle.
|
Anonymous #65
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8265040 - 04/10/08 04:17 PM (16 years, 9 days ago) |
|
|
I didnt read the thread so someone might have said it already but..
*hear
FFS!
|
Anonymous #66
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8265620 - 04/10/08 06:14 PM (16 years, 9 days ago) |
|
|
I think my only sexual disaster was when I was kneed in the nose. You see, I have a septum piercing which is 5/8 in diameter and was wearing a glass plug in at the time. When her knee met my face, that plug burst into tiny shards and cut my nose and the exposed cartilidge all to hell.
I didnt finish that night
|
Anonymous #67
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #66]
#8265755 - 04/10/08 06:40 PM (16 years, 9 days ago) |
|
|
I had a pretty fucked up experience. I was hanging out at my house when my roommate of 2 days started to feel up on me, so I we go into her room and I go to stick my dick in her but for some reason it won't fit. All of a sudden she pulls a bloody tampon out of herself and throws it into the garbage. It was really fucking nasty, but I fucked her anyway. Blood all over myself, it was not only crime scene sex-
it was a sexual disaster.
|
Anonymous #68
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #67]
#8284209 - 04/14/08 09:17 PM (16 years, 5 days ago) |
|
|
i have two accounts of Sexual Disaster that happened to some close friends.
ok first off i was at this party and my buddy was layin mak down on this really cute chick. He's giving her drinks and getting her toked up. well out of nowhere i look over and shes got his pants down in front of everyone and shes blowin his dick like mad(they were on the living room couch mind you) everyone catches on and starts watching them. next thing you know the chick vomits all over his dick.. she was so shocked and so frightened that she kept going and finished him off. he may have been to drunk to realize she threw up all over his dick or maybe just need to release some nut. hell i don't know
the next event takes place at a party as well. where a different friend is laying down some mak on a chick(or so i thought). things start to heat up for them so they quickly retreat to one of the bedrooms of the house. Next thing i know my buddy comes running out of the room naked. apparently the chick turned out to be a hermaphrodite and he claims that he/she/it (whatever) pulled out a dick that was bigger than his and that nothing happened...he later confessed that it gave him head before whipping its Shim dick out lol
those were sexual disasters
|
Anonymous #48
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #67]
#8301033 - 04/18/08 01:38 PM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I had a pretty fucked up experience. I was hanging out at my house when my roommate of 2 days started to feel up on me, so I we go into her room and I go to stick my dick in her but for some reason it won't fit. All of a sudden she pulls a bloody tampon out of herself and throws it into the garbage. It was really fucking nasty, but I fucked her anyway. Blood all over myself, it was not only crime scene sex-
it was a sexual disaster.
Should have called CSI for that one.
|
Anonymous #67
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #48]
#8301288 - 04/18/08 02:54 PM (16 years, 2 days ago) |
|
|
Should have bought a dead goat and called my dad and shown him how badly I fucked the goats asshole.
Also this is my sexual disaster
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/8281124/an/0/page/0
|
Anonymous #56
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #67]
#8306185 - 04/19/08 09:44 PM (16 years, 18 hours ago) |
|
|
(That one time I got too drunk and suffered the wrath of whiskey dick and had to lay uncomfortably in bed stammering to explain my lack of erection and pride) x 5
It was a sexual disaster. 
|
Anonymous #69
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8317763 - 04/23/08 06:02 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
I was in Rome not so long ago and I scored a Mexican chick. We didn't have any room or place to go back to because her friends and my friends were in each of our respective hotel rooms.
She took me into her hotel which has a massive marble staircase of some 7 or 8 stories. It was a really swanky, respectable place in a decent part of the city.
Well we sat down at maybe the middle of the 3,4 floor on the staircase. This was at about 5 am so there was nobody around. Not wanting to get naked on the stairs, this girl gives me a handjob. I blew my load all over her and we just sat there for a minute or two kissing. She didnt have anything to clean up with. I was nicely chilled out after a great handjob...
Then all of a sudden some little Italian cleaner woman who must have been around 70years plus came out of nowhere and started to shout all sorts of shit at us... I didnt have a fucking clue what she was saying, I was sitting there with my jeans around my ankles and my cock out. The Mexican girl chanced her arm at a few words of Italian to get her to fuck off and leave us alone. It didnt work. I got chased down 3 or 4 flights of stairs by this granny from hell who was wielding a broomstick with my jeans down and post ejaculation crotch area in full view
It was a sexual disaster
|
Anonymous #48
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #69]
#8318239 - 04/23/08 10:47 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
At least you got to nut on some mexican chick.
just think, you could of had the granny too.
|
Anonymous #70
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #48]
#8318825 - 04/23/08 01:38 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
I hadn't had sex in about a year and I finally scored a girl who happened to be a virgin. Long story short I got over-excited and put it in her butt.
It was a sexual disaster.
|
Anonymous #71
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #22]
#8319347 - 04/23/08 03:36 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
ummm...well the worst thing for me was when i was in bed with a beautiful girl...she was naked...i was high...and my condoms were down stairs and she...refused me....and dang...SHE WAS hot..and the next week we broke up and...dang ( she was hot  )
....do you feel stupid when you dont manage to get an erection and you are with a new girl? i feel funny ...i just don't care.. i usualy manage to fuck the girl but she get's no pleasure from it. and i like it  this way.
|
Anonymous #56
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #71]
#8319614 - 04/23/08 04:41 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
ummm...well the worst thing for me was when i was in bed with a beautiful girl...she was naked...i was high...and my condoms were down stairs and she...refused me....and dang...SHE WAS hot..and the next week we broke up and...dang ( she was hot )
....do you feel stupid when you dont manage to get an erection and you are with a new girl? i feel funny ...i just don't care.. i usualy manage to fuck the girl but she get's no pleasure from it. and i like it this way.
I am now dumber for reading this.
|
Anonymous #67
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8319930 - 04/23/08 05:42 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
this one time i was smoking some dmt
my friend came over n got naked so we
had sex she was cool about it nothing reallly
bad happened
|
Anonymous #48
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8326464 - 04/25/08 10:29 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
ummm...well the worst thing for me was when i was in bed with a beautiful girl...she was naked...i was high...and my condoms were down stairs and she...refused me....and dang...SHE WAS hot..and the next week we broke up and...dang ( she was hot )
....do you feel stupid when you dont manage to get an erection and you are with a new girl? i feel funny ...i just don't care.. i usualy manage to fuck the girl but she get's no pleasure from it. and i like it this way.
I am now dumber for reading this.
Agreed. Please sir, go back to OTD, OP.
|
Anonymous #48
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #67]
#8326467 - 04/25/08 10:29 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
this one time i was smoking some dmt
my friend came over n got naked so we
had sex she was cool about it nothing reallly
bad happened
then why the fuck are you posting in the sexual disasters thread?
Go post your shite down in OTD where they can really fuck you up.
|
Anonymous #72
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8329551 - 04/26/08 05:10 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
My ex girlfriend and I go through this huge "its been three years lets take it easy" mating ritual. We're watching tv, cuddling, I kiss her, we make out, she's like "I don't wanna have sex" I'm like "okay." We keep making out, her pants come off, my pants are coming down she starts cryyiinnggggg and says "You tricked me" I'm buzzkilled so we just go back to watching tv. She gets on my computer to check her email and sees a porn website in my browser bar. Goes to it and starts laughing histerically at my taste in porn (cumshots and asian women, I'll add)
I didn't have sex, and then I got laughed at.
It was a sexual Disaster!
Disaster 2: This girl almost fucks me, then is like, naw lets just goto sleep. I'm young and I decide I'll beg for it. I doesn't get it and I go to sleep not only not laid, but also knowing how pathetic I am.
I am a sexual Disaster!
|
Anonymous #4
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #72]
#8329696 - 04/26/08 07:19 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
I will pay a mod to change the title of this thread so that "hear" is spelled correctly.
It's been driving me fucking crazy for the last month.
|
Anonymous #73
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #72]
#8330098 - 04/26/08 10:44 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
My ex girlfriend and I go through this huge "its been three years lets take it easy" mating ritual. We're watching tv, cuddling, I kiss her, we make out, she's like "I don't wanna have sex" I'm like "okay." We keep making out, her pants come off, my pants are coming down she starts cryyiinnggggg and says "You tricked me" I'm buzzkilled so we just go back to watching tv. She gets on my computer to check her email and sees a porn website in my browser bar. Goes to it and starts laughing histerically at my taste in porn (cumshots and asian women, I'll add)
I didn't have sex, and then I got laughed at.
It was a sexual Disaster!
Disaster 2: This girl almost fucks me, then is like, naw lets just goto sleep. I'm young and I decide I'll beg for it. I doesn't get it and I go to sleep not only not laid, but also knowing how pathetic I am.
I am a sexual Disaster!
Cumshots involving asians or just both separately.?
|
Anonymous #74
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#8330122 - 04/26/08 10:50 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
ahahahahahahahahaha sweet thread
hmm sexual disasters.. i dont think i really have any bad ones. I mean of course i have gotten shit on my cock from the good ol anal train, but thats kind of gotta be on the waiver.
So i guess the worst thing to ever happen to me would be having sex with clingy chicks. Cause once they get the LD they expect to become your girlfriend and put parameters on your shit and thats just not fucking sweet. I mean all those times i got pissed on and ate shit, those were okay but girlfriends... Now thats a sexual disaster.
|
Anonymous #72
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #74]
#8332037 - 04/26/08 08:14 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
separately, I don't go out of my way for both at the same time. I'm a strong believer in moderation.
|
Anonymous #73
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #72]
#8333586 - 04/27/08 09:45 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
I was having sex with my mom's neighbor who was 16 years older than me and her 4 year old son walks in. I said we were wrestling and he said why are you wrestling with the lights off? I said it's harder that way. And his mom told him to go back to bed.
|
Anonymous #31
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #74]
#8349269 - 05/01/08 11:44 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
ahahahahahahahahaha sweet thread
hmm sexual disasters.. i dont think i really have any bad ones. I mean of course i have gotten shit on my cock from the good ol anal train, but thats kind of gotta be on the waiver.
So i guess the worst thing to ever happen to me would be having sex with clingy chicks. Cause once they get the LD they expect to become your girlfriend and put parameters on your shit and thats just not fucking sweet. I mean all those times i got pissed on and ate shit, those were okay but girlfriends... Now thats a sexual disaster.
QFTMFT!!!!!!!
|
Anonymous #75
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #31]
#8351794 - 05/01/08 10:29 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
oh god, since this morning I now can regrettably add something to this thread. I woke up pretty hungover with my girlfriend stroking my dick. I quickly got her naked, and my head moved down to her nether regions, and begin licking her clit... my tongue moves down a bit, inserts into the vagina, and it feels way too slick... i stop and actually look... only to see white chunky shit clogging up the hole.... luckily i only dry gagged since i had puked everything in my stomach up the last night but god i still feel sick every time i think of it
it was a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #76
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #75]
#8352489 - 05/02/08 03:13 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
HA! Your chick has a yeast infection.
Take a shower more often hippy.
|
Anonymous #77
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8354613 - 05/02/08 05:11 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
I have only read the first three pages, but this is the best thread ever.
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #77]
#8355026 - 05/02/08 06:48 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
If they'd had sex the night before it could be his cum not a yeast infection!
You are now gay.
|
Anonymous #56
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#8355130 - 05/02/08 07:12 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Bewarrr the angry white vaginal chunks, matey! ARRR 
|
Anonymous #78
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8355639 - 05/02/08 09:07 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
i was 17 and desperate. this girl i had been friends with for a while apparently wanted my dick. all i wanted was some head really. she wasnt very good looking, and she was pretty thick, and i was pretty skinny so it was akward... skip forward a little... i was sitting on my futon, she was sitting on me were making out. i just couldnt get it up. at all. i was fucked up, drunk or something. i tried putting a condom on. got it over my half hard dick and tried putting it in a couple times. i was nervous as shit and frustrated.
me: "is it in yet??....."
her: "no."
me: "well fuck it."
then we put our clothes back on and she left. but she did give me head like, a year later. but not long enough to bust a nut
it was a sexual disaster.
|
Anonymous #76
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#8355847 - 05/02/08 10:07 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
If they'd had sex the night before it could be his cum not a yeast infection!
You are now gay.
You have obviously never had sex in your entire life.
Poor Kiddo. You'll learn one day.
or maybe,maybe your the ghey?
|
Anonymous #79
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #76]
#8359131 - 05/03/08 08:58 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
way back when i was 14 i was getting some real good head from this older chick she was like 24
anyways it was only about 15 mins in i was about to blow and i jammed my cock right down her throat and choked her with it as i came and cum came out of her nose!!
then i picked up her kids coat and wiped her face with it
she was pissed and slapped me real hard across my chest with cum all over her hand
it was a sexual disaster!!
|
Anonymous #80
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #79]
#8359229 - 05/03/08 09:36 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
way back when i was 14 i was getting some real good head from this older chick she was like 24
where the fuck were girls like that when i was 14
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #76]
#8359621 - 05/03/08 11:04 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
If they'd had sex the night before it could be his cum not a yeast infection!
You are now gay.
You have obviously never had sex in your entire life.
Poor Kiddo. You'll learn one day.
or maybe,maybe your the ghey?
Yes, you caught me out. I am a complete virgin. I have never had a person touch my "no-no" place.
|
Anonymous #78
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #79]
#8359884 - 05/04/08 12:09 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
way back when i was 14 i was getting some real good head from this older chick she was like 24
anyways it was only about 15 mins in i was about to blow and i jammed my cock right down her throat and choked her with it as i came and cum came out of her nose!!
then i picked up her kids coat and wiped her face with it
she was pissed and slapped me real hard across my chest with cum all over her hand
it was a sexual disaster!!
dude, thats badass
|
Anonymous #81
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #78]
#8360425 - 05/04/08 05:23 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
There was this one time when i went over to my good friend's house to get really dumb drunk off some un-legit liquor right. There were 3 girls there and one was a lesbo plus my friend and another male room-mate. So we chilled and drank and got blazed as well. Good chillin, then the lesbo says we should start an orgy and so everyone agrees. We all got naked and like the lesbo and another girl was on me and the fucking lesbo gave me a huge hicky on my neck. that biznatch. The other girl started fucking me and her boyfriend was the guy roommate ahhhhhhhhahah. It was funny because no one was fucking, just oral but then out of no-where she wanted to fuck me. Prolly cause my dick was the biggest.
It was a sexual disaster.... but not for me! fufufu
And a couple days later my girlfriend broke up with me because i had a huge hicky on my neck and ended up telling her i fucked another girl and had an orgy without her. phahah it was great because she was lame anyway.
|
Anonymous #56
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #81]
#8360503 - 05/04/08 06:24 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Shut up. That's hardly a sexual disaster. Quit boasting.
|
Anonymous #78
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8361087 - 05/04/08 12:01 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Shut up. That's hardly a sexual disaster. Quit boasting.
haha no shit thats hilarious and AWESOME.
|
Anonymous #82
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #79]
#8361437 - 05/04/08 02:02 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
way back when i was 14 i was getting some real good head from this older chick she was like 24
anyways it was only about 15 mins in i was about to blow and i jammed my cock right down her throat and choked her with it as i came and cum came out of her nose!!
then i picked up her kids coat and wiped her face with it
she was pissed and slapped me real hard across my chest with cum all over her hand
it was a sexual disaster!!
What a load of bullshit
|
Anonymous #83
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #82]
#8363889 - 05/05/08 01:55 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
the best head ive ever got was from a guy.
i know that sounds really gay, but i was really fucked up. i know its not a excuse. i did cum twice in 5 minutes though. im not gay, ive never sucked a dick, ive never been attracted to a guy, but yes. i got my dick sucked by. another guy
|
Anonymous #67
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #83]
#8364334 - 05/05/08 09:05 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
the best head ive ever got was from a guy.
i know that sounds really gay, but i was really fucked up. i know its not a excuse. i did cum twice in 5 minutes though. im not gay, ive never sucked a dick, ive never been attracted to a guy, but yes. i got my dick sucked by. another guy
I had a similar experience, fast forward 7 years and now I'm gay. Theres nothing wrong with being gay, its cool, no one here is going to judge you.
|
Anonymous #59
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #83]
#8364497 - 05/05/08 10:16 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
the best head ive ever got was from a guy.
i know that sounds really gay, but i was really fucked up. i know its not a excuse. i did cum twice in 5 minutes though. im not gay, ive never sucked a dick, ive never been attracted to a guy, but yes. i got my dick sucked by. another guy
HA! Youre about to catch the ghey!!!! 
|
Anonymous #78
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #83]
#8364581 - 05/05/08 10:54 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
the best head ive ever got was from a guy.
i know that sounds really gay, but i was really fucked up. i know its not a excuse. i did cum twice in 5 minutes though. im not gay, ive never sucked a dick, ive never been attracted to a guy, but yes. i got my dick sucked by. another guy
last time i checked getting your dick sucked by another dude constitutres as GAY
|
Anonymous #67
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #78]
#8364943 - 05/05/08 12:52 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
the best head ive ever got was from a guy.
i know that sounds really gay, but i was really fucked up. i know its not a excuse. i did cum twice in 5 minutes though. im not gay, ive never sucked a dick, ive never been attracted to a guy, but yes. i got my dick sucked by. another guy
last time i checked getting your dick sucked by another dude constitutres as GAY
Thats bullshit, in a recent poll done by CNN, 75% of all males had a homosexual experience. Over 50% of these were either giving or receiving oral sex from a male prostitute. Either everyone is gay, or no one is gay.
|
Anonymous #84
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #67]
#8365150 - 05/05/08 02:03 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
i was in my junior year of HS and i had gone out with this girl that i was friends with. so we're hanging out by some lake at night sitting on a bench and she starts giving me head but she has braces and it's not enjoyable at all. she's blowing me for 15 minutes and i can't come and i just keep getting softer and softer. she started crying like a little fuckin baby with my dick in her mouth and i had to console her and do the nice guy thing when i really just wanted to get the fuck out of there.
but i got head from her again just recently and she is much much better now, no braces either.
so i think that was my only sexual disaster.
|
Anonymous #84
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #84]
#8365182 - 05/05/08 02:14 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
and this thread has provided many lulz
|
Anonymous #78
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #84]
#8365315 - 05/05/08 02:55 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
and this thread has provided many lulz
|
Anonymous #67
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #78]
#8365503 - 05/05/08 03:55 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
I got a good one, I pick up this black hooker off the streets of asbury park and I bring her to the hotel room. She drops her pants and bends over and I stick my dick in her, it slips right in btw. 5 minutes go by and I finally shoot my load, she turns around and has a 7 inch hard on. It was a pretty fucked up situation.
|
Anonymous #82
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #67]
#8365656 - 05/05/08 04:30 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Fuck off you fucking troll
|
Anonymous #79
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #67]
#8365924 - 05/05/08 05:59 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
5 minutes go by and I finally shoot my load
finally??? after 5 minutes
|
Anonymous #85
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #72]
#8366273 - 05/05/08 07:44 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
|
Anonymous #82
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #85]
#8366385 - 05/05/08 08:16 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
i would like to post my previously documented sexual disaster:
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/7100763/page/0/fpart/1/vc/1
AHAHHAA I remember that thread it was great
|
Anonymous #80
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #85]
#8366443 - 05/05/08 08:31 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
lawl
fuck a fatty fun time!
|
Anonymous #67
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #85]
#8366514 - 05/05/08 08:52 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
i would like to post my previously documented sexual disaster:
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/7100763/page/0/fpart/1/vc/1
Actually, the last fat chick I fucked pissed on me too. It was fucking gross, I wrote a letter to her in SA.
|
Anonymous #59
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #67]
#8458878 - 05/29/08 08:41 AM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
this is the best thread on the website, and needs more responses.
BUMP
|
Anonymous #86
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
#8488275 - 06/05/08 12:54 PM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
4 weeks later she told me she hadn't had her period in weeks.
It was a sexual disaster!
Agree
|
Anonymous #87
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #86]
#8491635 - 06/06/08 04:26 AM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
hi
|
Anonymous #88
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #87]
#8493216 - 06/06/08 03:47 PM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
One time i had a huge "Wart" on my knee that i had frozen at the doctors office. When i was about to loose my virginity the girl looked down at my knee and say that it was huge, yellow, and pussing from the liquid nitrogen.
It was a SEXUAL DISASTER
|
Anonymous #89
|
|
.
|
Anonymous #90
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #89]
#8500985 - 06/08/08 06:35 PM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
One word: dingleberries.
It was a presexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #91
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #80]
#8502486 - 06/09/08 04:23 AM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
lawl
fuck a fatty fun time!
hi jal!
|
Anonymous #92
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8502516 - 06/09/08 04:49 AM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
yesterday i chickened out and didn't ask a girl to fuck and i ended up jacking off instead
it was a sexual disaster
|
Anonymous #93
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8505783 - 06/09/08 11:53 PM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
I spent seven months in the county jail from my fourth dui/drugs (xanax). I was finally sent to the work release program, which has guys and chicks living in the same building, just not with each other. there is a guy wing and a girl wing. i got to leave each day to go to work and do my laundry, crap like that. i met this chick who was also locked up. we ended up in the same laundrymat one day and started making out. she told me she had genital herpies. after 7 months of no action, i didnt really care. we went to the bathroom of the laundry mat and fucked like crazy. I ate her out then fucked her like a madman. and ya know what? she fucking stank. like seriously needed a douche, but I didnt give a shit.
its been over a year and no herpes for me...never did get tested, so for all i know I have aids.
|
Anonymous #94
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #25]
#8505800 - 06/10/08 12:00 AM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
sheeps and goats tickle my fancy 
|
Anonymous #95
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #94]
#8505815 - 06/10/08 12:08 AM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
I got engaged to a religious guy who's saving himself for marriage. It's a sexual disaster!
Good thing he's a keener, so he'll probably be good eventually.
|
Anonymous #93
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #93]
#8505824 - 06/10/08 12:11 AM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
ewwww, marriage in general is the basic definition of "sexual disaster"
I wont go down THAT road again!
|
Anonymous #96
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #29]
#8509401 - 06/10/08 10:52 PM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
I was having sex with my high school boyfriend.
It wasn't my first time, but it was like my 5th time or something and this guy wasn't really big enough to break the hymen. So finally we fucked up against the wall and that broke it and I bled.
The guy got totally freaked out and disgusted, like he expected that if he had sex with a 16 year old virgin I wouldn't bleed. He had this look on his face like "OMG, that's completely nasty, I can't believe you just did that" as if I had any control over it. It was HIS dick that made me bleed in the first place.
After that I didn't have sex with him any more because it was obvious he was into getting his rocks off but couldn't cope with the realities of the human body. I've been with guys that don't care if I'm on my period and it's honestly a big red flag if men are scared of a little blood. I understand not wanting to have sex, but being downright SCARED or freaked out by blood? That's really immature.
Most of you are a sexual disaster, imho.
|
Anonymous #97
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #96]
#8517105 - 06/12/08 08:22 PM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Several years ago, one afternoon I was fooling around with a girl that I was in a casual relationship with.
She was in the last days of her period, so being self conscious, she wouldn't let me put it in. or even go anywhere near there beneath her panties.
At this point, we had been kissing and dry fucking for a while. It was driving me crazy and I was getting hornier and hornier. I just wanted it soo bad. At the same time, I was in a bind. I was incredibly turned on, but I knew that if we had sex,(we never used condoms) I would've come within minutes..or sooner
So, finally I convinced her that we needed to have sex. It took a lot of convincing, but she finally obliged, but then said she would have to take a shower first.
I thought, great..maybe I'll cool down a little and won't embarass myself. But then, at the same time, I doubted my staying power, and thought, well maybe if I just rub a small one out while she's in the shower, after some more foreplay, I'll just get it back up and then we'll have sex.
So, then I thought times a wastin, gotta get off real quick. Well it wasn't that easy on my own, so I grabbed a pair of her sexy little panties that were on the floor next to the bed and well, it must have turned me on more than expected and I busted a full load across her bedroom floor.
Next thing I knew, the shower stops. shit that was quick! gulp.
Naked and clean, she walks seductively out of the bathroom ready for sex.
And here I am, just came, cleaned up...Trying to play it cool. She jumped into bed with me and I had to act like I still wanted her. I didn't want shit at that moment.
So, we(I, reluctantly) started where we left off.
I had a hard time faking the passion of hooking up with her, But I was doing ok, I think. but then she wanted it right there and then.
Shit! The pressure! now I can't get it up!
So, needless to say, now all of her self conscious fears that she was trying to shower off, came rushing back as she noticed my failure to be turned on.(her possible thoughts-do I smell? does he not find me attractive? are we not into each other anymore?) I could see it in her eyes. Gulp..again.
I was getting smaller and smaller by thinking about trying to get it up. Tugging to no avail. Trying to slip the head in just a little to get the feeling back, maybe that would get it started. But i think at that point would have gone further backwards inside of me than in her.
Nothing. Nothing but awkwardness.
I think we both just wanted to get out of there.
If she only knew why I couldn't get it up for her.
That was the last sexual encounter that we had due to various circumstances and moving away from each other.
I think we can classify that one as a sexual disaster! I failed.
|
Anonymous #98
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #97]
#8518236 - 06/13/08 02:06 AM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
You should have just fucked her and if you came really quick explain that it's because you haven't had sex in ages (which was true) - that way she'll learn that if she wants longer sex, you guys'll have to do it more often. Win-win.
|
Anonymous #99
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #98]
#8518396 - 06/13/08 03:37 AM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
This isnt nearly as bad as the ones ive read thus far but my only bad experience was my attempt at my first time...i was hella drunk and so was this chick and we were swimming in a pool and it was at night so it was about 65-70 degrees out and we were fucking shivering in that pool so when we finally got down to putting it in i just couldnt get it...i wasnt that hard to begin with and my inexperience prevailed as i could not get it in because i couldnt see and we were forced into an awkward position so i basically missed my chance at losing my virginity that night..luckily it wasnt my only.... it was slightly embarrasing but we actually became pretty good friends afterwards..
|
Anonymous #37
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #99]
#8519178 - 06/13/08 10:57 AM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
a friend of mine wanted to fart on his girlfriends leg and ended up shitting himself. was super wet running down his leg and soaked through his shorts.
|
Anonymous #84
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #37]
#8521261 - 06/13/08 07:23 PM (15 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
LOL
|
Anonymous #100
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8524425 - 06/14/08 06:02 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
I fucked a really, really fat chick (300+ lbs) without a rubber. Pulled out and had a huge glob of blood and other vaginal mucous on my junk.
Wiped it off on her sheets and never called her back. Desperation is a bitch, gentlemen.
|
Anonymous #56
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #100]
#8524483 - 06/14/08 06:27 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
One time I fucked a goat and the goat nibbled off my genitals. It was a sexual disaster!  
|
Anonymous #101
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8535033 - 06/17/08 07:58 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
One time I puked a little in my girlfriends mouth after she made me take a shot of jager after i had been drinkin beers all night while we were gettin intimate. still got laid but...
it was a sexual disaster!
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #101]
#8535269 - 06/17/08 09:19 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
I got so into using my vibrator once that I didn't realize I needed more lube and I ended up with a friction burn/blister on my clit.
|
Anonymous #48
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#8540233 - 06/19/08 09:29 AM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
Wow, we are all sexual disasters.
|
Anonymous #102
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #48]
#8541680 - 06/19/08 05:58 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
first time having sex, drunk as fuck, couldn't get it up, then I vomited on the bed right beside her and on her shoes and clothes.
it was a sexual disaster, but she was nice about it and let me try again the next day, so I guess it had a happy ending.
oh wait, a couple of weeks before that I was playing strip poker with my flatmate and 2 girls from across the hall, one of them is fat and the other was ok, but to my virgin ass they both looked really good. anyway, everyone gets really wasted and ends up in my flatmates bedroom. the girls are making out, everythings going well, "this is pimp" or so I thought, anyway the next thing I know the fat one is kissing me and I was fingering her. long story short I end up doing a backwards roll off the end of the bed while trying to remove my pants. the next day everyone knew and the fat girl made out that I was some kind of creep, when really I was just drunk as fuck.
|
Anonymous #103
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #102]
#8541697 - 06/19/08 06:03 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
|
|
Lol, once I came on my ex's face and it went straight up her nose, my load was huge too.
Although I found it funny.
Another time my ex got caught giving me head by her dad.
I got caught having sex in a public toilet by 2 toddlers and a mother...
I haven't laughed so hard in a few years.
|
Anonymous #59
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #103]
#8954768 - 09/19/08 01:06 PM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Bump for old times' sake. I know someone has a story to post.
|
Anonymous #104
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#8955302 - 09/19/08 03:10 PM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I had my gf bent over in a stall of a restroom in a bar. Her friends came in and started watching us. We got into a discussion about my cock piercings and her friends wanted to see them. So I pulled out and noticed one of them was missing but it was there when we started. Her friends said I thought you had two. I had to tell the gf I lost it up in her. It was awkward for a minute and then she said not to worry about it we will find it later.
|
Anonymous #105
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8955344 - 09/19/08 03:23 PM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
hear* 
|
Anonymous #75
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #105]
#9071267 - 10/13/08 02:04 PM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
lets keep this thread alive!...
For the past week i have been trying to anal my girlfriend to no avail. Finally, yesterday I got in. About five minutes later however my girlfriend frantically told me to pull out, and then proceeded to shit on my bed .
it was a shitty sexual distaster!
|
Anonymous #59
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #75]
#9071586 - 10/13/08 03:35 PM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
EW!
I remember trying with my ex, and more often than not, her bumhole was just too tight. However, the only nastiness on my bed was a bunch of cherry scented lube.
I did get it in 2 or 3 times though, and it helped if she was a little drunk.
|
Anonymous #104
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #75]
#9072406 - 10/13/08 06:27 PM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #75 said:
lets keep this thread alive!...
For the past week i have been trying to anal my girlfriend to no avail. Finally, yesterday I got in. About five minutes later however my girlfriend frantically told me to pull out, and then proceeded to shit on my bed .
it was a shitty sexual distaster!
|
Anonymous #106
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #22]
#9073197 - 10/13/08 08:58 PM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
ok. so i had my gf over. we were watching in bruge cool movie and stuff. and after it finished something came over us and we started making out like made. got her bra off shirt off and well really all her clothes off. we moved to my bed because the couch sucks balls. So everything is going awesome at this point. she is really turned on and shit is going good. we had forplay for like an hour and its still going good. then we decide to bump nasties. now i dont usually use a condom. but i thought eh what the hell. i bust off to fast anyways maybe this will help. so prolly like 15 mins into i bust. didnt let her knwo tho.
painfully i kept my dick in there and tried to keep a straight face. I just kept hitting it cuz she was really getting into. well to mysurprise i started falling out cuz my dick was getting soft. i look down at little jimmy there. and guess who decided to take a little detour.... mr cum filled condom decided he liked it in his hole and didnt want to come out. i freaked out and started looking around on my bed. then she finally said something.
it was a SEXUAL DISASTER...
|
Anonymous #98
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #75]
#9074848 - 10/14/08 06:18 AM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous #75 said:
About five minutes later however my girlfriend frantically told me to pull out, and then proceeded to shit on my bed .
Please tell me you had a cup handy
|
Anonymous #107
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #98]
#9074888 - 10/14/08 06:37 AM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
best sexual disaster..
i was allowed to cum on my girls face ONLY ONCE. i won some bet and i was cashing in on the facial.
i pull out, she drops down and i bust all over her face as her mom walks in. strangely her mom looked turned on but slammed the door after watching for 10-15 seconds.
-blackout
|
Anonymous #80
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#9078072 - 10/14/08 07:59 PM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Was dating this girl for about 18 months. One night, during anal, I gave her a "pink sock". I didn't know what the fuck to do. I freaked the fuck out, bailed, and never talked to her again.
It was around her senior prom too, so I'm sure she's scarred for life.
Trust me when I say this: the pink sock is a major fucking sexual disaster.
|
Anonymous #26
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #80]
#9078206 - 10/14/08 08:20 PM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
i would have poked it back in with my dick
and then carried on business like usual
|
Anonymous #108
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#9078255 - 10/14/08 08:26 PM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
ALL thes are fucking funny  
|
Anonymous #107
|
Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #108]
#9081667 - 10/15/08 01:56 PM (15 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
wtf is a pink sock?
|
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Edit 
Reply 
