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Anonymous #65
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#8265040 - 04/10/08 04:17 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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I didnt read the thread so someone might have said it already but..
*hear
FFS!
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Anonymous #66
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8265620 - 04/10/08 06:14 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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I think my only sexual disaster was when I was kneed in the nose. You see, I have a septum piercing which is 5/8 in diameter and was wearing a glass plug in at the time. When her knee met my face, that plug burst into tiny shards and cut my nose and the exposed cartilidge all to hell. I didnt finish that night
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Anonymous #67
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #66]
#8265755 - 04/10/08 06:40 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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I had a pretty fucked up experience. I was hanging out at my house when my roommate of 2 days started to feel up on me, so I we go into her room and I go to stick my dick in her but for some reason it won't fit. All of a sudden she pulls a bloody tampon out of herself and throws it into the garbage. It was really fucking nasty, but I fucked her anyway. Blood all over myself, it was not only crime scene sex- it was a sexual disaster.
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Anonymous #68
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #67]
#8284209 - 04/14/08 09:17 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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i have two accounts of Sexual Disaster that happened to some close friends.
ok first off i was at this party and my buddy was layin mak down on this really cute chick. He's giving her drinks and getting her toked up. well out of nowhere i look over and shes got his pants down in front of everyone and shes blowin his dick like mad(they were on the living room couch mind you) everyone catches on and starts watching them. next thing you know the chick vomits all over his dick.. she was so shocked and so frightened that she kept going and finished him off. he may have been to drunk to realize she threw up all over his dick or maybe just need to release some nut. hell i don't know
the next event takes place at a party as well. where a different friend is laying down some mak on a chick(or so i thought). things start to heat up for them so they quickly retreat to one of the bedrooms of the house. Next thing i know my buddy comes running out of the room naked. apparently the chick turned out to be a hermaphrodite and he claims that he/she/it (whatever) pulled out a dick that was bigger than his and that nothing happened...he later confessed that it gave him head before whipping its Shim dick out lol
those were sexual disasters
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Anonymous #48
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #67]
#8301033 - 04/18/08 01:38 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I had a pretty fucked up experience. I was hanging out at my house when my roommate of 2 days started to feel up on me, so I we go into her room and I go to stick my dick in her but for some reason it won't fit. All of a sudden she pulls a bloody tampon out of herself and throws it into the garbage. It was really fucking nasty, but I fucked her anyway. Blood all over myself, it was not only crime scene sex- it was a sexual disaster.
Should have called CSI for that one.
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Anonymous #67
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #48]
#8301288 - 04/18/08 02:54 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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Should have bought a dead goat and called my dad and shown him how badly I fucked the goats asshole.
Also this is my sexual disaster http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/8281124/an/0/page/0
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Anonymous #56
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #67]
#8306185 - 04/19/08 09:44 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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(That one time I got too drunk and suffered the wrath of whiskey dick and had to lay uncomfortably in bed stammering to explain my lack of erection and pride) x 5
It was a sexual disaster.
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Anonymous #69
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8317763 - 04/23/08 06:02 AM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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I was in Rome not so long ago and I scored a Mexican chick. We didn't have any room or place to go back to because her friends and my friends were in each of our respective hotel rooms.
She took me into her hotel which has a massive marble staircase of some 7 or 8 stories. It was a really swanky, respectable place in a decent part of the city.
Well we sat down at maybe the middle of the 3,4 floor on the staircase. This was at about 5 am so there was nobody around. Not wanting to get naked on the stairs, this girl gives me a handjob. I blew my load all over her and we just sat there for a minute or two kissing. She didnt have anything to clean up with. I was nicely chilled out after a great handjob...
Then all of a sudden some little Italian cleaner woman who must have been around 70years plus came out of nowhere and started to shout all sorts of shit at us... I didnt have a fucking clue what she was saying, I was sitting there with my jeans around my ankles and my cock out. The Mexican girl chanced her arm at a few words of Italian to get her to fuck off and leave us alone. It didnt work. I got chased down 3 or 4 flights of stairs by this granny from hell who was wielding a broomstick with my jeans down and post ejaculation crotch area in full view
It was a sexual disaster
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Anonymous #48
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #69]
#8318239 - 04/23/08 10:47 AM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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At least you got to nut on some mexican chick.
just think, you could of had the granny too.
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Anonymous #70
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #48]
#8318825 - 04/23/08 01:38 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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I hadn't had sex in about a year and I finally scored a girl who happened to be a virgin. Long story short I got over-excited and put it in her butt.
It was a sexual disaster.
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Anonymous #71
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #22]
#8319347 - 04/23/08 03:36 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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ummm...well the worst thing for me was when i was in bed with a beautiful girl...she was naked...i was high...and my condoms were down stairs and she...refused me....and dang...SHE WAS hot..and the next week we broke up and...dang ( she was hot )
....do you feel stupid when you dont manage to get an erection and you are with a new girl? i feel funny ...i just don't care.. i usualy manage to fuck the girl but she get's no pleasure from it. and i like it this way.
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Anonymous #56
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #71]
#8319614 - 04/23/08 04:41 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: ummm...well the worst thing for me was when i was in bed with a beautiful girl...she was naked...i was high...and my condoms were down stairs and she...refused me....and dang...SHE WAS hot..and the next week we broke up and...dang ( she was hot )
....do you feel stupid when you dont manage to get an erection and you are with a new girl? i feel funny ...i just don't care.. i usualy manage to fuck the girl but she get's no pleasure from it. and i like it this way.
I am now dumber for reading this.
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Anonymous #67
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8319930 - 04/23/08 05:42 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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this one time i was smoking some dmt my friend came over n got naked so we had sex she was cool about it nothing reallly bad happened
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Anonymous #48
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8326464 - 04/25/08 10:29 AM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: ummm...well the worst thing for me was when i was in bed with a beautiful girl...she was naked...i was high...and my condoms were down stairs and she...refused me....and dang...SHE WAS hot..and the next week we broke up and...dang ( she was hot )
....do you feel stupid when you dont manage to get an erection and you are with a new girl? i feel funny ...i just don't care.. i usualy manage to fuck the girl but she get's no pleasure from it. and i like it this way.
I am now dumber for reading this.
Agreed. Please sir, go back to OTD, OP.
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Anonymous #48
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #67]
#8326467 - 04/25/08 10:29 AM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: this one time i was smoking some dmt my friend came over n got naked so we had sex she was cool about it nothing reallly bad happened
then why the fuck are you posting in the sexual disasters thread?
Go post your shite down in OTD where they can really fuck you up.
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Anonymous #72
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #56]
#8329551 - 04/26/08 05:10 AM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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My ex girlfriend and I go through this huge "its been three years lets take it easy" mating ritual. We're watching tv, cuddling, I kiss her, we make out, she's like "I don't wanna have sex" I'm like "okay." We keep making out, her pants come off, my pants are coming down she starts cryyiinnggggg and says "You tricked me" I'm buzzkilled so we just go back to watching tv. She gets on my computer to check her email and sees a porn website in my browser bar. Goes to it and starts laughing histerically at my taste in porn (cumshots and asian women, I'll add)
I didn't have sex, and then I got laughed at.
It was a sexual Disaster!
Disaster 2: This girl almost fucks me, then is like, naw lets just goto sleep. I'm young and I decide I'll beg for it. I doesn't get it and I go to sleep not only not laid, but also knowing how pathetic I am.
I am a sexual Disaster!
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Anonymous #4
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #72]
#8329696 - 04/26/08 07:19 AM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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I will pay a mod to change the title of this thread so that "hear" is spelled correctly.
It's been driving me fucking crazy for the last month.
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Anonymous #73
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #72]
#8330098 - 04/26/08 10:44 AM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: My ex girlfriend and I go through this huge "its been three years lets take it easy" mating ritual. We're watching tv, cuddling, I kiss her, we make out, she's like "I don't wanna have sex" I'm like "okay." We keep making out, her pants come off, my pants are coming down she starts cryyiinnggggg and says "You tricked me" I'm buzzkilled so we just go back to watching tv. She gets on my computer to check her email and sees a porn website in my browser bar. Goes to it and starts laughing histerically at my taste in porn (cumshots and asian women, I'll add)
I didn't have sex, and then I got laughed at.
It was a sexual Disaster!
Disaster 2: This girl almost fucks me, then is like, naw lets just goto sleep. I'm young and I decide I'll beg for it. I doesn't get it and I go to sleep not only not laid, but also knowing how pathetic I am.
I am a sexual Disaster!
Cumshots involving asians or just both separately.?
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Anonymous #74
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#8330122 - 04/26/08 10:50 AM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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ahahahahahahahahaha sweet thread
hmm sexual disasters.. i dont think i really have any bad ones. I mean of course i have gotten shit on my cock from the good ol anal train, but thats kind of gotta be on the waiver.
So i guess the worst thing to ever happen to me would be having sex with clingy chicks. Cause once they get the LD they expect to become your girlfriend and put parameters on your shit and thats just not fucking sweet. I mean all those times i got pissed on and ate shit, those were okay but girlfriends... Now thats a sexual disaster.
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Anonymous #72
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #74]
#8332037 - 04/26/08 08:14 PM (15 years, 9 months ago) |
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separately, I don't go out of my way for both at the same time. I'm a strong believer in moderation.
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