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Anonymous #42

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #47]
    #7758022 - 12/14/07 11:40 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Jesus. I got pepper spray in my eye once, and I can tell you it ain't getting anywhere near my genitalia.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #7760467 - 12/14/07 10:41 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)



the jokes on you fucker - *I* don't use periods  :snub:


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Anonymous #2

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #7763038 - 12/15/07 07:50 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

I would never admit this if it wasn't in the anonymous forum and dammit this shit had better stay anonymous!

I was doing Whip its one night with my boyfriend.  I was very horny and he talked me into inserting the tiny canister into my pussy. Started by just rubbing it on my clit.  Felt good.  It was extremely cold and I thought it might feel interesting so why not? 

Why not indeed!  My pussy just sucked up that little canister and we spent the next few minutes having to fish that little baby out!  Won't do that again!  :shake:


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Anonymous #10

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #7763607 - 12/15/07 09:42 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I would never admit this if it wasn't in the anonymous forum and dammit this shit had better stay anonymous!

I was doing Whip its one night with my boyfriend.  I was very horny and he talked me into inserting the tiny canister into my pussy. Started by just rubbing it on my clit.  Felt good.  It was extremely cold and I thought it might feel interesting so why not? 

Why not indeed!  My pussy just sucked up that little canister and we spent the next few minutes having to fish that little baby out!  Won't do that again!  :shake:




Why didn't you just stand up?


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Anonymous #48

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #29]
    #7763797 - 12/15/07 10:09 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

holy shit man, greatest story ever told in this thread.

Bravo, good sir.


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Anonymous #49

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #48]
    #7763882 - 12/15/07 10:27 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

First time, the worst time.
So my first serious steady girlfriend. about 3 months in after serious pelvic bruising (dry humpzzz) & MADMADMAD blue balling she skips school one day and were getting touchy feely. She was very self conscious, even tho she was apparently a big ho, I liked her alot and respected her... girls are complicated.
Needless to say I finally put the foreplay mackdown and got the green light to pull the train into the station :wink:. So she didn't want the covers off so I could see where I was inserting so after a few minutes of frustrating trying to get it in, it finally slides in and feels so good. shes all like 'oh not too deep it hurts, but you can go faster. and dont cum in me.' and I'm all like, yeahh :tongue: lets have babies lots of babies. then she starts crying :foreheadslap: game over.
we broke up like a month after that. No other times of nookie. She has me owned I dream of that snatch that got away. AND SHE HAS MY HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL JERSEY!:mad2:


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Anonymous #15

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #49]
    #7763895 - 12/15/07 10:30 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

previous story made no sense.

a slutty girl cried during sex and you kept saying "I WANT LOTS OF BABIES!"

?


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Anonymous #49

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #7764029 - 12/15/07 11:14 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

haha no. shes like dont come in me, im like yea (sarcastically) lets have babies (one time) shes like no boohoo. sexytime stops and turns into wak ass cry time. bongs make it hard to type sometimes


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Anonymous #48

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #49]
    #7764123 - 12/15/07 11:47 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

man, learn your lesson from that.

Don't be sarcastic when your going to get some pussy.

Accept and be thankful.


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Anonymous #49

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #48]
    #7764211 - 12/16/07 12:12 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Lol I learneded the hard way!


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Anonymous #50

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #49]
    #7764319 - 12/16/07 12:44 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

One chick whispered what I thought what "I love you" during a one night stand. (Turns out that's not what she said) and I sorta accidentally reflex-jerked and she went flying off the side of the bed.

Another one night stand I guess I hit something wrong while I was fucking her, she shoots off my cock after yelping in pain and runs to the bathroom. I'm not even sure I said goodbye to her that night, I think I fell asleep before she even left. Things were awkward between us after that.


Watching a girl choke on your cum is sort of a disaster, but one you're always willing to let happen because it's so worth it.

That's all I got right now.


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Anonymous #11

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #50]
    #7764857 - 12/16/07 10:28 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:

Watching a girl choke on your cum is sort of a disaster, but one you're always willing to let happen because it's so worth it.

That's all I got right now.




it is he best evar.

:borat:


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Anonymous #51

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #8228926 - 04/02/08 02:21 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

a friend and I got some hookers to bang one nite...so anw my friend is fucking his ho, but am too high to concentrate on what i am doing,i would be rock hard one minute,completely flaccid the other...and she didnt really turned me on...well long story short, i got completely un-horny...couldnt get a hard on and came 2wice in like 30secs. then i fell asleep on the hookers boobs.

It was a financial disaster.


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Anonymous #52

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8228957 - 04/02/08 02:29 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

You_suck


never again


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Anonymous #51

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #52]
    #8229021 - 04/02/08 02:44 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

you are never gonna suck dick again?


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Anonymous #51

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #51]
    #8229060 - 04/02/08 02:51 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

unexpected projectile ejaculation on the face.  :rockon:


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Anonymous #53

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8232339 - 04/03/08 05:50 AM (15 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Let’s hear them! I have two to share.  All start with number two.

When was in highschool I got this pot head chick all shitfaced and convinced her to let me fuck her in the ass.  She passed out whilst I was fucking her and released a huge dump on my dick.  Right after that she woke up and said, “I think I pooped on you”.  Next day her friends tell me she has Herpes.

I didn’t get the Herp, but my young mind was scared for life.

It was a sexual disaster!

But the number one all time nastiest disaster was when I bought a full service escourt.  We started fucking and she was pretty raunchy, I had trouble getting it up, and since I had to fuck her with a condom I also had trouble coming.

I only paid for one hour of service, and she was starting to pressure me to cum so I tyold her to use her hand.  Still wasn’t working, so I told her to sit on my face and I ate her out while she jacked me off.  I finally came and immediately realized how bad I had just fucked up

After she left I literally spent an hour washing my mouth out with every antiseptic I could find in my house.  This included Listerine, Iso Alcohol, and peroxide.  Yes I washed my mouth out more than one with each of those substances.  Yes it probably knocked 10 years off of my life.

It was a sexual disaster!




PW3d :lol:


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Anonymous #54

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #53]
    #8233388 - 04/03/08 01:06 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

This is about a friend of mine.

A different friend owns a penthouse apartment in south Miami and had a bunch of girls over. My friend was getting friendly with one of the girls throughout the night. In the early morning after everyone gets fucked up and everyone is either passed out or hooking up, we hear screams from outside on the balcony. Not screams of pleasure, but the most blood curdling screams imaginable like some bitch is getting rape choked. Then the yelling starts. Some of us get up to go see what happens when the girl who was with my friend comes running in, hysterical, hands covered in blood like she ripped someone's heart out.

Going outside, the friend is butt naked from the waist down and his legs are covered in blood. He's fucking losing it and we find out that somehow the head of his dick ripped in half and is pouring out blood. We end up driving his ass to the hospital while the girl is holding his underwear up to his dick trying to stop some blood loss with this deer in headlights look on her face.

There was so much blood.

At the hospital he ends up getting his dick cleaned off and bandaged up by this gay 300lb black guy. They sent him off with bandages and cream. The apartment looked like a murder scene with a pool of blood and bloody clothes scattered around where it happened and trails of blood leading everywhere.

He won't say exactly how it happened.

It was a sexual disaster!


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Anonymous #55

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #54]
    #8234132 - 04/03/08 04:12 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

The first time I had sex was at a house which a friend was housesitting at for the summer, and there were several of us there getting drunk and stoned. Later 2 other girls showed up, one who I hadn't met before and one who I might've. So, I ended up laying the one I had never met downstairs, and a friend did the one I might've met before, upstairs. I was pretty fried, and lasted a good minute or two. As soon as I came, I lost my hard-on 100% and didn't even bother trying to keep going, or get it up again. I just burnt out and just went home.

It was a sexual disaster!

For her, hahahaha. I'll bet she was pissed.


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Anonymous #55

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #55]
    #8234195 - 04/03/08 04:25 PM (15 years, 9 months ago)

I haven't had sex in a long time.

It's a sexual disaster!


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