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Anonymous #26
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #38]
#7740167 - 12/10/07 11:45 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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be a man you should have blown a load in her shit
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Anonymous #9
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #38]
#7740217 - 12/10/07 11:56 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I had always wanted to try anal sex. I'd read about how it's DEFINITELY a good idea for the recipient to get an enema or 2 beforehand, and to have LOTS of lube on hand. Well, my gf at the time wasn't all that open to it (even though she liked the finger in the ass while fucking her from behind). One night we're fucking and she says, "stick it in my ass", really wanting to please me and I'm thinking fuck yeah! So i lightly lube up a bit with my spit, and slowly start to work it into her hole.
EWWWWWW! The fucking smell was HORRENDOUS! It made me gag, and it was so horrible i just had to stop and go clean off my dick (which had some brown spots on it, fucking EEEWWWWW!). It smelled worse than any normal shit too, i dunno wtf that was all about. Neither of us were pleased, and all she really had to say was "you're the one who wanted it".
Well, if there ever is a next time, i will definitely go about it in a cleaner manner.
Every chick I have ever done in the ass there has never been an odor or shitstains on my dick afterward.
You just gotta make sure she's not prairie doggin before you stick it in. Which pretty much means ask her if she's got a turtle head poking out because if so then you're asking for trouble.
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Anonymous #39
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
#7742854 - 12/10/07 09:37 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I got really fucken drunk one night at a bar, and wound up getting a ride home from some gay guy...only...we went back to his house instead - where he fucked me up the ass, and made me walk home from there
that one was certainly a disaster
MUPPET!
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Anonymous #40
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #39]
#7742882 - 12/10/07 09:42 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Once bit self and pulled a muscle in my neck while masturbating furiously.
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Anonymous #41
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #40]
#7747592 - 12/11/07 11:27 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Finally, after years of waiting, I was about to have sex! Me and a friend had been hooking up for a while, just making out and stuff. We were pretty drunk and went back to my room to watch 40 year old virgin (how ironic!). Things got intimate very close, and soon we were both totally naked. She reminded me she was on birth control, and I went for the kill. Only problem was IT WOULDN'T FIT! I'm not saying I have a massive penis, it's probably just about average, she was just a very petite girl with quite the tight vag. After all the waiting to finally "lose my virginity" I couldn't get the damn thing in, I could just get a half inch or so in, and it just wouldn't work out! She told me it had happened before with her last boyfriend. We hung out only a few times after that, then we grew apart. Even though I didn't have full blown sex, I still tell people I'm not a virgin, since I think it's embarrassing, and who knows, maybe 1/2 inch counts!
Not as bad as 99% of the things in this thread, but still, in my eyes, a sexual disaster!
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Anonymous #41
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #41]
#7747672 - 12/11/07 11:51 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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A close female friend of mine was getting nailed in the ass by her boyfriend at the time in his living room. Parents open the front door, he pulls out extremely fast, liquid shit pours out all over the place, he throws up everywhere, his parents FLIP out and go cry in the bedroom as he cleans everything up.
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Anonymous #30
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #41]
#7747676 - 12/11/07 11:53 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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hahahahaha
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #41]
#7748073 - 12/12/07 05:26 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: A close female friend of mine was getting nailed in the ass by her boyfriend at the time in his living room. Parents open the front door, he pulls out extremely fast, liquid shit pours out all over the place, he throws up everywhere, his parents FLIP out and go cry in the bedroom as he cleans everything up.
now that's a sexual disaster
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Anonymous #29
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #41]
#7748082 - 12/12/07 05:37 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: A close female friend of mine was getting nailed in the ass by her boyfriend at the time in his living room. Parents open the front door, he pulls out extremely fast, liquid shit pours out all over the place, he throws up everywhere, his parents FLIP out and go cry in the bedroom as he cleans everything up.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #41]
#7748721 - 12/12/07 10:55 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Finally, after years of waiting, I was about to have sex! Me and a friend had been hooking up for a while, just making out and stuff. We were pretty drunk and went back to my room to watch 40 year old virgin (how ironic!). Things got intimate very close, and soon we were both totally naked. She reminded me she was on birth control, and I went for the kill. Only problem was IT WOULDN'T FIT! I'm not saying I have a massive penis, it's probably just about average, she was just a very petite girl with quite the tight vag. After all the waiting to finally "lose my virginity" I couldn't get the damn thing in, I could just get a half inch or so in, and it just wouldn't work out! She told me it had happened before with her last boyfriend. We hung out only a few times after that, then we grew apart. Even though I didn't have full blown sex, I still tell people I'm not a virgin, since I think it's embarrassing, and who knows, maybe 1/2 inch counts!
Not as bad as 99% of the things in this thread, but still, in my eyes, a sexual disaster!
Sounds like either you weren't hard enough or she wasn't wet enough. Next time make the girl get on top, that might help. And lots of foreplay for the girl helps.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#7748734 - 12/12/07 11:00 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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either that - or homeboy here is even more of a pedophile then me
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Anonymous #35
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
#7748808 - 12/12/07 11:16 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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It's funny how Tangerines cant post in this thread
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Anonymous #11
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #35]
#7748874 - 12/12/07 11:27 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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yeah sounds like she needed to slobber on ur cock for a bit before you put it in.
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Anonymous #7
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #11]
#7748941 - 12/12/07 11:39 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: yeah sounds like she needed to slobber on ur cock for a bit before you put it in.
a girl's natural lubricant is more effective than spit. so he would have been better off eating her out and getting her juices flowing.
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Anonymous #11
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
#7748966 - 12/12/07 11:43 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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well the spit is just there to ease the first thrust man, the girl will start oozing after that.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #11]
#7751402 - 12/12/07 09:16 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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No he should have eaten her pussy.
MEN, EAT MORE PUSSY!
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Anonymous #7
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#7752270 - 12/13/07 12:46 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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i can honestly say i eat it almost every opportunity i get, given that the girl is attractive and clean. it's a huge turn on for me.
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Anonymous #19
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
#7752451 - 12/13/07 02:30 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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once an asian women told me she laughs when she gets her pussy eaten
she said she imagines the guy is cleaning her cunt out
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Anonymous #42
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
#7752516 - 12/13/07 03:44 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Where is a disaster from a female POV?
My sexual disasters are pretty much the female norm- losing interest halfway through and wishing for it to be over faster. Then there was the time the guy I lost my virginity to didn't like to wear a condom so 'sex' was a few minutes of 'we should stop now, I don't want to have a baby.' Then there was the one night stand last summer, with my roomate's friend who I'd known for a few weeks and talked to quite a few times- who forgot that he knew me the next time we saw each other- last weekend. The sex was really bad for me and I had to suffer the gossip around the house the next morning, which made being forgotten about even more irritating. I'd say 60-70% of the sex I've had has sucked and I've had several partners over the course of several years so the problem is not a lack of experience.
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Anonymous #19
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #42]
#7752606 - 12/13/07 05:29 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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lack of enthusiasm?
should a guy just start wanking off half way through because you cum so fast?
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