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Anonymous #26

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #7728373 - 12/07/07 11:30 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

these pussy eating stories just reminded me of this.

i was 17, she was 16
this chick had the tightest pussy posible, super hot too
this was the pussy dreams are made of, no shit
you couldn't hardly get your dick in this chick, and when you did get it in all you could do was wiggle your dick around up in there, it was too tight to actually fuck.

anyways, she used to make me eat her pussy to get it super wet before i tried to put it in.
the first few times were cool, but after a few days of fucking her and shooting loads in her hole
there was an awesome cheese buildup on her pussy.
really thick awesome pussy cheese
i used to have to give the pussy one lick and then give the sheet on the bed a lick
to scrape that shit off my tongue
one for the puss
one for the sheet
one for the puss
one for the sheet

totally worth every second though


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Anonymous #30

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #26]
    #7728393 - 12/07/07 11:37 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Oh shit...I almost forgot.  I was making out with this girl who I was fucking for a long time and I started to attempt to go down on her and she kept trying to stop me.  Her face got all red and I could tell she was embarrassed and hiding something.  So, I just normal intercoursed her.  I later found out she was fucking other dudes and some of them were just blowing their loads inside of her.  So, I almost ate another guy's semen.  Thank God the ho stopped me.  That's the only favor she ever did for me actually.  :shrug:

It was almost a sexual disaster!


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Anonymous #21

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #30]
    #7728976 - 12/07/07 02:24 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

"Hey Dreamer987,

just thought I'd let you know, telling girls that you are homeless and have nowhere to go really isn't a great way to put the moves on them. Kind of screams loser.

No offense meant. "


For an adult this is sexual suicide.
When your 16, and your trying to get with a lady thats got her own house, how can she say no to a kid whose parents put him out on the street for smoking pot, and he's gonna have to go sleep under a bridge tonight:sad:.
I didn't have enough mack back than to say:
"hey lets go back to your place, and party after this" My voice would have gotten all squeaky, and i probly would have hyperventalated.
This put her in a position where she had to make the moves.

The funniest part, was all night she was going off about being a super huge mega lesbian. "not attracted to dick at all" yada yada. I knew better.

-dreamer987


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Anonymous #19

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7731465 - 12/08/07 12:31 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

i liked the pencil in a toilet paper tube story

:lol:


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Anonymous #10

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #19]
    #7735056 - 12/08/07 10:52 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

My sister started fucking me when I was 4 and she was 9, until I was 10 and she was 15. Between knowing about sex from elementary age, to boundary issues as an adult, up to recent years of therapy for having the urge to fuck everything in sight.

It has always been a sexual disaster.


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Anonymous #32

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #7735108 - 12/08/07 11:13 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Best Thread EVER.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #32]
    #7735224 - 12/09/07 12:11 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Best Thread EVER.



fuck yeah it is  :craven:


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Anonymous #17

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7735635 - 12/09/07 07:34 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

I see that some of you all have said that fucking while your chick is on the rag is nasty..fuck that..that's the best time to do it. So warm and inviting..Only have had one mishap with it.. I was fucking this bitch in a log cabin one time and we've been going at it for several hours..same bitch who blacked my eye with her brown eye.. and she gets up to switch positions(we are in total dark) and I feel something splatter from my dick to my chest..as we were fucking she must have caught air in her fucking cooter. LOL Forced that shit out like a pressurized gun...POW Blood splatter but no crime scene. :peace:

"I don't trust an upside down hole that holds water"


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Anonymous #17

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #20]
    #7735650 - 12/09/07 07:51 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I was going down on a girl and she let out the biggest fart in my face. I felt the fucking wind on my neck.
I would have been ok with it had it not actually stunk really bad (the fart, not the pussy).
it was a sexual disaster!

A girl also licked on my toes while I had a serious bout of athletes foot... I mean she was gobbling and slobbering all over my feet for a good 20 minutes and didnt say anything. Really, it doesnt do anything for me, but she seemed to be getting off on it so I rolled with it. Later, my roommate said some remark about how I always have athletes foot, in front of her, and she got really pissed.




Soak your feet in 80% water, 10% bleach and 10% baby oil. Keep the bad foot fungi away, also eliminates odors as long as you don't have sweaty/nasty/smelly shoes.


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Anonymous #26

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #17]
    #7736106 - 12/09/07 10:55 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

while we're giving out anti fungal advice here
i'll go ahead and say that you can also soak your feet in 1/2 water 1/2 apple cider vinegar also


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Anonymous #33

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #26]
    #7736863 - 12/09/07 02:16 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Also try soaking your feet in 10M H2SO4 acid. I find that works pretty well too.


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Anonymous #34

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #33]
    #7737009 - 12/09/07 02:54 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

LOL


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Anonymous #11

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #34]
    #7737015 - 12/09/07 02:55 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

10 M!!!!!!

:crazy2:


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Anonymous #35

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #7737105 - 12/09/07 03:27 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

So I'm balls deep in your mom's asshole, right?
And I'm railin', and she let's out this fart that blew me back like three feet!
So I'm like "Look bitch, if I'm gonna give you a hot beef injection in the fart tank, you'd better be runnin' on empty!"

True story.

It was a sexual disaster.


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Anonymous #11

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #35]
    #7737204 - 12/09/07 03:56 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

i was about to cum and the girls teeth hit my penis head.  it felt like she poked it with a needle.

then she asked if i was going to cum. 

not now! :kingcrankey:


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Anonymous #19

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #7737335 - 12/09/07 04:44 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

you could have turned it into a success if you slapped her when she asked


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Anonymous #2

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #19]
    #7737613 - 12/09/07 06:11 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

To the one who ate out the cheesy girl: she probably had a yeast infection. Eew.


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Anonymous #36

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7737923 - 12/09/07 07:33 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

2 years ago i was with a girl but i couldn't get it up and when i did i didn't last long and she didn't cum

that never happened to me before

it made me feel inadequate and insecure

i'm still healing

it was a sexual disaster


this is probably ythans favorite forum...lol


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Anonymous #37

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #7738722 - 12/09/07 10:48 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

shrooms, 2 bottles of midori, can't get it up when i do I blow my load after 30seconds...


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Anonymous #38

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #37]
    #7739952 - 12/10/07 10:46 AM (16 years, 1 month ago)

I had always wanted to try anal sex. I'd read about how it's DEFINITELY a good idea for the recipient to get an enema or 2 beforehand, and to have LOTS of lube on hand. Well, my gf at the time wasn't all that open to it (even though she liked the finger in the ass while fucking her from behind). One night we're fucking and she says, "stick it in my ass", really wanting to please me and I'm thinking fuck yeah! So i lightly lube up a bit with my spit, and slowly start to work it into her hole.

EWWWWWW! The fucking smell was HORRENDOUS! It made me gag, and it was so horrible i just had to stop and go clean off my dick (which had some brown spots on it, fucking EEEWWWWW!). It smelled worse than any normal shit too, i dunno wtf that was all about. Neither of us were pleased, and all she really had to say was "you're the one who wanted it".

Well, if there ever is a next time, i will definitely go about it in a cleaner manner.


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