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Anonymous #47

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #98]
    #10341213 - 05/15/09 12:15 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

The story sounds like bullshit. Anyone who believes that is retarded.


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Anonymous #43

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #47]
    #10348079 - 05/16/09 10:41 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

It's fun to think about having sex on a hammock, although I knew from past experience that it just never works out all that well. A couple days ago another attempt at this turned into a problem that culminated in an unfortunate interruption. A group of feral cats attacked one of my neighbor's large domestic birds right next to us and I had to chase them off. I'm glad no one drove by to see this large bird trying to escape several cats with a naked guy wearing a condom sprinting after them through the yard, it was broad daylight. Understandably, the girl seemed to find the whole scene quite amusing, we decided to go inside after that. The bird escaped. It was a sexual disaster.


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Anonymous #124

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #47]
    #10359661 - 05/18/09 04:44 PM (14 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #47 said:
The story sounds like bullshit. Anyone who believes that is retarded.




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Anonymous #133

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #124]
    #10364596 - 05/19/09 02:27 PM (14 years, 8 months ago)

I dont believe the hydrochloric acid one but its a pretty crazy scenario. Lol at the hammock one. Man this thread makes me laugh hellllla hard over and over.

I cant say ive had any worthy of posting in here. Id guess the worst ive had is eating a puss that was pretty stinky and i had to not breath through my nose to keep it up. Ive also fucked a pretty fat bitch but honestly she was a clean one so no stink or nothing, just kinda hard to find her pussy and keep a boner. Plus i was drunk, of course :P. And i would never offer to give a fat chick head.. I try to avoid bad situations haha.

Oh well one of my exes would ride it and kinda come off the top a little and come back down just a little off, and like crush my dick and youd hear it pop when it bent. It makes me cringe thinking about it. My dicks fine though. annnd, oh yeah sometimes when id fuck her with her legs over my shoulders and id be "plunging in" if you will, and shed be all wide open, so every once in a while her pussy would suck in air and queef it back out XD. Pretty fuckin funny actually now that im thinking about it. Lol and everytime it happened shed be like ooohhh my goooodddd all embarrassed and shit haha, but i didnt wanna make her feel bad about it so id just be like heh and keep going. Wasnt bad or nothin just kinda funny haha. What do you expect though when you got a pussy all wide open in that position.


edit: OHHH YEAH! I forgot about this one till just now. Okay, with one of my exes when we first hooked up, we were all drunk partying with friends and shit in my new apartment and i ended up fucking her, with a condom. Well i was really drunk so put on a condom or w.e and i fucked her, and afterwards i didnt know where the condom was, i thought i musta took it off or something, didnt think anything of it. Well i didnt even know for months after we dated cause i guess she forgot to tell me or something, but apparently the next day when she was at home taking a piss, she found half the condom hanging out of her pussy. HAH! I guess she told her friend and shed tell me "Learn to pack out what you pack in"......bitch.


Edited by Anonymous (05/19/09 02:40 PM)


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Anonymous #75

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #133]
    #10368956 - 05/20/09 10:18 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

ok another story from a while ago...


i'm having cyber sex with my girlfriend at the time, with webcams, mutual masturbation if you will.

i'v just got some lube, other than that i am naked in my bed lying down, i also have not had an orgasm in 4 days at this point (a fucking long time for me) 

right as she starts cumming, i start cumming as well, incredibly hard to the point i am not thinking at all... well unfortunatly .5 seconds later i end up taking my huge load right in my face, not really realizing what the fuck just happened until a few seconds later!

luckily the girl was too busy with her own pleasure to notice, so i quickly wiped it off and did my best not to burst out laughing.


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Anonymous #10

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #75]
    #10368989 - 05/20/09 10:30 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

^ FAIL!


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Anonymous #59

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #10369043 - 05/20/09 10:50 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

ha that one happens to the best of us.


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Anonymous #134

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #59]
    #10370793 - 05/20/09 04:41 PM (14 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #59 said:
ha that one happens to the best of us.




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Anonymous #41

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #134]
    #10373814 - 05/21/09 01:52 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

Caught a queef in the mouth giving my girlfriend head after fucking her hard for awhile. Wasn't too bad.


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Anonymous #135

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #41]
    #10388220 - 05/23/09 08:34 PM (14 years, 8 months ago)

This happened to a FOAF - Basically, he was going down on his girlfriend, when they decided to spice things up so they put some candy up her pussy.
Anyhoo, he licks them out and eats um.. blah blah next day comes around and hes like "we should do that again sometime, i really enjoyed eating those 3 candies" to his girlfriends surprise because she tells him she only put 2 up there, turns out she had a yeast infection and afew weeks later he had to go to the doc because he had cysts all over his face.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #135]
    #10388406 - 05/23/09 09:16 PM (14 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah, she likely had a yeast infection from shoving candy up her snatch in the first place.

Food does not belong in the vagina.


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Anonymous #98

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #135]
    #10388671 - 05/23/09 10:21 PM (14 years, 8 months ago)

Sounds pretty dubious to me...


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Anonymous #136

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #98]
    #10390516 - 05/24/09 11:14 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

True story, I was dating this girl at the time that had previously told me how her father used to try and do things to her when she was younger. I really tried not to think about that at all while I was fucking her, I just wanted to bust a nut without feeling bad. Well, shes laying on her back moaning and all, and she looks up at me and says "my dad used to do this to me. It feels really good." So I WTF? and try to keep it going.

A few minutes later her dad walks out of his room to go to work. (at 1030 at night also) And since I wasn't supposed to be there, she asks me to get off of her for a minute until her dad leaves and we can resume fucking. So I put my boxers on and stand behind her bedroom door as she makes it look like shes sleeping in her bed. Her dad walks in and the conversation goes like this:

Dad: "Are you awake honey?"
Her: "mmhmm"
Dad: "you know, I dont have to be in work for another half hour, we should talk in my room"
Her: "no dad im too tired I just wanna sleep."
Dad: "should I take the night off of work?"
Her: "no dad they need you there"
Dad: "alright hon, Ill be back later for ya."

At this point Im like WTF WTF WTF. He leaves for work and I come out behind the door, put on my clothes and walk out the front door. I was too freaked out by the whole situation to stay and try to bust a nut in her flappy-ass pussy.

It was a sexual disaster!


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Anonymous #137

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #136]
    #10390529 - 05/24/09 11:17 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

I missed with the first kiss (years ago) and I couldn't stick it in the first time, woo go me for failing.


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Anonymous #64

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #136]
    #10390568 - 05/24/09 11:25 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #136 said:
True story, I was dating this girl at the time that had previously told me how her father used to try and do things to her when she was younger. I really tried not to think about that at all while I was fucking her, I just wanted to bust a nut without feeling bad. Well, shes laying on her back moaning and all, and she looks up at me and says "my dad used to do this to me. It feels really good." So I WTF? and try to keep it going.

A few minutes later her dad walks out of his room to go to work. (at 1030 at night also) And since I wasn't supposed to be there, she asks me to get off of her for a minute until her dad leaves and we can resume fucking. So I put my boxers on and stand behind her bedroom door as she makes it look like shes sleeping in her bed. Her dad walks in and the conversation goes like this:

Dad: "Are you awake honey?"
Her: "mmhmm"
Dad: "you know, I dont have to be in work for another half hour, we should talk in my room"
Her: "no dad im too tired I just wanna sleep."
Dad: "should I take the night off of work?"
Her: "no dad they need you there"
Dad: "alright hon, Ill be back later for ya."

At this point Im like WTF WTF WTF. He leaves for work and I come out behind the door, put on my clothes and walk out the front door. I was too freaked out by the whole situation to stay and try to bust a nut in her flappy-ass pussy.

It was a sexual disaster!




totaly fucked up


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Anonymous #98

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #64]
    #10391631 - 05/24/09 03:34 PM (14 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #64 said:
totaly fucked up




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Anonymous #138

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #98]
    #10422026 - 05/29/09 09:02 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

bump for lulz.


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Anonymous #139

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #138]
    #10450519 - 06/03/09 09:50 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

One time, when I was lying on my back getting a BJ from my at-the-time girlfriend (gorgeous, like the girls we all drool over) and I told her I was about to cum.
Well, just as I cum, she pulls my dick out of her mouth and aims it straight at my face.
I am moaning in pleasure and suddenly my dick shoots it's first arc straight into mouth.
We both laugh our asses off, but she keeps aiming it at me and it went into my mouth a couple more times.
That was a HUGE load.

It was not a sexual disaster, I am just bragging.

But I do have another story.
One time, when I was desperate (I was about 21 at the time) I drove like 2 hours to see this girl.  We ended up hitting it off and went back to her place and had sex.
She was pretty damn cute, other than that she had a single black tooth (some kind of dental disaster) and was kinda dumb as a rock.
So we kept seeing each other and fucking and sucking and fucking.
Then one time I go to eat her out and BAM lots cream cheese suddenly in my face.  I try to eat her out, but I sit up and she suddenly shoves my (uncondemed) dick into her pussy, and I suddenly start to cum inside her.  Fortunately, I pulled my dick out and blew a load on her body.
The first BJ she gave me, I told her that I wanted to see my cum in her mouth, and as she was showing it to me, she spilled it all over my body.  Yuck.  Not too big a deal though.
Finally, when I finally decided to stop seeing her was when she called me up to tell me that her boyfriend had left her.  And she was crying to me.  "He told me he loved me!"  And all I could think was "if you were in love with him, why were you seeing me?"
Finally, I learned that she had a kid about a year later.  Whoo boy, I dodged a bullet pulling my dick out there.

It was a sexual disaster.  For her.  And me.  More of a trainwreck, really.


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Anonymous #140

Cottage cheese [Re: Anonymous #139]
    #10450596 - 06/03/09 10:06 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Then one time I go to eat her out and BAM lots cream cheese suddenly in my face.




Huh? Cottage cheese? wtf is that?


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Anonymous #141

Re: Cottage cheese [Re: Anonymous #140]
    #10450633 - 06/03/09 10:13 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Yeast infection.


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