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Anonymous #126
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #124]
#9872210 - 02/26/09 07:38 PM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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First time I was fingering a girl in 6th or 7th grade, I couldn't find her pussy at first and she laughed at me.
One time I was like 14, rolling, and making out w/ this fat college chick and she wouldn't suck me off, I finally talked her into it she only did it for like 30 seconds and it felt really good too! Then I was gonna eat her pussy and I was almost down there and it smelled like something was dying and I couldn't breathe. I literally had to get up and go into the other bathroom and smoke two bowls in rapid succession just to regain my head. I think it probably upset her pretty bad. She wanted me to fuck her after I came back w/o a condom("she was on the pill") I just couldn't bring myself to lose my virginity to her.
Another time this girl I really liked was giving me head and she like scratched my dick with her teeth everytime up and down and made me wanna scream.
I went upstairs and had the oppurtunity to fuck her we were both naked n shit. I was hard for a minute, then trying to open the fucking condom in the dark I lost my woody and couldn't get it back. Naturally she was being a whore and god knows I didn't want her giving me head after she tried to bite off my dick downstairs. It was all dark and shit too, I can't even hardly get fucking horny in the dark, I need to be making eye contact and have some visual stimulation. FUCK. I think I broke it off with her a few days or weeks later, I should have just fucked her! I am such a failure at life.
I have still yet to get laid.
*puts pistol in mouth*
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Anonymous #8
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #126]
#9872301 - 02/26/09 07:48 PM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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hello oxygen
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Anonymous #124
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #8]
#9872329 - 02/26/09 07:51 PM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #8 said: hello oxygen
or poid. but he uses smileys way crazy like.
either way-it was a sexual disaster!
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Anonymous #39
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #124]
#9872449 - 02/26/09 08:12 PM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #8 said: i had sex with americalovesfear, it was a sexual disaster!
Who are you?
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Anonymous #124
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #39]
#9872463 - 02/26/09 08:15 PM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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who are you?
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Anonymous #39
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #124]
#9872465 - 02/26/09 08:16 PM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Ythan
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Anonymous #47
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #39]
#9872476 - 02/26/09 08:17 PM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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knew it.
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Anonymous #127
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #47]
#9873063 - 02/26/09 09:47 PM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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This is a story that was told to me by a friend.
So this dude and this girl hook up somewhere, he brings her to his place and the fun starts. They end up fucking for hours, having a great time. In the morning before buddy goes off to work, he tells the chick that he had a great time and all that jazz. "You can leave when you're ready" he says..."just make sure you get all your things before the door closes, it locks automatically" So he goes off to work. The chick needed to take a shit, she goes to the washroom, does the deed, but finds out that the toilet is plugged. ..how emberassing! So not wanting to give herself an image of a grimey bitch, she scoops her turds into a plastic bag with the intent of taking them with her. On her way out, she goes to the kitchen counter and leaves buddy a note telling him to give her a call and blah blah blah. While she was writing the note, she placed the bag of turds on to the counter top. She finished up, grabbed all her belongings and proceeded to take an exit. As soon as she got outside and heard the door slam behind her, it hit her, "oh my god, I left my shit on the counter!"
Since the door locked itself, she was unable to regain access and ended up walking away, her head hung in shame.
Needless to say, he never called her.
That, is a sexual disaster.
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Anonymous #128
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #127]
#9873253 - 02/26/09 10:19 PM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Actually that's just awesome.
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Anonymous #98
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #128]
#9874014 - 02/27/09 01:20 AM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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Anonymous #129
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #98]
#9876898 - 02/27/09 12:45 PM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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lmao that's great!
First time having sex I was so nervous my erection went down when i was getting a condom, and then after I finally got hard enough to put it on I came within 15 seconds. It was a sexual disaster! For her
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Anonymous #130
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #129]
#9886595 - 02/28/09 08:02 PM (14 years, 10 months ago) |
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my girlfriend was on the birth control Depo and it would make her bleed, profusely i might add, while we were having sex. Sometimes we wouldnt notice and both our crotches and my bed sheets would be totally covered in blood.
Also one time when i was young i was messing around with my best friends sister behind his back. It was the second time we were doing something sexual and her mom walked in on us. She is a very large, elderly old-school woman from mexico who barely spoke english, so you can only imagine how that went. GAH that was bad.
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Anonymous #131
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
#10336521 - 05/14/09 06:18 AM (14 years, 8 months ago) |
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BUMP!!!!!
very very few threads had me laugh this hard in the morning  
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Anonymous #132
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
#10336580 - 05/14/09 06:48 AM (14 years, 8 months ago) |
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Oh hay, posting in a year old thread.
But I've never really had anything go wrong for me. I've done anal with my girl a few times, but no nasty stories.
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Anonymous #98
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #132]
#10336587 - 05/14/09 06:53 AM (14 years, 8 months ago) |
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LOL I was actually thinking about bumping this thread. There must be lots of new users with stories to share
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Anonymous #59
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #98]
#10336651 - 05/14/09 07:35 AM (14 years, 8 months ago) |
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my weiner wouldn't fit in my ex gf's tight little butthole...
and my new girlfriend won't let me dshsb.
my life is a sexual disaster
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Anonymous #132
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #59]
#10336936 - 05/14/09 09:41 AM (14 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #59 said: my weiner wouldn't fit in my ex gf's tight little butthole...
I have the same trouble with my gf. Anyone know a good way to make it not hurt? I mean, besides liquor and Vaseline.
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Anonymous #124
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #59]
#10336940 - 05/14/09 09:41 AM (14 years, 8 months ago) |
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i had sex in the university's chem lab. there was an experiment that I just held but we didn't have time to clean up. through the grinding and back hand flips, we knocked over two 500ml beakers of hydrochloric acid. i was able to avoid the mess, but my, he wasn't so lucky. it burned his face off pretty much. i couldn't bare to look at him anymore so I left him for the cute chem student. it was a sexual disaster for that boy.
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Anonymous #124
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #132]
#10336946 - 05/14/09 09:44 AM (14 years, 8 months ago) |
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saliva.
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Anonymous #98
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Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #124]
#10338765 - 05/14/09 04:27 PM (14 years, 8 months ago) |
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Let me guess, it burnt off one side of his face? You better watch out. He's back, and he wants REVENGE.
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