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Anonymous #75

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #105]
    #9071267 - 10/13/08 02:04 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

lets keep this thread alive!...

For the past week i have been trying to anal my girlfriend to no avail.  Finally, yesterday I got in.  About five minutes later however my girlfriend frantically told me to pull out, and then proceeded to shit on my bed :frown: .

it was a shitty sexual distaster!


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Anonymous #59

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #75]
    #9071586 - 10/13/08 03:35 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

EW!

I remember trying with my ex, and more often than not, her bumhole was just too tight.  However, the only nastiness on my bed was a bunch of cherry scented lube.

I did get it in 2 or 3 times though, and it helped if she was a little drunk.


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Anonymous #104

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #75]
    #9072406 - 10/13/08 06:27 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #75 said:
lets keep this thread alive!...

For the past week i have been trying to anal my girlfriend to no avail.  Finally, yesterday I got in.  About five minutes later however my girlfriend frantically told me to pull out, and then proceeded to shit on my bed :frown: .

it was a shitty sexual distaster!



:haha:


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Anonymous #106

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #22]
    #9073197 - 10/13/08 08:58 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

ok. so i had my gf over. we were watching in bruge cool movie and stuff. and after it finished something came over us and we started making out like made. got her bra off shirt off and well really all her clothes off. we moved to my bed because the couch sucks balls. So everything is going awesome at this point. she is really turned on and shit is going good. we had forplay for like an hour and its still going good. then we decide to bump nasties. now i dont usually use a condom. but i thought eh what the hell. i bust off to fast anyways maybe this will help. so prolly like 15 mins into i bust. didnt let her knwo tho.

painfully i kept my dick in there and tried to keep a straight face. I just kept hitting it cuz she was really getting into. well to mysurprise i started falling out cuz my dick was getting soft. i look down at little jimmy there. and guess who decided to take a little detour.... mr cum filled condom decided he liked it in his hole and didnt want to come out. i freaked out and started looking around on my bed. then she finally said something.


it was a SEXUAL DISASTER...


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Anonymous #98

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #75]
    #9074848 - 10/14/08 06:18 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #75 said:
About five minutes later however my girlfriend frantically told me to pull out, and then proceeded to shit on my bed :frown: .




Please tell me you had a cup handy


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Anonymous #107

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #98]
    #9074888 - 10/14/08 06:37 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

best sexual disaster..

i was allowed to cum on my girls face ONLY ONCE.  i won some bet and i was cashing in on the facial.

i pull out, she drops down and i bust all over her face as her mom walks in.  strangely her mom looked turned on but slammed the door after watching for 10-15 seconds.

-blackout


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Anonymous #80

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9078072 - 10/14/08 07:59 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

Was dating this girl for about 18 months. One night, during anal, I gave her a "pink sock". I didn't know what the fuck to do. I freaked the fuck out, bailed, and never talked to her again.

It was around her senior prom too, so I'm sure she's scarred for life.


Trust me when I say this: the pink sock is a major fucking sexual disaster.


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Anonymous #26

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #80]
    #9078206 - 10/14/08 08:20 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

i would have poked it back in with my dick
and then carried on business like usual


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Anonymous #108

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #9078255 - 10/14/08 08:26 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

ALL thes are fucking funny  :yoda2:  :coleman:


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Anonymous #107

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #108]
    #9081667 - 10/15/08 01:56 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

wtf is a pink sock?


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Anonymous #107

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #107]
    #9081674 - 10/15/08 01:57 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

ok,  i found out what a pink sock was....... LMFAO!


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Anonymous #26

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #107]
    #9081687 - 10/15/08 01:59 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)



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Anonymous #109

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #26]
    #9083196 - 10/15/08 07:29 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

My girlfriend needing physiotherapy on her jaw :rolleyes:


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Anonymous #110

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #109]
    #9085147 - 10/16/08 03:15 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

I was fucking my first serious girlfriend on her period.  We had some amazing sex and she was on birth control so I came inside her.

She sat up and coughed and this disgusting red/white blood/cum mix comes bubbling and oozing out of her.

It was so gross that I am still turned off too period sex to this day.

It was a sexual disaster!


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Anonymous #1

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9085164 - 10/16/08 03:45 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

Nice to see my thread has grown so nicely. :smile:


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Anonymous #106

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9085820 - 10/16/08 10:23 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

YOU ALL DISGUST ME!!


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Anonymous #111

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #106]
    #9086656 - 10/16/08 01:17 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

I had "whiskey dick" once when I was in grade 12. I was absolutely fucking hammered and this girl who I'd had my eye on basically offered herself to me... she had a boyfriend however. I was sitting in the room when she kissed her boyfriend and told him that I was going to give her a "sober ride home".

Anyways. My parents were at home and so were hers so we decided to have a little back seat action in my car. Now when I KNOW I'm going to get laid getting a hard on just happens... I don't have to think about it.

But not that night. I think it was because I was so drunk but I wasn't getting hard. So I went down on her for like 20 minutes and made her cum a few times... by the end of that she was begging for my cock.

I explained the situation to her. "I uh... don't seem to be getting hard. I don't know what the fuck is going on."

She decided to "help me"

Basically, she sucked my totally limp dick for like 45 minutes and JUST as I feel myself getting hard she stops and says "Okay. You aren't comfortable with this... you should have just said so."

She ended up becoming my girlfriend a few months later and then I was able to show her what I'm normally capable of... but I'm still a little embarrassed about that night.


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Anonymous #112

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #111]
    #9090621 - 10/17/08 08:59 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

1. My sexual disaster was all me I decided to try 400mg.'s of BZP. I took it at about 3:30 and started making a nice dinner and letting her know I was gonna wear that ass out later, all kinds of advance's.
  Well 11:00 rolls around and I've built this sexual tension up for so long we are both ready she bends over and just gives it up and for about 10 sec. I was feeling like Ron Jaremy then as quick as it happened I went to a most limp fucking mess, shit was like Jell-o I sat there trying to get that shit to do something but was left with a wet noodle. I felt sorry for everyone involved.
  2. This one was all her. We were fucking going strong when we decided that we needed to use the facilties. I sat down to piss because I was sporting a massive hardon and pissing standing up wasn't an option, since this was the only bathroom available she's standing there waiting telling me she really needed to use it, so of course a take a bit longer and decided to say something funny she starts laughing and puts her hand over asshole and preceeds to fill it up with  shit while laughing her head off. Needless to say things changed in our relationship after that It's amazing leverage, hope she doesn't read this!


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Anonymous #106

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #112]
    #9090649 - 10/17/08 09:05 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

she shit in her hands?! say what?! that is one fucked up bitch


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Anonymous #56

Re: Lets here your sexual disasters. Be Honest! [Re: Anonymous #106]
    #9090684 - 10/17/08 09:12 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Quote:

she starts laughing and puts her hand over asshole and preceeds to fill it up with  shit while laughing her head off.






Jesus tittyfucking Christ! What did you do right after that?


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