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Offlinehecknotechno
leanin' like a 3legged lion
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Registered: 08/26/06
Posts: 182
Loc: DEAD CENTER USA
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
Dear Shroomery, im stuck.
    #7708563 - 12/02/07 09:31 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

dear shroomery,

i come to you tonight in hopes that you can direct me.

ive had this friend (a girl) that i met sr. year highschool, me and my buddies met her while she was having a rollin party @ her parents house and weve been everyday friends ever since.
the down side is that she is plus size maybe 220+ and thinks shes super model hot.
i live with this girl in a 4 bedroom house her father bought her i pay rent and do my duties, but its just me and her....we have 2 extra rooms she has failed to fill.

so with all this time together we butt heads constantly, and its breaking me down day by day. i feel i cant get my feelings out here but this is a big problem in my head.

shes constantly bitching about guys and not getting any ever. shes givin maybe 2 WASSSSTED guys dome ever, and brags about how shes the shit at head? ive found lube and dildos all over her room and ive yakked. me and my buddies are alwasy talking about hot chicks when we all go out to eat and dosent she see
-"hey i dont look like that....so im not hot....maybe i should do something about it"
no one has ever adressed the weight, and watching TV is awkward when all those "YOUR FAT TAKE LIPOZENE" commercials on.

pretty much im stuck with a

no jobbed
pot inhaling
intertubed tummy (no lie, like one of those donuts)
sexually frustrated
shy
scorpio


she talks shit and sucks the fun out everything after ive got laid and am all happy n shit.

she recently wants to get a dog and im fully against it (not dogs, just her having a dog) atleast while im here.
so i dont kno weather to cut ties, break lease and move into a one bedroom

this story goes way deeper than this, but all the pot ive smoked has clogged my brain and i cant get my thoughts out to well...so i will stop rambling.


--------------------
REAL EYES
REALIZE
REAL LIES

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Offlinecoda
Banjo Goiter
Male


Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 8,750
Last seen: 1 year, 7 days
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: hecknotechno]
    #7708577 - 12/02/07 09:35 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

man, if it's that much of a problem and your roomies feel the same, kick her the fuck out. It's a bonus if her names not on the lease because she holds no legal right to stay there either and you can lock her out of the house without any legal repercussions.


--------------------
To get really high is to forget yourself. And to forget yourself is to see everything else. And to see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe. And I think every human being should be a conscious tool of the universe. . . .

-JG

i really am glad you came back to us instead of taking the other path. *hug*

-A_S (RIP your final words to me will never be forgotten)



Don't fuck with the laughing jesus.

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InvisibleAlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 11,181
Loc: Solar Circuit
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: hecknotechno]
    #7708584 - 12/02/07 09:37 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

wait, her father bought the house and you pay rent? or did i misinterpret that?


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Offlinemushroomplume
Stranger

Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 1,395
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: coda]
    #7708594 - 12/02/07 09:40 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

She's in denial. Just be nice to her. If she makes fun of you, just laugh it off, she's the one who's wrong. It seems like you have something to prove to her and both of your ego's are getting in the way.

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OfflineXeluc
Traveler
Male


Registered: 04/11/07
Posts: 746
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: mushroomplume]
    #7708605 - 12/02/07 09:44 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

If her dad bought the house, do you have a lease with HER or something? is it in writing? What's going on?

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OfflineCaribou_Lou
Stranger


Registered: 10/17/07
Posts: 2,510
Loc: Never Land
Last seen: 13 years, 22 days
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: mushroomplume]
    #7708608 - 12/02/07 09:44 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Hahahaha.. that sounds horrible!

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Offlinerodfarva
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=====-----=-=-=-=-I
Male


Registered: 07/31/07
Posts: 4,982
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: Caribou_Lou]
    #7708658 - 12/02/07 09:56 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

get one of your unsuspecting buddies wasted and have him hop in that mess so she isnt so damn bitchy. Ive never met a girl that gives shit when she is getting off more than 15 times a week.


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Offlinehecknotechno
leanin' like a 3legged lion
Male User Gallery


Registered: 08/26/06
Posts: 182
Loc: DEAD CENTER USA
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: rodfarva]
    #7708695 - 12/02/07 10:05 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

her dad is rich as fuck, and he bought her a house to live in and said "hey find 3 people to live with"

I FOUND THOSE 3 people....everyone backed out but me, she LIVES here, and i signed a lease with her father.

it has gotten so bad that when i get wasted @ the keggers I THROW (i throw the parties, she has no network of friends outside of me and my buddies) i go up to people and ask if they would hit that.....even my black homies steer clear..

i just want to let everyone know there would be a FUPA you have to get past....its that bad.

this christmas im hoping to get a glass torach so i may lock myself in our basement and blow glass for hours and hours (with ventilation of course)

my mom just says tough the 9 months out, but i would rather move closer to home, school& my girlfriend so i can get laid more often :grin:


--------------------
REAL EYES
REALIZE
REAL LIES

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OfflineBrAiN
Art Fag
 User Gallery
Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 6,875
Loc: Chocolate City
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: hecknotechno]
    #7708722 - 12/02/07 10:11 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

hecknotechno said:i live with this girl in a 4 bedroom house her father bought her i pay rent and do my duties, but its just me and her....we have 2 extra rooms she has failed to fill.





220 lb and can't fill 2 rooms? I find that hard to believe

Da dum tsshhhhh

waka waka waka..

(taps his mic)

is this thing on?

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OfflineBrAiN
Art Fag
 User Gallery
Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 6,875
Loc: Chocolate City
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: hecknotechno]
    #7708738 - 12/02/07 10:14 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

--

Edited by BrAiN (03/13/08 12:47 PM)

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OfflineXeluc
Traveler
Male


Registered: 04/11/07
Posts: 746
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: BrAiN]
    #7708750 - 12/02/07 10:17 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

BrAiN said:
Quote:

hecknotechno said:
her dad is rich as fuck, and he bought her a house to live in and said "hey find 3 people to live with"

I FOUND THOSE 3 people....everyone backed out but me, she LIVES here, and i signed a lease with her father.

it has gotten so bad that when i get wasted @ the keggers I THROW (i throw the parties, she has no network of friends outside of me and my buddies) i go up to people and ask if they would hit that.....even my black homies steer clear..

i just want to let everyone know there would be a FUPA you have to get past....its that bad.

this christmas im hoping to get a glass torach so i may lock myself in our basement and blow glass for hours and hours (with ventilation of course)

my mom just says tough the 9 months out, but i would rather move closer to home, school& my girlfriend so i can get laid more often :grin:




Just to warn you, she probably secretly wants your dick. I have the feeling if you bring chicks over she's gonna get all jealous and bitchy and eventually find way to sabatoge your love life.

Mark my words.

Just give the whale some dick

(omg I was drinking bottled water while typing that alst line and almost choked)




Oh God. Talk about taking one for the team. The... One person team.. Ouch.

Just barricade your half of the house. :grin:

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Offlinehecknotechno
leanin' like a 3legged lion
Male User Gallery


Registered: 08/26/06
Posts: 182
Loc: DEAD CENTER USA
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: BrAiN]
    #7708757 - 12/02/07 10:18 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

sadly guys,

ive givin moby my dick....AHAHAAHAH!!!!

but this was wayyyy wayyyy back in highschool withen the first month of meeting her.

got some dome...its sucked, i moved on....it hasnt affected our 4 year relationship we talk about it and laugh.

maybe ive dug myself into this shithole but ill dig myself out


--------------------
REAL EYES
REALIZE
REAL LIES

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OfflineBrAiN
Art Fag
 User Gallery
Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 6,875
Loc: Chocolate City
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: Xeluc]
    #7708769 - 12/02/07 10:21 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

If you need some extra money to break the lease, just steal the giant carbonite trophy of Han Solo she has and sell it.



God I hope someone gets that joke or I'm just gonna seem like a Star Wars nerd.

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OfflineBrAiN
Art Fag
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Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 6,875
Loc: Chocolate City
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: hecknotechno]
    #7708777 - 12/02/07 10:23 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Here's a pic of hecknotechno and his roommate sitting around watcing tv



Sorry.. sorry.. ok heck I'll stop.. had to get it outta my system

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OfflineXeluc
Traveler
Male


Registered: 04/11/07
Posts: 746
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: BrAiN]
    #7708783 - 12/02/07 10:23 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

It took 40 seconds, but yeah, haha.ha lol.
It only takes someone who's seen that movie.

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OfflineXeluc
Traveler
Male


Registered: 04/11/07
Posts: 746
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: BrAiN]
    #7708791 - 12/02/07 10:24 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

BrAiN said:
Here's a pic of hecknotechno and his roommate sitting around watcing tv



Sorry.. sorry.. ok heck I'll stop.. had to get it outta my system




hecknotechno is FINE.

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OfflineBrAiN
Art Fag
 User Gallery
Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 6,875
Loc: Chocolate City
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: Xeluc]
    #7708805 - 12/02/07 10:27 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

yea.. it could be worse. You could be stuck with a roommate that doesn't pay the bills. That's the worst...

followed by a roommate that trashes the house and never cleans. I hope she ain't like that. If she is... revert back to the above paragraph

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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: hecknotechno]
    #7708945 - 12/02/07 10:54 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

hecknotechno said:
even my black homies steer clear..




:rotfl:

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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Female User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: coda]
    #7709223 - 12/03/07 12:04 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

coda said:
man, if it's that much of a problem and your roomies feel the same, kick her the fuck out. It's a bonus if her names not on the lease because she holds no legal right to stay there either and you can lock her out of the house without any legal repercussions.




Hahahaha, did you read the post?

He only lives with her and her father owns the place.


--------------------



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InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: hecknotechno]
    #7709242 - 12/03/07 12:11 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

id get the hell out as soon as humanly possible.

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OfflineStonedShroom
OG shroomerite
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Registered: 10/21/00
Posts: 10,876
Last seen: 8 months, 28 days
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: hecknotechno]
    #7709284 - 12/03/07 12:21 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

howcome all the rich kids are always fat?

seriously, one of my friends weighed 375lbs with a height of about 5'5"

her rich mom paid for gastric band surgery, so she lost about 200 lbs... and found a boyfriend online, who now lives with her in the model house for a new neighborhood driving new cars and a fully furnished house, complete with every stick of furniture that's brand new, that her mom pays for.

tell her dad to fork out $12000 (which is pocket money for rich people) to get the surgery so she'll stop being a miserable cunt and find some chump online and have him move halfway across the continent, and be stuck with her b/c shitty webcams can't pick up the extra skin.


--------------------
We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.


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OfflineBrAiN
Art Fag
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Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 6,875
Loc: Chocolate City
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: StonedShroom]
    #7709797 - 12/03/07 07:13 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

for every jabba the hut there is a paris hilton

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InvisibleEllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: hecknotechno]
    #7709805 - 12/03/07 07:17 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Forget kicking her out. Call the police immediately. In today's age of superficiality and obsession with appearances, being fat is unacceptable. Only those god damn psychedelic-taking hippies would tell you otherwise.


--------------------
Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.

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InvisibleEgo Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea
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Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: hecknotechno]
    #7709854 - 12/03/07 08:01 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Either move out or fuck her to keep her happy :confused:

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Offlinedruqs
ALKALOIDOHOLIC
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Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 8,862
Last seen: 6 months, 4 days
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #7710131 - 12/03/07 10:06 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

just keep dumping laxatives in her water till you can stand to be in the same room as her.

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OfflineStizzle
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Registered: 04/26/07
Posts: 754
Loc: Tuvalu
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: druqs]
    #7710215 - 12/03/07 10:35 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Just hang this pic on the wall


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Offlinesam420
CertifiedReptilianOverlord
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Registered: 01/14/05
Posts: 3,144
Loc: Scotland
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: Stizzle]
    #7710235 - 12/03/07 10:42 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

MAN THE HARPOONS


--------------------
:duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead: :duckie: :chickenhead:

i'm a spy huntin rap dinosaur from the future

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Offlineallreadyused
The Liquor
Male


Registered: 09/10/07
Posts: 480
Loc: Trailer Park, Nova Scotia
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: hecknotechno]
    #7711197 - 12/03/07 02:18 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Just let her suck your dick every once and a while. Get drunk if you have to. If she wants to fuck just pull the Bill Clinton defense. Tell her if you fuck you would be cheating on your girlfriend and that oral sex is not cheating. If she threatens to tell your girlfriend that she blows you let her. When your girlfriend confronts you about it be like "Do you really think I would let her suck my dick." It's odd to hear that a fat chick can't give good head. Some of the best head I've ever gotten was from plumper's.


--------------------
Everything I say is for entertainment.

Fuck the ASPCA

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Invisibletak
geo's henchman
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Registered: 11/20/00
Posts: 3,776
Loc: nowhereland
Re: Dear Shroomery, im stuck. [Re: allreadyused]
    #7711226 - 12/03/07 02:28 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

i hate scorpios


--------------------
The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.

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