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RandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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I kind of had sex
#7705177 - 12/02/07 02:02 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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God damn. About fucking time.
There's this girl who works at the bar I work at. We had a few drinks together and we ended up hanging out in the backroom. We had sex for like 20 seconds or so. Just thought I should let you guys know. I know...I know...pretty lame, huh?
I'm the mack.
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wrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy



Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 13,676
Loc: day dreams of a mad man
Last seen: 15 hours, 31 minutes
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as long as you got yours
-------------------- how's your WOW?
Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM)
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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He got a whole 20 seconds of it!
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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Blend
afferent orchestra



Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 2,949
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 Way to go man! 20 seconds.... I'd say it's as good as yours now. Good luck with that.
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Blend
afferent orchestra



Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 2,949
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Re: I kind of had sex *DELETED* [Re: RandalFlagg]
#7705207 - 12/02/07 02:16 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Post deleted by deadendeavorReason for deletion: oops.
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jewunit
Brutal!

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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Re: I kind of had sex [Re: Blend]
#7705211 - 12/02/07 02:17 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I bet he nutted twice.
-------------------- !
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RandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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20 seconds of sex. Only yours truly would brag about such a thing. 
Given that I hadn't gotten ANY in over half a fucking year I felt a need to gloat....even if it was a brief, meaningless, and non-orgasmic encounter.
Working at a bar rules. I've made out with more girls there in two months than I had in the past two years.
I hope I didn't get that HIV thing that I've heard so much about.
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Acidic_Sloth
Acidic poly-Sided Di-slothamide


Registered: 05/29/02
Posts: 43,732
Loc: ainrofilac
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you're out of the contest then?
kind of sex is still sex.
-------------------- -- Accept my heart warming gift of TREE SCRATCHIES!!! I absolve thee!! --
JaP: 30,000 lines of gay, cock, and fag can't be wrong Ped: only in #shroomery is "smuggle opium in her ass" followed by "i don't want shitty opium" which is followed by " *** Joins: PENISSQUAD" -- JaP: What would this place be without random sluts? JaP: Nothing, I tell you.
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RandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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I was out of the contest when I downloaded a bunch of new internet porn and jacked off like a fiend after only about a day. 
The sad thing was I didn't even get off with this sex. It was one of those sessions where you get started and the girl is like, "we shouldn't be doing this blah blah...". So, I stopped.
I just can't fucking win. Well, at least she wasn't enormous.
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Cowgold
Bullshit


Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 12,486
Loc: .
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Idiot
I Am Moron!



Registered: 11/27/05
Posts: 6,554
Loc: 41.90231, 12.45390
Last seen: 7 days, 20 hours
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Re: I kind of had sex [Re: Cowgold]
#7705253 - 12/02/07 02:34 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Hopefully she didn't scream rape too loud.
-------------------- Customize your Shroomery experience! Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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RandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: I kind of had sex [Re: Idiot]
#7705265 - 12/02/07 02:37 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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What if she tells people and the boss finds out? Man, I hope I don't get fired or some shit. Oh well, it's not like I actually make any money there anyway.
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Are there any other cute girls that work there? Maybe they'll get wind of it and it'll have a ripple effect, making them all want to fuck you.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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RandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Are there any other cute girls there? Not really. But, you know what's funny? The girl who I lusted after for two years and who I wrote the dorky Myspace message to (and who is dating my boss) is an alternate bartender at this place. I would much rather have sex with her, but that ain't going to happen. I don't have enough game.
Ok, I have to whack off and go to bed. Later people.
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HagbardCeline
Student-Teacher-Student-Teacher



Registered: 05/10/03
Posts: 10,026
Loc: Overjoyed, at the bottom ...
Last seen: 18 days, 23 hours
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"We shouldn't be doing this."
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I HATE HEARING THAT SHIT!
The last time a chick told me that I jumped up, put on my clothes and walked out the door. All I said was "OK".
She called later to say she was sorry, but that she thought we probably shouldn't see each other any more. "You got it" then I hung up. She called for fucking days before I answered again.
After that, I fucked her at will.
-------------------- I keep it real because I think it is important that a highly esteemed individual such as myself keep it real lest they experience the dreaded spontaneous non-existance of no longer keeping it real. - Hagbard Celine
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Acidic_Sloth
Acidic poly-Sided Di-slothamide


Registered: 05/29/02
Posts: 43,732
Loc: ainrofilac
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ahhh, i guess i didn't read back that far.
that sucks though ... "we shouldn't be doing this" god that's uber gay.
-------------------- -- Accept my heart warming gift of TREE SCRATCHIES!!! I absolve thee!! --
JaP: 30,000 lines of gay, cock, and fag can't be wrong Ped: only in #shroomery is "smuggle opium in her ass" followed by "i don't want shitty opium" which is followed by " *** Joins: PENISSQUAD" -- JaP: What would this place be without random sluts? JaP: Nothing, I tell you.
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Ego Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea


Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
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Good game play.
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StreetFreak
smellin' like a plant


Registered: 02/10/07
Posts: 946
Loc: locked in a place where n...
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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Re: I kind of had sex [Re: Ego Death]
#7705577 - 12/02/07 05:21 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Twenty seconds.. just long enough to acquire herpes simplex II.
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UnholyChild666
I'M GOD

Registered: 03/26/06
Posts: 8,940
Loc:
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Quote:
RandalFlagg said: The sad thing was I didn't even get off with this sex.
So i'm guessing you went to the bathroom and finished yourself off? Or did you deal with the pain?
--------------------
"I am the Highest Power the leader of the pack" Actiavte My Dream Sequence Machine GOD of the hologram earth
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 1,083
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Quote:
RandalFlagg said: God damn. About fucking time.
There's this girl who works at the bar I work at. We had a few drinks together and we ended up hanging out in the backroom. We had sex for like 20 seconds or so. Just thought I should let you guys know. I know...I know...pretty lame, huh?
I'm the mack.
You must be what, 16?
-------------------- Life is one big road with lots of signs, So when you're ridin' through the ruts, Don't you complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy Don't bury your thoughts, Put your vision to reality, yeah!
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Merkin
neep.



Registered: 07/04/03
Posts: 27,537
Loc: Ass Flavoured Pie Factory
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you're such a n00b.
-------------------- Wheels of cheese wheeels of cheeeeese!!!
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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That sucks you got left hanging, but sweet that you got to stick it. 
I envision more slutty drunk girls begging for love in at your bar in the near future. You're a clean, good-looking dude so I don't know why you don't get laid more. Although it sometimes pays to be choosey.
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Oracle Of Delphi
I, Phantom



Registered: 06/23/02
Posts: 1,135
Loc: State of Disrepair
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
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your junk touched a girls vag, and you deem this sex?
is this a man thing?
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 1,083
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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once you go inside, most of the world considers that sex.
-------------------- Life is one big road with lots of signs, So when you're ridin' through the ruts, Don't you complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy Don't bury your thoughts, Put your vision to reality, yeah!
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Oracle Of Delphi
I, Phantom



Registered: 06/23/02
Posts: 1,135
Loc: State of Disrepair
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
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most of the male world, im thinking. it takes me longer to brush my teeth.
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 1,083
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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um, no. sex is when a penis goes into a vagina.
if it only lasts 20 seconds, then we [most of the world, male or female] call it bad sex!
=)
i will remember when someone attacks me next time, though, that my peace will kick their ass! (LOL, had to..)
-------------------- Life is one big road with lots of signs, So when you're ridin' through the ruts, Don't you complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy Don't bury your thoughts, Put your vision to reality, yeah!
Edited by VisionsToReality (12/02/07 07:47 AM)
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Oracle Of Delphi
I, Phantom



Registered: 06/23/02
Posts: 1,135
Loc: State of Disrepair
Last seen: 15 years, 2 months
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20 seconds = swing and a miss.
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Ego Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea


Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
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Is it bad if your penis touches your vagina?
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sam420
CertifiedReptilianOverlord



Registered: 01/14/05
Posts: 3,144
Loc: Scotland
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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not if you don't miss
--------------------
i'm a spy huntin rap dinosaur from the future
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RandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Quote:
Oracle Of Delphi said: it takes me longer to brush my teeth.
haha
I'm going to try to hook up with her again soon. Maybe I'll make it a minute next time.
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HagbardCeline
Student-Teacher-Student-Teacher



Registered: 05/10/03
Posts: 10,026
Loc: Overjoyed, at the bottom ...
Last seen: 18 days, 23 hours
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Quote:
Oracle Of Delphi said: most of the male world, im thinking. it takes me longer to brush my teeth.
As well it should. 2 minutes is the recommended brushing time.
-------------------- I keep it real because I think it is important that a highly esteemed individual such as myself keep it real lest they experience the dreaded spontaneous non-existance of no longer keeping it real. - Hagbard Celine
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bukkake


Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 2,764
Loc: Classified
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How do you have sex with someone for 20 seconds? That amount of time takes my girlfriend and I to put on my condom and her to mount my penis. How did that go for you exactly, sir?
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RandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: I kind of had sex [Re: bukkake]
#7706190 - 12/02/07 11:25 AM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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You know, I'm kind of asking myself that question. We started making out and I put her up against the wall and undid her pants. Then I picked her up and propped her up against said wall (Thank God she was only like a hundred pounds....phew!) and had at it for less than half a minute before she pulled the "We shouldn't be doing this" thing.
It probably is the shortest sexual experience in the history of the world. But, I'll take what I can get. And hopefully I'll get some more and for a longer duration.
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The_Red_Crayon
Exposer of Truth


Registered: 08/13/03
Posts: 13,673
Loc: Smokey Mtns. TN
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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you'll be rubbing one out to this thought for the next 2 months probably.
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Cepheus
Balance




Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 8,266
Loc: the space between reality...
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Quote:
The_Red_Crayon said: you'll be rubbing one out to this thought for the next 2 months probably.
hahaha so true
-------------------- "I only ever hope to reach equilibrium, in Nature's matrix, in line with the meridian" ~ Jehst
"...and I know that I have to keep breathing, as tomorrow the sun will rise, who knows what the tide will bring?" Free Spore Ring Europe Send any spare spore prints you might have and help the distribution
Open Source. Freedom. GNU/Linux Addicting is not a word.
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circularvortex
Bass Head




Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
Loc:
Last seen: 4 months, 30 days
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Quote:
HagbardCeline said: "We shouldn't be doing this."
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I HATE HEARING THAT SHIT!
The last time a chick told me that I jumped up, put on my clothes and walked out the door. All I said was "OK".
She called later to say she was sorry, but that she thought we probably shouldn't see each other any more. "You got it" then I hung up. She called for fucking days before I answered again.
After that, I fucked her at will.
Play it like this guy, man. Perfect game plan for that kinda situation.
-------------------- No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction. For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool By making his world a little colder. Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.
 
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RandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Quote:
The_Red_Crayon said: you'll be rubbing one out to this thought for the next 2 months probably.
Pfft...or at least until my next sexual encounter which is probably a good 6 months away.
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RandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Yeah, I have to hide the fact that I REALLY need to get laid. I can't come across as desperate even though I flat out admit that I am.
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bukkake


Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 2,764
Loc: Classified
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I do not comprehend the difficulty you have with women. Women are fairly simple and even easy to manipulate.
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RandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: I kind of had sex [Re: bukkake]
#7706519 - 12/02/07 12:54 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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1. I have very little game. 2. I often pull back from getting close to women because I have seen women do such fucked up stuff to me and other people in my life. 3. I don't think I'm very physically attractive so I often get the feeling of, "Why even bother? She's just going to shoot me down anyway".
Pretty simple actually.
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Ego Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea


Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
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My difficulty is crippling anxiety.
My shortest sex was about a minute but when you havn't had it for years and then it finally comes - you can get ready to cream in seconds within it being up there and pumping.
What do ya do pull it straight back out and think of ya grandma or just bust a nut and start again?
Its alright if you've had a chance to get wasted first though then it can be nearly impossible to cum and girls think your a king!
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bukkake


Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 2,764
Loc: Classified
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Game is for black men.
The key to 2 is not getting emotionally attached yourself unless the woman is worth it. Most are not. Having sex with women is easy, finding one worth having a relationship with is not. The latter is difficult. Seeking it out will in most cases produce a counterbalance.
No one believes they're physically attractive.
You'll find your Ayn Rand not when you're looking for it, but when you least expect it.
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RandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: I kind of had sex [Re: Ego Death]
#7706567 - 12/02/07 01:05 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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I've always been able to last indefinately if I wanted to. It's a special skill that I have.
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RandalFlagg
Stranger

Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: I kind of had sex [Re: bukkake]
#7706572 - 12/02/07 01:07 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Atlas will shrug on me one day.....
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Caribou_Lou
Stranger


Registered: 10/17/07
Posts: 2,510
Loc: Never Land
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
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then you should have just put your hand over her mouth
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fee
Im he who is the


Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 18,238
Loc: amsterdam
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Re: I kind of had sex [Re: Ego Death]
#7706592 - 12/02/07 01:10 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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the whole "I dont think we should be doing this" statement is a turn on thing for most woman. They say this but in reality what they want is you to take control and pound. My gf allways say shit like stop I cant cum again its too much and then I just fuckin pound the fuck out of her and it turns her on so bad that I didnt listen and I took control. Of course she is a freak and loves to be choked and slapped during intercourse yup shes a sexy ass freak
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UnholyChild666
I'M GOD

Registered: 03/26/06
Posts: 8,940
Loc:
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Quote:
Oracle Of Delphi said: your junk touched a girls vag, and you deem this sex?
is this a man thing?
I'm a guy and while it may be sex by definition, I wouldn't really call it so much sex more like the beginning process of sex to be, followed by pain of not finishing followed by the solitary vice
--------------------
"I am the Highest Power the leader of the pack" Actiavte My Dream Sequence Machine GOD of the hologram earth
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Xeluc
Traveler



Registered: 04/11/07
Posts: 746
Last seen: 6 years, 16 days
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I say sex is getting in a pump.
Not MY kind of sex, but sex by definition.
I couldn't personally call it sex if there was no enjoyment. And I can't see it possible to enjoy 20 seconds of sex very much if you didn't nut.
The question is: Would this be worse, or would it be worse if you had nutted after the 20 seconds.
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nolongerinuse


Registered: 05/14/06
Posts: 947
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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I had sex this weekend too, but mine was with these two chicks i know from this modeling agency in Germany.
they flew in for the weekend, and we did lines of coke of each other. The best part is getting coked up and getting some road head in my Ferrari.
I kinda tired of the german chicks tho, i mean, they are always completely hairless from the nose down. Sometimes i like a little fur ya know?- eh, i talked to them about it. They, of course, apologised and promised to give me an airstrip for next time.
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jewunit
Brutal!

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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You try too hard.
-------------------- !
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nolongerinuse


Registered: 05/14/06
Posts: 947
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: I kind of had sex [Re: jewunit]
#7708311 - 12/02/07 08:25 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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They actually refuse to leave my mansion..... They keep having pillow fights in their cotton underwears, and actually are undressing me as i type this to you.
They are now fighting over my penis with their tounges..... looks like its going to be a looong night- one just broke out some acid....so much for work tomorrow.
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TruuBeeezzy
Cow PastureSpecialist



Registered: 06/20/07
Posts: 390
Loc: in the woods
Last seen: 16 years, 4 days
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I'll never forget the look on my g/f face the first time i smacked her ass during sex. Needless to say she loved it . From my experience girls love it when i put my hand around their neck and fuck the shit outa them, said it made them feel secure.
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Xeluc
Traveler



Registered: 04/11/07
Posts: 746
Last seen: 6 years, 16 days
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I always thought girls liked being "choked" because it showed domination.
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TruuBeeezzy
Cow PastureSpecialist



Registered: 06/20/07
Posts: 390
Loc: in the woods
Last seen: 16 years, 4 days
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Re: I kind of had sex [Re: Xeluc]
#7708354 - 12/02/07 08:35 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Naw i never choke them, just firmly put my hand around their neck. Ill give it to them rough but choking a girl during sex is a big turn off for me
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Xeluc
Traveler



Registered: 04/11/07
Posts: 746
Last seen: 6 years, 16 days
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that's what i mean. I used ""'s
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