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OfflineMan in the Box
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Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 353
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: suicide [Re: lostinautumn7]
    #7745840 - 12/11/07 04:48 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

I can't find the answer for you, you literally need to find it yourself, no joke.

Just remember how beautiful life can be for other people, and strive towards it and you will find yourself eventually.




I agree completely, there is a fantastic sun behind those grey clouds, just like your depression is clouding the beauty in your life, if you cannot realize this you are not truly aware right now, you are in auto pilot, your current state is manifesting negativity in everything you percieve. I strongly suggest reading Sacred World by Jeremy Hayward, I have seen it mentioned before on here so I picked it up from the library and I am reading it right now (2nd version), and for me it has helped loads. It does not automatically make you happy, but it wakes you up, shows you the truth, which can really open the doors to goodness in your life. It will give you courage to move on and forgive yourself for whatever it youve done or haven't, a great guide with a good attitude for your life, trust me.


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Offlinekotik
fuckingsuperhero
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Registered: 06/29/04
Posts: 3,531
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Re: suicide [Re: Chemy]
    #7746563 - 12/11/07 07:10 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Chemy said:
Stay sober, you do not anything to cloud your judgment.




Ironically, I was extremely depressed, angry, confused, seeing psychologists and considering suicide up until I started "clouding my judgment." That's what made me realize there was so much more to everything.

Question to OP: are you taking anti-depressants? sorry if I missed it if you already said it. didn't notice.


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.


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OfflineSapphireCat
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Registered: 11/29/05
Posts: 613
Loc: Ireland
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
Re: suicide [Re: kotik]
    #7746912 - 12/11/07 08:29 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Ironically, I was extremely depressed, angry, confused, seeing psychologists and considering suicide up until I started "clouding my judgment." That's what made me realize there was so much more to everything.




heh same, shrooms gave me a new vision.

@OP: you say your happiness(not exactly sure of wording used) depends largely on others.

my advice would be, to relax, and watch the movie baraka. possibly contemplate why you depend so much on others. by the sonds of it your close friends are gone and you just don't feel like you are needed by anyone right now. change this, maybe help out at a soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, somewhere that people will be grateful for what you are doing.

personally i look around and see people down or just looking pretty emotionless and i try help them out. sometimes even just giving someone a smile on the street is enough to perk someone up. and it feels good to help people, even if it's just by tiny gestures, it will make you feel better having made some sort of a difference in the world. not being isolated from everyone anymore.

people have the urge to connect, but fear they're going to be shut down. go out and connect without fear, try taking a new approach to old things, and see if you can maybe find a way of looking at the world that is more in sync with the mind.


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Beauty of style and harmony and grace and good rhythm depend on Simplicity ~Plato


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OfflineChemy
Jesus is Lord

Registered: 10/05/07
Posts: 6,276
Loc: A Church
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
Re: suicide *DELETED* *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7746952 - 12/11/07 08:39 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Post deleted by Chemy

Reason for deletion: If you are sure you want to do this, click the button below. Yes, I want to delete this post.



--------------------
Alcoholics Anonymous

Narcotics Anonymous

Get help, help is free and available 24/7/365.

God bless you all and I hope you receive the help you need to turn away from your lives of sin.

Mushrooms and drugs make you gay, you can reverse this homosexual condition with rehab, get help! Stop being gay!


Edited by Chemy (12/11/07 08:42 PM)


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OfflineSapphireCat
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Registered: 11/29/05
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Loc: Ireland
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Re: suicide [Re: Chemy]
    #7747083 - 12/11/07 09:05 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

@chemy: happy birthday first of all, and i think you are getting things confused, your second quote is a quote from kotic, who even addressed the original poster in his post, so i don't think they're the same guy?

unless it is kotic and he's screwing with out minds :O :wink:


--------------------
Beauty of style and harmony and grace and good rhythm depend on Simplicity ~Plato


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Offlinehousecat
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo
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Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 554
Loc: British Columbia
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
Re: suicide [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10673505 - 07/14/09 03:45 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Force yourself out of the house and off the computer. Go get some Japanese food. Give yourself an opportunity to be happy.


--------------------

My beautiful hookah

"in the 60's people took acid to make the world seem weird. Now the world is weird, and people take prozac to make it seem normal."


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Offlineunlegendary
Depressive
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Registered: 07/17/09
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Re: suicide [Re: housecat]
    #10697001 - 07/17/09 10:05 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Some people seem to think suicide is nothing but a selfish act, but quite the contrary, suicide can be an act of ending a life time of misery.
I'm 50 yrs old or will be in 5 days and I have had suicidal thoughts since i was a young child.
My parents weren't bad people, didn't beat me nor neglect me, but I was the youngest of 6 kids, 4 now and I was a short, fat kid. Back then I despised being who i was and the strange thing, nothing has really changed in all that time.
I've lived a life of utter failures, one after another beginning at a very young age and continuing to this day. Even suicide attempts of mine have been failures and those that weren't failures someone else dragged me back into this world against my will. That's happened 3 times, all 3 on an ER table with the paddles and the whole works.
You can say, well, why not not shoot yourself? I would except I don't keep guns when I'm not suicidal and when I am suicidal guns don't seem to be available. I don't have the will to jump from tall buildings and crashing a car? Done that.
I'm a former heroin addict so I've tried massive overdoses. The amount I shot would likely kill anyone else. I just took a short nap and ended up awake for 4 days afterward in withdraw.
I still don't want to live. it has nothing to do with taking anything from anyone. I'm not a thief. The selfish claim aspect is just a way to attempt to shame someone who is suicidal into staying alive for others, but the sad fact is everyone reading this post is going to die.
Should I continue living a life I have hated forever? Should I live much longer than anyone else because it's selfish to do otherwise? Perhaps I should only die when it's convenient for everyone else? If that's the case I don't think anyone of my friends or family is going to notify me "OK, time to go ahead and die..I'm ready to not be sad."
Everyone who is suicidal and who ever will be suicidal is well aware others will morn for us. That simply can't be helped because we all die at some point. I could die of a sudden heart attack and the effect would be basically the same. I would be dead and my surviving family members would morn.
My family is well aware that I have been suicidal all my life. There is no surprise there. I've been hospitalized repeatedly for multiple suicide attempts and I often wonder just why the hell am i still kicking.
Please don't tell me there is a master plan for me because if there is that plan sucks shit! What's the plan? That I live in poverty? That I end up a hopeless drug addicted depressed failure at everything I attempt? God has a plan? Same thing.. his plan is shit too and "he" never shows up for anything. I've both begged for god and cussed the shit head and I'm still here. Shit, I can't even make a deal with Satan to get out of debt and he's supposed to be the one handing out riches for the evil ones. He hasn't even send me a bad check.. Fuck god and the devil horse shit too.
Sure, I have skills and I'm an accomplished musician, artist, skilled painter, auto body tech, great cook and even went to college to be a chef. I have a fair knowledge of the English language and can spell most words without much trouble, but I ultimately fail at everything and for almost all my life i have wondered why.
Even my family is at a loss to explain it.
I'm a father of two grown kids i love very much and they too are fully aware of my many suicide attempts, but they too are helpless to change the outcomes of my many failures and now, at 50 my legs are giving out on me, my teeth have fallen out, I'm going bald, I live in a shed, literally, I have no money and no place else to go and yes, I wish to die. If I could die now I would do it sure as I'm typing this post.

Maybe you think my suicide attempts are for sympathy or a cry for help.
That almost sounds reasonable, but that doesn't take into account that very few of my many suicide attempts have ever been known about by anyone. Most are just me, not wanting to live, living in my own quiet world wishing to die, but i always..ALWAYS GODDAMMIT wake up the next day. it's as if my life is Ground Fucking Hog Day!

No, suicide isn't selfish at all. What's selfish is dragging someone back into a miserable life when they have no desire to be here. That's selfish. I know, I've been there, been locked into mental "health" facilities and been abused by those god damned fucking butchers and quacks then tossed back on the street with half a bottle of happy horse shit pills that do nothing but make pharmaceutical companies rich.


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"Eat a big plate of jambalaya, head off to the can, and meditate on this, "defecating is more productive than praying."
[Todd Adamson]


Edited by unlegendary (07/17/09 10:10 PM)


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OfflineViveka
refutation bias
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Registered: 10/21/02
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Re: suicide [Re: unlegendary]
    #10697519 - 07/18/09 12:12 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Sure, I have skills and I'm an accomplished musician, artist, skilled painter, auto body tech, great cook and even went to college to be a chef.




Wait, so...which is it?  Either you're a failure at everything or you actually did accomplish some worthwhile things??


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
Loc: On the Border
Re: suicide [Re: unlegendary]
    #10698713 - 07/18/09 09:52 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Sorry, your post sounds less than genuine....like a story. Come on...shock paddles 3 times? Right. Killing ones self is not brain surgery or rocket science to be sure.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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Offlineunlegendary
Depressive
Male
Registered: 07/17/09
Posts: 5
Last seen: 14 years, 6 months
Re: suicide [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #10699637 - 07/18/09 02:02 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

OK, not a failure at everything, but a failure at enough that I'm sick of failure. I have my up days and down days. Then so don't we all? A good nights sleep and change in circumstances can change everything. Not always, but often enough I survive somehow.
As far as the 3 times on the table, yes, it has happened. I don't much give a fuck if you buy it or not. There is little if anything I can do to convince you so i won't try other than what actually happened.
First time i swallowed arsenic. I creates cardiac arrest, VERY painful. Second time I swallowed a bottle of sinaquan and was found as i was going out and the third..I was kicked in the face repeatedly with a steel toe boot. I've got the steel plates holding my head together and nearly died
Then again with some people, perhaps yourself the only thing that will convince you is my actual death certificate. Sorry, it hasn't been written yet. Don't worry though. I won't be back to tell you or anyone else when that happens and my surviving relatives will not be here to announce it either..
The fact is my circumstances have improved enough that I am able to go day to day, but those who don't understand despair seem to think just dust yourself off and everything is all hunky dorey. Well that's a nice line of happy horse shit.


--------------------
"Eat a big plate of jambalaya, head off to the can, and meditate on this, "defecating is more productive than praying."
[Todd Adamson]


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,685
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Re: suicide [Re: unlegendary]
    #10700353 - 07/18/09 04:39 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Your mood and attitude is merely a decision. Buying into the fact that it can't be helped is creating helplessness. A positive outlook is learned behavior.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda


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Offlinesunflower
We're here....
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Registered: 08/19/06
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Re: suicide [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #10700822 - 07/18/09 06:39 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Take responsibility, DO something to improve your life.  What are you waiting on, someone else to save you, make you want to live?  Be responsible for your own happiness.  I love you Hue :sun:


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OfflinexFrockx
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Registered: 09/17/06
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Re: suicide [Re: lostinautumn7]
    #10701052 - 07/18/09 07:40 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Just remember, if you think you want to kill yourself consider the possibility that you might just wake up born again as the same person, to lead the same life, and kill themselves, eternally.  Do you want to be the asshole who took this joke too seriously?


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InvisibleGI_Luvmoney
Vote Republican!
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Registered: 05/10/09
Posts: 939
Re: suicide [Re: xFrockx]
    #10702946 - 07/19/09 08:47 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Try piracetam.  You can buy it on Ebay.  A pinch in a cup of coffee once a day is the best thing I've ever used for depression.  If you start getting too talkative and/or get insomnia, stop taking it for a couple days.


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OfflineWorldly Man
Psychoanalyst
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Registered: 09/02/09
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Last seen: 13 years, 8 months
Re: suicide [Re: Viveka]
    #12634374 - 05/26/10 08:36 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Viveka said:
Quote:

If you are suicidal you are at the very low.




Bullshit.  That's a victim attitude.  If you were really at "the very low" you wouldn't have the extra time and luxury to be thinking about various ways you might off yourself.  You would be engaged in a struggle that could kill you before you had the chance.

Suicide ideation is a flailing act of an over-inflated ego of a person who is probably feeling unloved. Examine why it is you feel unloved.  What attitudes about yourself, others and the world perpetuate this? Honestly, if someone wants to throw the immeasurably precious gift of life away then I have not one trace of sorrow for them.  If you really think your life is that bad, start recounting all the things you have to be grateful for.  You can start with your health.  Can you walk on your own two feet?  If the answer is yes, I laugh at your self-pity.




Look at the god-damn situation objectively.  To you, that makes perfect sense.  To him?  He's in a state of misery, for no particular reason.  You can count all the things that you have to be grateful for, but it doesn't mean shit if you still feel awful, and now on top of that feel even more awful for being 'ungrateful' for what you have.  I don't agree with suicide, but whatever the circumstance, the fact of the matter is, this guy is suffering.  Doesn't matter why.  What if he's got a chemical imbalance of seratonin in his brain?

Anyways..  My best advice is to live one day at a time.  You say you need other people's validation to make yourself feel good and that you can't feel validated by yourself.  Take up a hobby or something to feel like you have something to offer?  Also, try having a positive mindset.  All it takes to be happy is to choose to be happy.  The path is yours.


--------------------
Become unaware.


Edited by Worldly Man (05/26/10 08:49 PM)


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Offlinenazakoo
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Registered: 08/13/11
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Re: suicide [Re: Worldly Man]
    #14919145 - 08/14/11 04:05 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I suffer from depression on a day to day basis. Some days are worse than others, and some yet still feel as if it's so far in the back of my mind.. it doesn't exit.

The fact is.. it DOES exist.. and it is always eating away at me. No matter what I do no matter how happy the situation is, the depression is like acid slowly eating away at everything until all that is left is this state of hopelessness.

Picture the worst you have ever felt in your life.. now magnify that by 10. That is what depression feels like... and magnify that again by being ashamed that you feel so depressed. Soon everything about yourself is yet again magnifying this depression until its so heavy.. the only way out is through suicide.

The only thing that has kept me alive to this day is video games... It acts like heroin for a heroin addict. For me I am momentarily distracted, I am able to live without thinking about why I am so worthless and how much of a burden I am to all involved in my life. And often that pause is exactly what I need to get this manic phase to pass... allow the depression to subside and just become lost in just not thinking.

The whole idea of guilting someone into not committing suicide I find laughable. What is the one thing you never want to do to someone who is already in a state of depression? Make them more depressed and feel more useless. To most that doesn't seem to make much sense... but to someone who suffers this day in and bloody day out, with hardly a moments worth of breathing time! It is more insulting to me hearing that kind of advice when everything is already making me feel bad about sharing the same living space as another human being.


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OfflineSurReality
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Re: suicide [Re: nazakoo]
    #14919201 - 08/14/11 04:36 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

nazakoo said:

The only thing that has kept me alive to this day is video games... It acts like heroin for a heroin addict. For me I am momentarily distracted, I am able to live without thinking about why I am so worthless and how much of a burden I am to all involved in my life. And often that pause is exactly what I need to get this manic phase to pass... allow the depression to subside and just become lost in just not thinking.




purhaps you might try to stop the video games for just one day, just like a heroin addict ought to stop the heroin, and spend a whole day thinking about why you are so worthless and how much of a burden you are to all involved in yourself AND WHAT YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE THIS OTHER THAN GIVING UP ON LIFE

that said


frankly when i woke up this morning i felt like my whole life was meaningless and i just all around was not happy with where i am in my life today, i was a bit shaken by a creepy dream i'd rather not go there tho... then i decided to step outside and once the sunshine touched my face i realized there is no special point in life, its just to live and to find satisfaction with who i am who i've become and who i am going to be, then to change that which i am not proud of myself for:sun:


--------------------
ProDOPEFiend Diary: (my public diary)

PodCast


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Invisiblebeachedjesus
A bodypart of God
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Registered: 11/16/10
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Loc: there
Re: suicide [Re: SurReality]
    #14919301 - 08/14/11 05:30 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

yeah he's definitely gonna appreciate replies to his suicide thread almost 4 years later... dude's probably already gone and offed himself. (joking) (and i have been suicidal many times before so don't be like 'you don't know what it's like, that's not funny'. How do you know a rape victim wouldn't joke about rape?)

Anyways, all you need is very healthy organic food like vegetables, fruit etc, take a multi-vitamin every day too. Get a fuckbuddy or girlfriend or something. Exercise, sunlight and to socialize with others and find joy in the little things help a lot... you could probably name more but I recommend improving the above habits to be happier.

-Saneasylum


--------------------
hi


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OfflineSurReality
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Re: suicide [Re: beachedjesus]
    #14919358 - 08/14/11 05:57 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

ummm actually i was directing my post at nazakoo, and yea that was a hilarious joke... and i have no idea how thinking suicidal thoughts is comparable to being a rape victim, but maybe thats just another hilarious joke that i don't get...

but yea in all seriousness diet, exercise, and sociability surely does have something to do with self satisfaction.


--------------------
ProDOPEFiend Diary: (my public diary)

PodCast


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OfflineBrohaamm
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Registered: 08/15/11
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Last seen: 11 years, 19 days
Re: suicide [Re: lostinautumn7]
    #14923709 - 08/15/11 12:20 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

lostinautumn7 said:
Quote:

Icelander said:
Quote:

SurReality said:
Quote:

Icelander said:
Yet, it still applies. If someone really wants to off themselves who are we to stand in their way? Next you will be wanting to control how we decide to live.:lol:




haha so i wonder how you feel about the fact that in America you do not have the right to kill youself (Suicide really is a crime)

i wonder what it costs to keep a dead man in prison?




You don't need permission to off yourself no matter what the law.

I live in a state with the only assisted suicide law on the books.:thumbup:




i totally agree with you man, you should have the right to do whatever the fuck you want whenever the fuck you want, but you cant, and you never will. maybe its just me, but doesn't this debate seem a little inappropriate for this thread man? i am sure you aren't trying to be in here coming across as a totally insensitive prick, but you are. please bring the personal rights debate elsewhere some of us are actually trying to have a meaningful thread here. please don't make this political. people already kind of know that they can commit suicide and no one can stop them(if that is what they actually really want), thats why we are here in the first place. i know there are tons of skeptics but what if, sometime in the future someone happens across this thread that this would really really help out man maybe it wont even be the reader that it helps , but the reader goes out and is inspired to help someone else in this situation. there is always a chance. trust me man, there isn't a single person in the world that needs to be told that suicide is an "option".

maybe I'm just being defensive because this topic really hits home for me, but i just think this is a really fucked up thread to bring politics into.




Honestly, I think what you said here is pretty crazy.  I have been a lurker here for a little while on some threads but what you said here just made me want to make an account.  It's disgusting.

When it comes to suicide, the methods of going about it are nuts.  The states that be deny people the right to a peaceful suicide.  Why the hell do you think Dr. Kevorkian went to jail? 

Suicide is basically a crime when you fail to follow through it.  When one can't afford to buy a gun or get some precious pills from god knows where on the black market, then it becomes a vicious cycle of misery and pain. 

That's why it is also a political subject and a moral one too.


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