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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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Helping people out
#7683506 - 11/26/07 08:53 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Today on the bus I ran into this guy I haven't seen in a couple years. When I last saw him he had recently immigrated from China and a couple of my friends somehow met him, took him into thier home rent-free, fed him and helped him deal with the shitty bureaucracy necessary to get him status and find work. My friends were pretty poor at the time, and it was definitly a strain on them, but they felt good about it and realized that despite thier hardship, he was in a much more difficult position. He couldn't speak a word of english, and they began teaching him, a little bit anyways. Since then he's just been getting things together - learning more english, working, etc.
Today he told me that he's doing well, he's welding for $20 an hour and by next year will have saved enough money to bring his 4 year old son over here from China. He also told me that if it wasn't for the kindness of my friends (and myself, sort of on the periphery) he wouldn't be in the position he is in today.
I can't express how amazing it was to talk to him, and to be faced with the reality of having actually played some small role in influencing someones life in such an enormous way. I'm filled with joy!
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JoseLibrado
return


Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 569
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Re: Helping people out [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7683669 - 11/26/07 09:50 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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-------------------- The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution. And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change. Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems. Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Helping people out [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7683710 - 11/26/07 10:03 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I tried to help people out by 'splaining things on the Mysticism forum, but no one truly appreciates the 'great ones' until they have passed on.
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger



Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
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I have a feeling that sense of appreciation regarding their passing has less to do with their greatness and more to do with the fact that they finally passed on.
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If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Ouch!
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Helping people out [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7685252 - 11/27/07 09:49 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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All good.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: Helping people out [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7685311 - 11/27/07 10:08 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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i do tend towards helping people when possible as i have a bit of a weak spot and am definitely a nurturing person, but most of the time if people need help, it's because of something they've done to themselves.
in this case, this person moved to america with no money, not knowing the language, and no friends/family for mental support. he would not have needed [as much, if any] help had he taken the time to save and learn before coming here.
many times people become so far removed from the initial event(s)/action(s) that brought them to the point of wanting or needing help that they see themselves as a victim as opposed to blazing this path
granted, sometimes natural 'disasters' disrupt peoples' lives and they physically can't do some things on their own, or maybe they were injured because of someone else's carelessness
i'm kind of divided, mentally, between where to draw the line of personal responsibility and dependence on others
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
Edited by demius (11/27/07 10:13 AM)
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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Re: Helping people out [Re: demiu5]
#7685367 - 11/27/07 10:24 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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That's a bit of a massive leap of assumption on your part, regarding the circumstances this guy was in. Sometimes people are not in a position to wait until these things come together, and the reason they are immigrating is that circumstances in thier home country are shit. He moved here because he wanted the opportunity to earn enough money to get his family out of a dire circumstance, and eventually bring his child over here to have access to more possibilities. Who are you to deny him that, on grounds that he didn't have enough in the first place? I don't know the numbers, but I doubt the wages of a working class Chinese person convert to much of anything over here. I don't imagine any amount of hard work would allow him to be comfortable and independent upon arrival.
As far as where you should 'draw the line' on personal responsibility - in this situation the guy truly wanted to get himself together and the help of my friends gave him what he needed, in a very difficult moment, to begin helping himself. Like I said, he's working full time and making good money, and he's gone through all the legal channels to get permanent resident status so he's allowed to be here. He's done a lot for himself and it's paying off. He recognizes and values the help he recieved and kept saying things like "I want to repay you" "I wouldn't be in this position today without your kindness..." Where to draw the line? This is an excellent example of where to extend the line.
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SapphireCat
Seeker



Registered: 11/29/05
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Loc: Ireland
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Re: Helping people out [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7685515 - 11/27/07 11:09 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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not only did you help him in a small way, but also his son, by giving him a possibility at a life that he probably wouldn't have been able to lead in china.
fair play to you and your friends.
-------------------- Beauty of style and harmony and grace and good rhythm depend on Simplicity ~Plato
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shakercee
Atheistic Mystic



Registered: 04/08/07
Posts: 606
Loc: Here and there
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Re: Helping people out [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7685541 - 11/27/07 11:18 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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To help out a complete stranger in times of great need, requires a special kind of person. Let there be more of you and your friends, NiamhNyx.  
-------------------- Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy - Ambrose Bierce Medical science has confirmed what the male world has known intuitively for millenia: that scratching your ass is a great aid to complex thinking. Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations such as Jaish, Lashkar etc. Its our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god." - Indian Armed Forces "Hey Monkey!! Get Funky" - Tarzan and Jane
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Helping people out [Re: shakercee]
#7685575 - 11/27/07 11:29 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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We help others because it pleases us. It pleases us because for a little while we don't buy the fear based idea that there is a limited pie. Helping others is expansive and shows understanding of how the life actually works.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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shakercee
Atheistic Mystic



Registered: 04/08/07
Posts: 606
Loc: Here and there
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Re: Helping people out [Re: Icelander]
#7685636 - 11/27/07 11:48 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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yeah, you have hit bulls eye.
But only if the person approaches me with a genuine need for help with money or advice, etc, but if it becomes routine, then not him again!!!
-------------------- Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy - Ambrose Bierce Medical science has confirmed what the male world has known intuitively for millenia: that scratching your ass is a great aid to complex thinking. Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations such as Jaish, Lashkar etc. Its our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god." - Indian Armed Forces "Hey Monkey!! Get Funky" - Tarzan and Jane
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