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Compass
Ancient Light

Registered: 10/17/06
Posts: 1,149
Loc: The Border of Reality
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* [Re: mlo517]
#7686242 - 11/27/07 02:26 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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You can get through it, just lay off the psychedelics and work on yourself for awhile until you can get off the meds.
The night after a salvia experience, I reentered the head space for 6 hours due to a series of triggers. I saw the past, present and future changing before my eyes. Things were disappering and names/events were changing from the timeline I thought I knew. I knew everyone was me, and I felt so alone because I could see through the choreography of other humans as part of myself, as much as I was part of the greater creator. To be part of everything, I wondered what was outside myself, I wanted something great and benevolent to save me from my imperfect creation, yet was somewhat perfect. A million paradoxes of the world we know everyday fell through infinity. I felt such intense anxiety I was shaking violently all through the hours, which was of course a much more direct connection to the everlasting moment, not what we are used to. I didn't know how I would survive because it was too much to take. I was crazy. I couldn't eat at all and later I would throw up from the anxiety.
However an elderly stranger appeared to me and I knew he was myself, I knew he was God. He emanated calmness. He was my hope because he had lived a lifetime, just like I would live a lifetime, just like I had lived a lifetime in a moment. In his hands, in his eyes, in his understanding, in his aura, just a different age with different memories and a more powerful control of reality, especially in my state. I was being shown so much, too much. I couldn't believe it was possible, but it was. Life was possible. Everything we create is perfect in its imperfection. Everything had a reason. Difficultly leading to learning, understanding, and acceptance.
As humans we cannot keep that connection to the infinite open forever. I awoke halfway between the infinite and normality, but closer to normality and closer to the infinite.
-------------------- nystagmus dopamine guru inverted pop culture love scars of sorrow fleshy synesthesia hippie farts perpetual tinnitus Reclaim the Swastika!
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Cowgold
Bullshit


Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 12,486
Loc: .
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* [Re: mlo517]
#7686248 - 11/27/07 02:29 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Just like you read and then believed you had each of the disorders, you have the same ability to believe nothing is wrong. Then go about your life like nothing is wrong and all the little wrinkles and imperfections iron out or no longer matter cause they can't keep up.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman



Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope [Re: mlo517]
#7686327 - 11/27/07 02:54 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
mlo517 said: well the racing thoughts drive me nuts and make me feel disconnected from reality
what is reality what is connection you are part of a never ending flow of life and death that from a distence resembles and a never ending lotus flower  so sile no need to freak out, panic, or wonder if you are crazy. cus we all have our own shit to work out. or own subjective trips. lifes never gonna be easy. nothings ever gonna just come right to you. you have to sine your light on it
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UnholyChild666
I'M GOD


Registered: 03/26/06
Posts: 8,940
Loc:
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Quote:
VisionsToReality said: Wtf...you take shrooms, get on a different train of thought, and need to take pills because this new train of thought is so tough to handle?
COME ON, no offense, but this is ridiculous. Toughen up. Best of luck.
Don't listen to this dumbass, for a lot people there is no toughing it up, a lot of people will never be able to handle it, it's just the way it is, you can really damage yourself.
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"I am the Highest Power the leader of the pack" Actiavte My Dream Sequence Machine GOD of the hologram earth
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman



Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* [Re: mlo517]
#7686347 - 11/27/07 02:57 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
mlo517 said: yeah my problem is that I dont trust my own imagination anymore because i went through two months of diagnosing myself with 10 different mental disorders and applying every single symptom to my daily life/everything that happened around me/my entire past. This all came after a flashback I had, which then triggered some anxiety and made me believe that I was going crazy when really it was nothing at all. So I guess ive gone through two months of conditioning my mind to think that its crazy, so much that it doesnt even trust its own imaginative perceptions anymore because it thinks that its all sourced from craziness/some non-normal perspective. IDK how im gunna get out of this, but im hoping that in time I will recondition myself back to normal. I've come to the conclusion that none of this came from the mushrooms themselves, but only from the the flashback making me think that im crazy, and then me trying to figure out how im actually crazy. This then triggered many racing thoughts that spiraled out of control. I hope I can get out of this, I really loved my life, and I pray to god every day
disorder i only what you make of it. i too have gone down that river. and never. i repeat never distrust your imagination. its is all you will ever be.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman



Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope [Re: UnholyChild666]
#7686352 - 11/27/07 02:58 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
UnholyChild666 said:
Quote:
VisionsToReality said: Wtf...you take shrooms, get on a different train of thought, and need to take pills because this new train of thought is so tough to handle?
COME ON, no offense, but this is ridiculous. Toughen up. Best of luck.
Don't listen to this dumbass, for a lot people there is no toughing it up, a lot of people will never be able to handle it, it's just the way it is, you can really damage yourself.
dont listen to this dumb ass he shoots smack
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mlo517
Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 24
Loc: Conway, Arkansas
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* *DELETED* [Re: notapillow]
#7686388 - 11/27/07 03:09 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by mlo517Reason for deletion: idk
Edited by mlo517 (11/27/07 03:10 PM)
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Cowgold
Bullshit


Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 12,486
Loc: .
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* [Re: mlo517]
#7686394 - 11/27/07 03:11 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Remember that it's all in your head.
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mlo517
Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 24
Loc: Conway, Arkansas
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* *DELETED* [Re: Cowgold]
#7686415 - 11/27/07 03:16 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by mlo517Reason for deletion: idk
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Compass
Ancient Light

Registered: 10/17/06
Posts: 1,149
Loc: The Border of Reality
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* [Re: Cowgold]
#7686417 - 11/27/07 03:17 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah, but in that manner, everything is in your head.
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Cowgold
Bullshit


Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 12,486
Loc: .
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* [Re: mlo517]
#7686435 - 11/27/07 03:21 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Establish a routine so you can go mindlessly through life when you need to. When I start feeling crazy, it's usually when I'm not doing anything. Slow it down for the good parts and be disciplined enough to pick your routine up where you left off.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman



Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* [Re: Compass]
#7686437 - 11/27/07 03:22 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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got news for ya buddy thinking will never go away you will aways ponder be thankful you do. there are too many things you could never will never know. do not work yourself up too much buddy  if you get confused, listen to the music play
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman



Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* [Re: notapillow]
#7686450 - 11/27/07 03:24 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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your imagination is literaly what you "image" in your head. any place you go, see hear or smell in your head is as real as my fingers hitting the key board riht now. we are all tangled. the realities of yor head, and our dreams reside not on this grid, on this planet, not here not now, but forever and everywhere.
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mlo517
Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 24
Loc: Conway, Arkansas
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* *DELETED* [Re: notapillow]
#7686497 - 11/27/07 03:35 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by mlo517Reason for deletion: idk
Edited by mlo517 (11/27/07 03:36 PM)
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mecreateme
YoUisMEEMsiUoY


Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 2,727
Loc: Memphrica
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* [Re: mlo517]
#7686519 - 11/27/07 03:41 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Don't try to figure out answers man. Just steep in the mystery. There are no answers to the question you ask unless you put your trust in something someone else says.
-------------------- No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT. You are everything's way of feeling itself. Happy Schwag, everygodly!
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mlo517
Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 24
Loc: Conway, Arkansas
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* *DELETED* [Re: mecreateme]
#7686526 - 11/27/07 03:43 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by mlo517Reason for deletion: idk
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mlo517
Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 24
Loc: Conway, Arkansas
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* *DELETED* [Re: mlo517]
#7686542 - 11/27/07 03:46 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by mlo517Reason for deletion: idk
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman



Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* [Re: mlo517]
#7686569 - 11/27/07 03:54 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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read dude. listen to music. questions are always worth far more than answers. no need to feel like you nne to know much of anything just live.
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mecreateme
YoUisMEEMsiUoY


Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 2,727
Loc: Memphrica
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* [Re: mlo517]
#7686586 - 11/27/07 03:58 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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You would be surprised by what older people have done. Taking psychedelics is almost a rite of passage in this day and age and almost any able-bodied, curious person will usually try them at least once. There is a lot of time in a human life span.
-------------------- No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT. You are everything's way of feeling itself. Happy Schwag, everygodly!
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mlo517
Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 24
Loc: Conway, Arkansas
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: Please someone give me some hope *DELETED* *DELETED* [Re: mecreateme]
#7686697 - 11/27/07 04:24 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by mlo517Reason for deletion: idk
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