A couple of days ago my granfather died and i just got the news yesterday about it.
I was thinking about death and how our ideas about it change our experience of what is actually there to experience, in that if you believe you will never experience the person again, you will be closed off to searching for an experience to do so.
What happen to me yesterday experientially, changed the course of what i thought death to encompass.
I had been getting alot of dreams about death and i felt very scared during and empty after. What i realized i was empty on was experiencing the connection between you and the person you miss. At first i lacked this because i was ignorant to the truth that we are all connected, yet have come to the knowledg that if you do not acknolwedge that connection, it lacks existence and that empty feeling i get becomes reality.
Where i came to the realization of this was after being frightened in a dream, when i found myself talking to mom, brother and close friend, on the phone from the other side. They were happy and told me to relax, that they were ok and continue to live and love. Well, i woke up and found myself seriously missing them, because i am away at school and for some reason, after thinking about how i am connected with them and thus i am them, i would simply have acknolwedge this and bang, there they were, energetically like a vibration and i began to feel comfortable enough to fall asleep.
So when i realized he died, i began to notice that grandpa was alot more 'accesable' to connect with me and i felt a rush of feeling, infuse me through the back, where i began to feel like my granpa was here with me and even said to me, that he knows what i am up too and would help me.
I was thinking at what this could mean in regards to philosophy and i concluded that when we die, there are different attributes that we have in non-death too, which get enhanced. What this means for me is that i simply am just experiencing a new relationship, with him, whereas the love really stays the same, if not more intense and pure.
I think this is all that occurs, we just get different abilities and capacities to play with and love. And it is where i realize why my family is so sad, despaired and depressed, they simply cannot acknolwledge he is still here, because they are only knwoledgable of experiencing him with his body, and so are unable to acknolwedge the capacity to experience his love now.
It is scary at times, considering that i slip into forgetfullness and experience such a drastic emptiness - tho - fullness is only in light of emptiness.
Alrite peace lovers.
-------------------- The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution. And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change. Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems. Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....
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man its getting hard to see them like this. It pains my heart, but heals it to know i will see them better one day.
I love this process really. ITs mysterious.
MEh. I love a mysetery, i guesse.
fucking hell do i love peace. Oh peace, please...forget please. NOW!!!
Altogether now. PEACE NOW!!!!
-------------------- The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution. And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change. Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems. Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....
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