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donatello
Ninja

Registered: 11/24/07
Posts: 4
Loc: Florence
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Drugs and girlfriends...
#7674922 - 11/24/07 03:17 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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So I've finally found a nice gf but she hates drugs... I've tried talking to her but she's really close minded about that. I always had a really good relation with drugs (psycho actives, etc), all my mates usually like to smoke their spliffs but she can't stand "drugged people"... I've been with her since June and she's really open concerning lot's of subjects but her parents had some problems with heroin and crack, so that made her like that. I can't really deal with that narrowmindness but I love her. Anyone had the same problem?
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ZippoZ
Knomadic



Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: Drugs and girlfriends... [Re: donatello]
#7675451 - 11/24/07 06:13 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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yeah, my last gf was a real bitch about it, always complaining that she couldnt stand me getting high or drinking........ despite she used to get high herself...
suffice to say, that we didnt work out
-------------------- PEACE
zippoz "in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption" "People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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Rustifer
prestige worldwide



Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
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Re: Drugs and girlfriends... [Re: ZippoZ]
#7675536 - 11/24/07 06:39 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I was in a situation very similar to yours for a long time.
I highly recommend not trying to have a relationship with a girl while hiding drug use from her. Not because it's wrong or anything, but it will cause more problems than you can imagine.
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tosatori
and beyond


Registered: 01/19/07
Posts: 482
Last seen: 1 month, 3 days
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Re: Drugs and girlfriends... [Re: Rustifer]
#7675706 - 11/24/07 07:28 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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right man, what you have to do is slowly and subtley try and make her see the differences between drugs. Tell her that you're against crack and heroin (presuming that you are), and that you know many drugs are destructive,also tell her that some drugs are not destructive. Use strong arguments, like the fact shrooms, lsd, etc, are non toxic, and cannot kill you. just keep it all subtle, but if she really won't accept them, dont hide them. Just be yourself and see if you can teach her something.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: Drugs and girlfriends... [Re: donatello]
#7675778 - 11/24/07 07:45 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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i think drugs were a semi-significant factor in the reason this one girl and i actually never got together for any length of time
it's not that i was using a lot or anything terribly hard, but she really just didn't understand. she used to smoke some and drink some, now drinks at least somewhat often as far as i've heard...dunno bout anything else
but yea, unless she's at least respectful about it, it's going to cause some issues
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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LeftyBurnz
Mr. I Eat Butthole



Registered: 06/21/05
Posts: 24,570
Loc: FL
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Re: Drugs and girlfriends... [Re: demiu5]
#7676367 - 11/24/07 10:56 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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there are three things that make or break a woman for me. if we dont see eye to eye on all three, then we might as well not even try. because im not giving up any of them for one woman.
1.guns 2.drugs 3.frequent enough sex
if a woman doesnt match your ideals, then you cant expect it to work. unless of course youre ready to give up something you love.
--------------------
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sherm
sherman


Registered: 10/02/03
Posts: 20,498
Loc: Euthanasia
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Re: Drugs and girlfriends... [Re: donatello]
#7677673 - 11/25/07 12:07 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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--Anyone had the same problem?
yea
let her go now before you let it go too far you'd have better luck drilling a hole in your skull than changing her mind
and the hole in the brain would be less painful
-------------------- shroomery. not even once.
    
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Gill

Registered: 10/18/07
Posts: 511
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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Re: Drugs and girlfriends... [Re: sherm]
#7682520 - 11/26/07 04:26 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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My girlfriend hates drugs and alcohol, which is fine with me. However, before we even got into a relationship, I made it very clear that I wasn't going to stop smoking herb or enjoying the occasional beer/shot just because she didn't like them. I know relationships are about giving and getting, but this doesn't apply to everything.
The way I see it, if any girl expects you to stop doing something you enjoy that isn't destructive simply because she doesn't like it, you should just toss her back into the water. If you give that up, she'll get it in her head that she has control over your habits, and it's only a matter of time before she starts making more stupid demands. The only compromises I made on my habits were smoking in the next room when she's over here, and using a little bit of listerine after I do it because she doesn't like the smell of weed on my breath.
Try going about your substance use in a way that's more conscious of her desires. I'd just only do them when she's not around. However, as somebody else said, don't make her think you've given them up. That'll only cause more problems later on down the road. She needs to know you still do them responsibly when she's not around. If she can't handle that, then you're much better off ending the relationship before it progresses too far and makes separating that much more difficult.
Nobody wants complications involving a kid, a bitchy anti-drug girlfriend, and a love for psychoactives.
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SapphireCat
Seeker



Registered: 11/29/05
Posts: 613
Loc: Ireland
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
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Re: Drugs and girlfriends... [Re: Gill]
#7682644 - 11/26/07 04:53 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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my gf just doesn't like the lonely spliffs i have. if i'm out with friends or anything she doesn'T mind, just the night time spliffs when there's no reason shes against. Which i dunno i actually like, since i wanted to cut down my pot use anyway and alot of the spliffs i go for i'm not even in the mood for. but i probably prefer the lonely one as oposed to the group smoking, so like no problem if i have one every now and again.
i do smoke alot less now though, and i'm definitely happy about it. happy i could find a middleground with her.
-------------------- Beauty of style and harmony and grace and good rhythm depend on Simplicity ~Plato
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ShiftyS
Arachnophile


Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 10
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: Drugs and girlfriends... [Re: SapphireCat]
#7683806 - 11/26/07 10:33 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Eh, I've gotten pretty lucky with finding girls that don't really get mad about my habits. They still care about me and would rather I didn't do them, but were never angry or anything.
-------------------- No one can hear you scream in my head... So quit trying!
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Chazzersize
Pokemon Master



Registered: 11/30/03
Posts: 1,274
Loc: Center Of The World
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: Drugs and girlfriends... [Re: donatello]
#7683967 - 11/26/07 11:35 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm sorry to hear about some of your past relationships....
I'm EXTREMELY lucky...My girl doesnt really give me any guff about anything except my occasional coke habit. Needless to say, my bank account was almost drained before I came to my senses.
Back on track though. She doesnt care about my pot usage at all. Infact, she'll even smoke with me sometimes and we'll journey over to Arby's or get really bangin' mexican food.
Just know guys. If she wants you to quit a habit...and it's NOT pot/mushrooms/acid/cigarettes .....run.
-------------------- Take off my mask and leave the lies to the liars.
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