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Thin White Duke
Stranger


Registered: 10/20/04
Posts: 51,530
Loc:
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Ok, that's it.
#7667598 - 11/22/07 05:25 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm going cold turkey. Time to stop being a wuss and just fucking forget about her. No more giving in and checking out her facebook to see what she's up to or talking to her on msn. I made a special point to cut it short and stop chatting with her before midnight came so I could start right now.
She's a liar, and I despise liars. I found out the other day that an (erotic) story she had once written for me, which was 'her first attempt at writing from two different viewpoints' was actually just an e-mail conversation she had had with some other guy. Not to mention her phony lesbianism - which I know for a fact is fake. I feel sorry for the girl she is currently exploiting. I wonder how she will feel when the bitch just ups and leaves next summer.
She's coming to England. That's fine, but don't expect any help from me. Not anymore. I was genuinely willing to help out, really interested in seeing her again, but after seeing how she exploits other people? Nah. I'm not letting her do that to me. She's already suckered an ex into sending her $300 every two weeks. Poor guy. And of course there's the girl with whom she's only sleeping with so she has a place to stay.
I fucking hope to God I'm in Australia when she gets here.
Sigh. I'm so repulsed by her, yet still crazy about her. I can't stop thinking about her and it's getting me down immensely. Even my mother asked me earlier if I was depressed. Fucking bitch has destroyed me.
This will be hard. Maybe I'll post updates in here every week or so. That might help.
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xpl0de
ḆËŦŦЯ_őƑ_Ŧwo ƹvïlz




Registered: 07/14/07
Posts: 2,213
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Quote:
Phumfeinz said: She's a liar, and I despise liars. I found out the other day that an
mhmm i feel u dude.. been there =/ be strong and dont give in
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AlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist



Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 11,181
Loc: Solar Circuit
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respecting yourself.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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She didn't destroy you, you're destroying yourself with this kind of thinking. I am really sorry that you're going through that, but there are people out there who just can't live without lying and trying to take advantage. But the good news is that we can turn our back on them whenever we want to and start minding our own business. But you can't make her responsible for how you feel, since we're talking about YOUR feelings, not hers. When something like that happens to us (and I'm speaking from my own experience as well), we find it easier to believe that we'll get over more efficiently if we poison our minds by repeating the flaws of the other, how much they did us wrong and how they don't deserve our attention. This has turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes, because we only make ourselves hurt more, become more irrational and irresponsible. Forget all about that, this is a waste of time and energy. As long as we choose to whine of feel bad about something, it means that we're not ready to get over. What you have for her is probably a fixation, not love. It simply contradicts the concept of love and what it stands for. Love makes us feel good and be 100% there for the other, unconditionally. You're not, otherwise you wouldn't disprove what she's doing. This doesn't mean that you should start accepting her behavior (which is obviously fucked up), but it means that you might come to a better understanding regarding your real feelings towards her.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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chodamunky
Cheers!


Registered: 02/28/02
Posts: 2,030
Loc: sailing the seas of chees...
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Going cold turkey is a reaction to the problem, not a "right action", you dig? By ignoring her on msn and facebook you are reacting to your own feelings... understand that once you realize what the actual problem is that you have with her, then going cold turkey won't be an effort. You will just naturally move on and not be repulsed / infatuated with another person... umm it really is that simple and I know this because I just went through something very similar... felt like shit for a month... now I'm back to my energetic self again and I don't hate on the girl at all. People do what they do, you can't change them, so just mind your own business. good luck buddy.
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alphabeatu
Sire

Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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i need names and addresses of narc members pm for details
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Newbie
User of semicolons.



Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 24,710
Loc: SoCal
Last seen: 1 day, 12 hours
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I'm in a similar situation. It's like no matter how many times she breaks my heart I always keep coming back for more, like a vicious cycle. I'm trying myself to just keep her as a friend. Chics like that leave pieces of themselves ALL over your brain. I don't think you can ever get it to really go away, but you can learn how to curb and suppress it.
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Thin White Duke
Stranger


Registered: 10/20/04
Posts: 51,530
Loc:
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Ok. Time to start again 
I better last longer than 3 days this time.
Urgh.
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AlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist



Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 11,181
Loc: Solar Circuit
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there is no start and no end, only the boundaries that you define your life by.
create a mold and pour yourself into it.
become what you envision.
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