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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Emotional abuse [Re: Clean]
#7664464 - 11/21/07 07:08 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Clean said:
Quote:
NiamhNyx said: ("if you just did the dishes I wouldn't have to be abusive,")
that comment is most revealing. ditch this asshole... he yells at others about taking responsibility yet won't even take responsibility for his own state of mind.
Indeed
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Clean
the lense


Registered: 05/11/03
Posts: 2,374
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plus it seems he is basically admitting that "being abusive" is always on option for him. if not the dish it will be something else, any excuse for him to act out that way to satisfy whatever emotional shit he has going on. this type of behavior can be more draining than you realize until the person is no longer in your life / they snap out of it (not something you should count on)
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Emotional abuse [Re: Clean]
#7664561 - 11/21/07 07:32 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
plus it seems he is basically admitting that "being abusive" is always on option for him.
I noticed that admitting something like that, also makes part of being abusive and somehow preserving it. Because they might give the other the impression that they're about to change and that they're being "open" about their problem.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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Re: Emotional abuse [Re: Clean]
#7664603 - 11/21/07 07:42 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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That's exactly what I was trying to say to him, but he refused to hear it. He truly seems to believe that yelling and being intimidating is an acceptable way to deal with issues. He also seems to think that he can blame me for 'making' him angry rather than taking responsibility for his feelings of powerlessness and shame and subsequent effort to shame and domineer me to make up for it. That's the biggest crossing of boundaries I've experienced in a damn long time. In fact, I think this may actually be the first time someone I cared about has ever pulled such a dramatic and blatant attempt to dominate me. It's even more insulting because I already told him that I can't handle being yelled at and that it will NEVER be an effective method for motivating me to do anything. I have to say, I'm proud of myself for not losing myself and submitting for the sake of avoiding conflict (which I have a history of doing.) Even though I bawled my eyes out, I didn't lose an ounce of dignity.
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MushmanTheManic
Stranger


Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
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Re: Emotional abuse [Re: NiamhNyx]
#7667536 - 11/22/07 04:56 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
NiamhNyx said: I've decided to tell him he has one chance, but if he ever raises his voice again, or manipulates or demeans me in any way, he's out of the house.
I've heard that one before...
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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Yeah, you may have. But as this is the first time he's ever yelled at me in this intimidating and dominating manner, one more chance is appropriate. He's done other incredibly annoying things, but this is the first overt power trip.
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