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blkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
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What sort of family background do you have?
#7645245 - 11/16/07 06:21 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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How do you think it shaped you? I know there are frighteningly high rates of divorce in the United States - and I wonder how people cope with these broken families? My parents divorced at 3, so I never really knew my father and saw him irregularly and briefly throughout my life. I grew up more of a loner and outsider because of this I think, which brought me to drugs and learning to live with and love myself. I made many promises to myself though - the life I lead right now is not the kind I'd wish for any of my kids, assuming I have some. Family history plays such an important role in life and it's just so strange how little value is placed on family sometimes, parents just take the easy way out and bail on each other and let kids grow up in foster care and shit like that.
Edited by blkjkrabbit (11/16/07 06:22 PM)
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Silversoul
Rhizome


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Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7645276 - 11/16/07 06:34 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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My parents are still together after all these years. There were times when it seemed that their marriage was on the rocks, but they've pulled through each time. I wish more people had an example like that to live by.
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mikeytro
Stranger


Registered: 01/28/07
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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7645288 - 11/16/07 06:40 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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parents still together not the most happy marriage, but they pulled through as well
-------------------- "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Einstein
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MrKite1
Cosmo

Registered: 03/02/04
Posts: 1,384
Loc: AK
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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: mikeytro]
#7645339 - 11/16/07 06:56 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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My parents had a pretty good marriage and I imagine would have been unlikely to ever divorce.
My father died when I was 10 though. I'm not sure exactly how that may have shaped me as a person but it undoubtedly impacted the course of my life.
-------------------- When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
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WhiskeyClone
Not here


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Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7645476 - 11/16/07 07:30 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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My parents are still together after 36 years.
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#7645482 - 11/16/07 07:32 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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My parents are together after 32 years.
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WhiskeyClone
Not here


Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: EternalCowabunga]
#7645503 - 11/16/07 07:38 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I win!
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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Hyper_Panda_GO
Team Action!


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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7645509 - 11/16/07 07:40 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I lived with both mother and father, I wasn't one of those fucked up broken children
-------------------- There is no valid reason you should be reading this
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Spooge
The Nutter
Registered: 04/21/04
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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7645515 - 11/16/07 07:42 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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My parents are having their 25th anniversary soon. There were many indications through my childhood that they were only staying together for us kids. I think a divorce was very close.
I always had, and still do have, the feeling that they let raising kids be associatied with nothing but stress and negativity and it impacted their marriage horribly.
That's even further solidified by the fact that now me and my sister are adults, they seem happy and content together. But my sister is living with them still.
So in hindsight, I was always right on my assumption that I was a huge contributing factor to all the shittiness in the household.
And just before I left the house, my dad realized how bad he had screwed up all this time and tried to "quick fix" it by bullshitting with me as an equal over beers and whatnot. That only worked so much.
I don't have the greatest relationship with my parents. We are civil, we talk and I see them at all the major holiday gatherings and a few other times other than that. I'm not huge into the whole "family" thing with them, that's for sure.
It's always natural to try and blame something or someone else for a person's downfalls, and I personally could find so many reasons to blame them, but in the end, the responsibility is on me. There is no doubt that I would be a different person today if my family background was different though
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CosmicFool
Psychoholic


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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: blkjkrabbit]
#7645541 - 11/16/07 07:46 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I watched my parents get married 1990 I watched my parents get divorced 1995 had "joint" custody I lived w/ my mom
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: CosmicFool]
#7645550 - 11/16/07 07:47 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I have 4 siblings.
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Cameron
Too Many Words



Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 4,437
Loc: Canada
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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: CosmicFool]
#7645567 - 11/16/07 07:51 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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My parents divorced when I was five, and my mom got custody over myself and my three brothers, but she succumbed to cancer when I was seven. We ended up being raised by my dad, and we all turned out to be decent people, despite the lack of parenting. He wasn't the worst dad in the world, but I know that if I ever have kids I'll do anything and everything in my power to ensure that they don't grow up in a broken home (probably the same thing, word for word, that everyone says before they experience the pressures of family life in the adult role).
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cube talk
Stranger

Registered: 10/11/07
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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: Cameron]
#7645579 - 11/16/07 07:54 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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My mom left me and my dad when i was 2, took my sister with her who i loved dearly and still miss forever and always. Haven't seen either of them in god knows how long.
As for family as a whole, lol... I know where one of my cousins lives at, but thats about it. Just me and my father like it's always been.
Pretty lonely at times, but i feel like it's leading me somewhere honestly.
Destiny.
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kake
The answer to1984 is 1776.




Registered: 05/06/99
Posts: 2,782
Loc: The 66th harmonic
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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: cube talk]
#7645610 - 11/16/07 08:00 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I think adults who grew up with one parent seem to bond well with other adults who grew up with one parent.
-------------------- The answer to 1984 is 1776.
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blkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
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Re: What sort of family background do you have? [Re: kake]
#7646446 - 11/17/07 12:29 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Weird - even though this was a tiny poll and it's hard to get an accurate figure on who was in who's custody - it's interesting how the mom is almost always the single parent person. I really, really wish my parents had not split up - there's been too much family drama from that shit, with kids caught in the crossfire. My brother and I are about as much "family" as I've ever had, or ever will have. I can't speak for anyone else - but fuck step-parents, they'll never share the same bond as original parents and you're just baggage in their eyes.
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