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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: beneath]
    #7638357 - 11/15/07 04:50 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

You can...just make peace with yourself.  :heart: It can be done.


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Offlinebeneath
One Way Street
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Registered: 10/30/07
Posts: 1,239
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: MOTH]
    #7638376 - 11/15/07 05:14 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

i just went to the doctors, i'll be getting refered to a psychiatrist, it might take a few weeks though.

In the waiting room there was a fucking painting of the bridge i was going to jump off and my brain attempts to make some connection with the painting, the bridge and the fact i'm in the doctors waiting room. like it was some kind of setup.
I was just sitting there and i turned around and seen this ominous painting and was like :eek:

Then when i'm walking home there was some "human figure" standing in my back garden which dissapeared as soon as i seen it.

It's starting to get to much for me, i'm exausted from years of depression and this is starting to push me.

i'm sure i'll find my way, but this is really taxing.

fuckit whatever


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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: beneath]
    #7638497 - 11/15/07 07:05 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

If you don't mind me asking, for how long have you been depressed, for how long did you take medication and did you by any chance, stopped the medication any time close to the experience you related here?
Also, do you have any clue what was the cause of your depression?


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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OfflineShredman
metal
Male


Registered: 09/10/07
Posts: 78
Last seen: 14 years, 11 months
Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: beneath]
    #7638556 - 11/15/07 08:04 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

you think He isnt realy but the truth is, the ground your standing on is holy. and you might not ever notice it. until one day.


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<>()<>()<>()<>()
-------------------------()()()()()()()()()()()()()()<><><><><><><><><><>


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OfflineShredman
metal
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Registered: 09/10/07
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Last seen: 14 years, 11 months
Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: Shredman]
    #7638559 - 11/15/07 08:06 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

and what if this is just a stage and you end up getting on med. and it messes u up even more. thats what has happend to me in the past, but i just quit taking med. and manned it out.


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<>()<>()<>()<>()
-------------------------()()()()()()()()()()()()()()<><><><><><><><><><>


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Offlinebeneath
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #7638608 - 11/15/07 08:43 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

i took Mirtazapine for about 1month or 2 and i tried zoloft once, it made me feel shitty so i never took it again, that was about June.
I then decided i would just handle it myself, and started to accept that i would be depressed allot but tried to work through it and "tough it out"

but all these things like hearing voices and seeing things were only small things, they were there but didn't really fuck with me but now they are getting worse and starting to fuck with me.

i wasn't too sure what caused my depression i think, i honestly just think I'm fucked up, my head goes full on 100% and hardly ever stops, i can't think straight, i hear and see random stuff, i don't think i trust anyone, forming relationships is hard for me and i feel like I'm losing grip on reality more and more, I'm losing myself.
also, this society fucking sucks.

yeah , i know, life's what you make of it, which I'm trying to do and all this crap is dragging me under.

The only thing that keeps me grounded is music, i love it, it is amazing :shrug:
I'm not sure if I'd be here anymore if i never had music and be able to play it, how cliche lol , it's like my only grip i have on my sanity.

I don't think the mind is supposed to be confined the way it is in western society.


Edited by beneath (11/15/07 09:27 AM)


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InvisibleEternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance
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Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: beneath]
    #7638858 - 11/15/07 10:05 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Keep listening to music, it obviously works for you. I am no doctor but it sounds like you are getting too ahead of yourself, not letting yourself relax. You're thinking too much, and now you are thinking too much about thinking too much - with your head always busy you are less aware of your body so it makes you tense and this is what causes the paranoia.

What helps me really relax and get my mind quiet and what may help you is 10-20 minutes a day just lying on the floor or sitting cross legged with your back against a hard surface and just let your thoughts flow, stop thinking for one second and breathe very deeply. Let your thoughts flow again, then stop thinking and take another breath. See if there's any difference in your body from before and after you take the breath.

Do you get enough exercise? A 10 minute jog/run could get you out of your head, keep focused on your destination and keep your eyes ahead of you. I think the reason why you see and hear random stuff is because you're looking for any way out of your mind and so your mind conjures up these things to kind of 'shock' you into the present moment. The present moment AKA the relaxed joy of being can be better achieved simply through focus on the breath, drinking water and getting enough exercise.

I know society sucks, but it'll be a lot better if you try and work towards your sanity. You are not insane, you are just holding too much of society's weight.


--------------------


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OfflineLion
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Registered: 09/20/05
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #7639140 - 11/15/07 11:02 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

excellent practical advice


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”


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OfflineJustice_Fish
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #7640792 - 11/15/07 05:13 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

I say go there.
Don't think about it getting worse, you must not do that.


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Invisiblesleepy
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Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 3,888
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: beneath]
    #7640957 - 11/15/07 05:54 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

people get afraid of what they don't understand and i'd say fuck the doctors.  they can really fuck you up if they don't like you, if you act crazy, if you tell them what you expereince.  even if you tell them "a voice tells me to hurt myself"  and "i want to kill myself" they can lock you in a hospital and force drug you.
i've been where you are, ask god to help you and meet him halfway thru your spiritual efforts to improve yourself.  good luck:thumbup:


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Invisiblesleepy
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: sleepy]
    #7641013 - 11/15/07 06:07 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

http://spiritualrecoveries.blogspot.com/2006/05/dr-john-weir-perry-diabasis.html

http://spiritualrecoveries.blogspot.com/2006/05/dr-john-weir-perry-far-side-of-madness.html
very interesting reads

and especially, drumroll please

http://spiritualemergency.blogspot.com/2006/01/mental-breakdown-as-healing.html

good luck, and if you want some great great super great advice, DO NOT TELL ANYONE WHAT ANY VOICES ARE TELLING YOU, NOR TELL ANYONE THAT YOU ARE HEARING VOICES OR EXPERIENCING ANYTHING STRANGE, NOR THAT YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF. as you would see, some people feel compelled to react and to "help you out" if you tell them these things. in the end you have to help yourself. do not tell parents or authority figures or your school nurse, they will probably (and may be required by law) to tell a higher authority who will put you in a mental hospital and not let you out till you go insane.

good luck

good luck


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"O'C: Did Jung really see this as a healing process?

PERRY: He did indeed! He believed that "schizophrenia" is a self-healing process - one in which, specifically, the pathological complexes dissolve themselves. The whole schizophrenic turmoil is really a self-organising, healing experience. It's like a molten state. Everything seems to be made of free energy, an inner free play of imagery through which the alienated psyche spontaneously re-organises itself - in such a way that the conscious ego is brought back into communication with the unconscious again.









Edited by sleepy (11/15/07 06:10 PM)


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Invisiblesleepy
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Registered: 01/17/05
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: beneath]
    #7641088 - 11/15/07 06:22 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

O'C: What does it feel like to go through a "schizophrenic break"?

PERRY: The overall experience is described as falling into a kind of abyss of isolation. This comes about because there is such a discrepancy between the subjective inner world that one has been swept into, and the mundane everyday world outside. There seems to be a total gulf between these two. Of course, this is exactly what happens in our society: the individuals around such a person are bewildered and frightened. They have absolutely no trust in what is going on! So everything is set up negatively, and this gives rise to fear - on both sides.


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Invisiblesleepy
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Registered: 01/17/05
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: sleepy]
    #7641262 - 11/15/07 06:51 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

im drunk, forgive me. its all a misunderstanding. everyone should be free to go nuts or be sane, the way i can choose a radio station. PEACE

OUT

and IN


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: beneath]
    #7641624 - 11/15/07 08:06 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Glad you sought help if you need it.  :heart:


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Invisibleredtailedhawk
Explorer of the Mystery
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Registered: 11/24/04
Posts: 559
Loc: The Old Continent
Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: beneath]
    #7643351 - 11/16/07 08:56 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Hey man. Sorry to hear about your troubles. I had the same thing happen to me about a year ago -- I was walking on a bridge and these thoughts started to appear in my head saying; "jump, jump!!". To make the matters worse, I WAS going home from the freaking psychotherapist office! Can you believe that?

Anyway, what I want to assure you that you're perfectly normal and that you don't have to take an anti-psychotic or anything unless you want to. Also know that no one out there is living "a normal life" - which is nothing but a myth, since we're all struggling with one type of issue or another.

Also as a personal recommendation, a therapy might still be good for you. Not to medicate you or put a "crazy" stamp on your forehead, but to help you learn to accept yourself, manage these kind of thoughts when they come up and to have someone to reflect this ideas back to you with a more objective stance.

Good luck!


--------------------

"Who are you who live in all these many forms? You're death that captures all. You too are the source of all that's gonna be born. You're glory, mercy, peace, truth. You give calm a spirit, understanding, courage, the contented heart."


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Offlinebeneath
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: redtailedhawk]
    #7643514 - 11/16/07 09:58 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

yeah, thanks.

I don't think I'll take an anti-psychotic but I'll discuss it with my psychiatrist.

she recommended cognitive behaviour therapy last time i was there but i had a heavy workload from college and couldn't do it at the time so she might recommend that again, she prefers using other methods before prescribing meds. She's fairly relaxed and alright to talk to, she doesn't seem to judge or anything.


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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Registered: 12/02/05
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: beneath]
    #7643567 - 11/16/07 10:18 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

That's great. Sounds like a wise person, I with you the best of luck and keep us up to date :smile:


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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OfflineKristian
Stranger

Registered: 11/15/07
Posts: 31
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #7648479 - 11/17/07 06:17 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

I have, and still do go through the same exact thing. My advice: 1) Do not take medications. As long as you are taking medications, you will always carry around the notion that something is wrong with you WHEN REALLY THERE ISN'T!!! And let's face it, the pharmaceutical industry doesn't really know jack about how our bodies work. They claim the drug does one thing; it may or may not, and it may create problems of its own. 2) People are unique and nobody should ever try to live a "normal" life because no such thing exists and that would, in fact, be living a life untrue to yourself. Be yourself and as Moth said, be accepting of yourself. Society (specifically those at the top) try their best to make everyone else feel bad about being themselves so that we do not upset the hierarchy that exists, that's just how society currently operates at this stage of evolution. 3) As far as self-esteem goes, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. For people like you and me that are particularly sensitive/empathic, it is all too easy for people to take advantage of our nature and make us feel bad about ourselves (tantamount to rape really). Have the presence to recognize when people do this to you, put your foot down and then walk away. Don't associate with people that take advantage of you. You may find out that you have no true friends. But it is better to know this than to live under the illusion of "friends" and continually let yourself get beaten down psychologically by others. 4) As far as the voice itself, you will realize that it is you. BUT the trick is (as always with semantics) that words are poor vehicles for capturing what we mean/feel. If you break it down as I have, you will find that what the voice may really be saying is that something in your life is out of place. Something is bothering you and you have to stop associating with it (whether it be bad friends/family/behaviors). Lift the veil of conditioned neuroses and you will understand what is really triggering these negative emotions in you (the thoughts are negative because your emotions are negative btw). I know this is hard because it requires that you really focus in on yourself and act as yourself rather than what other people and society have conditioned you to act as. 5) You said you like music, but I cautiously and humbly suggest that you may have become reliant on it (like people become reliant on drugs/food/whatever). I know personally I sometimes get trapped in listening to music to temporarily escape from whatever it is that is tormenting me. Recognize that this may be the case and learn to step back from an unhealthy relationship with music if it exists (any unhealthy relationship for that matter). 6) Do shit that makes you happy even if it's the same things that you did when you were little. If you feel like randomly running down the street just for the sheer sensation, do it. If you feel like climbing up a tree/over a bridge/up  a cliff DO IT! Don't ever let anyone tell you that what you makes you happy is wrong, because THAT'S WRONG.

I truly hope this helps you, and feel free to disregard anything that doesn't apply to you. I've done my best, but the internet is not the best medium for getting to know you, so I based a lot of what I said off of myself. If you want to talk to me, just send me a PM. I'll help you anyway I can. :smile:


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OfflineQuerjek
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Registered: 09/26/07
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: Kristian]
    #7649199 - 11/17/07 09:45 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Kristian said:
I have, and still do go through the same exact thing. My advice: 1) Do not take medications. As long as you are taking medications, you will always carry around the notion that something is wrong with you WHEN REALLY THERE ISN'T!!! And let's face it, the pharmaceutical industry doesn't really know jack about how our bodies work. They claim the drug does one thing; it may or may not, and it may create problems of its own. 2) People are unique and nobody should ever try to live a "normal" life because no such thing exists and that would, in fact, be living a life untrue to yourself. Be yourself and as Moth said, be accepting of yourself. Society (specifically those at the top) try their best to make everyone else feel bad about being themselves so that we do not upset the hierarchy that exists, that's just how society currently operates at this stage of evolution. 3) As far as self-esteem goes, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. For people like you and me that are particularly sensitive/empathic, it is all too easy for people to take advantage of our nature and make us feel bad about ourselves (tantamount to rape really). Have the presence to recognize when people do this to you, put your foot down and then walk away. Don't associate with people that take advantage of you. You may find out that you have no true friends. But it is better to know this than to live under the illusion of "friends" and continually let yourself get beaten down psychologically by others. 4) As far as the voice itself, you will realize that it is you. BUT the trick is (as always with semantics) that words are poor vehicles for capturing what we mean/feel. If you break it down as I have, you will find that what the voice may really be saying is that something in your life is out of place. Something is bothering you and you have to stop associating with it (whether it be bad friends/family/behaviors). Lift the veil of conditioned neuroses and you will understand what is really triggering these negative emotions in you (the thoughts are negative because your emotions are negative btw). I know this is hard because it requires that you really focus in on yourself and act as yourself rather than what other people and society have conditioned you to act as. 5) You said you like music, but I cautiously and humbly suggest that you may have become reliant on it (like people become reliant on drugs/food/whatever). I know personally I sometimes get trapped in listening to music to temporarily escape from whatever it is that is tormenting me. Recognize that this may be the case and learn to step back from an unhealthy relationship with music if it exists (any unhealthy relationship for that matter). 6) Do shit that makes you happy even if it's the same things that you did when you were little. If you feel like randomly running down the street just for the sheer sensation, do it. If you feel like climbing up a tree/over a bridge/up  a cliff DO IT! Don't ever let anyone tell you that what you makes you happy is wrong, because THAT'S WRONG.

I truly hope this helps you, and feel free to disregard anything that doesn't apply to you. I've done my best, but the internet is not the best medium for getting to know you, so I based a lot of what I said off of myself. If you want to talk to me, just send me a PM. I'll help you anyway I can. :smile:




Well spoken.


--------------------
tripping eyes and flooded lungs
northern downpour sends its love


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Offlinetsquad
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Registered: 09/18/06
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Re: shit i think i need some serious help, I'm freaking out man. [Re: beneath]
    #7656933 - 11/19/07 09:54 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

beneath said:
but all these things like hearing voices and seeing things were only small things, they were there but didn't really fuck with me but now they are getting worse and starting to fuck with me.

i wasn't too sure what caused my depression i think, i honestly just think I'm fucked up, my head goes full on 100% and hardly ever stops, i can't think straight, i hear and see random stuff, i don't think i trust anyone, forming relationships is hard for me and i feel like I'm losing grip on reality more and more, I'm losing myself.
also, this society fucking sucks.





In my opinion, after reading this, you should really seek assistance. I'm curious as to how old you are? This sounds like paranoid schizophrenia developing (http://www.behavenet.com/capsules/disorders/schiz.htm), and if it is taken care of early on, the end result can be much better than if it is ignored. I agree with the others when they say the best person to turn to is yourself, but I can only imagine how difficult it is to turn to that self when there is another voice or side to that self. Please go to the doctor, I wish you only the best :heart:

edit: Upon reading further, I see you've already begun to see a therapist. I'm happy for you that you made that decision. Again, I wish you the best.


Edited by tsquad (11/19/07 09:59 PM)


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