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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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i feel dead inside
#7622811 - 11/11/07 05:30 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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i go from rage to sadness all within hours. i cant ever remember anything, i feel like dying.
maybe im depressed.
for the first time in my life i am actually considering getting some meds. so that when i wake up in the morning a feel like i can make a difference. i have thoroughly lost control of myself and of my life.
i feel like a faliure. 
is anyone on antidepressants? do they work?
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7622819 - 11/11/07 05:32 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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My mom is on them. They do work, but try and fix your problems without them first because there are negative side effects. If you really need them though, don't hesitate, they can help and once your life is back in order you can get off em.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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Adom
Totally Nude


Registered: 09/30/01
Posts: 10,877
Loc: Way Up North
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Re: i feel dead inside *DELETED* [Re: pong]
#7622821 - 11/11/07 05:32 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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(I haven't seen anyone who had positive experiences, I've had talks with a Dr. and been recommended a couple things but I have refused as of right now. I am not going to hurt myself and think I can get out of this. I am not ready for the side effects of some of these meds and I don't really care to mention which ones.)
Edited by Adom (11/11/07 05:37 PM)
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mikeytro
Stranger


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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7622825 - 11/11/07 05:33 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I took antidepressants for a few months a year or two ago, I hated it I rather feel what I'm ment to feel
it could work for you but I just dont like the idea of those kinds of meds
I still get depressed on a somewhat regular basis, I just deal its different for everyone though, so it may be right for you
-------------------- "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Einstein
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: Adom]
#7622827 - 11/11/07 05:34 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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If you're actually at the point where you're any sort of danger to yourself (i.e. you can't eat, sleep, suicidal thoughts) then you really should be on meds. People act like they are sooooo bad, and although I'm not a huge fan of them they can really help you. I saw the turnaround with my mom she went from crying everyday to discovering life again.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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evolprim
human



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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7622835 - 11/11/07 05:37 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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dude that attitude that you have lost control of yourself and your life is whats dragging you down. you arent DEAD, and you arent DYING. you are alive, now use your life and do what makes you happy.
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey




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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7622849 - 11/11/07 05:41 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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yeah Im curious about anti-depresants also. While Im not as bad off as you sound right now. It seems like something is off with me and when Im not and some chemical or another that I can't connect to people the right way and I feel like everything I do is off. Maybe its a chemical imbalance or maybe thats what the chemicals have done to me and I just need enough time sober for it to clear up.
-------------------- -QuantumMeltdown Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself. -Mark Twain "The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome Be lonesome and you will be free Live a lie and you will live to regret it That's what livin' is to me That's what livin' is to me" Jimmy Buffett
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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There's a very big difference between being clinically depressed and just going through a tough time. You only need anti-depressants if you are clinically depressed, if you are in a bad trip that won't end. We all go through bad times, but don't take drugs except as your last resort. If you take anti-depressants and you don't really need them they will do more bad than good.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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i cant sleep on a regular basis just cus i worry about shit. i make plans to fix my life up but somehow they always fuck up(i forget to set the alarm before bed etc). i feel helpless and lost i have nobody to love here at college. nobody to hug. i fucking hate it i cant tell any of this to my parents either cus i promised them i would get really good grades. FUCKKKK my mother is calling me right now and i am afraid to pick up because she might think that i am losing it.
the sleeplessness is killing my. without sleep i am useless.
i used to be anti pill, i just see now, that without some sort of help from something/body i will get no satisfaction.
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mushroomplume
Stranger

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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: g00ru]
#7622886 - 11/11/07 05:54 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I was depressed a while back and got on zoloft. I believe zoloft gave me the "edge" or whatever I needed to be passionate about life again. I enjoyed waking up in the morning, talking to friends, and all the little stuff in life.
I stopped taking it after about a year due to sexual side-effects and the fact that I couldn't use mushrooms while on them either.
When off of them, I did find I felt a little blah again, but I had gotten the ball moving enough to give a damn so to speak about life again.
If you are depressed to the point where you do consider suicide or just feel like a walking void, I would reccomend getting on something.
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rainlover
Stranger

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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7622906 - 11/11/07 05:58 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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It it important that you get help. You need to talk to someone, preferably a professional counselor of some sort. I'm sure your school has resources for this. My sister went through a period of depression, and did take meds that helped her. A good self-help book for dealing with depression is "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns. (My husband recently finished counseling school and it was a recommended.)
Best of wishes to you.
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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Quote:
oliveplume said: just feel like a walking void,.
yeah man, zombie status. i dont even think clearly.
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7622919 - 11/11/07 06:01 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
pong said: i cant sleep on a regular basis just cus i worry about shit. i make plans to fix my life up but somehow they always fuck up(i forget to set the alarm before bed etc). i feel helpless and lost i have nobody to love here at college. nobody to hug. i fucking hate it i cant tell any of this to my parents either cus i promised them i would get really good grades. FUCKKKK my mother is calling me right now and i am afraid to pick up because she might think that i am losing it.
the sleeplessness is killing my. without sleep i am useless.
i used to be anti pill, i just see now, that without some sort of help from something/body i will get no satisfaction.
Wtf? All of this is within YOUR control. You have to face reality, grow up, be strong, make friends, LIVE YOUR LIFE, and do what you WANT to do. Nothing is holding you back except yourself, from the sounds of your post. As someone once told me: Stop your fucking whining, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and live.
-------------------- Life is one big road with lots of signs, So when you're ridin' through the ruts, Don't you complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy Don't bury your thoughts, Put your vision to reality, yeah!
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7622924 - 11/11/07 06:02 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Holy shit pong. you and I have a lot in common it seems. I too go to college in my second year and yearn for someone to wrap my arms around.
My memory is for SHIT. I seriously cannot remember anything. Talking bores me. I wish I loved to talk and converse, but I don't I do not even reconize myself sometimes.
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mushroomplume
Stranger

Registered: 10/16/06
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Quote:
Wtf? All of this is within YOUR control. You have to face reality, grow up, be strong, make friends, LIVE YOUR LIFE, and do what you WANT to do. Nothing is holding you back except yourself, from the sounds of your post. As someone once told me: Stop your fucking whining, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and live.
It's very easy to make a statement like this when mentally, everything is ok.
Depresssion at it's worst can result in a complete lack of hope, I'm sure you've heard of people laying in their bed for months at a time never leaving the house. It's very hard to reclaim yourself at this point.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: Tangerines]
#7622941 - 11/11/07 06:06 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Wtf? All of this is within YOUR control. You have to face reality, grow up, be strong, make friends, LIVE YOUR LIFE, and do what you WANT to do. Nothing is holding you back except yourself, from the sounds of your post. As someone once told me: Stop your fucking whining, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and live.
Technically yes it is in his control...but that doesn't mean people don't need help sometimes. There are physiological conditions present here, and sometimes to LIVE YOUR LIFE you just have to get help and realize that it isn't worth it to feel so terrible.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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Quote:
VisionsToReality said:
Quote:
pong said: i cant sleep on a regular basis just cus i worry about shit. i make plans to fix my life up but somehow they always fuck up(i forget to set the alarm before bed etc). i feel helpless and lost i have nobody to love here at college. nobody to hug. i fucking hate it i cant tell any of this to my parents either cus i promised them i would get really good grades. FUCKKKK my mother is calling me right now and i am afraid to pick up because she might think that i am losing it.
the sleeplessness is killing my. without sleep i am useless.
i used to be anti pill, i just see now, that without some sort of help from something/body i will get no satisfaction.
Wtf? All of this is within YOUR control. You have to face reality, grow up, be strong, make friends, LIVE YOUR LIFE, and do what you WANT to do. Nothing is holding you back except yourself, from the sounds of your post. As someone once told me: Stop your fucking whining, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and live.
fuck you. i dont feel sorry for myslef you fucking bitch.
nothing hold back anyone except themselves. nice one there
and guess what, i hope you fucking break your leg and somebody tells you,
well only you can stop the pain, just block it out. while dumping morphine down the drain before your eyes. asshole.
--------------------
Edited by pong (11/11/07 06:15 PM)
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: Tangerines]
#7622964 - 11/11/07 06:13 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tangerines said: Holy shit pong. you and I have a lot in common it seems. I too go to college in my second year and yearn for someone to wrap my arms around.
My memory is for SHIT. I seriously cannot remember anything. Talking bores me. I wish I loved to talk and converse, but I don't I do not even reconize myself sometimes.
one thing i have noticed recently is taht talking has become a game to me. i do it for "fun" but i actually derive nothing but instantaneous sense of self gratitude that fades as soon as the person im talking to is not there anymore.
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GGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7622981 - 11/11/07 06:18 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Anti-depressants i suppose work for some people. I personally think it is just in their heads, thinking a pill is helping them.
Anti-depressants have been proven to make some people more depressed than before, even suicidal.
I tried several anti-depressants and I thought they just made me worse. Paxil was some real evil stuff from my experience.
Then a doctor put me on a bi-polar medicine called Zyprexa. I thought it made me better for a while, but it was all probably in my head. I am relatively certain I am not bi-polar.. it is f.cked up, when you go and see a psychiatrist you talk with them for literally only 2 minutes and they will diagnos people and just randomly choose a medicine for you start on. Honestly something is wrong there. I've seen a few different psychiatrists and they will talk with me for 2-5 minutes, diagnose me with something and then put me on a new med to try out.. its just wrong. One psychiatrist dropped me as a patient once because I told him I did not want to try anymore medications and just wanted to try psychotherapy instead.. they can be so gung ho about putting you on these medicines that I think there should be new laws developed to stop the industry from prescribing medicines to people that probably do not even need it for any reason. This doctor was insisting that I try Geodon and I guess I kind of pissed him off or insulted his intellegence when I asked "What is in that pill exactly?" "Is it a molecule that is found anywhere in nature?" and other similar questions about wtf is even in those pills that is going to make me happier. He couldn't answer me.
I no longer use psychiatric medicine and I notice no difference.
Psychotherapy seems to help some people they have told me. But it is expensive, and personally think most of them are not qualified enough to help people. Personally I have tried a few and would always walk out of their rooms in worse shape than I came in hehe. There are some psychotherapists i guess that can really work magic on you. The ones that are qualified cost 200+ dollars an hour. I recently met one that I connect with, he is a friggin dead-head too, and extremely talented at what he does. I have one appointment set with him coming up soon, which should be very unique, an all-day sessioin with the guy, which I don't know of any other therapist that does that. Everything in my life seems to be going very well right now, but since I can afford to talk with the man, I will. Many people who are happy with their lives go to therapy, it can do some good if you find the right person to do it for you. Your mind is like a car, it needs serviceing every once and a while. Or a computer, they get virus' and you need a pro to help you fix it. Because the majority of the world does not know how to help themselves when they have psychological issues and there are proffessionals out there that know how to help.
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7622985 - 11/11/07 06:19 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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post adolescent existential breakdown, we all have them, its time to start your odyssey!
--------------------
funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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why_not_me
I live tranquilized



Registered: 12/03/04
Posts: 1,223
Loc: Fluffy opiate cloud
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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sounds more like bipolar then depression but im no psychiatrist
-------------------- Feed Your Head.
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 23 days
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: why_not_me]
#7623010 - 11/11/07 06:25 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Pong, I know what you mean with the fading happiness. Its like no matter how happy I get for that precise moment, I will just fall back to where I started. I cannot retain that happiness forever. It always fades to black and I am left wanting more well knowing it won't come.
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: why_not_me]
#7623015 - 11/11/07 06:27 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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well i once tried to diagnose myself from internet info and i came up with manic depressive bi polar.
some mornings i am king, others i wake up crying, like today.
--------------------
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antiPock
fighting entropy



Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 2,509
Loc: Sol 3
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623072 - 11/11/07 06:41 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Dude I've been there, many of us have. I can remember a time when I felt numb during the day, but at night of when not distracted my brain would continually chew itself apart with worries, issues etc. I tried antidepressants once - they made me feel ill. Of course the doc was like, "we can try other ones, different doses" etc., but I was convinced they weren't for me.
What did help? Regular exercise certainly did, especially if it doing something you love to begin with. For me that was surfing, kayaking, playing basketball to name a few. Long solo hikes in nature, or even the city is another option which I use all the time. In fact many studies have shown exercises to be about as effective as antidepressants for mild depression.
Also, in retrospect I think actively seeking the Zen of the moment helped a great deal. What I mean by this is, when engaged in something (say, washing dishes), simply get into it and allow your mind to empty but for the task at hand, no matter how mundane. This is essentially a form of meditation. I found that I discovered I was enjoying myself sometimes and didn't even know it - the warmth of the water on my hands, the rhythm of wash, rinse . . .
Anyway I know a few internet paragraphs can't solve this situation, but it is a soluble dilemma. At least up to a point; the human condition will always be a mix of highs and lows I suppose. The annoying thing can be that these peaks and valleys can be quite disconnected from external circumstance.
As stated previously I also recommend that you take atvantage of student services and talk to somebody. It could help.
There is a lot of love out there. Regardless of how you feel, be honest, kind and positive to others (not that you aren't already) and it will return to you.
Much luck, much love. You are not alone.
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 23 days
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: antiPock]
#7623101 - 11/11/07 06:50 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
antiPock said: I can remember a time when I felt numb during the day, but at night of when not distracted my brain would continually chew itself apart with worries, issues etc.
That line describes me perfectly almost. During the day I almost feel nothing at all. no happiness, no sadness. Its like I have no thoughts at all during the day. Like my brain is just switched off. At night though my brain is like a crazy mathemitican looking for that something, that pattern. All my worries, problems, hatred just come out full force at night.
I need to start to work out because 1) It releases dopamine in your brain 2)it just gives you a more positive outlook on life 3)chicks dig it
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 1,083
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: Tangerines]
#7623179 - 11/11/07 07:14 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Maybe instead of talking to the shroomery drugheaded layman, you could go to a counselor at your school who is trained to deal with this.
Like I said: Take matters into your own hands. What the fuck is holding you back? If it's a chemical imbalance, then it is that. You aren't giving us much to work with and you seem eager to jump on the dopey-pill train
-------------------- Life is one big road with lots of signs, So when you're ridin' through the ruts, Don't you complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy Don't bury your thoughts, Put your vision to reality, yeah!
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Tangerines




Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 17,918
Loc: woodwork
Last seen: 4 years, 23 days
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I am no good face to face. Internet is better for me. I would just lie and be untruthful if I was face to face with a counselor.
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AlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist



Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 11,181
Loc: Solar Circuit
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623216 - 11/11/07 07:26 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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SSRIs are known to make peoples' problems even worse.
beware and take responsibility for your emotions.
--------------------
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 1,083
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: Tangerines]
#7623218 - 11/11/07 07:28 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Victimization:
Quote:
i cant sleep on a regular basis just cus i worry about shit. i make plans to fix my life up but somehow they always fuck up(i forget to set the alarm before bed etc).
Quote:
i feel helpless and lost i have nobody to love here at college. nobody to hug. i fucking hate it i cant tell any of this to my parents either cus i promised them i would get really good grades. FUCKKKK my mother is calling me right now and i am afraid to pick up because she might think that i am losing it.
1) there are countless others at college who are lonely. MAKE FRIENDS and toughen up in the meantime.
2) parents and kids should have open relationships. by keeping secrets and not being open with your parents you're only hurting yourself
YOU ARE IN A DEPRESSED STATE and assuming you have no prior mental conditions there is no fucking reason for you to become a drugged out pill zombie. Toughen the fuck up and take control of your life, no one's gonna do it for yourself! Good luck, more people go through exactly what you are saying than you think and they do just fine without artificial tampering of the brain's biochemistry, this is a classic case of homesickness, and countless others at your school are feeling the same way.
Edited by VisionsToReality (11/11/07 07:49 PM)
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JoseLibrado
return


Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 569
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: lukeboots]
#7623303 - 11/11/07 07:48 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah man, i can relate to that. Though what i have realized about feeling you are something, like a failure or success is that it true if you believe that you, like the idea of a failure or success, are an idea.
I do not believe you are a concept or idea because i believe that we are.... what understands concepts, ideas, feelings, experiences pleasure pain, successes and failures, the sight of birds, the birth of a child, the love of food, the music, the people. This is who we are is conciousness. Just imagine, consider that all your memories were wiped out and all you could remember is that you do not remember anything....who are you now, what is it that make up you at that moment. Walk with yourself from the day you were born, from the day you began to experience this world.
YOu are conccious life - you are what expeiences the universe. you need the pain you feel, for the very reason of the pleasure you will get from it not being there anymore, trailing off like the wind and the moon, changing colors like the leaves in the tress.
-------------------- The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution. And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change. Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems. Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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dude...
visions.
you suck.
seriously, would you seriously believe that i would turn to an option such as pills if it had not been years of this same shit.
5 + years of the same cycle over and over again. i think you would get fed up too.
when was the last time you woke up crying ?
do you even know what that is like?
the problem isnt that i dont have friends. where did you get that?
before you clasify this as homesickness i should tell you that i have been out of the house for 2.5 years now.
so i doubt that. i felt like this even when at home so that shit you say is bunk.
is victimization not real? i am a victim of my own stupidity,and thoughlessness.
but really, why the fuck would i even consider talking about this with people i didnt know at all asking if anyone has med success stories if i didnt think that my condition warrants some help whether chemical or w/e.
Quote:
Maybe instead of talking to the shroomery drugheaded layman, you could go to a counselor at your school who is trained to deal with this.
Like I said: Take matters into your own hands. What the fuck is holding you back? If it's a chemical imbalance, then it is that. You aren't giving us much to work with and you seem eager to jump on the dopey-pill train
i dont seem eager. i have been contemplating it and trying alternatives since i was 15.
dont be too quick to judge.
--------------------
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 1,083
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623401 - 11/11/07 08:17 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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regardless, you're not giving anyone near enough info for them to make a difference. you do realize how incredibly vague you are being, right?see how much it took for me to get that info above out of you? i must have assumed your post wrong because i somehow thought you were a freshman at college
-------------------- Life is one big road with lots of signs, So when you're ridin' through the ruts, Don't you complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy Don't bury your thoughts, Put your vision to reality, yeah!
Edited by VisionsToReality (11/11/07 08:19 PM)
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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why the fuck should you be trying to get the info?
or even contesting what i write?
--------------------
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 1,083
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623406 - 11/11/07 08:19 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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you come on here whining with vague posts and expect ppl to help? what gives.
-------------------- Life is one big road with lots of signs, So when you're ridin' through the ruts, Don't you complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy Don't bury your thoughts, Put your vision to reality, yeah!
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GnuBobo
Frilly Cuffs Extraordinaire



Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 43,754
Loc: Charisma
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623409 - 11/11/07 08:20 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yes, they work. Go talk to a doctor and see how that goes. I was suicidal and having physical symptoms on a regular basis. (Every afternoon, at the same time, I'd start getting what felt like that nasty feeling after coming down off of ecstasy. I'd have to lie down, and just listen to my radio for a couple of hours every day. Doing anything was out of the question.)
I responded quite well to SSRIs.
And fuck these people that are all on this, "Don't take pills to change your mind, man" bullshit.
That's the pot talking, which, btw, also changes how you think and feel.
Pot calling kettle black.
-------------------- Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623413 - 11/11/07 08:21 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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but seriously where did you get the idea that i dont have friends?
did i state this at all in my post?
u post shit directly from your ass?
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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what made you think i wanted help other than reassurance that these pills have a chance of helping me?
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 1,083
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623420 - 11/11/07 08:23 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Nah nah I assumed u were a homesick freshman, which is where the friends thing came from. I was just trying to help but I assumed wrong and was an asshole about it, so I apologize. But still, I think you need to include some more info if you actually want ppl to help, and actually make this thread worth your while.
-------------------- Life is one big road with lots of signs, So when you're ridin' through the ruts, Don't you complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy Don't bury your thoughts, Put your vision to reality, yeah!
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623427 - 11/11/07 08:25 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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If everything you're saying is true (I believe you but you never know on the internet) then go ahead and get some anti-depressants. They won't make you a pill zombie. These idiots don't know what they're talking about.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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damn straight you were an asshole about it.
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623439 - 11/11/07 08:28 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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the reason i feel that chems might help me brainz is because
i have never felt better than the day after a shroom trip.
bad trip good trip , high dose low dose, it makes no difference.
therefore i fully believe that chemicals can alter our conciousness for the better.
thanks d00ds ima go this week to a doctor
(i fucking hate doctors though they ask too many questions and then get mad with the truth)
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ivi


Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,089
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623502 - 11/11/07 08:44 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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One more emo thread and I'm seriously going Glowing_Eleven on yous.
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trent
Stranger
Registered: 10/10/06
Posts: 1,041
Last seen: 15 years, 11 months
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: ivi]
#7623511 - 11/11/07 08:47 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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try replacing one thing inside with another. the answer is Jesus Christ.
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ivi


Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,089
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623514 - 11/11/07 08:48 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Is that Charlotte Roche in your avatar?
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: ivi]
#7623534 - 11/11/07 08:53 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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nah its a chick that goes to college with me
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 1,083
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623549 - 11/11/07 08:56 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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How can you just wake up feeling like shit? Why not...make yourself motivated to do something, get a hobby you enjoy, etc etc? Just wondering
-------------------- Life is one big road with lots of signs, So when you're ridin' through the ruts, Don't you complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy Don't bury your thoughts, Put your vision to reality, yeah!
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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i dunno man 
i have hobbies, but if im not feeling well i have almost no interest in them.
my main hobby right now is making money.
and extracting alkaloids as a secondary side project.
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GnuBobo
Frilly Cuffs Extraordinaire



Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 43,754
Loc: Charisma
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Quote:
VisionsToReality said: How can you just wake up feeling like shit? Why not...make yourself motivated to do something, get a hobby you enjoy, etc etc? Just wondering
Depression is sort of like this:
Say your given "mental state" is the trunk of a large oak tree. So, you're at the trunk around 6 feet off of the ground. You begin to think about things in a way that leads you to take the giant branch out of the trunk on the left side rather than the two that are growing out of the trunk on the right side.
So, at that point, you've limited your options in terms of thoughts and your mental state.
Problem is, you've already started down a bad path, and you can't really teleport over to the other side of the tree. Now you've got a huge series of options that aren't all horrible, but none of them are that great. So you branch off as time continues: take this one here, that one there, suddenly you're stuck way up high on a twig in the "I feel like shit fuck me, fuck me" portion of the tree, with no way in hell to jump over to "nice thoughts" twigs that are a chasm away.
Make sense?
-------------------- Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: trent]
#7623573 - 11/11/07 09:05 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
trent said: try replacing one thing inside with another. the answer is Jesus Christ.
id rather have mescaline
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 1,083
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623584 - 11/11/07 09:10 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
pong said: i dunno man 
i have hobbies, but if im not feeling well i have almost no interest in them.
my main hobby right now is making money.
and extracting alkaloids as a secondary side project.
So basically you do not want to live life to the fullest. Or do you want to but just cant
-------------------- Life is one big road with lots of signs, So when you're ridin' through the ruts, Don't you complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy Don't bury your thoughts, Put your vision to reality, yeah!
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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whatever you want to think Mr. assumption.
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GnuBobo
Frilly Cuffs Extraordinaire



Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 43,754
Loc: Charisma
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7624028 - 11/11/07 11:12 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Fucking go to a doctor, man.
It's not a life sentence for a single visit.
Just express your concerns.
It's not that difficult.
-------------------- Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!
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kriminalelement
"jesus wept."



Registered: 09/26/07
Posts: 1,201
Loc: Ay! los popos estan aqui!
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: GnuBobo]
#7624229 - 11/12/07 12:41 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Dude, i know you think chemicals will alter you for the better, and I think that too, but PLEASE, I'm BEGGING YOU *gets on knees* to go into psychoanalysis with a psychologist you trust deeply for at least six months. It sounds like you're having normal college-stress reaction. Everyone gets this in college. Personally, I couldn't sleep, I lost twenty five pounds making me at risk for heart failure I was so thin, I felt disconnected, I felt like talking to people was just a game.... And to some extent I still feel that way.
But unfortunately, this is part of growing up. First, you have to identify the REASONS you feel the way you do. You must always start therapy with the belief that there are inner and outer reasons for your feelings. FEELINGS ARE NOT PURELY CHEMICAL, and a chemical will not fix them. So just coping with the reasons themselves will help you.
Some reasons not to take anti-depressants: 1. There are no studies that indicate they make any improvement in mood. The average of most people on placebo feeling better is 30-50%, and the average of most people on the actual drugs is 30-50%.
2. These drugs are actually severely mood altering. I have been on EVERY (yes, every) anti-depressant. Since I was eight. I am a naturally angry and depressed person, but since it is due to environmental factors I am not "clinically depressed" (whatever the fuck that means.....) Every anti-depressant I was on made me INSANELY manic. It was like taking speed, but without the desire to do anything or have sex, EVER. The pills will give you a constant rush of serotonin, dopamine, and norepenephrine. This is NOT pleasant. If anything, it decreases your social drive and makes you feel more detached and zombie-like.
3. Anti-depressants have been known to cause panic attacks and nervous breakdowns. When I was taking effexor I became so panicked one time that I couldn't move for five to eight hours. Somebody actually came into my dorm and stole weed from me and I didn't move a muscle. My thoughts constantly raced and I freaked out so bad that I started to think death was chasing me and, while attending my uncles wedding, that my entire family was conspiring to turn me over to the DEA. I actually checked the centerpiece at my table for bugs. I was CONSTANTLY HALLUCINATING. I have never had these feelings in my life, except when I was on effexor. They stopped as soon as I discontinued the drug, but my grades were so low my parents pulled me out of college.
You could have a great experience with anti-depressants.
But you could also go bat shit nuts, and realize how much sanity really means.
Sanity means quite a lot to you when you are chasing a metaphorical owl of your own invention through a patch of trees, and you realize, oh my god, my hands were made by ALIENS!!!!!! (this is not fun)
4. Anti-depressants might make you feel better temporarily, but they can cause long term brain damage (the neurons get cut after a certain amount of time). Also, a lot of people totally lose their ability to focus on them, and get horrible grades (like me).
5. Whatever psychiatrist you see is getting paid thousands and thousands of dollars to pump drugs down your throat, so make sure you ask them to disclose what they are receiving in incentives before you take ANYTHING you are prescribed. I learned this the hard way and have spent the last six months desperately trying to get unaddicted to xanax, which I was prescribed 4mg a day of after speaking to a doctor for five minutes, and who I never saw again. I can feel my own teeth rotating around in their sockets, and I was so freaked that the other day I couldn't take a shower because I saw a ghost in the bathroom. I have to take an anti-seizure medication so i don't drop dead in the street. Whatever you take, you might become addicted. Is addiction something you want to face? How would addiction impact your school work and social life?
As a person who struggles with depression, anger, and suicidal thoughts, PLEASE try psychotherapy. It REALLY helps. I know that sounds stupid and corny and not like it's going to work, but if you find a therapist you can trust it is SOOOOO much more helpful than drugs. Drugs are never the answer. And if you get on the drugs, what's your long-term plan? Stay on them forever? I've met people that have done that, and they're worse off than when they started. You have to make a commitment to independent mental health.
Believe me, I've been in so much pain that all I wanted was a pill. But the pill just numbed it over, you eventually have to deal with your feelings when you get off it. I feel so bad for what you're going through right now and I know you'll find a solution.
-------------------- While there is a lower class, I am in it While there is a criminal element, I am of it While there is a soul in prison, I am not free. Eugene V Debs
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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its ok don't feel bad.
i just find it weird because its been a long time and i have just gotten fed up with whatever methods i can employ myself. i inevitably crash it seems, i just think maybe the meds might stop that. not deal with my problems sometimes they dont even seem to have anything to do with the crash.
im glad to here that these are helpful to some people at least.
i will get some specifics if a doc says i need them. plolly make my choice from there.
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kriminalelement
"jesus wept."



Registered: 09/26/07
Posts: 1,201
Loc: Ay! los popos estan aqui!
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7624253 - 11/12/07 12:54 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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W/e you do, make sure you go see a psychologist first, not a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists will not listen to your problems, nor do they have the facilities to diagnose you. No honest psychiatrist will ever actually diagnose you, they will treat your symptoms for a period of six months and make sure you are seeing a psychologist during and after treatment.
I've never met an honest psychiatrist.
-------------------- While there is a lower class, I am in it While there is a criminal element, I am of it While there is a soul in prison, I am not free. Eugene V Debs
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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good to know
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