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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623439 - 11/11/07 08:28 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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the reason i feel that chems might help me brainz is because
i have never felt better than the day after a shroom trip.
bad trip good trip , high dose low dose, it makes no difference.
therefore i fully believe that chemicals can alter our conciousness for the better.
thanks d00ds ima go this week to a doctor
(i fucking hate doctors though they ask too many questions and then get mad with the truth)
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ivi


Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,089
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623502 - 11/11/07 08:44 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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One more emo thread and I'm seriously going Glowing_Eleven on yous.
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trent
Stranger
Registered: 10/10/06
Posts: 1,041
Last seen: 15 years, 11 months
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: ivi]
#7623511 - 11/11/07 08:47 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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try replacing one thing inside with another. the answer is Jesus Christ.
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ivi


Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,089
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623514 - 11/11/07 08:48 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Is that Charlotte Roche in your avatar?
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: ivi]
#7623534 - 11/11/07 08:53 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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nah its a chick that goes to college with me
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 1,083
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623549 - 11/11/07 08:56 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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How can you just wake up feeling like shit? Why not...make yourself motivated to do something, get a hobby you enjoy, etc etc? Just wondering
-------------------- Life is one big road with lots of signs, So when you're ridin' through the ruts, Don't you complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy Don't bury your thoughts, Put your vision to reality, yeah!
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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i dunno man 
i have hobbies, but if im not feeling well i have almost no interest in them.
my main hobby right now is making money.
and extracting alkaloids as a secondary side project.
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GnuBobo
Frilly Cuffs Extraordinaire



Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 43,754
Loc: Charisma
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Quote:
VisionsToReality said: How can you just wake up feeling like shit? Why not...make yourself motivated to do something, get a hobby you enjoy, etc etc? Just wondering
Depression is sort of like this:
Say your given "mental state" is the trunk of a large oak tree. So, you're at the trunk around 6 feet off of the ground. You begin to think about things in a way that leads you to take the giant branch out of the trunk on the left side rather than the two that are growing out of the trunk on the right side.
So, at that point, you've limited your options in terms of thoughts and your mental state.
Problem is, you've already started down a bad path, and you can't really teleport over to the other side of the tree. Now you've got a huge series of options that aren't all horrible, but none of them are that great. So you branch off as time continues: take this one here, that one there, suddenly you're stuck way up high on a twig in the "I feel like shit fuck me, fuck me" portion of the tree, with no way in hell to jump over to "nice thoughts" twigs that are a chasm away.
Make sense?
-------------------- Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: trent]
#7623573 - 11/11/07 09:05 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
trent said: try replacing one thing inside with another. the answer is Jesus Christ.
id rather have mescaline
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VisionsToReality
RIBBONS


Registered: 09/22/07
Posts: 1,083
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7623584 - 11/11/07 09:10 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
pong said: i dunno man 
i have hobbies, but if im not feeling well i have almost no interest in them.
my main hobby right now is making money.
and extracting alkaloids as a secondary side project.
So basically you do not want to live life to the fullest. Or do you want to but just cant
-------------------- Life is one big road with lots of signs, So when you're ridin' through the ruts, Don't you complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy Don't bury your thoughts, Put your vision to reality, yeah!
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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whatever you want to think Mr. assumption.
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GnuBobo
Frilly Cuffs Extraordinaire



Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 43,754
Loc: Charisma
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7624028 - 11/11/07 11:12 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Fucking go to a doctor, man.
It's not a life sentence for a single visit.
Just express your concerns.
It's not that difficult.
-------------------- Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!
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kriminalelement
"jesus wept."



Registered: 09/26/07
Posts: 1,201
Loc: Ay! los popos estan aqui!
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: GnuBobo]
#7624229 - 11/12/07 12:41 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Dude, i know you think chemicals will alter you for the better, and I think that too, but PLEASE, I'm BEGGING YOU *gets on knees* to go into psychoanalysis with a psychologist you trust deeply for at least six months. It sounds like you're having normal college-stress reaction. Everyone gets this in college. Personally, I couldn't sleep, I lost twenty five pounds making me at risk for heart failure I was so thin, I felt disconnected, I felt like talking to people was just a game.... And to some extent I still feel that way.
But unfortunately, this is part of growing up. First, you have to identify the REASONS you feel the way you do. You must always start therapy with the belief that there are inner and outer reasons for your feelings. FEELINGS ARE NOT PURELY CHEMICAL, and a chemical will not fix them. So just coping with the reasons themselves will help you.
Some reasons not to take anti-depressants: 1. There are no studies that indicate they make any improvement in mood. The average of most people on placebo feeling better is 30-50%, and the average of most people on the actual drugs is 30-50%.
2. These drugs are actually severely mood altering. I have been on EVERY (yes, every) anti-depressant. Since I was eight. I am a naturally angry and depressed person, but since it is due to environmental factors I am not "clinically depressed" (whatever the fuck that means.....) Every anti-depressant I was on made me INSANELY manic. It was like taking speed, but without the desire to do anything or have sex, EVER. The pills will give you a constant rush of serotonin, dopamine, and norepenephrine. This is NOT pleasant. If anything, it decreases your social drive and makes you feel more detached and zombie-like.
3. Anti-depressants have been known to cause panic attacks and nervous breakdowns. When I was taking effexor I became so panicked one time that I couldn't move for five to eight hours. Somebody actually came into my dorm and stole weed from me and I didn't move a muscle. My thoughts constantly raced and I freaked out so bad that I started to think death was chasing me and, while attending my uncles wedding, that my entire family was conspiring to turn me over to the DEA. I actually checked the centerpiece at my table for bugs. I was CONSTANTLY HALLUCINATING. I have never had these feelings in my life, except when I was on effexor. They stopped as soon as I discontinued the drug, but my grades were so low my parents pulled me out of college.
You could have a great experience with anti-depressants.
But you could also go bat shit nuts, and realize how much sanity really means.
Sanity means quite a lot to you when you are chasing a metaphorical owl of your own invention through a patch of trees, and you realize, oh my god, my hands were made by ALIENS!!!!!! (this is not fun)
4. Anti-depressants might make you feel better temporarily, but they can cause long term brain damage (the neurons get cut after a certain amount of time). Also, a lot of people totally lose their ability to focus on them, and get horrible grades (like me).
5. Whatever psychiatrist you see is getting paid thousands and thousands of dollars to pump drugs down your throat, so make sure you ask them to disclose what they are receiving in incentives before you take ANYTHING you are prescribed. I learned this the hard way and have spent the last six months desperately trying to get unaddicted to xanax, which I was prescribed 4mg a day of after speaking to a doctor for five minutes, and who I never saw again. I can feel my own teeth rotating around in their sockets, and I was so freaked that the other day I couldn't take a shower because I saw a ghost in the bathroom. I have to take an anti-seizure medication so i don't drop dead in the street. Whatever you take, you might become addicted. Is addiction something you want to face? How would addiction impact your school work and social life?
As a person who struggles with depression, anger, and suicidal thoughts, PLEASE try psychotherapy. It REALLY helps. I know that sounds stupid and corny and not like it's going to work, but if you find a therapist you can trust it is SOOOOO much more helpful than drugs. Drugs are never the answer. And if you get on the drugs, what's your long-term plan? Stay on them forever? I've met people that have done that, and they're worse off than when they started. You have to make a commitment to independent mental health.
Believe me, I've been in so much pain that all I wanted was a pill. But the pill just numbed it over, you eventually have to deal with your feelings when you get off it. I feel so bad for what you're going through right now and I know you'll find a solution.
-------------------- While there is a lower class, I am in it While there is a criminal element, I am of it While there is a soul in prison, I am not free. Eugene V Debs
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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its ok don't feel bad.
i just find it weird because its been a long time and i have just gotten fed up with whatever methods i can employ myself. i inevitably crash it seems, i just think maybe the meds might stop that. not deal with my problems sometimes they dont even seem to have anything to do with the crash.
im glad to here that these are helpful to some people at least.
i will get some specifics if a doc says i need them. plolly make my choice from there.
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kriminalelement
"jesus wept."



Registered: 09/26/07
Posts: 1,201
Loc: Ay! los popos estan aqui!
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: i feel dead inside [Re: pong]
#7624253 - 11/12/07 12:54 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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W/e you do, make sure you go see a psychologist first, not a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists will not listen to your problems, nor do they have the facilities to diagnose you. No honest psychiatrist will ever actually diagnose you, they will treat your symptoms for a period of six months and make sure you are seeing a psychologist during and after treatment.
I've never met an honest psychiatrist.
-------------------- While there is a lower class, I am in it While there is a criminal element, I am of it While there is a soul in prison, I am not free. Eugene V Debs
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pong
kretan




Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 4,311
Loc: west coast
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good to know
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