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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
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I dont think I want drugs anymore... *updated w/report*
#7621706 - 11/11/07 11:36 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm throwing away all my "stuff" because last night I really learned a lot about myself. I learned that the only thing I really need is to have people that care for me and no drug no matter how strong can even come close to the awesome power that is the comfort of someone else.
So I'm going to give up tripping for at least 6 months and see how I feel then. If I get an urge to expand I will only use them in the company of people that I love.
Its crazy how even though everything went to shit from the minute I ingested I came out with a great view of life that its just great to be and I really wish I don't have to lose sight of that feeling.
I'll add a trip report soon
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Edited by learningtofly (11/13/07 09:14 AM)
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: learningtofly]
#7621739 - 11/11/07 11:48 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Don't throw your shit away. If you're really intent on quitting for a while theres no reason to wash money down the drain. I can't tell you how many times I've given all my weed or shrooms away and regretted it.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: g00ru]
#7621749 - 11/11/07 11:53 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I didn't have that much left, just a bong, salvia, a little bit of shrooms, and a pedro cactus (im keeping the pedro cactus though because I like it) I had planned on ordering some mimosa and some other stuff but i'm not sure if i'm still going to do that or not.
I just feel like I finally get it. I started talking to people about things that I've always meant to say to them but was afraid to so the shroomz were kind of an excuse to say what I really wanted to say.
They're definitely not something to take lightly.
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Help on the Way
Slipknot420

Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 2,893
Loc: Another World
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: learningtofly]
#7621802 - 11/11/07 12:21 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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you never NEEDED drugs in the first place 
funny how the harder trips are the ones you always learn the most from...
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*Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
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Silversoul
Rhizome


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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: learningtofly]
#7621815 - 11/11/07 12:25 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Man, I've had a few bad trips where I ended up saying "I'll NEVER do this stuff again." That resolution usually doesn't last for more than a couple months.
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Help on the Way
Slipknot420

Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 2,893
Loc: Another World
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: Silversoul]
#7621822 - 11/11/07 12:27 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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yea...i always end up goin back .....
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*Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
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Quoiyaien
><<<<0>>>><



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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: Silversoul]
#7621827 - 11/11/07 12:30 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I cant count how many times I have thrown away all my shit in the middle of an acid frenzy. i always end up regretting it.
IMO, its not a successful trip if don't vow to stop using all drugs afterwards. It doesnt last long, but it happens almost everytime.
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: Quoiyaien]
#7621865 - 11/11/07 12:41 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Well literally all of my trips have been half good and half worst moment of my life so its more about if the bad is worth it.
I'm gonna try and go at least a few months and I really wish that I could stay off of them but I just can't help but alter my mind. What really sucked also was that everything was really disgusting and when I looked at myself I was extremely deformed and fat and it just made me want to vomit. This trip especially sucked because I KNEW that I was just tripping and I knew who I was and all about myself but on another plane I was having the worst moments, while everything was so confusing and didn't make sense.... But on the other hand my first trip, when it went bad I went like literally insane and totally forgot who I was but this time I was amazed at the fact that I still had the willpower to say "No, thats not who I am, i'm just having a bad trip"
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: Quoiyaien]
#7621867 - 11/11/07 12:41 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah, just because you don't need drugs doesn't mean there isn't a place for them still. They're just one more tool of self understanding. Theres some quote...I'll try to paraphrase it:
"Every six months or so I eat some mushrooms, because that's a part of myself that I never want to lose."
IDK who said that, it's in somebody's sig.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: g00ru]
#7621872 - 11/11/07 12:44 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah so I think i'll do it every 6 months or so because having constant bad trips is kind of getting well annoying. Jeez, my friend put on Anchorman while she was over trying to help me through it and it was like some sort of freak show.
Does anyone know why there are mouths on everything? or what that signifies?
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,532
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: learningtofly]
#7621910 - 11/11/07 12:59 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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i've given weed away i've thrown coke down the toilet and out the window, but I've never been fickle with mushrooms or acid or salvia.
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_ 🧠 _
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Quake3
Total Carbohydrate




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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: learningtofly]
#7621989 - 11/11/07 01:21 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Drugs are not, and will never be, a replacement or permanent answer to what makes you happy and content. They might show you answers, or act as a catalyst towards what you seek, but it's important that you don't rely on tripping on a regular basis as your source of happiness.
I personally trip once every 6-12 months. Usually just if I feel 'lost' or uneasy about life, and want to seek insights. However, I brainstorm, introspect and meditate a lot before tripping, and use the trip as a way of making ends meet or connecting fragments of ideas that have been on my mind the past few months.
Tripping every other day would "solve" my problems, and I can afford to do so, but it's not something I would do. For example, I can grow pot and become "rich" with minimal risk, and avoid having to work, but I want to be legit. Values and principles count. YMMV, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Here's another example: I want to be somebody of integrity and I want to maintain my honor - hard to gain, easy to lose, and once you've lost it, it's damn near impossible to get back. Obviously I shouldn't steal.. but let's say I'm walking and I spot something. It would help me tremendously (financially or otherwise), and there's a ZERO chance I'll get caught, and nobody will really lose anything (say, it's a fortune 500 company and the loss is not even worth chump change to them). It's very easy to justify just taking it, but I wouldn't because stealing is dishonorable. It's the "little" things like this that matter.
Anyway, I don't know why/how I side tracked. It's great that you've gotten a big insight. It really is great to just 'be' - What's better than the feeling you get right after you 'survive' a bad trip?
Cheers.
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Jabensis
Daddy



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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: Quake3]
#7623378 - 11/11/07 08:08 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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as mist people have agreed, I have been there so many times. So many times have i realized i don't NEED this, so many times have i said i'll never do this again, and TOO many times i've gotten rid of my stuff.
So you've had a bad trip, who hasn't, it's OK. If you've learned about something wrong with your life or maybe you just didn't like the fact that some really shitty event happened that you couldn't control, you are better now because you have faced your demons and now know what you are made of.
Because you survived, you are stronger.
As for giving it up for a few months, I totally suport it. But remember the reasons for your hacienda and stick to it.
Just remember you Floyd fan, there are people here (shroomery) that have been there, and most would probably help you get through your times of shit, i know i always lend my help to all who need it.
Good Luck, and post that report.
-------------------- J
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: Jabensis]
#7625258 - 11/12/07 11:19 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Alright, heres the report... This is half bad/half good. In retrospect some of you might say that bringing other people into this was a bad idea but it helped me a lot and I've only tripped solo, so when things go bad i have no one there. This time I decided fuck that if im going to get thru this i need people that care for me.
PS. Its really hard to describe my emotions thru this so this is basically the abridged version.
Injested around an 8th at 8pm. From the start I had gotten some bad vibes. It took around half an hour to kick in and I had thoughts like "What if these are amanita phalloides?" and things... i was getting kind of anxious but then the familiar "breathing" started. I immediately turned off my computer and music because it was making me irritated. Then went outside and everthing was so surreal almost like the film 300 (although that film was kinda lame)...
Then the bad vibes really set it, it was like a continuation of my first trip (my first trip was also my WORST trip, theres a report of it somewhere) So I was basically in the same mindset howevever this time I had the willpower to say "No, this is just a bad trip" whenever I could. It seemed like i had various levels of concious, the one that was tripping and the sober mind, lucky for me i went to the sober mind every once in awhile. So now that I was 100% convinced I was just tripping, the bad trip was just really really irritating because it wouldn't go away. I then went to lie in bed but it was just so awkward, i couldn't get comfortable. I looked in the mirror and the sheets seemed like they were a part of my body (meaning I was really fat and disgusting)... I freaked out and looked at a picture of myself with a friend, and guess what? we both looked extremely obese and gross.
Oh fuck I thought, my sober mind is losing the battle... I then got the familiar part of the bad trip where you hear "Dananana... dananna..." over and over again getting farther and farther away and thats all that is in your head, making you feel like youre literally insane and completely alone, I can't describe it very well but its quite prominent and repeats throughout my bad trips.
I felt very sick so I went to the restroom to attempt to throw up... I didn't throw up because obviously it was all in my head but my entire house looked really disgusting, and then toilet was endless.
So then I tried to change my setting, i got out of bed and went to turn on the Simpsons because they make me feel good... well it was just confusing because i interpreted their actions as all hating each other. Out of desperation I called a friend of mine, but all she did was laugh at me. After I told her "im not fuckin kiddin" she just talked to me about her day which helped (anything to get my mind off of the trip which was headed south really fast). But I couldnt talk on the phone because for some reason I totally tuned her out. I asked her just to call back in an hour to check on me and said thats fine, she'll do that.
So for what seemed like an eternity but was in fact only 10 minutes I contemplated my existence and a world of things that "don't make sense". So another friend of mine called to see what was up (I suspect one called the other) and I told her that I was feeling extremely bad and if she'd come over for a bit. She came over (another friend came with her, of which I didnt plan on) and I could tell she was very freightened because she kept her distance among other things. But after I talked to her thru mumbling things I convinced her that i was going to freak out on her.
They put on Anchorman to help ease my mind and just started talking to me about everyday things which helped a lot. It was strange because at this point my Sober Mind and Tripping Mind were 50/50 so often I would go in and out of each of them. Like once I realized I was just tripping, the tripping part would get a lot worse. However the movie was really visually scary as fuck. I would look at my friends only to find their eyes replaced my mouths and their heads thru funhouse mirrors.
All I need was a goddamn hug which took her about 30minutes to realize which was a bit annoying.
Anyway, I was slowly but surely getting better and thankfully it never went downhill from here well for the most part. But my friends had to leave after about an hour and a half.
I became really hyper for a bit and as soon as they left I felt scared and alone again (which was pissing me off because I wasn't really scared). I guess they called another friend of mine (why they keep calling people without my knowledge, i've got no idea) and "John Doe" came over to replace them. By now I was mostly clear headed and the visuals were much more pleasant.
We jammed on guitar for awhile and listened to some amazing tunes. After about half an hour he left to go get something to eat (he'd come back in about an hour) so during that time I talked to a few people who i'd havn't seen in awhile (particularly a certain foxy lady) whom I had a very meaningful conversation about life.
Well John Doe returned, drove me over to his place because he felt I shouldn't be alone for the remainder of the night (so as for it not to go downhill again)... well we got there and let me tell you the car ride was preeeetty weird.
We had some philosophical conversations and played some more guitar. Then went off to bed. For some odd reason as soon as I started to go bed (particularly when he went to sleep) my trip went to shit again. More of the weird thing I was talking about earlier with the strange noise which makes me go insane... oddly enough I found that noise in everything. I had crazy open eyed visuals before sleeping (i get some even without tripping) and a guy, who i think was a painter, was climbing up the couch and stuff.
Have you guys ever seen your fingers fing? It's so weird.
Through all that is where I realized that I don't need drugs I just need friendship
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Kaja117
Stranger


Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 29
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: learningtofly]
#7625953 - 11/12/07 02:20 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah I totally understand Nobody needs drugs, and if you don't want to continue to do them, then by all means, STOP
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: Kaja117]
#7626532 - 11/12/07 04:12 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Okay I'm going to try an abstain until June and when June comes i'm going on a journey through my mind. Until then i'm going to start packing.
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Caribou_Lou
Stranger


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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... [Re: learningtofly]
#7626614 - 11/12/07 04:28 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I never needed drugs, but that doesn't stop me from using them.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: learningtofly]
#7626636 - 11/12/07 04:32 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I wouldn't set ultimatums for yourself; that's limiting. Life can be a very long time. You might just be one of those people who trips 4 times in his entire life, seperated by decades, or other lengthy increments of time. Don't write them off for good. Only until you hear them calling you again...and you'll know when you hear it. You'll know. It might never happen or it might be years down the road. Either way, be open to your senses. If they're telling you "no more" for right now, then that's perfect for now. But who knows what the future might bring. Just relax and keep yourself open to all possibilities.
Good trip report
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eve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--



Registered: 04/30/03
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: MOTH]
#7626650 - 11/12/07 04:36 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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You don't even need people that care about you. I gave up drugs two months ago and I am feeling really good now. really strong and healthy. Those are feelings I forgot.
-------------------- ...or something
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: eve69]
#7626863 - 11/12/07 05:25 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
eve69 said: You don't even need people that care about you.
No offense but where do you get the balls to tell me what I do and do not need? What I come away with from my bad trips is that I am alone, when I have people that care about me I feel better than ever.
All that aside im going to abstain till June and see what happens.
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Edited by learningtofly (11/13/07 09:15 AM)
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Robo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: learningtofly]
#7626934 - 11/12/07 05:40 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
learningtofly said:
Quote:
eve69 said: You don't even need people that care about you.
No offense but where do you get the balls to tell me what I do and do not need? What I come away with from my bad trips is that I am alone, when I have people that care about me I feel better than ever.
If you needed drugs you were approaching it in a completely wrong way. The way you make them sound its as if they are comparable to social acceptance and relationships, almost like a substitution. Drugs and people will never be the same, and aren't in any way similar. If you want to drop using substances because you feel loved now then it sounds like you weren't totally using them for the right reasons to begin with.
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Robo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: Robo]
#7626941 - 11/12/07 05:42 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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And no disrespect by the way, none at all.
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: Robo]
#7627036 - 11/12/07 05:57 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I worded it incorrectly, what I meant to say was that I don't need drugs to learn about myself and/or have a good time (I used "need" but not in the literal sense). I didn't use substances to feel loved but I guess a better way to say it is that personally I don't have a use for them anymore. But in retrospect once a year or so to evaluate myself would be fine.
When I compared them to feeling loved it was something that I learned about myself through the journey which was that well fuck i can't really explain it.
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Robo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: learningtofly]
#7627067 - 11/12/07 06:01 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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So then you've found yourself, what you had been hoping to achieve through substance use?
Congratulations
Edited by Adagio (11/12/07 06:08 PM)
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: Robo]
#7627115 - 11/12/07 06:11 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I went in expecting nothing so I hadn't planned on achieving anything in particular.
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coulterIV
Technopagan


Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 285
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: learningtofly]
#7627693 - 11/12/07 08:02 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I have done enough drugs to know i should have never done them in the first place? Use whatever technology is necessary to expand an otherwise limited perception. Tripping to me is like taking a shortcut to the worlds of glory that are here for us to experience. you can arrive at these new worlds but when you get there, you will be in spiritual handcuffs only to be cast out yet again. Ultimately there is a natural way to get there by living good and staying one. Experience many dimensions. Learn more about God through companionship friendship and caring for others. The focus here is on getting better, we are alone when we enter this world at birth and when we die, how do we reach the next step of existence? the only cure for the sickness is perfecting and understanding each of our own God presences the best part is sharing this with others! Most of us needed some substance to re-member this.
-------------------- BREATHE IN LOVE BREATHE OUT FORGIVENESS (If you’re not in your breath, you’re in your mind)
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Jabensis
Daddy



Registered: 02/14/07
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: learningtofly]
#7629200 - 11/13/07 07:42 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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the nanana thing...Is that from Brak?
Anyway. Mabe this trip you had not too bad, not too fun is a compliment of your previous bad trip. Your trip sounds sctrikingly familiar to what happened to me when i last tripped. Not bad, but def not good. And so maybe everyone who has a bad trip(like REALLY BAD) has to have one of these half shit/half not bad trips.
My first trip i thought my life as i knew it was going to end. Like my family abandoning me my GF dieing and my dog dieing. I am a little ashamed to admit that i had thoughts of suicide dring this time. Luckily i talked to my GF and she made everything better for me. As for this last trip it was full of fun visuals but there was definately that bad vibe sticking with me. As if the satan of tripping was on my shoulder the entire time and he beat the fuck out of the angel a long time ago( http://www.emofaces.com/en/buddy-icons/a/angel-and-devil-on-shoulder-buddy-icon.gif ).
Good luck with your abstinence.
-------------------- J
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eve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--



Registered: 04/30/03
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: Jabensis]
#7629419 - 11/13/07 08:59 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Where do you get the balls to post in a public forum and tell people how to respond? If you want sanctioned opinions go to a shrink, which from your responses sounds like what you need.
Defensiveness points to -issues. Not the opposite.
-------------------- ...or something
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: eve69]
#7629469 - 11/13/07 09:14 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Point taken but "You don't even need people that care about you." doesn't make any sense to me.
As for a shrink, my mother made me go quite a few years back but IMO it was pointless because it didn't do a damn thing nor did I have any desire for it.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: learningtofly]
#7629789 - 11/13/07 10:54 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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You sound like you're doing the right thing, just taking a break from it. Maybe in the future you should combine drugs and friends...seems to me having good friends around greatly reduces the potential for a bad trip.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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phoenixsage911
Epic Journeys


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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: learningtofly]
#7630224 - 11/13/07 12:20 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I agree with homie. You dont need anyone. If you rely on others to keep you happy, or to keep you sane, then you have more problems than you thought. Your probably one of those people who cant turn off their cell phones for an hour or two without freaking out. Try turning off your phone for a week. You need god, and yourself. Some people dont believe in god, so you really only need yourself. "no offense" but you need to start relying on yourself, and your own mental capacity to keep you away from your fears and doubts. I guarantee most of your "friends" wont be there in a few years, let alone 10-15 years down your road of life. If you continue to rely on others, you will have alot more problems than just bad trips. You'll be lonely every day, and rely on talking to someone on the phone for not the good reason you talk to someone on the phone (because you enjoy their time, and like their personality) but because you just want ANYONE to talk to.. Thats wrong, for two reasons. A.) your disrespecting the person your talking to for using him, and B.) Cmon Bro, be a man. Turn off your phone for a week. you dont die, i promise. again "no offense"
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eve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--



Registered: 04/30/03
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: learningtofly]
#7630251 - 11/13/07 12:25 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah, I was merely trying to be positive.
You figured out you didn't need drugs - very positive. But yet you feel dependent, this time on people.
Well, yes, we all need each other, but how much really? I mean do you really neeeeed others? Or are you just happier due to them? It may be the opposite if you give it a chance, you might be happier by yourself.
I was not trying to be a jerk.
But as was also said, drugs and people are not the same thing and so why associate the two in the same sentence? If you were my MD, he would reschedule you for the other problem. Really! If I went to him with a cough and heartburn he would just treat one before he would consider the other.
okay, laterz....
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: I dont think I need drugs anymore... *updated w/report* [Re: eve69]
#7630862 - 11/13/07 02:25 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I barely use my cell phone though... okay I see what you're saying and its all correct but I it was my fault for not wording it correctly. What I tried to say was that in terms of having fun, I personally have more fun with people than I do alone (or alone w/ drugs) so why not have drugs WITH people thus having most fun. In any case, im taking a break from tripping because as I said a majority of my trips have been "bad trips"
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