Last night I had my first taste of Salvia. It was (in retrospect) a great experience and a rather humbling introduction to the drug. Although, the trip itself was nightmarish and taught with fear, anxiety and hatred; I feel as though I gained something from it. Even if I haven't quite figured out what that "something" is.
Before you read this I will tell you: I know I did this entirely wrong. I smoked at a party, no bong, no torch. The environment was completely unfavorable. I tripped in a basement when I should have been in a field, should have been more personal etc... I know this. But in all honesty, my immaturity and anxiousness got the better of me, and I could not help myself.
I filled the bowl of a small glass pipe with an unknown amount of 20x extract. It was a decent pinch, and the experienced salvia-trippers around me concluded that it would "Fuck me up nice and proper". We were using a regular Bic lighter and at first we were having trouble keeping it lit long enough to ignite the flakes. But finally we managed to get them roasting and I took a sizable toke, leaving the lighter on throughout its duration. I held it in for maybe 20 seconds before exhaling. A head rush. I didn't know what to make of it, but remembering my friends advice, I decided to press on: If you have the physical ability to take another hit, do it.
The second hit burned even better than the first and I held it for just as long, if not a bit longer. When I exhaled the first thing I noticed was the elasticity of my flesh weakening, and finally becoming nonexistent. My skin and muscle tissue felt as though they were loosely draped over my skeleton. Not only this, but it was increasing in weight and suddenly I felt as though I were carrying 50-60 extra pounds of loose, fleshy, putty. Yet, even though I felt like I was made of play-doh, I could still take another hit. So I did.
The third hit laid me down on the bed and helped facilitate the melting of my excess body fat. I felt in someway plastered to the bed as I tried to raise my head. When I did, I noticed my first and perhaps only visual affect: The orangey-flesh tone of the walls seemed to stretch for an eternity. As if these were not walls, but rather barren plains of endless color. The people in the room now seemed to be made of melting wax, and their bodies seemed to drift off into the nothingness that surrounded us. I remember thinking it seemed very much like a Salvador Dali painting.
I sat in marvel of this imagery. There was a brief moment of time where I felt like what was happening was incredibly monumental and profound, as if I were just now realizing that the very act of living was art. And that lifestyles/ethics are just a way of artistic expression and are therefore completely subjective. This existential observation was soon ended by the entrance for three or four curious drunks. They kept saying things like "Oh my god, is he on salvia! Oh man he’s tripping!"
I was filled with disgust and anger. But also fear. I saw everyone around me as spiritually and morally bankrupt in every way. They seemed to be complete nihilists, living in complete and total vanity. The word voodoo for some reason kept popping into my head and I have yet to really understand why.
Humanity seemed to be parasites to me, and I needed to escape. Maybe three minutes had past by this point. I grabbed my sweater and somehow found my bag. Luckily my friends were ready to leave the party and agreed to come with me. At this point my friends are under the impression that I am having a few minor affects and I am a little on edge. In actuality I am in a place of complete and total "Fear and loathing". (I know this is a tired term and a lot of drug users get sick of the endless Hunter S. Thompson worshiping, but this is really the most accurate term to describe my feelings)
We were walking to a restaurant, and I was silent the entire way there. When we finally arrived I had found my head, and I actually felt remarkably good. I felt like I had just escaped sin, like I had seen some form of hell and rejected it.
I realize that this was a very weak trip, and I am sure there are many reasons why I didn't "break through". But I still feel like it was a very productive experience. And it has made me desperate to try not only salvia again, but mushrooms as well. I am very anxious for my next psychedelic trip, I hope that it concludes some of what was started with this latest endeavor.
Edited by Spanki (11/10/07 02:00 PM)
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