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Cameron
Too Many Words



Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 4,437
Loc: Canada
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: kidaihuan]
#7613778 - 11/09/07 05:09 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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God damn it, that's the saddest story I've heard in a long time. I'm terribly sorry that you're all being put through something like that, and that your friend's daughter was lost (I sincerely hope that your friend will pull through).
Again, in agreement with everyone else: in no way was it your fault. In hindsight, it may seem like your decision caused the accident, but we have no way of knowing what repercussions our actions can result in. Any decision holds the potential of being your last, or someone else's. It was an every day sort of situation, but today chance took a turn for the worst...
Best wishes to you
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sleepy
zZzZzZzZz


Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 3,888
Loc:
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: vandago]
#7613784 - 11/09/07 05:19 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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try not sleeping for 3 days and see how you feel. climb a mountain. ride in a car. a brother is gone. where did he go?
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Gill


Registered: 10/18/07
Posts: 511
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: kidaihuan]
#7613788 - 11/09/07 05:26 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Kidaihuan put it best. Nobody knows when somebody else is going to die, unless they plan it themselves that is. :P You didn't know that was going to happen to him. Accident-related deaths are just something you hear about on the news from time to time. You never consider the possibility of it happening, so you're not as conscious of the chances.
I can relate to the pain of loss, though, in a way. My father died about two years ago of bone cancer. He'd been complaining of shoulder pains off and on for a little while. By the time he got it checked out, the doctors discovered he had bone cancer that had already spread into parts of his spine in skull, meaning it was inoperable. He lived for about three months after that.
It didn't hit me as hard as it would have normal people, because I didn't have much of a relationship with my dad. My parents divorced when I was rather young, and my dad lived out-of-state. He'd occasionally visit, and I would usually spend a week or two at his house during the summer. The last few years before he was diagnosed, I didn't go to his house at all during the summers. His raging bitch of an ex-wife made communications between our families difficult, which also played a hand.
Before he died, I was able to reconcile any possible differences we had, so there were no hard feelings between us at all. When he died, I cried like a bitch. Since then, I've not shed a single tear over it because I have no regrets. Your kind of loss is different, though. You had no warning, so you had no chance to get anything off your chests and clear the air. My mother's health isn't all that great, so I'm not sure how many years she's got. Thankfully, there are no problems between us, but I'm still haunted by that day.
That's all, I guess.
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Dave Bowman
Albert Hoffmans Apprentice




Registered: 08/30/07
Posts: 2,104
Loc: Your Imagination
Last seen: 3 months, 23 days
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: kidaihuan]
#7613798 - 11/09/07 05:33 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm greatly sorry for your loss, but you couldn't have possibly known what was going to happen. It's called an accident for a reason, no one PLANS an accident.
Keep you head up, and best of luck.
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Liz
Owl Lady




Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: vandago]
#7613800 - 11/09/07 05:34 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Fuck. I'm so sorry that this happened to your friend and his daughter. I can tell how torn up you are, and that you're blaming yourself, which is a normal response - but please try not to. You had no way of knowing what would happen, and you can't 2nd guess every action based on "what ifs". You're a good person, with a good moral code, and this is tragic - but not your fault. I'm praying that your friend pulls through this somehow, and that his daughter is safely in a better place.
-------------------- Remember, remember the fifth of November The gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.
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John0809
Sporehut King


Registered: 01/28/06
Posts: 183
Last seen: 16 years, 18 days
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: Liz]
#7613828 - 11/09/07 05:51 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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My Heart goes ou to you and your abillity to post something so tragic, OfCourse your friends are in a place with the +|BEST|+ 1/8th you could ever buy. dont feel bad try to thhink of it as his favor to you seeing it might have been you facing th deer that night, =( very sorry and saad. my heart to you
-------------------- Check out my Site!
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gENERIX
/usr/bin/drinking?


Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 5,697
Loc: Skyward Bound
Last seen: 3 months, 7 days
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: kidaihuan]
#7613920 - 11/09/07 06:53 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm really sorry to hear about your loss!
I wouldn't blame myself though, it was a freak accident!
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WhiskeyClone
Not here


Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: vandago]
#7613957 - 11/09/07 07:17 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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Rylmonkey
Former Master ofThe RX-7



Registered: 07/24/05
Posts: 505
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#7614054 - 11/09/07 08:10 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Wow this sounds so fucked, very hard thing to go threw no matter who you are. of course all of us at the Shroomery will pray for your friends well being, and of yours of course. I recommend you be strong for your friend and his family, we'll be here for you, well be here to see if we can slightly show you the light of life.
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Ego Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea



Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: vandago]
#7614069 - 11/09/07 08:18 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Sending shroomy vibes
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Stizzle
Stranger



Registered: 04/26/07
Posts: 754
Loc: Tuvalu
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: vandago]
#7614118 - 11/09/07 08:34 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I really feel for you but like the others said don't blame yourself. Your friend probably wouldn't have wanted you to be putting yourself through shit over it.
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blissedout


Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: vandago]
#7614151 - 11/09/07 08:45 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Damn, Vandago...
I'm sorry for your loss, man. I hope your buddy pulls through.
This should be an eye opener for us. Life is too short and random for us to spend it moping and miserable. Get out there and live life and find the things that make you happy. It's such a waste feeling sorry for ourselves and trying to find somewhere to point the blame for our existence. We are here. Let's live happy!
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LosAngelesGraff
Ca Shroomite



Registered: 06/09/06
Posts: 7,047
Loc: Califas
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: vandago]
#7614185 - 11/09/07 08:56 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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my prayers are with you all over there. try not to blame you self friend. be happy you talked to him before this happend. it would be worse if you never got to hear him in good spirits. i had a friend end up geting shot and almost dieing cause he was hanging out with me.
--------------------
  Please help support cover-upz blog http://cover-upz.blogspot.com/ Please PM me if you can help build cover upz blog.
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Cheezit
Feel like aStranger

Registered: 10/19/07
Posts: 843
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: vandago]
#7614208 - 11/09/07 09:09 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hey man it's not your fault! That stupid cunt that swerved did it. The person even broke the law around here by swerving to avoid the deer. Thats why I don't like driving on the highway. Sure you can drive good, but you never know how the person next to you is going to act. I drive a tank, for stuff like this, a real war wagon. Smacks the deer straight off the road, can take a blow from a side swipe.
It's a really bad thing man! I'm sorry for your friends and all the relatives. It could have been anyone, and toady it will probably be someone else. My condolences.
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Yoschie99
nomad



Registered: 11/24/99
Posts: 3,149
Loc: center of earth
Last seen: 2 months, 17 days
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: vandago]
#7614236 - 11/09/07 09:24 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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it's very easy to look at a tragic situation and the series of coincidences that lead to it, and put blame on yourself...
Fortunately.. this is not your fault.. it was *just* a series of coincendences that had a tragic end.
Keep your chin up.. go visit him at his bedside and tell him how much you love him and his daughter... for him and yourself...
get your grief out... let those emotions go.. and then move onto the healing.. remembering all the good...
I'm really sorry for your loss.. and hope that you find a realm of comfort for yourself, as long as it may take.

yos-
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: vandago]
#7614326 - 11/09/07 09:56 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Oh God how terrible 
My condolances man, from the heart.
I have to say this though: Based on your story I can tell you with certainty that you are not responsible. You are not a clairvoyant, you couldn't know what happened, and because you couldn't know you couldn't be responsible. Let go of your guilt feelings and accept what happened, and that you could've done nothing to prevent it.
Vandago, listen up: don't lose yourself in drugs. It's perfectly normal to want some solace but don't take much or many drugs to try cope with this. You need a clear head. Sleep well, eat well. These will be trying times.
I've asked the Divine Force to bring your friend back, but only if he would return to a life worth living. I believe he will only die if there was nothing left for him in this life.
Be strong Vandago. Seek out times of being alone and times of being with your loved ones. If you need us, we're here.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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boomer q
Comrade General



Registered: 05/03/07
Posts: 1,091
Loc: Dirty Jersey
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: Asante]
#7614343 - 11/09/07 10:00 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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-------------------- I got bags of funk and i sell em by the tons
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JT



Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 7,027
Loc: athens
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: boomer q]
#7614370 - 11/09/07 10:06 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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You can get through this man. It wasn't your fault.
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andrewss
precariously aggrandized


Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 8,725
Loc: ohio
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: JT]
#7614395 - 11/09/07 10:15 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thats a horrible story, sorry to hear it. Try to think positive, help the family out and try not to beat yourself up about it. Like everyone said, there is no way to predict that kind of stuff. Anyway, sad stuff... good luck
-------------------- Jesus loves you.
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RemainRandom50
Do You Need ToKnow Me?
Registered: 01/15/06
Posts: 1,695
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
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Re: My close friend and his daughter died today, I could've prevented it...... [Re: kidaihuan]
#7614397 - 11/09/07 10:16 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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my heart goes out to you.
-------------------- At times I get consumed by my everyday life and will leave the Shroomery. Yet, every time drugs come falling into my life for fun.....I always think about the Shroomery and then I'm back!
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