|
Some of these posts are very old and might contain outdated information. You may wish to search for newer posts instead.
|
hurdygurdyman
Stranger


Registered: 09/17/07
Posts: 14
|
please critique re: writing style and safety of disclaimer
#7611148 - 11/08/07 01:08 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
the legendary Don D. Juan’s Shroom Experience Kit This kit contains everything you need and a free easy-to-read book of instructions on how to grow legal mushroom spores from a syringe into very good yields of the highest quality, legal, mushrooms with the least amount of work and know-how! This kit is specifically designed for fun, efficient production of delicious oyster mushrooms using great techniques originally developed for the illegal home cultivation of Psilocybe cubensis strains. The legendary Don D. Juan already lives his dream of eating Pink Oysters everyday. Now you can too! When the legendary Don D. Juan saw people struggling to grow mushrooms with some of the currently available kits he was gravely troubled and sought Advice from The Universe. These other kits were too complicated and prone to contamination (i.e. total failure). They came with vague, boring and confusing instructions. At best these other kits took a very long time and required a lot of patience, skill and luck. These other kits also made it very easy to underestimate the total investment needed because of so many “not included” items. Don D. Juan knew he could do better. Don D. Juan’s latest idea was to put in one box everything a raw beginner needs, to grow lots of tasty mushrooms from a spore syringe in the shortest amount of time possible AND HE MEANS EVERYTHING! Don D. Juan has also saved you work at every stage of this process by doing as much of the prep-work as possible. He knows most people find it difficult and tiresome to learn what he has about mycology’s sterile procedure and just want big bags of mushrooms in their refrigerator. Don D. Juan has spent hundreds of hours researching and testing historical and current cultivation methods and has compiled techniques and tweaks from many great folks in the mushroom tribe. He has worked very hard to write clear, complete instructions that you can easily follow with “no questions asked”. Don D. Juan explains everything you need to know and has left out all the other confusing stuff you don’t need to worry about on your first try. For a first time grower a pre-sterilized jar of brown rice flour substrate is the easiest and most dependable way to grow lots of mushrooms at home, PERIOD. When ten small jars of top-quality substrate are fruited with all of the latest techniques you can realistically anticipate a yield of one full kilogram + of fresh mushrooms! You will grow these mushrooms very easily and very quickly (in as little as seven to eight weeks)! Are you excited yet? Don D. Juan is a small-businessman who makes all of the organic substrate jars with his own two hands and sterilizes the kit materials personally. Why does he do this? One reason is that Don D. Juan really likes to grow mushrooms. Another reason is that Don D. Juan would like everyone to grow mushrooms. The last reason he does this is the most obvious: Don D. Juan first needs the money, then he will get the power and then he will get even more fine-ladies! If you can follow Don D. Juan’s simple step by step instructions you can almost “guarantee your results”! This kit and a spore syringe from a reputable dealer are all you ever have to buy to get endless smiles and an all over happy, wise feeling from growing the best oyster mushrooms you have ever eaten! Just like the legendary Don D. Juan! THIS KIT AND ITS ACCOMPANYING CULTIVATION GUIDE ARE NOT INTENDED OR SOLD FOR USE IN ANY ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES WHATSOEVER. DON D. JUAN’S SHROOM EXPERIENCE KIT IS A PRODUCT DESIGNED AND DISTRIBUTED TO BE USED FOR HOME-HOBBY OYSTER MUSHROOM CULTIVATION. DON D. JUAN HAS NEVER GROWN, PICKED NOR EATEN ANY OF THE SUBVERSIVE AND TOXIC PSILOCYOBE MUSHROOMS THAT, HE FEELS, THREATEN THE VERY FABRIC OF OUR SOCIETY AND KNOWS NO MORE ABOUT THEM THAN WHAT HE HAS HAD TO READ ON THE INTERNET TO BETTER REFINE HIS OYSTER MUSHROOM GROWING TECHNIQUES. DON D. JUAN HAS ALSO READ THAT IF YOU EAT PSILOCYBE MUSHROOMS YOU MAY BECOME ADDICTED TO THEM AND/OR GO INSANE. YOU MAY START STEALING THINGS AND SELLING ILLEGAL DRUGS TO FINANCE YOUR EXPENSIVE PSILOCYBE HABIT. SOON YOU WILL NEED TO TAKE MORE AND MORE OF THEM TO GET THE SAME EFFECT BECAUSE TOLERANCE TO THEM DEVELOPS VERY RAPIDLY. THEY ARE NOT PHYSICALLY ADDICTIVE BUT SOON YOU WILL NEED THEM ALL THE TIME TO ESCAPE FROM REALITY BECAUSE YOU WILL STOP MATURING EMOTIONALLY THE DAY YOU FIRST TAKE THEM. YOU WILL COME TO TOTALLY RELY ON THEM AND FOCUS ALL OF YOUR ENERGIES TOWARDS MAINTAINING YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADDICTION. PSILOCYBES CAN BE A “STEPPING-STONE” OR A “GATEWAY DRUG” AND YOU MIGHT SOON MOVE ON TO EVEN HARDER, CRITICALLY DANGEROUS, DRUGS LIKE OPIATES, METHAMPHETAMINE, CRACK COCAINE AND THE ABUSE OF THE SO-CALLED “LIGHT-DRUGS” LIKE WINE COOLERS,, CIGARETTES, CAFFIEINE AND MAYBE EVEN REEFER AND HASISH. IF YOU USE OR INTEND TO USE THIS KIT FOR ANY ILLEGAL AND DEPRAVED PURPOSE CONTRARY TO DON. D. JUAN’S INTENT, INSTRUCTION AND WARNING THEN YOU CHOOSE TO DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU HAVE NOW BEEN ADVISED AND WARNED. IN BRIEF, YOU SHOULD ONLY GROW OYSTER MUSHROOMS WITH THESE SUPPLIES AND THE INFORMATION CONTAINED HEREIN. JUST LIKE THE LEGENDARY DON D. JUAN!
|
hurdygurdyman
Stranger


Registered: 09/17/07
Posts: 14
|
Re: please critique re: writing style and safety of disclaimer [Re: hurdygurdyman]
#7611165 - 11/08/07 01:12 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
and, ya...its copywrited so show it around if you like but DONT sell it, please
|
Slimz
.-~*´`*·~-experience-~*´`*·~-.




Registered: 10/03/07
Posts: 3,588
Loc: Maryland
|
Re: please critique re: writing style and safety of disclaimer [Re: hurdygurdyman]
#7611191 - 11/08/07 01:17 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
sounde like the perfect kit to grow cubes in.. ( i read th whole thing)
-------------------- Lazy Drywall Tek (no powdery mess) This series will blow your mind and confirm what you already know to be true. The Pharmacratic Inquisition Best Thread Ever ! ! !
me if you have questions about lasers Although i may advise others in a general way regarding all types of mushroom grows, and may even post question from other forums about growing "active" mushrooms, i only grow non-"active" mushrooms and edibles. FeelFamily resident tech guru
|
anarchOi
Ellenalien is fat.



Registered: 08/06/07
Posts: 2,293
Loc: ASE
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
|
Re: please critique re: writing style and safety of disclaimer [Re: hurdygurdyman]
#7611198 - 11/08/07 01:19 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Don D. Juan is said way too many times.
--------------------
|
orchidfanatic
retiree




Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 832
Loc: where the wild things are
|
Re: please critique re: writing style and safety of disclaimer [Re: anarchOi]
#7611320 - 11/08/07 01:54 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I dont get it .. whats the purpose of this statment .. where is this sold?
|
hurdygurdyman
Stranger


Registered: 09/17/07
Posts: 14
|
Re: please critique re: writing style and safety of disclaimer [Re: orchidfanatic]
#7611415 - 11/08/07 02:24 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
sold at local head-shops. this only cover sheet. I have written clear instructions based on PF-Tek. If you read the rest you would know why i say the name so much...trust me it gets quite funny and building up a mythical hype improves credibility. Thx folks...
|
hurdygurdyman
Stranger


Registered: 09/17/07
Posts: 14
|
hers a sample of my style of teaching...inoculation part [Re: hurdygurdyman]
#7611423 - 11/08/07 02:27 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Part II: Inoculation (the “hard” part) This is when you “plant” (inject) the “seeds” (spores) in the jars. Don D. Juan sees this process as being very similar to how he uses his personal “hard part” gently, precisely and in a rapid but not hurried fashion when he is with his fine-ladies and is convinced this is why he does this process so majestically every time ...and you can too! Just like the legendary Don D. Juan! 1. Cut open the included face mask bag with the included crappy scissors and put on the mask. 2. Lightly spray the counter and sink one final time with the disinfectant spray. DO NOT make the same mistake Don D. Juan made his “first time” when he accidentally sprayed down his own perpetually “hard part”! 3. Use the supplied hand sanitizer as directed. Clean hands are VERY important! Ask your own fine-ladies if you don’t believe Don D. Juan! Reapply as needed throughout this process whenever you are in doubt. 4. Cut open the bags of jars with the crappy scissors and arrange the jars on the counter. 5. There are two “lids” on each jar. The first is a double thick layer of foil double cramped around the jar threads. We will call this lid “B” (for “bottom”). The second is a single layer of foil draping down the outside of the jar over lid B which we will call lid “C” (for “cap”). First loosen up this longer, foil lid C on all the jars into upside down bowl shapes so that they could be easily be removed with one hand but DO NOT remove these yet and DO NOT EVER loosen the shorter, double crimped, thread seal lid B. 6. Shake your spore syringe vigorously for at least a full minute before use. Some solution will drip out of needle into the cap but this is to be expected. 7. Remove the cap from the needle of the spore syringe. 8. To inoculate each jar follow these easy steps: a. The needle must be sterilized before injecting the first jar and in between all of the other jars so you will flame it at least ten times. Using the included butane lighter flame the first 2.5 cm of the needle and especially the tip until red (or almost red) hot to sterilize. Wait a full 15 seconds for needle to cool. Sometimes black carbon soot will coat your needle after flaming. Use only the bluish bottom third of the lighters flame to avoid this. If soot does build up don’t worry, just use one of the previously included alcohol wipes to clean the needle. The needle will change colour from shiny silver to dull grey but this is not a problem. You do not have to wipe the needle at all unless black soot covers it or vermiculite sticks to it. b. Take lid C off one of the jars only with one hand while holding the syringe ready in the other. c. Turn lid C upside down (now it is a right side up bowl shape) and place it on top of one of the other jars making sure not to touch the inside surface of this “bowl”. d. Each individual jar will be injected with 1 cc of spore solution total but you will split this up into four injections per jar for a total of forty injections. Poke the syringe through the now exposed lid B about 1/2 cm from the rim. Angle the needle very slightly while fully inserting it so that you can see the tip of the needle slide down against the inside of the glass jar. e. When fully inserted, carefully inject about 0.25 cc of solution so that you can see it running down the glass on the inside of the jar. 0.25 cc is a very small amount so only a small trickle is what you will see. Even though Don D. Juan avoids this concept completely in the rest of his affairs, more is not better in this case as it upsets the water content of the mix. f. Repeat this injection procedure at three more points around the rim of the jar so it has been inoculated at all four points of the compass. You do not have to flame the needle in between points on the same jar. g. Replace lid C lightly over lid B so it becomes the upside down bowl shape again and quickly and lightly smooth it back down. Slide the finished jar to the other side of the counter so that you know which jars have been inoculated and which ones haven’t. h. Repeat step 8 for all of the remaining jars. This will use up the entire syringe. If you get a little ahead or behind of your 1 cc per jar pace then use a little less or a little more in a couple of jars until you catch up. 9. Squeeze all the lid C’s fairly tight again to reseal them to the lid B’s so that contaminants are kept out. 10. Smile knowingly because all the hard work is finished and maybe knock back a couple double-shots of tequila. Just like the legendary Don D. Juan! (Note: It only takes one microscopic spore to colonize the whole jar so don’t worry if you think you have messed up and only injected a jar in 3 places etc. If you keep still “to do” jars on one side of your counter and inoculated (finished) jars on the other you will do this part as majestically as Don D. Juan himself. Don’t bother to go back to check or re-inject a jar in a new hole unless you feel it is absolutely necessary! You might do more harm than good.)
|
monstermitch
Growing in Bags Doesn't Work



Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 3,911
Loc: Arizona Bay
|
Re: please critique re: writing style and safety of disclaimer [Re: hurdygurdyman]
#7611427 - 11/08/07 02:28 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
hurdygurdyman said: ...building up a mythical hype improves credibility.
I don't quite know about that. I know some other folks who feel the same, but I'd have to say that I disagree. But whatever works for you. I think it's annoying.
Good luck with your product sales.
--------------------
|
hurdygurdyman
Stranger


Registered: 09/17/07
Posts: 14
|
Re: please critique re: writing style and safety of disclaimer [Re: monstermitch]
#7611430 - 11/08/07 02:30 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
THX, monster. Thats what i need
|
RogerRabbit
Bans for Pleasure



Registered: 03/26/03
Posts: 42,214
Loc: Seattle
Last seen: 11 months, 3 days
|
Re: hers a sample of my style of teaching...inoculation part [Re: hurdygurdyman]
#7611446 - 11/08/07 02:35 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
DON D. JUAN HAS ALSO READ THAT IF YOU EAT PSILOCYBE MUSHROOMS YOU MAY BECOME ADDICTED TO THEM AND/OR GO INSANE. YOU MAY START STEALING THINGS AND SELLING ILLEGAL DRUGS TO FINANCE YOUR EXPENSIVE PSILOCYBE HABIT
In addition to the horrible disinformation quoted above, you'll never in a million years get a kilo of fresh oyster mushrooms from ten pf cakes, nor is there any connection between your dick and mushroom growing.
I couldn't even read your instructions. You seriously need line breaks between paragraphs. I did see a serious mistake in step 10, because mushroom mycelium is not mold, so it takes more than one spore to get a fruiting strain. I'd say you still have a lot of work to do. I'd suggest hanging around for a few years and learning the ropes of mushroom growing before trying to write teks.
Thanks for not including any links per our private message exchange, but this is seriously off-topic for our forum. I'll have to close the thread. RR
-------------------- Download Let's Grow Mushrooms semper in excretia sumus solim profundum variat "I've never had a failed experiment. I've only discovered 10,000 methods which do not work." Thomas Edison
|
RogerRabbit
Bans for Pleasure


Registered: 03/26/03
Posts: 42,214
Loc: Seattle
Last seen: 11 months, 3 days
|
Re: please critique re: writing style and safety of disclaimer [Re: hurdygurdyman]
#7611450 - 11/08/07 02:35 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
This thread has been closed.
Reason: click
|
|