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tiny_rabid_birds
Nocturnal



Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 15,653
Loc: estados unidos
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so i'm lying in bed.
#7605300 - 11/06/07 11:36 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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trying to go to sleep. it's dark, i have some gentle mirah playing on my computer. i vaped a bit to help counteract the adderall i took earlier today, and the many cups of coffee.
so lying in the dark half stoned, completely cuddled up for warmth under my blanket in my freezing room, the music starts to remind me of my ex. we dated for like 4 years, broke up like exactly a year ago. last november. so i start thinking about her, missing what we had. i'm glad we broke up, i don't regret it, but i still totally miss how we were.
i started half unconsciously daydreaming. thinking of a scenario wherein i got high/drunk and started talking to her. talking about the old days. and then i propose a notion,
"hey, let's just act. for a day, we can just act like it's 2 or 3 years ago. like the present never happened. we can go back to your mom's or your dad's. you can wear your pajama pants. we'll curl up on the couch together and watch tv. no overt displays of affection. just sitting with each other, leaning on one another, enjoying each other's company while watching... i dunno.. sex in the city or something. something we used to watch together. we'll sit and i'll smell your hair and you'll run your fingers over my back and we'll just be back there again."
and so i'm stuck thinking about this for quite a while. getting totally nostalgic. and then i think about the high school days where she and I and my best friend and his serious g/f, who was my g/f's best friend, would all hang out together. the 4 of us used to hang out together all the time. we had so much fun. we all got along great. i don't regret where my life is now. i'm having fun, doing what i like. but for a day, i would like to experience that again. the feelings i had at that time. the fun i was having at that time.
and this overwhelming feeling of nostalgia just floods into my every being. for this brief moment, i am literally physically pained by these feelings, by these remembrances of the past and the realization that i will never, ever... ever.. have those experiences again. even now, as i type this, that realization comes over me in waves. and for a brief moment, it's just like this intense oppressive weight drops on me. just for a second. then it passes.
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ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween



Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
Last seen: 19 days, 2 hours
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Yea, it sucks when you have something but then realize that you won't get it again, at least not in the same way.
Enjoy, be glad you are happy with your life now... you will find someone just as good again.
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geokills
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙


Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 23,417
Loc: city of angels
Last seen: 3 hours, 38 seconds
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I've known the feeling. And for whatever crazy reason, I've taken much enjoyment from it. It's all part of this extensive learning experience we call life, we are a product of our history.
It is good to know that you have strong and passionate feelings. That you remember where you come from. Do what you can to keep these intimate emotions close to your heart. 
Stay interested, hopeful, and foster in you the things that have made you the best that you can be.
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-------------------- ┼ ··∙ long live the shroomery ∙·· ┼ ...╬π╥ ╥π╬...
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Senor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion



Registered: 08/11/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
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You'll have the feelings again man only next time they'll be awesomer with new sexier girlfriends and shit.
-------------------- "America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.” -- Thomas Jefferson The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance. The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)
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The_Red_Crayon
Exposer of Truth


Registered: 08/13/03
Posts: 13,673
Loc: Smokey Mtns. TN
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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When im in bed im always thinking about drinking milk and shit.
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tiny_rabid_birds
Nocturnal



Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 15,653
Loc: estados unidos
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any particular reason why?
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Kamin



Registered: 02/04/07
Posts: 449
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
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Well, at least you have some good times to be nostalgic about. And like geokills said, it's important to look back at the things that defined your past and to realize they all helped create the current you. Nothing wrong with that.
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Helixx
Mood:Fragglerocked



Registered: 06/07/07
Posts: 1,623
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: so i'm lying in bed. [Re: Kamin]
#7605443 - 11/07/07 12:58 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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geez geo's post was perfect, couldn't have said it better myself.
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