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cellardoor
rider on the storm



Registered: 10/25/06
Posts: 71
Loc: +44° 58' N, -93° 15' W
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love
#7600785 - 11/05/07 10:39 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."~George Sand
Is there such a thing as a soulmate? True love?
-------------------- "If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite."~William Blake
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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I think that guy is not quite on. Personally, I would change it to "There is only one happiness in life: to know one is free, and to experience freedom."
I don't think there is such a thing as a soulmate, but I do believe it is possible for two people to connect at a very fundamental level. I haven't experienced it, but I like to believe it's out there. I don't know if I really believe it or just want to believe it, but it seems more likely than not that it is a distinct possibility.
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soldatheero
lastirishman


Registered: 03/09/07
Posts: 2,856
Loc:
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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At the core of your being, the only thing that satisfies your existence, what makes consciousness worth wild, is sharing it with other sentient beings. Having others makes existence real, otherwise your waking life may as well be a dream. You should realize your love for everyone.
To find your soul mate you must combine love from the soul (immune from the physical world) and the all powerful physical, sexual attraction. For you live inside the realm of consciousness, which itself is inside, and is a product of the physical. Which makes you fall in both, unify the two.
damn im baked hope you guys can get something from that.
-------------------- ..and may the zelda theme song be with you at all times, amen.
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Silversoul
Rhizome


Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Quote:
cellardoor said: Is there such a thing as a soulmate? True love?
I think so, but I don't know. I'll let you know when I find it.
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MorphMan
δSλ



Registered: 03/13/06
Posts: 1,362
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Quote:
soldatheero said: At the core of your being, the only thing that satisfies your existence, what makes consciousness worth wild, is sharing it with other sentient beings. Having others makes existence real, otherwise your waking life may as well be a dream. You should realize your love for everyone.
To find your soul mate you must combine love from the soul (immune from the physical world) and the all powerful physical, sexual attraction. For you live inside the realm of consciousness, which itself is inside, and is a product of the physical. Which makes you fall in both, unify the two.
damn im baked hope you guys can get something from that.
That is some deep shit, man. I are baked also.
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MushmanTheManic
Stranger


Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
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Quote:
cellardoor said: "There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."~George Sand
Is there such a thing as a soulmate? True love?
I don't know. I don't think I could love anyone as much as I love my girlfriend. (And by love, I mean erotic love. I still have plenty of brotherly love to go around. ) In a social psychology class I learned an interesting definition of love - love is when another person becomes part of your self-identity. The absurdity and potency of this definition never hit me until I actually experienced it. It is quite an odd feeling to consider another person to be a part of your self. I have a hard time even explaining it.
I don't think soulmates or true love exists as people like to think it exists. A soulmate is not a person you stumble upon one day and then magically spend the rest of your life with. Soulmates have to be made.
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger



Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 12 days
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Quote:
cellardoor said: Is there such a thing as a soulmate? True love?
It depends on you. I see love as the state of being that arises when one dissolves obstructive elements of ourselves that seperate us from our direct experience of reality, which occurs when we become more conscious... Love is being conscious on a level that transcends addictions to security, sensation, and power. The more attached we are to these centers of consciousness, the less possible it is for us to center in being love.
I wouldn't speak for the idea of a "soulmate", as everyone associates their own meaning to it. In my experience, it is possible to find someone who complements who you are perfectly, to connect on every level, in every way... to find someone that truly captivates you in every second, with every subtle aspect of who they are, and you are lucky enough for them to feel the same way about you...
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If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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hummermania00
Strange Son of aBitch



Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 327
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
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Quote:
fireworks_god said:
Quote:
In my experience, it is possible to find someone who complements who you are perfectly, to connect on every level, in every way... to find someone that truly captivates you in every second, with every subtle aspect of who they are, and you are lucky enough for them to feel the same way about you...
Yes, i know what you are saying here, and it is fairly obvious from your recent posts with MT that you both have found something special.
But I wonder that: "possible to find someone who complements who you are perfectly", is as subjective as "soulmate" in that each person interprets this differently. And I don't intend this to belittle anyone's experience, but I notice as a general trend that people are really highly focused on "perfection" in relationships over the past 20-30 years. It is my experience that most are not, the ones that are, are very rare.
-------------------- You are a fortunate person indeed, if you can begin each day accepting the fact that during that day there will be ups and downs, good breaks and bad ones, disappointments, surprises, and unexpected turns of events. When you have solved all the mysteries of life you long for death, for it is but another mystery of life.
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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I keep forgetting and remembering about love. It seems when I go looking for it, it eludes me. When I'm no longer looking for something, and I'm just gently sharing myself, this is when the love comes in.
Gentleness.. is something which I've taken for granted but when I put the concept into use I find that gentleness is gracefulness and when you are graceful - doing everything with peaceful and caring intent- everything becomes easy and effortless and love is more free to flow through you and the thing you are putting care into, whether it be a person, instrument, and so on.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Is there such a thing as a soulmate? True love?
What, as opposed to untrue love? IME the soulmate thing is a bunch of baloney. Romantic attachment to an attractive person of the opposite sex is not love.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Quote:
soldatheero said: At the core of your being, the only thing that satisfies your existence, what makes consciousness worth wild, is sharing it with other sentient beings. Having others makes existence real, otherwise your waking life may as well be a dream. You should realize your love for everyone.
To find your soul mate you must combine love from the soul (immune from the physical world) and the all powerful physical, sexual attraction. For you live inside the realm of consciousness, which itself is inside, and is a product of the physical. Which makes you fall in both, unify the two.
damn im baked hope you guys can get something from that.
Sorry,try posting sober next time.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Quote:
Romantic attachment to an attractive person of the opposite sex is not love.
Whereas attachment to a repulsive member of the opposite sex IS love.
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Love is an amazing experience, particularly when you let go of the idea that people must deserve to be loved. There are, however, many other happinesses in life.
The concept of "soul mate," IMO is entirely too limiting. We may love everyone if we shift the emphasis from the qualities of others to our own quality of being loving. If love is a verb, as opposed to a noun (thing), then we can take action to be loving, rather than waiting for it to happen to us with some imaginary perfect (HA!) person.
There are certainly others with whom we experience a higher degree of affinity, and these companions will usually have a larger place in our lives than the rest of humanity. But if we limit our ability to love to this small group, we will create unhealthy dependencies AND miss out on the wider experience of loving.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said:
Quote:
Romantic attachment to an attractive person of the opposite sex is not love.
Whereas attachment to a repulsive member of the opposite sex IS love.
Only for you dear one.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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cellardoor
rider on the storm



Registered: 10/25/06
Posts: 71
Loc: +44° 58' N, -93° 15' W
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
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"true love" and "soulmate" are loaded words; they can mean so many different things for each individual, but society agrees on a general idea of these words/notions. Sure, there could be such a thing as "untrue love," it depends on how you look at it, take anna nicole(ugh) for example, or any other relationship of that kind. Perhaps George Sand considered love in the way you describe it, a superficial attraction, but i do not see it that way. love i imagine would be a feeling of harmony, of sharing the same wavelength sort of thing. And it is regardless of the outer shell(costume) we all wear. But at the moment love does exist to me, i just wanted to see what others thought of the concept.
-------------------- "If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite."~William Blake
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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I think that when most people say they love somebody what they really mean is that they are dependent on the affection, attention, social approval, and sex they get from the relationship. There's a part of me that is holding out in the belief that it really is possible to develop a passionate romantic relationship that is not simply dependent or about the satiation of loneliness, but rather based on some deeper affinity. This sort of relationship, of course, can only exist non-coercively, between people who recognize the other's freedom leave or to feel differently in the future. These hypothetical partners must be comfortable enough being alone that thier motivation is not clinging to an illusion of security. What I imagine is pretty much beyond the kinds of relationships I see people having, and that I have had. I'm working on being the kind of person who is capable of relating on this level. But I'm also working on being the kind of person who is content to be alone. If this works out, either way I win.
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MushmanTheManic
Stranger


Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
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Quote:
What I imagine is pretty much beyond the kinds of relationships I see people having
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Quote:
There's a part of me that is holding out in the belief that it really is possible to develop a passionate romantic relationship that is not simply dependent or about the satiation of loneliness, but rather based on some deeper affinity. This sort of relationship, of course, can only exist non-coercively, between people who recognize the other's freedom leave or to feel differently in the future. These hypothetical partners must be comfortable enough being alone that their motivation is not clinging to an illusion of security.
In my experience, this is entirely possible, but not at all easy. To relate to another in this manner requires not only being OK with being alone, but also a willingness to confront one's own knee-jerk emotional reactions to difficult situations.
As to the "passionate romantic" part, much of what we think of as passion and romance is rooted in emotional turmoil and dependence. Confronting these illusions is a lifetime's work, and IMO the price of admission to the deep friendship you've described and which I am currently experiencing with my dear one.
It means that the relationship can shift and change, but the loving friendship remains. It means that your clinging and neurosis will be exposed again and again, and you will take full responsibility for your own emotional state. It also means that you will continue to nurture and support yourself, no matter how tempting it is to over-focus on the bliss of connection.
It's worth it, though. Not as much for the relationship, though it is wonderful, but rather for the knowledge that you are capable of loving this way.
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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Re: love [Re: Veritas]
#7606848 - 11/07/07 12:48 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Right on Veritas, it's nice to know there are other people in the world who see things this way, and practice it as well as they can. There is something beyond co-dependence! Lucky for me, confronting my own illusions is my favourite hobby! Now encountering another who is committed to the same... hmm...
Mush, roll your eyes all you want but are you gonna try and tell me that you have never observed a couple having a codependent, clinging, neurotic relationship? Because in my experience this is the norm, and I want nothing of it. Maybe I'm in the wrong social scene, but people I know either have clinging neurotic long term relationships, or they are commitment-phobes who can't communicate and freak out the second they assume (without asking) that the other wants more from them than they know how to give. My personal experience tends to fall into the latter category. I guess to be fair, I can think of a few couples that seem to have well balanced, communicative and functioning relationships. Kudos to them. They are inspiring.
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bbaeker
baeker



Registered: 10/21/07
Posts: 66
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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i found my "soulmate" if you want to call it that, and i had nothing to do with it, the interaction between us was something that just happened. when we look back on it all (our meeting and endeavour into relationship) it seems so bizzare, and it tis hard to remember that i was once a single person, and that was only 3 yrs ago. being with her was/is like being alone but with someone else. it's strange to say the least. there is something that fused between us that i cannot comprehend, and our togetherness seems so fundamental, like the night and day coming and going. we are something that simply "is", and our connectedness seems somehow beyond our control.
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