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Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster


Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one
#7597219 - 11/05/07 01:19 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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So it had been years since i had a decent trip. Somewhere along the line i got the fear, and even low dose trips became unpleasant, and anxiety ridden. I was determined to jump back in, but decided that the best way would be to throw some MDMA in the mix, and only partake in the perfect set and setting.
I had all the tools, but bided my time. Planning, and recruiting suitable close friends for the journey. Well after many months of intense plans, and flakey friends that kept falling through it was decided that i would launch on halloween come hell or high water.
My buddy Eric and His girlfriend were to be my co-pilots. They were supposed to pick me up early in the day. His girl to be the Designated driver, and a series of possible fun activities to partake in. Nature walk, art gallery, 3d movie etc... Well they didn't show up till right before dark, and we decided to do the 6th street walk. So we each ate one hit...including the "designated driver" to my objections, but she promised that she could "handle it". HA Anyway we had to drive around for awhile, and run some erands. I started coming up rather quickly. Trying to ride with it, and avoid anxiety i ate .5mg lorazepam sublingually, which noticably evened things out, and smoothed the comeup considerably. At this point i was just enjoying being the passenger, and not having to worry about taking care of anything. I had held off as long as i could, and ate my first roll about an hour/hour and a half in. We were headed down the highway back to Erics apartment, and the cars and lights streaking by became quite the light show. Unfortuneatly i wasn't the only one beggining to trip fairly hard. Eric wasn't, but all of a sudden Daniel said she couldn't feel her legs, and she was "stuck" in the fast lane. After a few harrowing minutes we guided her off of the freeway, and Eric, who hadn't come up yet took over. We got to his house, and became stuck in a period of Limbo. We were all tripping nicely. My mdma was coming on in a slow wave. The mix felt just like i imagined. Buetiful. The problem was we realized that we were stuck in erics barren apartment. None of us could drive, our only idea was to have one of Erics friends. come pic us up, and be our ride to and from 6th street. I was weary, because i didn't want to put that kind of trust in a stranger whilst tripping. So after much debate and anxiety it was agreed that we would hunker down, and ride it out. I suggested we get the T.V.& DVD player out of the car, throw down a blanket/pillow fort on the living room floor and eat all our drugs. Them each eating another hit of acid, and me eating the second roll at about 3 hours in. As soon as this was acomplished, a feeling of comfort, and content washed over me. The lights were dimmed, and Alice & Wonderland was put on the tube. This is where the trip really began. I can't really explaine how i felt. I kept repeating that i'd never felt this way before. It was just the way i had imagined LSD, and MDMA would mix together. On the one hand everything took on a surreal quality. I could watch my mind take in everything, and re-evalute it from the lsd's point of view, as well as the 3rd voice of empathy, and theraputic self evaluation that the mdma brought. Remembering recent scenes from my life. The way i had acted socially, and the choices i had been making and thinking "what have i been doing with myself" i have got to change, and start loving myself" "i am lucky to still have friends who care about me" ect... ect.. in between ciggerettes, and waves of tingly body euphoria. We could have ridden out that trip right there on the living room floor, but fate had a different plan for us, and when Erics friends showed up, it was decided that they would scoop us up, and take us into the belly of the halloween beast. 6th street. Erics Friend Matt was dressed as Mr. Penut, and his girfriend was a bumblebee. It suited them well. Matt put off very friendly vibes. He was a clown, with a distinctly Jewy since of humor. In lew of being able to form coherent sentences, (which i was becoming difficult at this point) i gave him a couple of xanax bars to say thank you for taking care of us. We got in the car, and it was on. The ride was the same as before times 20. Matts girlfriend was obviously intoxicated driving, adding a certain level of Risk that while terribly reckless and irresponsible, felt kind of sexy. Matt asked if we saw the owl, comenting on the new Frost bank building that had been built downtown, and how when lit up at night it looked just like an owl, a simbol of the N.W.O. W.T.O. I saw it all right, and let me tell you. Pondering that in that particualar state of mind was spooky. When we get downtown i am peaking, and we hold on for dear life to each-other as we push our way into the thickest part of the croud and are pushed along. It is what it is. Halloween, Austin, 6th street. Thousands of people in every costume imaginable, everyone just there to see eachother and get anihilated. There is a noticeable contengent of thugs. Most of the guys not in costume walked in packs looking as mean as possible, and occasionally trying to pic fights. I expected this from years past, so it was easy to ignore. It was fun for a few hours, and than it wan't fun. We met up with a couple of Erics other friends. Big Jock guys, They were tripping too, and one of them was putting off really shitty vibes towards me, and i wished he would leave. Me and Daniel just wanted to go home, but we were trapped. For another hour or two it was shitty. Eric was a real trooper, and spent the whole time trying to get me and Daniel to stop being pussys, and enjoy ourselves. It helped a lot, and it got me back in a good mood again. Altho i was coming down hard from the two rolls, it trailed into a buetiful afterglow because of the acid. Added a nice demension to the lsd. So we waited around for a long time for our ride Matt, and his girfriend. I was just glad that Erics Jock friends had went there seperate ways. I had come down sufficiantly, and was tired, so i decided to start eating ativan, and xanax. I did this steadily throughout the rest of the night. When we found our people they were FUCKED UP. Matt had eaten both the xanax bars that i had given him, they were both drunk, and fighting with eachother, but they'r mood got better having Eric around. He's just one of those people. Anyway it looked like Matt was more sober, so we let him drive. BAD IDEA. I knew it. I offered to buy us all a cab, but when it came down to it i wanted to get home, and didn't give a fuck. Untill we got on the road that is. He was all over the place, massive traffic violations, in front of litterally dozens of cops right next to us. On the highway he was swearving all over the place. It was terrifying, but exillerating at the same time. I'v gotta say it made me feel alive, and brought my trip, and even my roll back up. We made it home safe. The party went on till sunup in Erics apartment, but that was pretty much the end of the trip. The rest of the night consisted of a lot of benzos, alc, some coke. The Jocks showed back up, and the one guy kept acting like a dick towards me, i got tore up, and ended up smoking like an eighth of nug by myself, and i haven't really smoked weed in years. I slept on the couch while the jocks tag teamed this rude bitch on the floor, much to my discomfort. Well i guess the acid and the rolls made me not notice that i had to piss all night. When i woke up, much to my embarrasment i had pissed myself.
So in conclusion, i think i'v kicked the fear. I'm ready some higher dose trips, and would recomend the 'flip to anyone. Really you can't go wrong with this combo. Oh and trust no one.
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eve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--


Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,910
Loc: isle de la muerte
Last seen: 24 days, 10 hours
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: Dreamer987]
#7597516 - 11/05/07 06:56 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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No offense but it sounds like mere consumerism. The Sixties are officially dead. Hippie power is over. Drug use has become mere bad karma. Illustrated here over and over again. It's sad to me that people think this sounds like fun. Where's the higher insight, freedom, peace, and love?
-------------------- ...or something
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eve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--


Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,910
Loc: isle de la muerte
Last seen: 24 days, 10 hours
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: eve69]
#7597536 - 11/05/07 07:11 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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...and before anyone says it don't get down on me for thinking this sounds like a shitty time. Personally I have always respected women, even whores, and I have never used one. Call me stupid, sure, but having jocks tag team some girl in a dismal appartment while zonked on Xanax and pissing oneself is not fun, in my lowly estimation. You will not get an applaud from me. The whole experience shows me why we all should be totally destroyed asap. Life holds no meaning. Is just drives without thought. Fuck us, stupid humans, we suck.
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RedRainDrop
LucidPsychonaught



Registered: 04/08/05
Posts: 941
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: eve69]
#7597776 - 11/05/07 09:27 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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too many drugs in the mix...........
-------------------- Fact: Saving the environment can take centuries A blow job can take up to 5 minutes. "When was the last time you heard green peace talk about the immense pleasure you get when you put your penis in someone Else's mouth? " -jonlajoie
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Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster


Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: eve69]
#7598032 - 11/05/07 11:04 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
eve69 said: No offense but it sounds like mere consumerism. The Sixties are officially dead. Hippie power is over. Drug use has become mere bad karma. Illustrated here over and over again. It's sad to me that people think this sounds like fun. Where's the higher insight, freedom, peace, and love?
eh i'm not looking for your applause. Merely reporting an important event in my life. Consumerism? 60's Dead? i don't quite see what your getting at. I'll be the first one to say this is NOT what i was aiming for, for my re-integration into tripping. Thats why is says "trust no one" in the title. I rolled the dice by putting my safety in other peoples hands, and lost. Yea it was shitty at times, and dangerous, but it wasn't all bad. Not by a long shot. I didn't like those assholes being there either. I certainly didn't like them fucking that bitch in the same room as me while i was trying to sleep, but what the fuck am i supposed to do, ask them to leave somebody elses house? The bitch was just as much of an asshole as they were, and came over looking to get fucked, so i hardly think we should shed a tear over the loss of her femenine dignity .
Anyway i don't know what you expect from me. You ask where the rainbows, and kittens, and dancing bears, and free love was? I got exactly what i wanted out of this trip. A NOT bad trip. I had some decent MDMA insights, i tripped hard without freaking out. I went through a period of adversity, and managed to come out of it with a better mind set. I'm ready to dive back into the world of psychadelics. You don't know how good that feels after being scared off for so long. And after this experience i think i will be picking a better set & setting, and not relying on my friends to take care of me. So take your judgment elsewhere. Are all of your trips free of consumerism on your magical blue bus, in the feild of suger magnolias? Than fuck off eh.
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eve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--


Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,910
Loc: isle de la muerte
Last seen: 24 days, 10 hours
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: Dreamer987]
#7598362 - 11/05/07 12:39 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Trust noone. Sounds like a shit way to live life. Not the old candy flipping of my youth when we werew broke and split what we had. this just sounded like a glut of mixed shit. The whole experience sounded fucked, and then you recommend it. It's the watching guys basically gang fucking some girl, who is a fucking human you dildohead, that pisses me off. How can you sit around and call yourself anything but some lameass, piece of shit, good for nothing druggie? You suck, and I hated your report, and it makes me want to disentangle myself from this entire board.
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vandago


Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: eve69]
#7598429 - 11/05/07 12:57 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
You suck, and I hated your report, and it makes me want to disentangle myself from this entire board.
Then quietly do so. However Just from the last 5 posts of yours I've seen, I doubt you quietly do anything.
People are not you, get over it. You preach on this message boards, like you are in church making a difference. Every night can not go EXACTLY as planned. Bad things happen, whether you control them ornot, get over it, your biased anger and insults won't solve a singal thing. For someone so peace loving, and about the " good vibes of the sixties", you just hate and insult, you're filled with anger, what the fuck is your problem? I'd imagine someone so full of peace, would have nothing but peace to put out to the world, but hey you bigot hippies know way more than us " good for nothing druggies ".
I really doubt dreamer videotaped that horrible act of "love". I mean really imagine what must be going through someones head....on MDMA...coming down....while some whore gets banged by a couple assholes that gave you shit all night? I'm sure it was not one of the higher points in his life, but I bet he gained a better lock on where he stands.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman



Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: vandago]
#7599197 - 11/05/07 04:38 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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damn dreamer ya too much
if you wanted a ball busting sacred trip that was def not the resipie ex out all the pills and stuff and you probly would have ahad a trippyer more awakening trip
seems to me you took yourself tooo many directions at once with all the fucking pharmos e coke and alch
my opinion tho
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: Dreamer987]
#7599474 - 11/05/07 05:55 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Dreamer, if you feel that this trip helped you out in any way, then I am happy for you. I know that you've been waiting to jump back into the psychedelic pool for awhile now and if this trip helped you face your fears, then that's awesome. Sounds like you are getting better at understanding what makes a good setting too (no really people, give him some credit). I'm glad you feel this experience was a positive one and I hope that next time the environment will be safer and cozier for you.
The driving thing made me bite my nails...I just hate hearing about anyone driving while tripping. It just pisses me off. Too risky...but luckily everyone was safe.
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mecreateme
YoUisMEEMsiUoY


Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 2,727
Loc: Memphrica
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: Dreamer987]
#7604372 - 11/06/07 08:06 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Looks like you got what you wanted out of the deal.
And sometimes you just get stuck in a room with people fucking. Its not the end of the fucking world.
I think somebody took over that eve69 person's account. Vengeful wife maybe...
-------------------- No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT. You are everything's way of feeling itself. Happy Schwag, everygodly!
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eve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--


Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,910
Loc: isle de la muerte
Last seen: 24 days, 10 hours
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: mecreateme]
#7606101 - 11/07/07 09:40 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
mecreateme said: Looks like you got what you wanted out of the deal.
And sometimes you just get stuck in a room with people fucking. Its not the end of the fucking world.
I think somebody took over that eve69 person's account. Vengeful wife maybe...
I had to give up drugs. I was addicted to poppy pods, weed, alcohol, cigs, and everything else. At night I stopped being able to sleep because I felt I was suffocating. Literally, I would not be able to lie flat without feeling a huge weight on me.
Xanax would wear off after an hour, if it put me to sleep. I became insomniac, and no drugs would make a dent. I didn't sleep for two months. I was crazy angry all the time. I couldn't meditate any longer. I quit my job because I just couldn't function any longer. That was the easy part.
Withdrawls cold turkey were so horrible they were ten times the bad of a bad trip, and lasted fifty times longer than acid. I was also still insomniac, but now with no dope at all.
Even just weed made me feel I was suffocating. Maybe it was just my lungs, maybe it was that and cardio from depressants. Maybe it was as I suspected, I was spending all my wife's and my hard earned money on something adharmic and I was literally suffering hell even as I was alive.
I had to get out.
I am not a born again, nor any of that shit. I am Buddhist. But I had defeated even my Buddhist vows.
I was a shit person. I used to think all this was cool. Because I would listen to great music and it would make me feel just fine with my fucked choices. But in the last bout of opiate withdrawl I cranked music so loud in my headphones that I lost half my hearing.
Now people treat me like I'm stupid. I can't hear TV, my wife, my teachers, and if I ever had a child I would not hear its small voice, or its breath or heartbeat.
I fucked my life up.
And so now when I see it in others it makes me sick.
You guys are just too young to understand. You like people and things which make you feel right, not realizing that you're sacrificing what's really right, health, mental health, wealth, time, common sense, all those things, for - nothing.
So you can watch stupid jocks fuck a whore, inadvertantly.
I don't hate you guys though you think so. Rather the opposite, I love the psychonaut who is seeking for truth and something higher than the refuse of the State and religion which mostly is our own knavery.
I love those who will make a difference to the quality of life for others.
I am some of your best friends right now, because the cops who beat you and steal your money and dope, and the friends who cuckold you for dope and drinks and money and rides, and the parents who drink a quart of Jack over their lost pets are not showing you how steep is the slope that you are cruising towards.
And the steep path back up gets harder and harder the more times you do the whole up and down.
Yes, it seems that I have become a preacher. It sucks. I am just a preacher of opening your eyes and enjoying health and good sense while you yet have the time to do other things with your life.
Because it often gets too late, and there's no quarentee that there's another life again. You all should treat this life like it's the only one you will ever have.
Even ears are precious. To not be able to hear your child speak, or your spouse, and have people treat you like a retard. Because you had so much ego and were over the top in everything. Sucks. At least be moderate.
Over and over like in the 420 needles thread I see hopelessness and self abuse to the extreme point of useless waste.
These cannot be your rolemodels. I am reading these trip reports for fun but it's making me sad. I can't help being reactionary with what I now know. I read the 25 DMT trip thing and it was neat at first, but then the putting the soul back together and it gets worse from there.
It's really a sign that killing yourself for any knowledge is not true wisdom.
Real wisdom is to watch everybody running around like headless chickens and to stand your own ground and breathe with attention to the present, enjoying the cool air while it still exists, helping others while one can still do so, so that one has real friends when they are down.
Not just junky friends who as soon as you're down and not up to making the run, drop you, or only call you to tempt you to fall. So don't hate me. hate yourselves, like I hate myself, for being full of pus, and never listening to anyone with sense.
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Silent_Vinny
Stranger


Registered: 03/31/05
Posts: 158
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: eve69]
#7636013 - 11/14/07 04:43 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I don't know; with a head of acid, mdma, pot, and I think you said coke..I wouldn't be able to sleep at all, especially in the same house as a gangrape.
In that condition I wouldn't of even hesitated to atleast say something to make those jocks think about how wrong they are. I would of said something to all of them; made some sort of scene, and than left.
You are right in saying that bad things happen uncontrolably. Some days are stranger than others. But what are you going to do about it? Atleast do whats right.
I would of felt such a evil vibe from those twisted fucks that I would of had to do something, no matter how fried I was.
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Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster


Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: Silent_Vinny]
#7697952 - 11/30/07 08:33 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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:pinches bridge of nose: O.K. i must have miscomunicated what happened, because a lot of people are making crazy assumptions. The Benzoz, alc, coke, weed etc came after the trip. I was still in afterglow mode, but it was two seperate partys. I did NOT like being around that one jock guy. AT ALL. His friend was all right, but he was sketching me out all night. I spend like 30 min to an hour begging my buddy to not make me sleep in the same room as them, as they were putting off mean vibes towards me. The girl came over sober, and ready to get banged. She thought she was gonna get to fuck my buddy, but quickly realized that he was with someone, and spent the whole night being angry, acting like a bitch towards me, and courting the jocks for a tag-team. She was more sober than anyone else, and happy to get fucked. Even in the morning she was stoked about it. So when i say tag-team, it dosen't translate to gang-rape.
I forgot why i stopped writing trip reports.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: Dreamer987]
#7704218 - 12/01/07 08:17 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Well, don't let a particular few discourage you from writing trip reports. Who cares about them? Writing trip reports helps to integrate the experience.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: MOTH]
#7707552 - 12/02/07 05:42 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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It's funny how people read a trip report, and try to percieve EXACTLY what was going on during the situation...in the persons head...the mood of everything...Just because you think you understand what someone went through you probably don't. To judge....and then to insult....is just outrageous, prententious, and not very "shroomy" at all......I keep forgetting there's only ONE way to do drugs.....if you don't go by that way then you should die....right?
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AnotherDimension
Wanderer in the Land of the Lost

Registered: 06/14/04
Posts: 533
Loc: USA
Last seen: 15 years, 2 days
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Re: The Halloween CandyFlip & why i trust no one [Re: Dreamer987]
#7717953 - 12/04/07 11:18 PM (16 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Dreamer987 said: I forgot why i stopped writing trip reports.
Don't worry about it. A lot of times in this sub-forum, I'll just read the initial post and skip the comments. Sometimes I'll read the comments. This (sub)forum has a much different flow from most forums though, so I wouldn't be discouraged.
-------------------- Another Dimension --------------------------- "Come, and trip it as ye go, On the light fantastick toe."
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